You’re not depressed. You’re selfish.


“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open? ” — Jalal ad-Din Rumi, Persian poet and mystic

Depression is not real. It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads. Psychiatrists, in stereotypical attempts to make what they do look relevant, identify endless causes for depression, and for each cause there is an unnecessarily complex solution. My contention is that there is but one true cause, and it has to do with your centre.

I just feel sad. My career isn’t going well. My kids don’t talk to me. My dad was an alcoholic. I hate my job. I hate my life. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I don’t have many friends. People don’t like me …  are the sort of typical comments that we hear from the depressed. Nowhere in there is there a mention of other people. It’s all about you.

As humans we get in this state of sadness over very real psychological issues and we think about them endlessly, feeding them and making them worse than they ever needed to be. This creates emotions and chemical reactions in the body that doctors diagnose as ‘depression’.

Doctors see depression as a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes negative thoughts, but this is not actually the case. There are chemical imbalances, yes, but they are caused by negative thoughts, not the other way around. Doctors will prescribe you medication to correct the chemical imbalances, thinking it will therefore correct your thoughts. What you actually need is to correct your thoughts, and you will in turn correct your chemical imbalances. Think positive and you will feel positive.

Why in poor countries are reported rates of depression significantly less than in western countries? We have everything, they have nothing. You’d think that somebody who doesn’t have food for their family would feel pretty fucking depressed, yet no, it’s the western businessman with everything who feels depressed. The superficial reasons could be many, but ultimately it comes down to one thing: the poor man doesn’t have the time to sit there thinking about himself. The poor man spends his time trying to feed himself and/or his family. This gives his daily life meaning, and it removes that infamous word ‘I‘ from his thoughts.

If you’re depressed my advice to you is to stop thinking about what you want, what you don’t have or what others have. Focus on something greater than yourself, be happy for what you have and what you are and cherish it. Remove the word ‘I’ from your vocabulary and you will find a happiness that you haven’t felt since you were a child.

Cherish the smallest moments that life offers, like sitting under a tree on a beautiful day, the breeze against your skin, with not a thought in the world. Remember that by focussing on yourself and your ‘depression’ you’re making life harder on you and on those who love you. They have to deal with your self-inflicted bullshit the same way you do. It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on them, and at the end of it all, when you do snap yourself out of it and ‘suddenly’ feel better, the truth will come to light. And that truth?

Your depression was all in your head. It wasn’t real. You were never actually depressed. You were just being selfish. And if you refuse to admit that you were simply being selfish, then you still are.



Due to the response this article has received I have written a follow-up. You can read it here. I also recommend reading the comments below.


1,463 Responses to “You’re not depressed. You’re selfish.”

  1. Venkat
    March 9, 2013 at 3:09 AM #

    Good read. WOW I like your writing style.

    • Toma
      March 9, 2013 at 7:50 AM #

      Thanks, Venkat. I appreciate your feedback.

      • charity.fuzessy
        July 11, 2013 at 12:36 AM #

        I agree
        depression is selfish . There are things in life that lead to feeling apathy and self loathing and wanting to quit though too some people feel heartbbroken discourAged used tired of caring alot and not being loved in return some people are frustrated and defranchised also the selfish uncaring actions of people can lead a joyful person to feel depressed because quite possibly the depressed person is angry over unrequitted love from the selfishguy she fell in love with. It hurts to give your heart to someone that doesn’t care anything about it, depresssion is complicated. You cant get lost in it because inessence. Its not worth grieving to the point of tragedy when you have to. Be strong those that do need you. Im just gonna find my joy in othet things oter then that mean msn that. Nrike my heart

        • charity.fuzessy
          July 11, 2013 at 12:49 AM #

          Its selfish to want to fall in love with a selfish person because it will effect every asect of your liffe and make you miserablee and then those around you wil always sad and that’s not fair to themm

          • lilian506
            November 17, 2013 at 12:32 PM #

            how the hell is it selfish to fall in love with someone regardless of whether they are selfish or not? falling in love is a totally different kettle of fish and last time I checked something you can’t really control.

            • Nor
              March 19, 2014 at 1:22 AM #

              I totally agree with lilian506.
              Depression in some aspects can come of as selfish but it isn’t all that, don’t replace depression with JUST selfishness.
              Although I do agree that a vast majority of us just have self inflicted depression.

              • maria
                March 20, 2014 at 1:11 PM #

                why everyone think that depression is caused by love? it can be caused by abuse, lost of loved one, or family member, who do you think you are to even say that depression is selfish?

                • Natalie
                  March 21, 2014 at 2:18 AM #

                  Who? I’ll tell you who – a human being with a point of view, even if it’s different from you.

                • divya
                  April 3, 2014 at 9:47 AM #

                  ti agree with u ! and making such a statement is completely absurd when the one is actually oblivious of the fact that what really causes depression! it’s not just love! they need to open up there minds and actually have at least have the required information!

                • Pete
                  April 4, 2014 at 4:27 PM #

                  Depression is a sense of helplessness, a feeling of or experiencing futility of life.

                  It is not, “I haven’t got this trinket,” or “my mug can scare a scarecrow.”

                  You can’t really write about it if you haven’t felt it. Reading “Crime and Punishment” might help.

                  • Liberty
                    July 12, 2014 at 9:04 PM #

                    I agree completely @Pete. My motto in life is “to understaqnd, you must experience.”

                • sbeam
                  July 19, 2014 at 5:51 AM #

                  I agree that depression isn’t selfish. It is a disease like cancer, diabetes, etc. It’s real and not in our heads. It causes real emotional pain. You aren’t an expert from what I’ve read.

                  • Natalie
                    July 19, 2014 at 7:55 AM #

                    Whether he’s an expert or not doesn’t justify the sweeping statements you made. That’s only what you believe it to be. To me, it is all in my head. I practice understanding and working with my emotions. It sucks sometimes but when I near giving to and feeling sorry for myself I can often lift myself. The mind can’t be treated as any other organ. My negative and dark thoughts/emotions cannot be compared to cancer.

                    • Chandler
                      July 22, 2014 at 11:43 PM #

                      okay let’s get one thing straight; feeling sad isn’t depression. clinical depression IS a chemical imbalance which causes you to feel sad, anxious, etc. so while you may feel sad, that does not necessarily mean you are depressed.

              • Cobi50
                June 24, 2014 at 12:22 PM #

                There are real reasons to be depressed, i.e., a loved one dies. Then there are the myriad bullcrap reasons that most of us become depressed over. IF we would all just drink and dance with one hand free….ahhh we would be much happier as a culture.

        • Emma
          September 8, 2013 at 6:31 AM #

          Depression is an illness. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it is not real. Your article seems to be on people who say they are depressed when they are just feeling sad about something. There is a big difference. I am depressed because I am. No cause, I am just ill and I have to deal with it.
          Stop being so stupidly simple about a massively complicated subject that you obviously do not understand in any detail.

          • Wendy Adelissa Mason
            October 18, 2013 at 12:42 PM #

            I totally agree Emma. Studies have been done that people with depression have a smaller area in the brain that deals with adaptation. One day I just started crying. There was no reason. My life was going good. Then all the physiological changes happened. Sleeping 14 hours a day because I had no energy. My whole world was in slow motion. And what people don’t realize is by calling us selfish you press those guilt buttons already so sensitive in a depressed person. I agree you should fight it and not give into it, if it is in your ability. For me I needed help and am now on an antidepressant which has helped me a lot. People who haven’t experienced something firsthand should be very careful not to judge.

            • will
              December 4, 2013 at 11:22 AM #

              Those grey areas are smaller because of the way you think. Your brain is like a muscle, it shrinks if you don’t use it right dummy.

              Just be grateful for the little things in life because where we’re all heading in’t not getting any better than this.

              • Bill
                December 24, 2013 at 5:44 AM #

                That’s absolute tripe, Will. Your brain is not a muscle, it’s an organ, and your brain is where your thoughts come from in the first place. They don’t magically transport there from some mystical aether. Your thoughts ARE controlled by your brain, hence why depression exists and why it is a DISEASE, not a choice. You should be ashamed for trying to offer people advice from such a position of ignorance and, yes, stupidity.

                • Juan Laguerta
                  December 24, 2013 at 7:50 AM #


                  • Jack
                    January 1, 2014 at 12:37 PM #

                    You’re an idiot. If free will and fucking sunshine cured cancer, no one would die from it, ever. I don’t care if you’re a troll or not, I came to this blog already pissed, so I’m replying anyway.

                    • Bokuno sururu
                      January 1, 2014 at 1:06 PM #

                      It doesn’t cure cancer but there are documented cases of people beating cancer with their will power. Stress can destroy you physically and stress is purely psychological. Your brain has a prolific effect on your physical body and you cannot deny that. And you can’t expect to think like a fucking dumbass for a lifetime and walk away with a perfectly healthy brain. Depression is psychosomatic. It’s self inflicted. I GET IT. THERE IS A FUCKING CHEMICAL IMBALANCE. IT’S THERE. I SEE IT. WHOOPTY FUCKING DOO. YOU MANAGED TO FUCK YOURSELF UP SO MUCH THAT IT SHOWED UP PHYSICALLY. THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOUR ILLNESS VALID OR LESS OF A PATHETIC JOKE BECAUSE IT’S YOUR DEMENTED MENTALITY THAT GOT YOU THERE AND IT’S YOUR MENTALITY THAT SHOULD GET YOU OUT.


                    • Ro
                      January 3, 2014 at 1:33 PM #

                      This is so wrong. Holy shit are people really saying this shit. Depression isn’t just feeling sad, you know that right Bokuno and Juan?

                    • Jon
                      February 26, 2014 at 3:35 AM #

                      Why do you people feel compelled to switch to CAPSLOCK to yell your point at the person you’re clearly looking down on? Why even reply to people you look down on?

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      February 26, 2014 at 1:15 PM #

                      You don’t scream at people you look down on. You’re not angry at people you look down on. If you really looked down on somebody they wouldn’t matter enough for you to even give a shit and be mad.

                    • Natalie
                      March 15, 2014 at 7:30 AM #

                      You have your opinion, and so does the other side…but you’re probably too self-absorbed and victimized to see it. No need for name-calling.

                    • Rachel
                      May 3, 2014 at 7:03 AM #

                      So, this is why I usually don’t read these articles… They frustrate me, and there’s no point in explaining why because people refuse to listen. People have to understand that we’re getting very philosophical here, everyone is looking at something from their beliefs and experiences, it’s entirely opinion and preconceived notions. Everyone thinks they know everything, but they don’t (This is from both sides). As for depressed people being ‘selfish’, well, maybe I am selfish. I’m depressed, because I choose to think negative thoughts. I think negative thoughts because it’s easier to be negative than it is to be positive. I’m not romanticizing anything, I just choose to look at things negatively. Being happy takes effort and vulnerability. I am sick of sucking it up and ignoring emotional pain and forcing myself to be happy, when I know it isn’t real. Thinking positively doesn’t make problems any easier. Maybe I am being selfish. I’m keeping it to myself and being unfair to myself, but all I want to do is be realistic. If I’m having a tough time, and I can’t take it, being cheerful makes it harder. Expecting the worst makes it routine. So, I’m selfish. And I’m going to continue to be, because it’s the only way I know how to get by.

                    • Natalie
                      May 3, 2014 at 10:13 AM #

                      This I understand.

                  • Ro
                    January 3, 2014 at 1:38 PM #

                    What is wrong with you? Why are you writing in all caps? And how can you judge someone on something that you don’t understand at all, in fact you have no concept of it at all because you’ve never felt it. I sincerely hope you’re a troll.

                    And by the way, medicine beats cancer. Not people “telling their bodies to not be sick,” dumbass.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      January 3, 2014 at 3:48 PM #

                      Writing in caps is me venting because of people like you. We are all human. I can judge whoever the ***K I want because I feel that as a member of the same species I have that authority. Not to mention, I know people with depression. I am aware the medicine defeats cancer but I thought people had the sense to connect the dots without me spelling it out for them. DO I REALLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN. Go ask any doctor he will tell you that a patient’s mentality is a crucial factor in their recovery and in many cases it has been THE deciding factor. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT I WAS SAYING WASN’T THAT PEOPLE WITH CANCER MAGICALLY CURE THEMSELVES BUT THAT WITH THE HELP OF THERAPY THEY BEAT CANCER WITH THEIR WILL POWER; HAD THEY NOT BEEN THE STRONG PERSON THAT THEY ARE, HAD THEY BEEN A LAZY, *********, ****** LIKE YOU, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE MADE IT. Studies have shown that your cells begin to decay the moment you utterly give in to death. I don’t have to understand depression, which btw I do, to know that beating it cannot possibly compare to beating cancer. Yet, people with depression whine twice as much. I’m saying the brain has such an effect on PHYSICAL inflictions, then it has an infinitely more powerful effect on mental afflictions(if you could even refer to it as an affliction seeing as it is mostly self-inflicted).

                      Depression makes me angry because for it to happen you have to embrace it. You have to foster it. YOU have to allow it in. And that’s exactly what you do and then you come back wondering why you want to kill yourself. It’s so f**king strange that you always thought like a retard for a lifetime and suddenly you have this inexplicable urge to kill yourself. YOU KNOW IT’S WEIRD, I’VE BEEN THINKING LIKE A PESSIMISTIC RETARDED MAGGOT FOR 19 YEARS AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON I SUDDENLY HAVE THE URGE TO KILL MYSELF. I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT. ALL I DID WAS TREAT MY BRAIN LIKE A PUNCHING BAG I DONT UNDERSTAND. Depression also makes me angry because you have to be real scum to take a human life regardless of whom it belongs to. THATS WHY IM TYPING IN CAPS

                    • elvis
                      January 16, 2014 at 8:24 PM #

                      knock on wood bokuno that you never have anything seriously wrong with you that exceeds modern medicine or a family member or would you be in a position to deliver the news that an individual perhaps a father/brother/son/husband has a terminal disease you are going to tell the family that it is all in a mental malfunction. Furthermore, you are not an authority nor even a neophyte to the subject which you speak why not leave the conjecture to the people that actually conduct research and orient meta-analytic analysis.

                    • Bokuno sururu
                      January 17, 2014 at 4:50 AM #

                      Do you see how you word it? The way you make it sound like it’s COMPLETELY out of your power and there is absolutely nothing you can do. Why is it that people with depression emphasis so much and cling on so dearly to the idea that it is out of their power to do anything? Why is it that someone with an ACTUALLY terminal illness will fight and do everything in their power to live while ignoring everyone that says it’s terminal while someone with depression automatically decides that it just is out of their power?
                      I’m on just as much of an authority as you are. Maybe even more because I have actually examined the topic objectively from multiple points of view while you are bias.

                    • annoyedatthispost
                      February 12, 2014 at 9:28 AM #

                      Why are people hating on depression and depressed people if they haven’t felt it themselves? You can’t judge a fucking soul unless you’ve been in their shoes. Yes, maybe being depressed is a selfish choice to believe negative thoughts: but how do you know if you haven’t experienced it? All haters can fuck off, in my opinion.

                    • Estaban Haroon
                      February 12, 2014 at 2:46 PM #

                      Nearly everyone has faced depression in their lives. Some people just wallow in it more than others and that’s what the ‘illness’ is. And I say illness in the same way alcoholism is referred to as an illness. They say that to you in therapy and everyone pretends like it was out of their power but everyone knows it’s your own fucking fault for being an alcoholic. I understand now why you have to pretend like it’s not your own doing because the second you do you the illness is no longer there, it just becomes a shitty habit that you never got rid of and that makes all the ‘suffering’ you’ve been through invalid which it is. I don’t feel superior to people with depression I just feel like they’re dicks. Cos it’s not about fighting or power it’s about choices and values. Just because I don’t have depression doesn’t mean I’m better than you, it just means I’m less of an asshole than you in a certain aspect BECAUSE LET ME YOU I AM AN ASSHOLE IN MANY OTHER ASPECTS. I call people with depression idiots because they need to see how fucking demented they are. Im just trying to hold up a giant mirror in your demented fucking depressed ass face just to show you the shitty person you chose(and continue to chose) to become.

                    • elli adkins
                      February 14, 2014 at 5:11 AM #

                      Take a psychology course, look up placebo effect, open your mind.

                    • Kity
                      March 11, 2014 at 8:36 AM #

                      Hi Ro :D I know this is way after the date but welcome to the internet, where the stupidity in human is exposed. Internet debates always get way out of control and it almost impossible to have any kind of rational debate. Try and remember that people who comment very negatively on posts often have mental health problems and at the very least self-esteem issues. Just smile and know that in the real world, 90% of people are supporting you. :)

                    • Natalie
                      March 15, 2014 at 7:29 AM #

                      On the other hand, those who are depressed usually have no idea what they’re doing to those around them. Come on, everybody’s world is allowed to revolve around them. Depressed people don’t have a right to use the resources of others. Usually this happens when guilt is used.

                    • Calum Bliss
                      April 1, 2014 at 9:44 AM #

                      @Estaban. Everyone has experienced sadness. Depression is completely different.

                    • divya
                      April 3, 2014 at 9:50 AM #

                      way to go ro! (y)

                    • peetookhete
                      April 4, 2014 at 4:47 PM #

                      To Estaban Haroon.

                      “I don’t feel superior to people with depression I just feel like they’re dicks.”

                      Therefore you are either the same or inferior. So, you are either a dick or worse than a dick.

                  • Hithier Texidor
                    January 16, 2014 at 6:26 PM #

                    Explain to me how a person who was raised like shit their whole entire lives can simply learn how to think positive thoughts? You’re just an ignorant piece of fucking garbage that deserves no type of recognition whatsoever. Saying somebody can not be depressed because some shy has it worse is like saying you can’t be happy because somebody is happier. How about the people who are bullied then? The people who were raped? The people who seen their friends or family get killed? Or they pathetic for being depressed? Are they? You guys disgusts me. Oh god. You can’t be human. I honestly feel like throwing up. It’s hard to believe that people like you exist. How can you attack depressed people with such pathetic reasons? Close-minded ignoramus fools are what all of you who agree with this sorry excuse for a human. His premises were because of miniscal reasons. Also, he doesn’t seem to understand that everyone has their mind and emotions programmed differently. Fuck you!

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      January 17, 2014 at 4:40 AM #

                      A person raised like shit their whole entire lives can learn to think positive thoughts the same way a person raised in a wonderful, nourishing, environment can learn to kill and rape or even be depressed. The minute you give in to your surroundings YOU become less than human. Being human is being conscious and making choices that YOU alone are responsible for. No one and nothing can MAKE you do or think anything, you can only be influenced. I mentioned people having it 10 times worse to put life in perspective because people with depression tend to have a narrow view of the world and MAYBE, if they begin to see that their date cancelling on them is not QUITE as bad as living in the streets or the desert, they can begin to see how much they blow their tiny problems out of fucking proportion. I know people who have had it FAR worse than just a ‘verbally abusive parent’ or a less than successful ‘love life’ that grew up to be something better than you or I. You are fucking human and you can make whatever you want of yourself and if you CHOOSE to immerse yourself in your own broken way of thinking that you don’t care to let go of then that’s YOUR call. I’m not close-minded, YOU ARE. I’ve seen it from your point of view a hundred times but YOU didn’t for one second try to truly see things the way they are.
                      I didn’t say fucking everyone with cancer is magically cured because they’re strong willed. I’m saying that in some cases the KEY FACTOR to the patient’s recovery was their sheer will to live. Not fucking everything is black and white and that’s another example of your narrow-mindedness. Instead of seeing that as an example of just how much power human will can have you decided to criticize the fact that most people don’t recover from cancer that way. You completely denied it without giving it second thought or trying to see what I was trying to say and I think that makes you more narrow-minded that I am. We all have our own brains and each one is different and special but all of them have the potential to be everything we want them to be and more. I will not stand here and let you debase what it means to be human with your narrow-mindedness and lack of will. WE decide who we are and what we do. If your family was murdered you can either grief for a while and deal with the pain and move on, live in denial for the rest of your life, or just immerse yourself in the grief until you want to kill the pathetic excuse for a human that you are. It would be YOUR CALL.

                    • divya
                      April 3, 2014 at 9:58 AM #

                      i so agree with u! such ruthless assholes! one even brought up cancer in this discussion! i mean can u believe it ! hah! depression effects the brain! one looses control over his thinking ability or the ability to make decisions! cancer doe not do that plus ony by ur thoughts ..nothing really can be cured without medication! such oblivious fools! the article completely pissed me off!

                    • Gurkiran
                      April 30, 2014 at 3:32 AM #

                      This is a very hard, controversial thing to talk about, and no one will ever get round to the real reason unless you’re prepared to eradicate it.
                      Depression.. well… Some of us don’t know if we have it, so we can’t get much recognition? How do we know if we don’t seek help? When you’re feeling at your lowest point, you don’t seek for help do you. Some people seek or wallow in pity, afraid to speak up for themselves.
                      As being said everything we speak about in life is very controversial. For example I can’t say depression doesn’t exist, but I’m convinced that I have had some sort of slump in my life. We all go through phases. It’s just molly coddled. It’s emphasised too much. We don’t speak to each other in a good manner, shit happens to us and we just wallow. We don’t talk. When you don’t feed yourself and you stop talking to people, you fall into ruts and then you wonder why you’re feeling this way. I’ve been there so I know. Depression isn’t selfish just like suicide isn’t selfish. Suicide was there because we let it get to us – from a young age we’re more prone to be vulnerable and less efficient.
                      So overall, judging by this blog, I need enough evidence and back up to suggest that depression is selfish.

                    • LogicOverEmotions
                      July 9, 2014 at 12:45 AM #

                      You are calling us close minded ignorant fools because we agree with an intelligent writer? People in third world countries deal with Rape and dead family constantly, they are not raised well, and guess what, they are still not depressed; as the writer said, they do not have time to mope about feeling sorry for themselves. You clearly missed the entire point of this article. Not everyone has emotions programmed differently, we are all humans (sadly). You do not seem to understand that the use of profanity and angry tone in your response reveals to the average person that you are not qualified in anyway to respond correctly to this article. You should simply keep your silly thoughts to yourself.

                    • Susan Lea Rudd
                      July 9, 2014 at 7:10 AM #

                      Toma was the one who as a non-qualified, ignorant fool proceeded to write an article insulting and degrading depressed people. He nullifys scientific research as if he is some sort of god. He deserves every foul comment he got.

                      Who says poor people and/or natives or people long ago don’t/ didn’t get depressed??? Just because no one is researching or writing about it doesn’t mean it didn’t/isn’t happening. Actually there is much evidence people did have mental illness – but I am sure Toma would dismiss it.

                      Many religious people want to believe that life was soooooo much better during some long ago time – which is simply BS. Yes there were fewer divorces 50 years ago; people just stayed miserably married. Once women gained rights and economic power, they had the means to support themselves and dump abusive jackasses. More women than men initiate divorce. Could it be because men are unreasonable toads that have refused to change with the times? Could this be why rates of depression are higher in women (always)?

                  • elvis
                    January 16, 2014 at 8:00 PM #

                    juan laguerta you are amazing i guess by your estimation and logic everyone that dies of cancer just gave in and conceeded to cancer. you are a moron no more could a person decide to be taller than decide to beat cancer or not have depression…why would anyone decide to have depression…i understand that you are frustrated and therefor use capitalization improperly either address a genuine topic with genuine points or fuck off. You are a piece of shit and if you and i lived close together fuck all this internet stuff i would beat the living shit out of you you ignorant small minded piece of shit.

                    • Natalie
                      March 15, 2014 at 7:35 AM #

                      Instead of attacking Juan for expressing a valid opinion, have you tried looking at the validating support you’ve received so far? I don’t agree with either because life is way too complicated, and honestly, why our opinions on this matters beats me. There are so many different types of people and just too much intolerance and validation-seeking.

                    • Beth Mastrodonato
                      June 14, 2014 at 10:48 AM #

                      does anyone know who this jerk Natalie is really–she has a lot of arguments to blow anyone out of the water who disagrees with TOMa…so is it him or his mother, sister or girlfriend or his disciple or what..look thru and see her postings. You may need a bag to throw up in

                  • Craig
                    February 22, 2014 at 12:35 PM #

                    Your level of ignorance needs not to be addressed as it’s obviously through the roof. And your intellect needs not to be addressed, as one can clearly see by not only your perspective but your grammar and your choice of language, that your level of education and IQ are well obviously lacking. So, I guess all of that being said; there is nothing really to be addressed… ;)

                    • Natalie
                      March 15, 2014 at 7:32 AM #

                      I can see where you’re coming from, Craig, but I can also see where Ro is coming from. How about not attacking someone for having a different opinion from the masses? I’m sure it gets frustrating for Ro. You have a ton of support here, so just try enjoy it and feel validated in your view.

                    • dan
                      March 21, 2014 at 7:43 AM #

                      At craig . Pure and sweet . Nothing else needs to be said

                  • Joe Crowley
                    February 26, 2014 at 4:52 AM #

                    ironically it seems as if you’ve just acted on a very judgmental and close-minded impulse yourself. You really need to consider other people’s lives more realistically without your opinion being clouded by your own biases. Like your clear jealousy towards people who have more money than you. It was not my choice for my father to die, it was not my choice for my mother to be mentally disabled, it was not my choice to be abused physically and verbally for years in my own home by my family. It’s not my fault my family never had any money. It is not my fault that I have a tendency to think down on myself, though I know better, and luckily for me I don’t HAVE to be depressed about such things. But I have grown much and am not as fortunate as other people with even worse lives than me.

                    • Natalie
                      March 15, 2014 at 7:39 AM #

                      so much yes

                  • sharille fournier
                    March 4, 2014 at 1:59 AM #

                    i have to say you are an idiot Juan Laguerta. You also obviously do not have a command of the English language because the F work seems to be used for everything. Telling someone who is obviously ill and desperate to jump off a balcony is irresponsible. Get a life and stop swearing and using capitals to state your case. You can’t judge until you live in someone else’s shoes and this man’s article is ridiculous.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      March 4, 2014 at 2:53 PM #

                      Is this seriously your rebuttal? “you suck, you dont know what its like until youve been there, just cos someone wants to kill themselves doesnt make them irresponsible”. Good job. Good job. Very nice. You told me.

                    • Natalie
                      March 15, 2014 at 7:43 AM #

                      Let me see if I have this right…so you deserve validating support for your clearly biased opinion and any possible personality disorder(s) while Juan deserves to be be called names? Hmm..

                    • mickey
                      April 28, 2014 at 12:28 PM #

                      Juan, you are a very scared person, frightened of losing control- very obvious. thinking positively is a state of mind- do you know what that means? it is TAUGHT. when one is taught to hate themselves, when they are horrendously abused, when they are SOLD into slavery, how exactly do you think they can wake up one day and say “oh gee, I will just fart rainbows and sunshine” cause I just feel like it! there are many people out there who have had no direction in life, who were never cared for. you are obviously VERY sheltered- you also need to expand your mind with education- read a book. actually read a lot, you need it.

                  • what was that
                    March 7, 2014 at 1:57 AM #

                    Yes because clearly you know the ins and outs of medical depression. Lets not even get into manic depression here shall we because if I started that you would be wrong on every assertion. Depression is not something you simply choose to have or not have in the end if it is real depression your body does not have the chemicals to generate these oh so positive emotions that you like so much. Why dont you provide me some cited proof on a few things along with a detailed medical examination on how depression is all in the head. As for making choices to do things how about you consider that choices are nothing more then little tiny things that happen in your brain that accumulate to make said choice.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      March 7, 2014 at 8:48 AM #

                      I won’t give you jack shit. In the mean time enjoy wallowing in your own pathetic self pity with the nice little excuse you’ve conjured up because that’s what you want. Clearly you’re not interested in changing the way you think, all you’re interested in is making your current shitty state of mind OK to have. You’re not interested in changing because if you were truly interested in changing you wouldn’t have depression in the first place. You’re like a drug addict that’s out telling people that drugs are actually ok rather than facing his own damn shitty choices and just not doing the fucking drugs. Enjoy. Don’t let me take depression away from you because that’s clearly all you’ve got seeing how dearly you cling on to it.

                    • Cat
                      March 25, 2014 at 6:25 AM #

                      As someone who’s chronically depressed, comes in waves, thoughts of suicide.. I think I’m selfish. I have so much to live for, I have so many opportunities. I’m young. Sure my dad was an alcoholic, I watched him abuse my mom my whole life, I was somewhat of a druggie in high school, I dropped out, my sister fucked my boyfriend lol.. I really fucked things up for myself because I spent most of my time sitting in the closet and crying about how fucked up the world is and how fucked up my life is. Feeling bad for myself all of the time. I knew I was selfish at the time too. And over the years of trying to fight this, I’ve noticed that all I have to do is do my laundry and clean my room to feel a bit better. Paint and write, push myself out of the house in the morning just because I know the sun will be good for my Psyche. Sometimes I feel like I have no feelings and it scares me, and then i get depressed x) sometimes I get depressed because I’m selfish, and I’m selfish because I’m depressed lol it’s a ridiculous cycle, and I’m tired of being selfish, I’m tired of being depressed. I know that it’s not rational, I will always be able to find something to be sad about. I’m selfish as all hell. I could be making something of myself to make the world I constantly cry about a bit better. I can be happy, I just have to make it happen for myself. I believe that this thought process that I’ve become stuck in is a habit and that I can free myself of it by simply being productive and being a “good parent to myself” as my mother likes to say (: but yeah, stop fighting. Reading this I just see so much repressed anger lol love will cure everyone of their diseases, at least that’s what I hope.. You won’t know until you try

                    • Cat
                      March 25, 2014 at 6:36 AM #

                      Also.. I kind of really believe that we have the power to influence our physical state with our state of mind, I’m no expert on any of this so this is really just an opinion based on observation.. My mom and my dad are supposedly manic depressives, and I can definitely see how that’s true x) I also think they’re selfish.. And deeply interesting people. I love them to death don’t get me wrong. Anyway, my mom was on anti-depressants, she isn’t anymore, they helped but she was neurotic. Too much energy, it was fake. When she didn’t have them she was a mess. Worse than before she started. I couldn’t get her out of bed for a month. She was addicted and couldn’t function without them. My dad is a citizen but Mexican, he also “needed” to get prescribed some anti-depressants. They used him as a guinea pig. It was bad. Too much of this, take some of that, try some of this, take more of that. They were sucking them dry financially. I believe that they want us to believe that it’s a disease because this society that we live in is concerned about profitability, not their patients. If we believe that we’re sick and that the pills will take away the sadness then we’ll spend as much money as we can to make that happen. We work, we get our wage, we spend it on happy pills, repeat the process.. We become zombies/automatons for the system focused on expansion and profit. I’m probably biased and missing a lot of the pieces to the puzzle but this is what I’ve gathered. I will find a way to be happy without the help of drugs of any sort. Sunshine and productivity is my medicine.

                    • Toma
                      March 25, 2014 at 6:59 AM #

                      You’ve understood more than enough. Pharmaceutical companies want us hooked. Anti-depressants and anti-psychotics are perfect for them as we take them daily, and indefinitely. It’s not a conspiracy theory. It’s business logic.

                    • Cat
                      March 25, 2014 at 7:58 AM #

                      I have one more thing to add, it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Just because someone has it worse doesn’t mean you have to write off the pain that you do feel because that’s not going to help at all. It’s good to recognize that you are not the only one that pains in life, but it’s also good to give your own pain recognition and accept that it’s there, you have to be able to comfort yourself before you move on. Like my mom said, you have to be a good parent to yourself. The trick is not getting stuck in a loop of negative thoughts. That happens to me, I’ll hurt and then there will be this voice that says REALLY awful things about me to me. It physically struck me down once, it was terrifying. And I realized that I gave that negative voice too much power. There will always be a negative voice, everybody has one. But there’s also a positive one that you need to listen to. Balance is difficult, but it is key to remaining sane and functional. You have to let the negative voice be constructive criticism instead of just cruel. We all have flaws, if you embrace them the negative voice won’t have much to go on.

                    • Cat
                      March 25, 2014 at 8:15 AM #

                      I think people are also forgetting the fact that it’s systemic. I blame it on capitalism x) This is an individualistic society, everyone is very involved in themselves. And then the media, wanting to make profit of course, objectifies the individual to sell corporate products. We all have this image of what we should be. Girls get depressed because they’re not skinny, they don’t have that “thigh gap” or perky boobs, boys get depressed because they don’t have abs or a big cock. We have all of these ideas of what we should be and we don’t embrace what we are. It feeds that negative voice. And our school system, starting from when we are very young, encourage us to be “The Best” and we end up constantly comparing ourselves to each other. As a society we have become selfish. Depression and suicide rates have skyrocketed if nobody has noticed lol the link between suicide and capitalism? There’s something to think about.

                    • divya
                      April 3, 2014 at 10:03 AM #

                      thank u!

                    • Pete
                      April 4, 2014 at 5:12 PM #

                      @juan laguerta,

                      In the last decade, about 100,000 U.S. veterans and active duty military personnel have committed suicide.

                      By your account they must be a bunch of pussies, right?

                    • Toma
                      April 4, 2014 at 5:16 PM #

                      Hi Pete. Shit no. I actually wrote a post about PTSD after a war veteran commented on this article.


                  • Maple
                    March 18, 2014 at 1:51 AM #

                    Okay, Juan, I can see where you’re coming from – to a degree. I can see how you think depression is selfish and pathetic. You look at a depressed person and probably think/say, “Grow a pair and stop bitching.”

                    But has it ever occurred to you – any of you that think its selfish – that depressed people do not know that they’re depressed? It’s not until someone drags them in to see a doctor or therapist that they know – and even then some live in denial!

                    Or has it ever occurred to you that that depressed person has a little voice in their head feeding them negative lies? The voice distorts their perception of the world over time, rendering it so that they can no longer see happiness.

                    Yes, people who come from broken homes and have gotten abused can make something out of their life. But the chances of them falling into depression increase. Why? Think of it this way: All your life – ever since you can remember – you’ve been put down and compared and been called degrading names. Or been physically/sexually abused. Ever since you can remember, no one in your home cares for you. You’ve been neglected. This gives life to three viewpoints: To some, it breeds hate and thus leads them into violence and gangs. Others, they take from that experience and use it to change the world for the better. And the third way is falling into self-loathing and/or depression.

                    Let’s focus on the third one, shall we?

                    Your personality and mentality sprouts from how you are raised and the people you hang out with. If you come from a broken home where everyday someone puts you down, you’d start to believe it eventually. Why? Because that was how you were raised. You were raised to believe that you’re a piece of shit and no one wants you. Thoughts start to form in your head – dangerous thoughts – and soon you feel your world crumbling. The brain, due to having it in that mind-set, distorts your world to only see the negative. To only think the negative. And if that’s how you’re raised, you don’t see the problem.

                    So you’re already in this depressed mind-set when someone comes up to you and says, “You’re selfish.”

                    BAM! That comment only fuels the negative thoughts, which in turn fuels the distorted world, which then fuels the depression. Only you don’t know you’ve got depression because those thoughts have been there for as long as you can remember.

                    Slowly your world gets darker and you start to feel hopeless and numb. Some might turn to cutting just to feel alive. “Attention whore! Desperate bitch! You’re so emo!” People exclaim upon noticing what you’re doing.

                    More fuel for the blue flame.

                    Eventually you just don’t see the point of living anymore. ‘What’s the point?’ You think. ‘If this is my life, what’s the point?’ And that’s when you decide upon suicide.

                    Do you see now, Juan? Do you see what these people are going through? They can’t help it. Calling them selfish isn’t the way to go. Usually when people are depressed, they have more problems than just a stood-up date. That stood-up date could have just been the straw that broke the camel’s back and triggered the depression.

                    Just because your problems aren’t as big as someone else’s, it doesn’t make them insignificant.

                  • maria
                    March 20, 2014 at 1:16 PM #

                    juan laguerta, you don’t even know how depressed you are, for even make the comment you made

                    • Natalie
                      March 21, 2014 at 2:30 AM #

                      The depressed like to bring others into their misery, too. As satisfying as it might be to you, Juan is not depressed by his comment.

                      You and all the other selfish crybabies here expect agreement – of course he’s frustrated.

                    • i don't get the point
                      June 8, 2014 at 12:51 PM #

                      depressed people don’t like to bring other to misery , in fact we don’t want other people to know, and that’s a huge problem. I never told anyone about it, answering only “i’m fine” , “it’s okay, i just got a bad sleep night”. The psychology is the only guy i ever told about it. Why would i make other people suffer for something they cleary can’t do anything ? People around would only look at me as “illness and sad”, and worry.

                  • Yara
                    March 23, 2014 at 2:26 PM #

                    Reading this reminded me of the lack of empathy in society today. You are a shinning example of ignorance. You’re argument about cancer confuses me. If you believe people beat cancer because they told their body too, what about those who don’t? Also, material wealth has nothing to do with depression, ever heard the phrase money can’t buy you happiness? The reason some people idolize depression is because sadness is the feeling they connect to, it consumes them, and yes, its a cycle thats hard to get out of. Truth is, you are a very politically incorrect individual, words like “retard” are demeaning. No body grows up wanting to die, its the events in life that make us that way. Can you really look at a rape victim, or a severely bullied individual in the eye and tell them that it’s their fault? I understand the value to resilence, but one person can only take so much. Educate yourself.

                    • anon
                      April 1, 2014 at 4:19 PM #

                      Natalie , youre bringing everyone down with your own misery . youre a judgemental selfish person who doesnt know anything . Youre a big fat hypocrite to sit there and judge others. Youre no doctor . Maybe someday you’ll get depressed and no one understands your pain . Karma.

                    • Natalie
                      April 1, 2014 at 11:14 PM #

                      To anon below, I’m not miserable, and I can’t say I don’t know anything. But maybe you’re right that I’ll get depressed and no one will understand you. I’m OK with that.

                    • Natalie
                      April 1, 2014 at 11:19 PM #

                      And when guilt doesn’t work…name-calling and minimizing the dissenter is the new game plan, apparently.

                      I guess the truly depressed (apparently something I’ve never experienced) want full support to wallow in their misery instead of seeing a new point of view. We already knew that.

                  • Shamuel
                    March 25, 2014 at 3:04 PM #

                    Wow. I have a lot to say about you laguerta. First of keep this argument kind. Don’t blame or insult others, but just express your opinion. I’m going to do that right now. I think that it is not your fault that something happened that makes you sad. It is cruel to call people suffering with sadness the cause and to make them feel guilty by blaming them. Life happens and it is how everyone deals with it. It sounds like those who think sadness is selfish hasn’t experienced sadness first hand or just doesn’t understand what it means. Don’t go making opinions about other people without knowing yourself. This is just my opinion after all and anyone can agree or disagree with me as they choose. But please don’t be cruel and insult and blame others.

                  • Shannon
                    March 28, 2014 at 7:44 PM #

                    I would much rather be someone who goes through depressive phases, than be a hateful, angry creature like you. Yes, sometimes I am depressed- but I don’t think I’m a horrible human being because of it. If you are going to go on a rant on ungrateful people who don’t contribute to society, why are you sitting on a computer pointlessly arguing about a topic that will never be resolved? Why don’t you go do some good in the world like helping feed starving children in poverty stricken countries, or provide clean water sources for those communities. Doesn’t the thought of them and the thought of you living so lavishly make you look pathetic and demented as well? Perspective, my friend. You know nothing of the minds of others, as I know nothing of yours. You have never experienced anything outside of your own consciousness. Whatever has influenced you in your life and helped create these ideals has not done so to the rest of ours. We all see and understand and perceive things differently.

                  • olivia
                    April 5, 2014 at 3:30 AM #

                    Having suffered from both cancer and depression at 16, I can tell you that depression is a shit load harder to both deal with and overcome. Yes people with terminal cancer don’t overcome their illness, but many do become depressed because of this. Please don’t be so ignorant.

                  • Cheryl
                    April 5, 2014 at 9:59 AM #

                    Ok, this is so ridiculous. Depression is not about will power. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. When you feel certain feelings and believe certain things it is your brain releasing chemicals. Your hormones alone rule a great deal of how you feel. That is why people can get in an accident, have brain trauma and have a whole portion of their personality change. If you feel like you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps, then by all means go ahead but, be grateful that you have the balance of health to do so. DO NOT put another down for not being able to. THAT IS SELFISH. It is a medical situation. Not willpower. This musing over how we feel people should act cause “in our experience” they’ve exhausted our good graces, is ridiculous. You can tell a schizophrenic to stop hearing voices but, it’s just not gonna happen. EVEN if it bothers your precious senses. Clinically depressed people need medical help. What they don’t need is people like you making it even harder. I would say your anger and lack of compassion is more of an issue.

                  • Johnathan Murphy
                    April 7, 2014 at 6:52 AM #

                    Juan Laguerta you are stupid. You are also using caps lock like a 5 year old and cussing like a 12 year old. BTW your “cussing, negative opinion” is not wanted I didnt even finish reading your comment you stupid person. Go caps lock on a video game and cuss and the teens because your brain is obviously on the same track as a stupid teen.

                  • Mike Wade
                    April 11, 2014 at 4:50 AM #

                    Juan. I feel for you. People are being pretty hard on you even though someone close to you obviously committed suicide. I have always had a great life and I am a dick and I am bipolar. I like this article because it started a discussion. If you want someone to talk to I will send you my twitter ID.

                    I wish there was more conversation and less stigma about mental illness. With education I may have recognized symptoms and could have been able to take this articles advice to prevent a depression.

                    My grandma had cancer and the family talked about it and supported her and I had never seen her happier… Probably because she was sckitzophrink. Think it’s hard to spell, it is harder to understand. I didn’t want to talk to her because I she was usually laying on the couch. My dad is diagnosed bipolar but has the stigma and won’t take medication. (Wish he would). I didn’t hear about their diagnosis until I had a manic episode.

                    I have been clean and sober of any events for 6 years. I take very little medication with the goal of getting off completely.

                    All I know is nobody knows what is happening with bipolar.

                    It’s think it’s like being gay because it is not a choice. Juan, you can have your opinions from what you have read and experience. You might be the one person who has the right answer (probably not).

                    Let’s keep talking about it and use all the science available to us to better understand.

                    If you want to twit about it my comments won’t be able to be this long.

                  • Julia
                    April 20, 2014 at 10:42 AM #

                    By your logic, people who suffer from depression do not have the right to be depressed because other people have it worse. Does this mean if I know other people have a better life then me (they found love, they have a better functioning family) does this take away my rights to be happy?

                    And to adress the point of your paper. I understand why you feel like people who suffer from depression should just get “over it”, however I think that you are not acknowledging that depression is not just feeling sad.
                    It takes a mental and physical hold on you. I would like you to take 5 minutes (since you claim to be so open-minded) to read the article to which I will provide the link to at the bottom. It is published by Harvard Health Publications, so you can trust what it says…
                    A depressed person will not “act on every impulse” and completely lack will power. When depressed, a person will have good moments, and moments when they feel like they should stop fighting the bad thoughts. When we say “depression is a constant fight” we mean the constant struggle to fight the “own bullsh*t”. When not having been happy for several weeks/months/years, people often stop fighting, as it is exhausting on the mind. Try to go through an entire day having to completely change the way you see things. Then keep this new way to view things for several days, then weeks until you believe it. Or maybe try to “make yourself” feel pride and happiness when you loose in a competition. It’s not easy. I do not want to compare depression to cancer, as both are terrible illnesses and take too many lives, but they are just too different. they are completely different illnesses, and it’s like comparing your mind to your heart. Both vital organs, but they function completely different. Depression takes a hold on people for years, and it takes away so many things in their lives. Just because there are no physical symptoms, it does not mean that it is not a serious issue.
                    Also, I would like to point out to you that even though I understand your point of view, I find the way that you are trying to prove your point across is very disrespectful, rude and offensive. Telling people who are already at a very high risk of self harm to “jump off a bridge, because (they are) pricks” shows an unbelievable amount of lack of responsibility.
                    I believe that depression forms somewhere along the lines of society and how we treat people within society. People who are already mis-treated by family, friends or people within their environment are already feeling bad enough about themselves. When they read such things as you have written in this article, it destroys them to have a complete stranger hate them.
                    mental disorders are such a serious concern, because they often have no physical symptoms and are so easy to hide. When people who suffer from un-diagnosed depression will read this, they will not go to seek help. They will think that it’s all their fault and essentially, that is exactly what depression is. It is taking the fault for everything upon yourself, even if you rationally know, it’s not your fault.
                    Depression is not what you see in Hollywood movies. It is not having a lot of friends around you to help you through it. It is not to be discovered just as you’re about to commit suicide. It is not magically finding that one person who will cause you to stop self harming.
                    Depression is ugly. It is the constant feeling of being disappointed in yourself. It is the constant isolation. It is the constant pain. The casual relieve from pain by feeling completely empty. It is how scared one gets when they want to self harm. It is how scared one gets when they don’t feel anything. It is the constant staying up at night, being scared of the next day. How scary it is when depression causes eating disorders. It is how anxious one gets when they have to go outside. It is how challenging daily tasks get. It is the constant exhaustion.
                    Depression is nothing that people would want to have. If all one had to do to cure depression was to think of something happy, it wouldn’t be a serious issue.
                    You should look into some other abnormal-psychology topics. I’m curious on your opinion on other mood disorders.

                    Here is the article I said I would attach
                    I hope you take some of these things into consideration, and reply to me how you feel about what I said without cursing at me or comparing depression to other sicknesses.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      April 21, 2014 at 7:15 AM #

                      I appreciate your effort to be calm and objective so I’ll try to match it.
                      Everything in the article is basic psychology. It could have been written by a first year psychology student. With that in mind, another fact that first year psych students know is that psychologist still don’t know which is cause and which is effect. They still can’t say for sure if the neurotransmitters and chemicals cause depression or if depression causes the neurotransmitters to adapt and act the way they do. A lot of things can be measured and quantified using instruments and science but that doesn’t mean that they’re real. When you lie, a lie detector detects that you’re lying, but that doesn’t mean a lie is a real thing. A lie is an abstract concept that we created and the lie detector can only detect that you are nervous because YOU know you’re lying. There’s no hard scientific ground for either side of the depression argument so people with depression can still pretend that it’s out of their hands and people like me can still claim that it is not.
                      I still think I’m right because I’ve seen what a human can do with pure will power and overcoming negative thoughts is nothing in comparison. Being human IS the constant struggle and change. You have to always try and better yourself and always be on the lookout for the flaws that you’ve got and it never ends because no one is perfect and no one can ever be.
                      If people spend years fighting depression with no result then that means that they’re just not fighting hard enough or their brain is broken at this point which means they need to be drugged up big time and the former is FAR more likely than the latter.

                  • lisa
                    April 28, 2014 at 11:59 AM #

                    go suck it…and die

                  • sara
                    April 28, 2014 at 12:22 PM #

                    you are an absolute mental case Juan- how about using some of that “power of the mind” garbage to cure your ranting and raving. sometimes things are terminal- no matter how much sunshine someone shoots up their ass they cant be saved- period. it must be frightening to you to think you have no control over something and that is exactly what you are relaying so translucently in your raving caps all message- you are scared of being out of control this is GLARINGLY obvious. you have a problem- get some help.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      April 28, 2014 at 1:26 PM #

                      Way off the mark, Sara. It would be really fucking easy to sway anyway the wind blows. It’s how kids work. I don’t have a pathological need for control; a life without control is an easy life, a life where everyone makes your choices for you and you don’t govern your own damn emotions and cognition. But I recognize that as a human it falls under my responsibility to take control of at least what lies WITHIN MY OWN GODDAMN HEAD. Don’t give me stuff about depression being out of your power or chemicals or fucking satan coming down and taking a malicious dump in your cerebral cortex I don’t care I’m just letting you know I don’t desire control because I lack it; I only recognize self-control as an attribute of BEING HUMAN and also recognize that I should take care to enforce it the same way I take care to throw out my garbage every once in a while because logic dictates that if I don’t, it’ll pile up.

                      AND HEY
                      POEPLE WITH DEPRESSION.
                      “Only SOME of the things are going according to plan and not EVERYBODY likes me and that’s not how I would have things go so I guess I should kill myself.”
                      K, SARA?

                  • Meg
                    April 29, 2014 at 7:10 AM #

                    Someone is a little angry. Watch out, anger and depression can go hand in hand, neither is good, both dangerous…

                  • leni
                    May 7, 2014 at 4:34 AM #

                    Did you really just say to jump off a balcony? That’s an assistance in suicide. You’ve got to be fucking stupid. If i go kill myself because you told me to, that’s my blood on your hands. How would that make you feel? Knowing you were involved in my suicide? I hope that makes you feel like complete shit. Go to hell.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      May 7, 2014 at 5:03 PM #

                      If your life means nothing to you why should it mean anything to me
                      That’s not my stance on the matter because every life actually matters but it’s still a valid argument

                    • Toma
                      May 7, 2014 at 5:10 PM #

                      On this one I must disagree. How important we consider our life to be is a subjective assessment. We need to strive for truth and objectivity. Objectively, no matter what we think, our life is more valuable than any of God’s non-spiritual creations. As we must seek to emulate truth and the nature that Jesus showed us, your life means the world to me, no matter what it means to you, and so mine must mean the world to you. This is love.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      May 8, 2014 at 12:54 PM #

                      All life is valuable, yes
                      Objectively, even an inanimate object has value so a LIFE should be worth infinitely more
                      I was goin for a little reverse psychology

                    • Artemis
                      June 27, 2014 at 5:46 AM #

                      If you go kill yourself because someone told you to, you’re responsible.

                      Someone else can only hurt you emotionally if you allow them to. If you hear Juan’s words and the insecure voice in your head reinforces what he’s said, your emotional hurt is your fault. You acted on what you believed to be true.

                      If you practiced teaching the voice in your head to be strong, to be confident, your reaction to Juan’s insult would be to immediately disagree, because within your frame of mind, he’d be wrong. And then you probably wouldn’t go kill yourself.

                      Our choices are just that. Ours.

                  • Courtney
                    May 8, 2014 at 10:43 AM #

                    Just saying not every is depressed because of themselves and their own problems. I am depressed because of my friends and i see there problems and there is nothing i can do to help tem. I see there problems and i get stressed out because i dont know what to tell them and im scared they are going to get hurt and dont just say that its because i stress too much because i know thats why but i dont know how to stop stressing so thats why i am depressed not because the only thing i think about is myself and because i am a selfish asshole. And just saying, i dont have an expensve balcony to jump off of.

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      May 8, 2014 at 12:50 PM #

                      I didn’t particularly advocate the notion that depression is selfish; It often is but all I’m saying is that depression is your fault, not anybody else’s. You for example get to pretend like it’s a result of your selflessness, when in reality all it is is that you’re too far up your own ass. You think you can control everybody. You need to get over yourself just as every other depression “victim” needs to get over themselves. And really, if you think about it, no one who is actually selfless could ever be diagnosed with depression because they wouldn’t even pay enough attention to themselves to harbor negativity, let alone notice that they have depression and consider self harm. You imitating the stress of your friends is just another way for you to feed your addiction for demented thoughts that your twisted brain has gown accustomed to.

                  • Minnie Jones
                    May 20, 2014 at 5:30 AM #

                    and some people just die of cancer and they have not done anything for it . It just happens. really helpful shit you are giving here: why don’t you bloody jump of your expensive balcony… one jerk less left.

                    • Natalie
                      May 20, 2014 at 9:17 AM #

                      I don’t understand the comparison. About the only thing these diseases have in common are that they hurt those affected by it as well as their family and friends, and the causes are not well understood.

                      For both, there are strategies to minimize effects of the disease.

                  • ed
                    May 29, 2014 at 6:35 PM #

                    Are you fucking serious you, ignorance, judgmental spawn of Satan. Your not worth going any further. X

                  • Anonymous
                    May 29, 2014 at 8:48 PM #

                    You all clearly know nothing about depression. It’s a frickin mental illness. I hope all you pathetic idiots who say depression doesn’t exist end up with it one day. It’s frickin awful. Try crying everyday for no apparent reason. Try feeling so worthless and tired you cant even get out of bed. Try not being able to concentrate for more than a minute because you are so overwhelmed by your depressed thoughts. Try losing your ability to enjoy things. Try feeling so hopeless and sad and hating yourself so much to the point you start to hurt yourself and want to kill yourself. People DIE because of depression. People end up in HOSPITAL because of depression. How can you say depression doesn’t exist? Are you that dumb, pathetic and heartless? If your child started showing symptoms of depression, would you dismiss them as “selfishness”? Would you wait until your chid was holding a gun to their head until you woke up to yourself and realised that maybe they needed help? Depression is a misunderstood topic, because very few understand the human brain and very few ever will. Depression is real whether you want to accept it or not. Oh, and “Juan Laguerta” I hope you get depression and I hope it makes you want to jump off a bridge. Maybe then you’ll realise what its like for those who live with depression.

                    • Natalie
                      May 30, 2014 at 5:11 AM #

                      In my opinion, it’s statements like yours that give depression a bad name. It’s a condition that’s fabricated, and I don’t maw that as an insult..but think about it. You are probably taking some other personality traits that coexist with your depression and assigning those personality or mood characteristics to depression, which probably isn’t to blame for the way you’re thinking/feeling, or at least as much as you think.

                      You’re free to dismiss that. I’m not trying to minimize or devalue anyone’s, including my own, mental state.

                      But if you can get past feeling personal injury, it does make sense how fabricated depression has become. It’s like Wikipedia of the brain. It is blamed for far too much in a sometimes indiscriminate manner…that’s a reason anyone has to defend their condition, whereas cancer patients do not.

                    • Chris
                      July 15, 2014 at 8:04 AM #

                      Trying to convince someone of how terrible depression is, and then wishing it upon the same person, is probably not the way to get them to listen to you.

                      Having said that, there has been a study (by psychiatrist Gerald Klerman and psychologist Myrna Weissman and pushblished in the ‘Journal of American Medical Association’) that in industrialized countries rates of depression increased at an alarming rate after World War II, while in countries less fortunate, they remained stable.

                      There is, a clear relationship between industrialization and depression, though it’s probably not industrialization itself. People saying that those in poor countries are less depressed are correct, but the depression in wealthy countries should not be taken lightly. There is reason to suspect that, as poor countries become industrialized, they will take the same road to depression.

                      The conclusion of this and several other studies was that people in poor countries have a much stronger emotional support system, meaning that the adversity these people experience brings them closer together.

                      Now you only need to look at the article and some the comments here, at some of the blame and lack of empathy, and it’s not really difficult to see why depression is problematic in the first place. The sense of loneliness that depression brings is crippling – that’s one of its biggest problems, and it wouldn’t surprise me (though I have no proof) if that is the leading reason for depressed people committing suicide. You can’t always do it alone.

                      As a simple conclusion, I think that those people who tend to be positive thinkers either have a better social/emotional support system in their lives, or they have better learned to regulate their emotions. I agree that emotional regulation can be learned by those who did not learn this in childhood, but it is a slow and difficult process, and probably something they are going to need help with.

                      A little bit of patience and understanding goes a long way, is all I’m saying.

                  • Joseph Stalin
                    June 21, 2014 at 1:11 PM #

                    Maybe instead of being an ignorant fucking idiot, why don’t you do some little research instead of going on some shitty crank site. Are you a doctor, therapist, psychologist, no you are fucking not. There is overwhelming evidence showing that free will is all an illusion, and is all in your head. You are not some special creation, you are an advanced computer, an advanced machine. Read Paradise Lost. The environment plays a tremendous role in how you turn out. Neurologists, physicists and many other scientists are agreeing that free will is not real, and is an illusion. So is willpower, it’s all in your head.

                    If free will really existed, people would overcome alcohol addictions, smoking addictions, any drug addiction, depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc… (I think I’ll just stop smoking today!) Just like that! But oh wait, they DON’T!

                    They need help, just like a depressed person. A depressed person lacks the pleasure and happiness hormones, like dopamine and seretonin. Just like someone with a drug addiction has problems with their brain. Man, depression really is like explaining color to a blind person. Just like I am explaining a mental disorder to a dumb ignorant person who is about as smart as a bag of hammers..

                    You are probably some sheltered rich girl, who lives in her little bubble, full of sunshine and rainbows, and doesn’t know how the world works. But hey, you never had any credibility in the first place, you type in all caps and behave like you have just consumed 10 cups of espresso, and you have the grammar, and mentality of a dumb sheltered kid who has just found the internet a few days ago. I’M LOUDER SO I’M RIGHT! Sorry, doesn’t work that way Sweetheart. The only pathetic and demented one here, is you. Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

                    Though you will probably spew more rubbish out of your filthy sewer again and again once you read this. Like they always do. But I don’t care. Can’t reason with this much dumb, and ignorance.

                    To all who agree with the OP, you should all be greatly ashamed of yourselves, you are all some of the most ignorant buffoons I have ever encountered. It boggles my mind how air headed you are. Do some actual research, probably won’t do that either. Oh well, bye, Komrades!

                    • Juan Laguerta
                      June 21, 2014 at 3:02 PM #

                      Yeah ok so free will is a creation of human imagination but depression and addictions are 100% percent real and completely out of the control of all subjects “afflicted” by them.
                      Do you hear yourself?
                      Doesn’t it get tiring trying to rationalize all your bulshit?
                      I’m not some sheltered girl
                      I’m an adult male
                      And what, YOU’RE the neuropsych expert? Do you even know what you’re talking about
                      You’re just shitting out words like dopamine and serotonin but you have no idea what they mean because the goddamn scientists don’t even know what they mean
                      It’s just speculation
                      There’s not even concrete research showing if depression causes the neurotransmitters to fire or if it’s vise versa
                      Do you know what scientists do
                      Here is science:
                      “hey look rain falls when it’s cloudy let’s make a research paper about it”
                      But why does it really fall tho
                      “Idk but look everytime it trains it’s cloudy they are associated”

                      Just because you know a chemical associated with a condition doesn’t mean ANYTHING,
                      HELP by definition is something you give to someone who can’t handle their own shit
                      And even then no matter how much help you give it doesn’t mean jack shit unless the person wants to change because that’s what matters WHAT YOU WANT
                      FREE FUCKING WILL
                      Even if free will is just a profound and complex algorithm that still means it’s stronger and more complex than something as shallow and conjured up as depression or addiction.
                      Of course a depressed person is gonna lack the fucking happiness hormones because they’re not fucking happy
                      Oh this dead person lacks life that’s why they’re dead
                      No, they’re dead because some motherfucker stabbed them you anus
                      You think happiness just grows on trees?
                      Do you just expect to be happy by default?
                      It’s not a fucking right
                      If you don’t want to be happy you’re not gonna be happy
                      If you Truly want to be happy you will be happy

                      It’s not I’m louder so im right
                      I am right hence I get to be louder
                      Im 2 old 4 dis shit

                    • Toma
                      June 21, 2014 at 4:35 PM #

                      If free will doesn’t exist, then I had no choice in writing this article, and you all had no choice in agreeing or disagreeing with it. This also means we should free every prisoner, for without free will no laws have been broken (mens-rea). Those of you who are depressed because you have been abused should also forgive your abusers, for they had no choice. But then again, you will have no choice in whether you forgive them or not, as you have no free will.

                      This sort of quantum-driven philosophy exemplifies the mindlessness of people. If you knew yourself at all you would know it not to be true. The physicists who devise it are, not unlike Freud and his predecessors, looking for recognition through innovation. They don’t care about truth, and they certainly don’t care about you.

                    • Natalie
                      June 21, 2014 at 11:57 PM #

                      By your logic if free will doesn’t exist there’s no reason to do anything but practice acceptance.

                  • anon
                    June 25, 2014 at 3:50 PM #

                    youre the whiner. you have to write a 15 page article condemning others for a real documented illness. youre the one who sounds like a jerk here and a selfish depressed person who only thinks of himself.And youre most inhuman.

                  • guest
                    July 2, 2014 at 7:55 PM #

                    Wow you really have everything figured out! Well now with all your WISDOM please tell us why It is you are the one so negative, so angry? I read this blog with an open mind. I took something positive from it even though I would be considered one of the selfish ones. Until I scrolled down and seen your comments. Well that’s ok we are all entitled to our own opinions. My opinion of your hate filled rant is more to do with yourself maybe just Maybe you should take a look in the mirror before you unleash all your WISDOM onto others. Stop judging we all go through things in life. Then something can come your way and it stops you cold in your tracks life gets turned inside out and you have to learn how to live with your new normal and you do you learn to cope with what’s happened but it can take some time. That’s where insight comes in we have to look into oneself to get better! Some of it may be selfish and then you learn once again hey I’m learning to navigate this new normal and I am doing better today because insight helped me see how selfish I’ve been. Anyway insight you seem to have a lot of insight Oh shoot I meant to say you should have some well never mind I shouldn’t tell you what you need that would be so selfish of me.

                • Laura
                  January 22, 2014 at 5:22 AM #

                  Thank you Bill this is very ignorant as a neuroscience major with a specialty in mood disorders, it is clear that this girl does not understand what real depression is, and is more following the ignorant stigma created by media. I sense that she probably has someone in her life that she cares a lot about that has depression and shes just lashing out because depression is hard to deal with when caring for love ones. I could go into all the neuro-chemical reactions that occur in the brain in major depressive disorder, however she will not understand that terminology or any of the science of it because she clearly is not educated in this field, and she needs to do her research before shes states such a powerful opinion because she only looks ignorant and foolish with absolutely no validity in her statements.

                  • Ferris Wheeller
                    January 22, 2014 at 5:27 PM #

                    It doesnt take a fucking a neurosciemce major to figure out thaf yiu dont use your brain then your iq drops and int the same way if u dedicade your brain to sulking in your piss and tears it will comply

                    • Kris Bundy (@blafls)
                      February 10, 2014 at 5:22 PM #

                      It takes a neuroscience major to find out why. And no, your brain is nothing like a muscle. If you don’t eat for a few days, you don’t need to eat certain foods to reactivate your digestive system. Thanks for the depression stigma though, it’s great to know that there are still people out there making depression seem like less of a big deal. People really need encouragement when they think that their lives mean nothing. Please be a troll. My faith in humanity kind of depends upon it.

                    • Estaban Haroon
                      February 10, 2014 at 9:03 PM #

                      The brain is adaptive, that is a scientific fact. If all you wallow in your own piss you’ll get piss stains all over your psyche. Depression isn’t your brain responding to the world, it’s your brain responding to your own shitty thoughts.

                  • Natalie
                    March 15, 2014 at 7:45 AM #

                    So everyone is supposed to understand you? How selfish can you be? Jeez

                    • Sam
                      April 7, 2014 at 12:53 AM #

                      Natalie – What is your problem? You’ve done nothing but respond negatively to countless posts on here whenever somebody makes a comment that indicates they believe depression is a lot more complicated than this ridiculous article and many of the posters on here seem to think it is. Your immature, snarky comments don’t contribute anything substantial to the discussion. And you have the nerve to ask somebody else how selfish can they be. Why don’t you ask yourself that same question? How selfish can YOU be to constantly post the same ignorance over and over again in response to various different people just because you don’t agree with their point of view? You seem to think that your point of view is important enough to be posted ad nauseam, but you belittle anybody whose view you don’t agree with. Get over yourself!

                    • Natalie
                      April 7, 2014 at 11:33 PM #

                      Maybe the thread structure doesn’t reflect this accurately, but the only thing I’ve called selfish is name-calling anyone who doesn’t offer a pat on the back and sympathetic agreement. I did not name-call and don’t intend to insult.

                      I maintain that it’s selfish to call me insecure and snarky because I don’t agree with you. I can’t influence how you react.

                    • Natalie
                      April 7, 2014 at 11:48 PM #

                      And let’s not call this a discussion…when any opposing views can’t be tolerated.

                      This thread is interesting to me. I wonder where the voices of the depressed who aren’t aggressively seeking validation are. Is this the only face of depression? From some of the comments, I do see that there are some voices from individuals who are depressed but who aren’t engulfed in anger, defensiveness. Not all try to control what exists in others’ minds and what comes out of their mouths.

                      In my opinion (and that’s all it is, so feel free to not take it personally), your attempts at belittling my opinion (and me) are a result of your own hypersensitivity.

                      Sometimes I am immature and insecure – I don’t see how this has to do with qualifying or disqualifying me to voice my opinion. Let me guess by your example – do I have to be seething anger and need for validation to have your approval to post?

                      That may be a personality trait, unrelated with depression. This thread is overtaken with similar comments.

                    • Jonathan Gray
                      April 12, 2014 at 10:30 PM #

                      You are calling other people selfish. You are on the internet, behaving like a spoilt child, because it gives you pleasure, actively causing others to become upset, and you call others selfish?

                      You are a very unpleasant individual. This is evident to anyone from your posts.

                      You don’t have an ‘opposing view’. You are denigrating and abusing the subjective experiences of others, because it fills the hole in your soul.

                      Why are you here? What makes you think behaving in this manner is acceptable? It isn’t. Go away, idiotic child.

                    • Natalie
                      April 13, 2014 at 10:28 AM #

                      Sad it had to come to this same place.

                    • Sidney
                      April 17, 2014 at 11:10 AM #

                      You’re such a Bitch!!! You are telling me a 14 year old that I am selfish!!! Because I chose to be mentally abused by my soccer coach. I chose to ask myself when I was 4 why no one loved me. I chose for my so called friends to reject me and call me names. I chose to hate myself. My so called teammates called me the team punching bag, because you know I chose that. My mom just like you told me to stop pitying myself, to try harder. When everyday I tried my best. I keep telling myself I am being selfish and that I’m not good enough. I can’t look anyone in the eyes not even my family, because I felt like they would be able to see my pain and I don’t want to “burden them”. I have yet to tell anyone that I have depression because I don’t want to be selfish. But do you know what that does? It eats at me. This little voice in my head keeps telling me that I’m worthless, that no one cares about me, that I am ugly, that I am selfish, and it tells me to give up. I chose to feel that. I tell myself that I shouldn’t feel this when they’re are people out their getting abused, people who are starving. So I see why you may think that I am selfish. But if you don’t have depression where it’s constantly telling you that you’re worthless and that you should just give up, then you just shut the fuck up unless you have a MD degree and have learned about this disease. You clearly don’t know what your talking about if you’re telling me a 14 year old that I am selfish because I apparently “chose” to have depression. Grow the fuck up. I feel bad for you tho. Because either you have gone through something that cause you to become such a Stuck Up Princess who doesn’t know the actually FACTS, or how dealing with depression really feels. Or you could just have been a born decedent of the devil. Either way I hope someday you will grow up and open your mind to the idea of how some things aren’t always how they appear. Because I put a fake smile on everyday and force a laugh that makes me happy and I couldn’t possible have depression. Or how a psycho could look completely normal at first until he starts a massacre. Soooo… Overall I want to thank you for your point of view and I see were you come from. I just hope that you can see were mine comes from. But if you don’t thats fine. :)

                • Peter
                  April 27, 2014 at 8:15 AM #

                  Actually, your brain is kind of like a form of muscle in many ways.
                  For example, why do you think people say that exercising your brain can prevent Alzheimer’s Disease?
                  Because you train it, and keep in in shape.
                  Also, your own attitude to things will dramatically affect how you experience things.
                  Surely you have heard of the Placebo Effect?
                  This is actually a phenomenon that even doctors have noticed, and it can have an incredible effect on both your physical body and your well-being.

                  I don’t like how depressed people are considered some kind of helpless victims who are “unable do anything on their own”.
                  Yes, they are depressed, but a lot of people go through depression at least once during their lifetime, and depression gives you a twisted view of reality, and makes you believe all kinds of negative crap about yourself that isn’t true.
                  I don’t care how convinced the depressed people on here are that their negative thoughts about themselves and their lives are “true”, they are not.
                  Depression makes you think like that, and if those people can just realize that then they are one step closer to getting out of the depression.

                  • RJ
                    April 30, 2014 at 12:30 AM #

                    My comment is mainly addressed to Sidney. Sorry about the way things are going for you. I more than understand as much as it is possible for one person to relate to walking a mile in another person’s shoes so to speak. I spent so much time in my life in similar situations and circumstances with a side order of physical violence added to the mix that at the same age of four I made up my mind . . . thank God I was not like ‘them’ and I knew I never wanted to be one of ‘them’. I also decided that no mater what, they would not break me. Your mere existence pisses ‘them’ off just think how your cocky survival is going to twist their underwear into a
                    proverbial bundle. I was convinced that every slight, abuse, name calling, punch, ridicule, put down just served to make me stronger, more determined, and thankful that I was different esp from ‘them’. It took a few more years to deal with the anger because at times anger was the only thing keeping me alive. One day it dawned on me that anger was making me into one of ‘them’ and that was exactly what their intention was all along. To attack, snatch and grab at any difference and goodness they saw in others until they destroyed it thereby adding one more miserable person to their rank an file. Hell no they do not get to change me! Hell no! Because I am different only makes me different. I do not measure myself or my life by their yard stick. I did not choose this but how I choose to handle it, react ,and what kind of person I become because of it those things are my responsibility. Just like I did you will make your own way . . . one way or the other. I wish you nothing but the best in life.

                • joe
                  April 28, 2014 at 6:25 AM #

                  nice one bill

                • Beth Mastrodonato
                  June 14, 2014 at 10:45 AM #

                  totally agree Bill

              • Steve Jobbs
                June 10, 2014 at 7:19 AM #

                “Don’t criticize what you can’t understand,” – The Times Are Changing – Bob Dylan.

                • Toma
                  June 10, 2014 at 7:44 AM #

                  Does this apply to those who don’t understand my writing??

            • dewall
              December 8, 2013 at 12:58 PM #

              Very well stated

            • terry101man
              December 10, 2013 at 9:51 AM #

              Your story sounds identical to my Step-Doughters, I’m very concerned about her and could realy use some advise from some one who has been through it 1st hand. Could we please communicate by email or private message on facebook. I realy am woryed about her.

              • Washington Irving
                January 2, 2014 at 4:59 PM #

                Learn to spell. It will make everything better.

            • elli adkins
              February 14, 2014 at 5:06 AM #

              I have “had” depression. I was prescribed medication and everything. And even i can say it is something of the mind. Its the placebo affect. You think you are depressed. You say you could not control your depression, therefore you are bringing it upon yourself. Look up details about the placebo affect. You may just save yourself from your “depression.”
              Oh, and you should not go accusing others of “not knowing because they did not experience it firsthand”, it is an ignorant thing to do. The writer was writing simply to educate, not to offend you.

              • Natalie
                March 15, 2014 at 7:46 AM #

                Thanks, elli. I’m amazed there are so many one-sided validation seekers around. No wonder there’s no such thing as tolerance.

              • Nor
                March 19, 2014 at 2:19 AM #

                Couldn’t have put it better myself.

              • impossiblegirl
                April 1, 2014 at 4:48 PM #

                I’m glad that you had a minor depression that could be ‘cured’ by positive thoughts or whatever. Good for you. There IS a difference, though, between a minor depression and a depressive disorder.

                I have Major Depressive Disorder. Something I didn’t even think I had until my parents forced me to go to a psychologist. I have since been on eight different types of medication and to five different therapists. Nothing works. I can be fine for months or years and then suddenly fall into depression again, sometimes with no reason.

                Yet I still go about my life, I still function. I am studying at university, I want a good job that will help people, I refuse to take disability consideration as I consider it cheating (for me, there are many others who have it worse than me).

                I could go into the myriad things that trigger my periods of depression – PTSD from sexual assault being the major one. But there are also many reasons in my life to be happy. I have a wonderful family that I wouldn’t trade for anything (despite the genetic anxiety my mother passed on to me, haha) and wonderful friends. I am privileged enough to go to university, and to live in Australia, and I am a kind and caring person. I just happen to have days where I can’t get out of bed, and sometimes those days can go on for weeks or months.

                Because the synapses in my brain that pass serotonin through are broken. They don’t work properly. They stop working altogether occasionally, for no real reason – and it’s physically impossible to think happy thoughts (or at least believe them) when you have no serotonin in your brain.

                I spend most of this time, not thinking about how depressed I am, but how guilty I feel about being depressed when there’s no reason to be, when I have a lovely life. About how much of a burden I am on other people when I am like that. Trust me, you don’t need to tell a person with depression that they are selfish or a burden – they already know. Or believe it.

                Anyway, what annoys me is that no one commenting on this post agreeing with the OP has actually HAD a depressive disorder. When I can’t get out of bed, it’s not laziness or just me being too sad to go about my day – your brain literally attacks your whole body and makes you sick. It’s a very physical inability to get up. And it’s not caused by negative thoughts, as you all claim – it can happen overnight, from having a perfectly normal happy day to not being able to function the next.

                I used to wallow. I used to feel sorry for myself. Now I just live with it and tackle the bad days when they come, and a lot of people I know don’t even know I have depression. But what made me comment today is that people still share stereotypes of depression, and try to undermine real scientific study of the condition – while actively trying to make someone who already hates themself do so even more.

                It’s this kind of thinking that will next suggest that bipolar or psychosis are not ‘real illnesses’. Try taking someone with psychosis off their medication and telling them they can cure themselves with realistic thoughts.

                As for the saying, “we all have depression at some point” – that’s WRONG. NO. Everyone gets sad. Yes. A lot of people get minor depressions that can last months and be very debilitating, but they’re usually caused by some trigger (rape, death, loss of job, breakup, failing grades etc.) and can be overcome.

                Actual depressive disorders are with a person for life. They cannot be cured. They can be helped, they can be managed, and I hope most people with them have supportive people around for the times they are difficult (because there are times worse than others, and the best medicine is a loving friend), but many of those people will be on medication for life, and telling them they don’t deserve to be unhappy is a cruel and soulless thing to do.

                • divya
                  April 3, 2014 at 10:27 AM #

                  thank u for sharing all this but what when a person does have depression ! and no friends and several other serious personal problems! and no one there to support that person! it becomes even harder doesn’t it?

                • Natalie
                  April 7, 2014 at 11:51 PM #

                  I don’t think you’re in a position to determine what kind of depression Elli had, or whether it was “major” or “minor.”

                  The most likely possibility is you really don’t know, and people tell of their experience in different ways.

                  In your case, you want your depression to be worse than someone else’s depression. You write about it like it is.

                  • Haris Cooper
                    April 9, 2014 at 2:01 AM #

                    Bloody hell, do you think every single damn story was for the sake of self-validation?

                    Hopefully you don’t roll your eyes when someone is telling you something about themselves, as that’s just tragic.

                    Oh and I was a pathetic fool in my younger years thinking me being sad was depression, that I felt sorry for myself and that it can’t be within my control but I dealt with it. But I never woke up sad for no reason, I never had pangs of sadness hit me despite there being no situation that would lead to those thoughts.

                    As for her story? It was an insight in someone that has had depression, I believe it exists but for you to say she simply intends to one up another. Who are you to thrust upon her that she’s simply attention grabbing? The girl was describing a feeling neither you or me could contemplate, so stop being pathetic.

                    Depression does exist, and it isn’t people ‘feeling sad’ it’s something a heck load more serious than that. Feeling sad and people being selfish about it is what you’re taking a dig at, not depression. If anything take shots at society for consistently confusing the two.

                    • Natalie
                      April 9, 2014 at 10:19 PM #

                      Hello Harris, i didn’t dismiss her story. Stories are informing. Read her opening statement:

                      “I’m glad that you had a minor depression that could be ‘cured’ by positive thoughts or whatever. Good for you. There IS a difference, though, between a minor depression and a depressive disorder.”

                      There is so much about this that isn’t about telling her story.

                      I see minimizing another poster’s story and calling for a greater self pity by comparison.

                      It is reality, not an insult meant to dismiss her or your experience.

                  • Beth Mastrodonato
                    June 14, 2014 at 10:53 AM #

                    YOU are a creep

            • Colin
              May 21, 2014 at 7:49 AM #

              Yes. This person, who speaks not from experience but from looking at something from the outside, and passing judgment on it, on years of study and research, labored over by actual professionals, with years of education, in one breath. And, as is very typical of someone with sufficient ego to believe that he is qualified to make such judgments without any actual facts or proof or statistical data, or anything but mere conjecture, he is apt to pass such judgments on things he has never experienced himself and in fact is not even a little qualified to make. What he talks about is sadness and being down in the dumps, which is indeed the result of selfish or self-centrered thinking, and NOT real depression. What you describe is what real, clinical depression is like. I have battled it much of my life, and it was never because of circumstantial phenomena. Rather, it was more a crippling lack of energy and motivation, aches and pains and stiffness and muscle cramps – which were not aided by vitamin supplements, exercise, or the other usual treatments – frequent colds, and a feeling of hopelessness, which arose out of this inexplicable and baffling syndrome, which happened to me initially during my teenage years when my life was otherwise quite enjoyable and carefree. It is unfortunate that individuals like this man waste their time spreading ignorant, negative and hurtful or damaging misinformation while talking about “positive thinking.” Worse still, that there are so many people with insufficient education to recognize this man’s lack of expertise and incorrect information, who believe it without any fact-checking whatsoever. No wonder there is so much cruelty and senseless barbarism in the world today.

              • Toma
                May 21, 2014 at 8:46 AM #

                The “so many people with insufficient education” you speak of do what you fail to do. They look within themselves for the truth.

                The cliché of ‘ignorance is bliss’ exists for a reason. Those with less mind are free from its trappings, and depression is one of them.

          • A Fellow Human Being
            October 20, 2013 at 11:52 PM #

            Thank you. I am clinically depressed. It’s not something I can control with positive thinking or sheer will power. It’s a chemical deficiency in my brain. I am pro-logic and pro-science.

            I understand that for people who do not suffer from clinical depression it can seem like it’s something you can control, but that’s…just not the case.

            I am not being selfish. If there’s anyone to blame for my condition, it’s God because this is how he created me. My brain does not produce enough serotonin as people who are not clinically depressed. This is neither my fault or my responsibility to fix without help.

            • Christin
              November 7, 2013 at 9:23 AM #

              It’s certainly not your fault, but your actions do have an effect on how well your brain deals with the inadequate levels of neurotransmitters. For example, 10 minutes bursts of exercise can help relieve symptoms temporarily, and help you manage reoccurring episodes. Despite the unsubstantiated nonsense purported by the author of this blog, you do have some power to help yourself get better. Sure, it’s hard, and it might be impossible to do alone, depending on the severity of your condition. But as someone who has been where you are, and like you, is pro-science and pro-logic, I can tell you, it can and does get better. With a lot of work, sure, but sometimes that work feels good, just to be making progress. Hang in there, and stop reading completely unscientific crap like this blog. This is a much better source of helpful info:
     I refer to it a lot, especially when I get triggered into another episode.

              • Wendy
                November 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM #

                It does not get better for everyone. I lived so much of my life with pain and aggravation, till finally I went to see my doctor. I discovered what I wasn’t/was feeling was called “Major Depressive Disorder. I am far from selfish. I have always been a giving person. I always kept to myself. Never said a negative word to anyone. But after going thru treatment, I can function. But if I were to stop my meds, I would be thrown back into the lions den. You know you cannot see a heart attack, yet you have one. The author is one of those people who thinks the world is flat, because he can’t see beyond the horizon.

                • john
                  December 6, 2013 at 2:13 AM #

                  and you think because there are zero actual studies providing evidence of depression being a chemical imbalance, that because your doctor told you its a metnal illness that you believe it. the meds dont cure depression, they are just mood altering drugs, go smoke pot i bet it has about the same effect. it really is in your head. just because you are a giving person doesn’t mean your not selfish. maybe it means you are just acting against your will to give to others so you look better in society, when in all reality all you want is to have everything for yourself. i have been “clinically depressed” and all the pills in the world didn’t help me at all. until i started living a better life and not thinking about what i want all the time, nothing changed.

                  • newzbug
                    December 6, 2013 at 11:41 AM #

                    Of course there is no cure. It is just treating the symptoms. I could have all the best and right answers John and still you will believe what you want to believe. My problem is that I cannot stop myself from giving in to my symptoms so I take meds. Yes it is real and I have the same you do. There is not a “cure”. I knew that a long time ago. Geeze if I really cared about what society thought of me, I wouldn’t have done all the things I have that “seem” to imply I am acceptable. I am glad you found help with changing your life. This is what works for me. It doesn’t matter what i say, you will think Toma is perfectly right and you are anti-med. All meds change you … either your body or your mind. At least I don’t tell people how horrible they are …

                • Mala
                  January 26, 2014 at 1:08 PM #

                  Keeping to yourself is incredibly selfish. You were put on this earth to give of yourself. Same goes with not saying anything negative to people. Apathy and indifference stem from disinterest and self-centeredness.

                  I myself have recently been “diagnosed,” (again. I spent most of my teens on Effexor) and I refused to accept their life-sentence. An attitude of gratitude goes a long way. I’m not cured by a long shot, but everyday I am stronger and more positive. You can do it! You just have to set your mind to it and deny the bullshit. No one is saying it’s easy. It took me 28 years to get to this point in my life, obviously it’s not going to be resolved overnight.

                  • divya
                    April 3, 2014 at 10:51 AM #

                    the point here is mala …that while the person is trying to get over depression ….he IS trying and while that time he or she cannot be claimed as selfish! it took u 28 years … long time and someone if at that point of time just called u selfish would be completely wrong and yes u would have felt bad ! there are people too who after trying allot to get over such disorders can’t get over it…u again cannot call them selfish..they tried! and then there are people who go through this problem and try to get themselves back on the track but are week and every time they get a lil better…something bad happens and they get back to the same place! not everybody’s life is the same and not every person is strong enough and can handle life problems the same way as the other person does! not every persons life is good ! some have bad lives and some have worse and some even worse! no one person can tell the other person that he’s selfish until and unless he’s gone through the exact same problem as the other one ! i’m not calling anyone wrong here…obviously everyone is diff. and has diff. opinions about everything! all i’m asking for is to look at the problem with a little more sensitivity maybe? just like everyone has diff. opinions ..the same way every person is diff. and has a diff. life! if you’ve not been there all your life going through the exact same things/problems they have …u cannot make statements and call them selfish as u yourself don’t know how u would become/reacted to all that after going through everything that they’ve been through! sure u can say u would have been just fine and handled it and would have been completely normal and “NOT SELFISH” and stuff but u never really know until n unless you’ve been there!

              • Newzbug
                November 21, 2013 at 2:48 PM #

                Christin, the thing most people don’t seem to get is one of the symptoms of MDD is that you have little or no energy to get yourself up to exercise or eat right. That is why a strong support system is so important. Quite often you have very little control over getting better. I have severe MDD. For me everything is a struggle. So I am forced to take my life moment by moment or day by day. YES, I have attempted suicide … if anythiing it is a selfless act. My family or friends refuse to be a part of my healing, so they become unimportant to me. And my attempts were to lessen their so called pain with me. My pain has been lifelong. Theirs isn’t really there for me, but for themselves.

              • Laura
                January 17, 2014 at 8:20 AM #

                Ahhh thank you, someone that explained that depression can be cured without saying thats selfish. Really thank you.

            • Katie
              November 26, 2013 at 1:49 PM #

              I am also clinically depressed and I am only a child. I am not selfish. I hurt myself so I wouldn’t hurt the people around me. I feel so angry and insecure all the time and nobody helps me. They watch. I feel so lonely even though I have friends and scared. And I have blamed God a lot for my problems. I wake up crying and screaming and there is just no joy or anyone who cares about and helps me. I am not selfish.

            • lisa
              April 28, 2014 at 12:02 PM #

              some people on this site are just plain stupid , untill they walk in our shoes, they should pretty much shut the hell up and stop putting us down

          • Daniel
            October 24, 2013 at 2:22 PM #

            No it’s not an illness and it’s been proven it’s all in the head

            • hannah
              October 27, 2013 at 3:49 PM #

              HAHA OF COURSE IT’S IN THE HEAD.. IT’S A MENTAL ILLNESS. where did you think it would be found? the kidneys?

              • liz
                November 29, 2013 at 1:35 PM #


              • alice
                December 15, 2013 at 12:28 PM #


            • Alex Powell
              October 29, 2013 at 5:23 PM #

              You obviously don’t understand what real depression is….its a lack of a certain chemical in the brain, to explain it vaguely. but it is VERY real and my mother is clinically depressed. so wheres your “proof” that its not real?

            • Wendy
              November 11, 2013 at 12:02 PM #

              Daniel, who has proven it’s not an illness? Have you ever had serious depression? If not, then you cannot talk about my experiences being phony.

              • Natalie
                March 15, 2014 at 8:38 AM #

                I believe he has the natural-born right to say what he wants, even if you don’t approve!

                • Alex
                  April 1, 2014 at 11:20 AM #

                  He is entitled to his wrong opinions.

                  • Natalie
                    April 9, 2014 at 10:21 PM #

                    Opinions aren’t right or wrong. They are.

                • Jonathan Gray
                  April 12, 2014 at 10:36 PM #

                  Indeed. Just like the man on the corner ranting about alien invasions and goat-people running the government.

                  You can say what you like. Others will think you are an imbecile.

                  Please keep saying what you like. It gives others all the warning they need as to the kind of person you are.

                  • Natalie
                    April 13, 2014 at 10:30 AM #

                    I see. Gaslighting me now, huh. I guess you can always compare something that upsets you to aliens if you really want to take it there.

                    I’m that big of a threat that people need warnings? …wow

            • Katie
              January 12, 2014 at 11:02 AM #

              Because were not the kind of people who smile after we get punched in the face? Because were not the kind of people who think about what they’ll eat for dinner and when a tv show is coming on? It was people like you who did all this to me and I don’t think I can ever forgive them.Do you have any idea what its like to suffer from autism, then pdd-nos, then finally when you are ‘normal’ again you feel like you aren’t, then have tons of mental problems, thinking that everything is a trap and everyone iting to torture me and only me, then hoping school will be a great hiding place from those cold, dark feelings that haunt me, then realizing they will always be there, you have only people pretending to be your friends and completely neglecting you, but you don’t want to admit you are a loner, especially when you feel lonely enough, then feeling like a useless retarded freak and finding nothing to be ‘happy’ about, becoming depressed when you don’t even know what depression even is yet, then finding out when its way too late to change it, hoping that a move to New York will hep but all of that crushed when you figure out that it will never go away, going from the worlds best school to the worlds worst school, filled with boring lifeless people who love to ignore every REAL problem, then the greatest part of all this is it will never end and nobody will ever care about me or help me! People like you think that full of life means ‘happiness’ meanwhile I think being full of life is knowing what life actually is. I dont believe in happiness. I think that as crazy as it sounds you can enjoy feeling any emotion and that happiness is just enjoying being satisfied but joy is real. Thats the only thing I want. I really just want someone to help me. Is that too much to ask?

              • Heather L.
                January 16, 2014 at 2:26 PM #

                Hi Katie,

                You sound like my life story. I am in my 30’s now, but my childhood sounds something like yours. I have autism, and now depression. I didn’t get help until my late twenties. I was told all of my life that I was “evil” or “demonic.” When I was a child, nobody realized that autism is a spectrum disorder. I had many of the key symptoms, but slipped through the cracks, because I was verbal and somewhat social.

                Please get off of this website. Most of the people here are no help to you, as I can surmise by the hurtful and ignorant comments. What is truly disgusting is that they are knowingly saying these things to someone who has clearly stated “I am only a child” ~ taken from your “November 26, 2013 at 1:49 PM” post.

                As for getting help, it depends on what country you live in. I am from Canada, and there are programs for people with autism, and the sorrows that follow it (such as depression) available to all Canadians. If you live somewhere else (most likely, you do), I can post some sites and books that were helpful to me (I will do this a little later, after I get some sleep – it’s the middle of the night where I am). Mind you, my suggestions are no replacement for someone with an MD, nor do I claim they are.

                I am a Christian, and I will do one thing I know will help (to what extent, and what kind of help, I don’t know). I will pray for you daily. I know there is a tendency to blame God. I struggle with that too. Everyone who has suffered has probably fallen victim to that, even if they do not say it out loud. One thing I know for sure is that God understands, and He is touched by your suffering. Autism is not your fault, nor is depression. You and I were created different from the rest of the world, and the world, for the most part, is not very understanding.

                As I noted from all of your posts, you express yourself very well, and you come across as being extremely intelligent, which is more than I can say for a good portion of the other contributors.

                I don’t know if any of this is helpful, but just know that I care about you, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.



                • Aron
                  January 16, 2014 at 6:23 PM #

                  No, you are not depressed, you can’t be because depression isn’t real, it’s just an EXCUSE for you to get out of things. Get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourself then you’ll *magically* stop being “depressed”.

                  • Bob
                    February 12, 2014 at 12:21 PM #

                    Aron, I used to be like you. I used to say how depression was nonsense and did not exist, and that there was no proof, etc.

                    Well guess what; now I suffer from depression. And believe me, it is no laughing matter, and you better hope that you don’t come down with it because it can make your life a living hell. Your life can be going well, but for some reason you’re experiencing a myriad of scary emotions for no logical reason at all.

                    Until you’ve experienced it, you have no idea what you’re talking about, so shut the fuck up.

                    • Toma
                      February 12, 2014 at 12:22 PM #

                      Tell that to your therapist.

                    • Toma
                      February 26, 2014 at 1:38 PM #

                      This was very much why I wrote the article “Overcoming the mind that is overcoming you.” We start to get sucked into a vacuum of negative thinking, and often without knowing it. If we don’t fight it, then we fall deeper into it. We are not unique or special in the way we think. It can happen to any of us, but it’s up to us to fight it, not simply dismiss it as ‘mental illness’. It’s like an alcoholic saying, “Fuck it! I’m an alcoholic, and that’s been declared an illness”, then, in a blasé tone saying, “What can you do.” You think he will ever get better?


                  • mr
                    February 16, 2014 at 6:09 PM #

                    Well, aren’t you a fucking idiot.

                    • Natalie
                      April 9, 2014 at 10:22 PM #

                      Nice rebuttal.

                    • Beth Mastrodonato
                      June 14, 2014 at 10:54 AM #

                      love it

              • divya
                April 3, 2014 at 11:01 AM #

                you’ve sure gone or still going through a hell lot! i know what it feels like when the so called friends around are fake and just users and no one in the family understands u! i’m always there for people who’ve been through crap in life like i have and i’m there for you too! u are obviously not alone! yes i literally can’t be there but i’m there to help! :) and so will few other people going through somewhat the kind of problems your going through will be there! stay strong!

          • Dan H
            November 12, 2013 at 1:58 AM #

            Yo simply missed the mark, so called ‘depression is a choice. How we deal, react and suppress guilt (sin), and worry in our lives thus causes thee chemical reactions in our created bodies.
            instead of properly dealing with our ‘self’ and keep ourselves in check morally both in personal character and public actions parasites as the
            Pharmaceutical companies and the darn psychology manipulators bring their false solutions and prey on peoples ignorance,.

            • zapdmom
              November 12, 2013 at 10:17 AM #

              When people tell me that “depression is a choice” I get they are wanting me to be dead. So why don’t you come out with a rifle and just shoot everyone with that choice inspired depression.

            • Newzbug
              November 21, 2013 at 2:51 PM #

              If it’s a choice, then why do I give a $%^^ what my family or friends think? If it weren’t for meds I would already be DEAD. I no more blame the doctors/pharm companies for my illness than I blame them for my heart problems. But I suppose I made a choice to have high blood pressure. I will have to remember that from now on.

            • Amazon
              November 23, 2013 at 9:06 AM #

              Dan – you have no effing idea what you are talking about. You are part of the problem for those of us who suffer from depression. Go hurt someone else and leave sick people alone. What a total jackass. And that goes for the person who wrote this so-called article, too.

              • Allisom
                November 23, 2013 at 10:43 PM #

                Right on my bro! :D

          • Sarah
            November 23, 2013 at 10:48 AM #

            Anything can be called an “illness”, over eating, sex addiction, the list goes on. I think it’s just an excuse for people to not act the right way so they keep doing what they do or think the way they do and say “oh im this way be because i have an illness. Im sorry but i think you’re just taking this to heart because you say you have an “illness” with depression. This article wasn’t stupid, it was just not tip toeing around peoples feelings.

            • ted norton
              November 23, 2013 at 11:22 AM #

              Sarah get your head out of your ass and do a little research. And Emily, Sarah is not worth the value of your time.


              • ted norton
                November 23, 2013 at 11:35 AM #

                ( I mean Emma. Sorry)

              • Sarah
                November 24, 2013 at 3:16 AM #

                Oh goodness. My head isn’t up my ass. I just have my own thoughts and views of things. That’s all. I express my opinion and of course people get hurt over it, never intended to make anyone mad. Can’t there just be a simple debate with opinion and no insults?

                • ted norton
                  November 24, 2013 at 3:53 AM #

                  An opinion should be informed. With the entire worldwide medical community having acknowledged depressive disorders as illnesses, featuring not only mental but physical symptoms and chronic features, you somehow have information that is better than their dedicated research ? I meant no insult. I was just remarking on your state of ignorance as frankly as possible.

                • newzbug
                  November 24, 2013 at 8:09 AM #

                  Anytime ANYONE expresses their opinion, someone is going to disagree. People who are “hurt” by it must have some underlyiing things going on to be hurt so easily by opinion.

                  • Ted Norton
                    November 25, 2013 at 5:29 AM #

                    Ignorance is NOT opinion. Period. And YES people are hurt because they suffer from a condition that is being misrepresented and deliberately misunderstood by others who have no idea how much PAIN is involved. I will resist the urge to put any of you in great pain and then have others mock your condition by telling you it’s only your weak character causing the pain. It’s inhumane to speak the way you do of something you obviously have never experienced.

                    • newzbug
                      November 26, 2013 at 2:30 AM #

                      Ted Norton, I have been living with severe MDD for a long time now. I only recently had spent a week in a local psych hospital. I put myself there because “I was afraid of me”. I know that sounds odd, but I didn’t know how much longer I could resist the urge to kill myself. So tell me TomaHaiku, do you think I am selfish for wanting to not only end MY pain, but the pain of others who consistently ridicule, belittle and are cruel to ME, because my illness “doesn’t exist”. I am cursed to always hear those people in my head over and over. While you can merely wish your discomforts away. So now who do you think think is being selfish?!!!

                    • Natalie
                      April 9, 2014 at 10:26 PM #

                      The basis on which you call commenters and the author ignorant is unfounded.

                      The rule is that you must be heard out, supported and validated, or the other party, however reserved and tactful, is pitted against you as an ignoramus.

                      I think the hope of an open exchange of thoughts and opinions is lost here.

                  • mandilouwho?
                    December 19, 2013 at 9:54 AM #

                    Duh yeah someone is offended because ignorant people write ignorant comments not knowing at all what they are talking about on people that do know because they have experienced it. Yes addictions and mental illnesses are getting brought to light now and yes God can cure but where is he? Everyone with an illness does not have the mind to beg for help and when you have major depression like me as someone else already stated you don’t have energy to even get up and start to do things and I do exercise and eat right everyday and on my good days really can feel OK but its still a struggle to do anything and I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

                • Jonathan Gray
                  April 12, 2014 at 10:40 PM #

                  So you express an opinion when you know it will hurt someone? If you do this, then you INTEND to hurt, because you could simply keep your big mouth shut. This is the behaviour of a child.

                  As you get older, you come to realise your goddamn opinions are of very little consequence. Keep your mouth shut, no-one cares what you think, and no-one needs to hear them. Your desire to express them is of no consequence either.

                  I’ll take the opinions of medical professionals, not self-entitled morons like you.

                  • Natalie
                    April 13, 2014 at 10:32 AM #

                    Yet you can call people morons and children? When the same insults were not dealt to you.

                    Please stop manufacturing insult and then we can begin to talk and understand.

                  • Arby
                    April 13, 2014 at 11:35 AM #

                    I don’t follow your thinking. Toma is not in ear-shot of you. This is his blog; you came to visit. Why would he shut his month about his opinion when he created this site to share his ideas with those inclined to read them.

                    I understand disagreeing with his ideas/opinion/POV, but disagreeing with his right to post them. Illogical.

            • Mr Cellophane
              November 23, 2013 at 11:22 AM #

              Sarah, let’s clear something up. ALL THAT MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE is an extreme at one end of a spectrum of behaviors, where “normal” is some range closer to the middle. So yes, there is a normal range of binge eating as well as a less normal range.

              Mental disorders are characterized by 3 things: Deviance from the norm (what I stated above), Dysfunction (that the behaviors are getting in the way of functional daily life), and Distress (that the person is unhappy with the behavior). All 3 of these things lie on a spectrum.

              There is no exact line on the spectrum where one set of behaviors qualifies as an “illness” and another qualifies as “normal.”

              Before you get your panties in a wad, let me clarify: Yes, there are specific diagnostic criteria for mental illnesses. However, labels have been invented and assigned to certain sets of behaviors for the purpose of making things easier to treat, NOT for the purpose of giving excuses. Researchers said, “Hey, there are all these people who have a lot of these same problems. And they all seem to have something similar going on in their biology and/or medical history and/or childhood and/or life stressors. And, MOST IMPORTANTLY, they all seem to show some improvement when we try treatments X, Y, and Z. Let’s put a label on them!”

              If someone can look at themselves and realize they are having similar problems as that certain labelled group, it’s a hell of a lot more useful in changing those problems than if they had no idea what’s wrong with them. THAT, Sarah, is the purpose of calling something an illness. Fuck, that’s the entire purpose of the field of psychiatry.

              If someone acts like an asshole and knows it, says they can’t help it because of a disorder, and has absolutely no interest in changing these behaviors, then they’re just an asshole. They may or may not actually meet the criteria of a certain disorder, but that’s irrelevant to being an asshole.

              • ted norton
                November 23, 2013 at 11:28 AM #

                Maybe ignorance isn’t an illness, but there is a sure fire treatment for it nonetheless. thanks Mr. Cellophane.

            • newzbug
              November 23, 2013 at 1:01 PM #

              I just can’t figure out where these “stupid” people came from. They try to enforce their beliefs on others. Try to tell others their illness doesn’t exist. Well, if my illness doesn’t exist, neither does your headache. Or your sore back or your high blood pressure. You just make it up to get out of working, or going to a relatives house. I am so sick of this. Some people will never change and the guy who wrote this article is one of them. They talk about having an open mind when in fact they have already made up their minds. F#CK YOU Sara and Toma…that is about the only phrase you will ever understand. I feel so sorry for your families.

              • Bob
                February 12, 2014 at 12:29 PM #

                Amen, brother! I don’t get where these assholes come off making statements like this from things they have NEVER experienced. It’s amazing that they HONESTLY believe their bullshit, that they are somehow superior because they choose to be more positive than people who suffer from depression. I smell some nasty narcissism at work here…

              • Natalie
                April 9, 2014 at 10:29 PM #

                It is disheartening to see yor extreme reaction to another neutral opinion. It seems unbearable to so many when they sense less than free-flowing sympathy.

            • newzbug
              November 24, 2013 at 4:00 AM #

              Do you know anyone with a serious depressive illness? Family, friends? Do you tell them that their depression isn’t real? You better get to it. You have a lot of people to inform of your “intelligent” discovery….NOT

              • ted norton
                November 25, 2013 at 5:40 AM #

                EXACTLY. WHY HANG OUT IN A BLOG SPREADING IGNORANCE WHEN YOU CAN JUST GO STRAIGHT UP TO REAL HUMANS AND OFFEND THEM IN PERSON WITH IGNORANCE AND INHUMANE JUDGEMENTS. I stand by everything I say on this page and I would say to anyone in person and I know it would not worsen their condition or make them more self loathing nor would it close doors to further, more effective treatment and the simple comfort that other human beings actually CARE what they are going through.

                • Natalie
                  April 9, 2014 at 10:30 PM #

                  Then go check out a support forum, Ted Norton. That’s the best place to go for caring support.

            • Lisa
              December 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM #

              Do some research and then tell us how you feel. You honestly don’t know a damn thing you’re talking about.

            • Ray
              December 16, 2013 at 10:17 AM #

              Tell me, why is it that people seem to be able to accept that any organ in your body get sick, and yet, as soon as someone mentions a mental illness, people tell us that “It’s all in your head. It’s not real. Get over it. You’re selfish.” Why is it that people can accept that any organ in your body can get sick… but not the brain? Is the brain not an organ? Is it not a part of your body? Please explain to me why you feel justified in telling a person with a mental illness that, not only is their suffering “not an illness” but that it is their fault? Are you going to go tell a person with leukemia that it’s their fault that they have an abnormal increase of immature white blood cells, and that they should just get over it, and stop being so selfish? No? Then why in the world would you go around telling people with mental illnesses that they should just get over their chemical imbalance in their brain? That it’s their fault that their neurones work in such a way as that it affects their behaviour?

              • Estaban Haroon
                December 16, 2013 at 10:49 AM #

                Are you seriously comparing cancer to depression?
                How spoiled and self-absorbed does a person have to be to compare involuntary, brutal death to “I CANT HANDLE THIS MUNDANE PAIN THAT IM TOO STUPID TO DEAL WITH SO IM ENDING MY LIFE”. When people are actually sick with diseases they actually have no power on they tend to fight and deny their illness, so why is it that people with depression so desperately cling to the fact that depression is an illness? Why is it that a dying 40 year old man will deny that his heart is weak and attempt to carry on with his life while a 24 year old whines about how his/her illness, is in fact, an illness. It’s the fact that you continue to cling to anything that says that you have no power over yourself makes your illness less valid.

                • Laura
                  January 1, 2014 at 2:26 PM #

                  Yeah, right. The thing I can’t handle right now is your stupidity. Depressed people are just stupid, thus kill themselves. What an intelligent statement to make.
                  How about this: If you have no idea what you’re talking about, just shut up.

                  Lots of people die of cancer, lots of people dealing with severe depression end up taking their own lifes. Now tell me, where’s the difference? Why is it “better” to die of cancer?

                  • Estaban Haroon
                    January 1, 2014 at 2:50 PM #

                    It’s that mentality right there. The way you worded it. “Why is it “BETTER” to die of cancer.”. I don’t even know where to begin in explaining how horribly wrong a statement that is to make. But let me tell you why it is more VALID to die of cancer than it is to die of depression. Because the difference between dying of cancer and dying of depression is the difference between dying of a common cold just because you didn’t want to wear a sweater and being stabbed in the face.

                    People with depression are dumb and that’s why they kill themselves, yes. You are human. You have the most intricate and powerful brain known to exist. The strongest thing in the known universe and what do you use it for? Destroying your own self internally because you’re too stubborn and stupid to let go of a shitty mentality. If you ask me that is not only dumb but pathetic.

                    • Anonymous
                      January 9, 2014 at 10:23 AM #

                      Your statement that people who suffer from depression are dumb is a sweeping generalization and is therefore invalid. There are many studies, including a large one in 2012 with over one million participants, that have actually found that high IQ and creativity are linked with mental illnesses, such as depression, anorexia nervosa, and schizophrenia. The DARPPA-32 gene is a primary suspect in this link. This is not to say that all people suffering from mental illnesses are brilliant because there are many factors contributing to mental illness, however you cannot accurately say that all people with depression are unintelligent.

                    • Estaban Haroon
                      January 10, 2014 at 4:03 PM #

                      First of all, as you said, IQ doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe people with a high IQ just have a tendency to get into a redundant infinite loop up their own asses, I don’t know. I just like to use the term dumb because, really, depression is the only kind of thing you can really refer to as dumb. If someone is having learning issues then they’re just not adept in that field, but if someone wants to kill themselves because they’re so far up their own asses that they won’t see the outside then I think that qualifies them as dumb regardless of how “intelligent” they may be. I also like to use the term dumb because most people with depression need to see the flaw in their mentality and I feel like dumb is an adequate term to convey that.

                      There are, obviously, people who are just born with a chemical imbalance that makes it more likely for them to have depressed thoughts and those people are influenced from birth to think like that and can’t really be blamed. But the vast majority of people with depression at this day and age brought depression upon themselves and those are the people that I refer to as dumb.

                    • troubled21yearold
                      January 30, 2014 at 4:17 PM #

                      When I was younger I always wondered how depression manifested itself. How I was seemingly happy and though I had a less than perfect life. I enjoyed life and thought everything about it was beautiful. The ability to feel pleasure, pain, emphathy, understanding was mystifyingly perfect. I sought to understand the universe and studied physics, philosophy and psychology. After a combination of very devastating experiences including PTSD I delved into a state that had stripped me of my ability to be happy. I could not find the energy or desire to get off my bed, and realized the illusory state of the human mind. What meaning do our finite existence in all of space time hold? Perhaps some of this was outside the scope of normal people that only care about Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber’s new scandals. I realized that I needed and desperately wanted to feel happy again. I changed my lifestyle to exercising 6 days a week, was more involved in social gatherings, and was very successful in the science community. Yet despite, these efforts something was still off. I was not my old self. I could not enjoy the simple pleasures of life and felt guilty for feeling this way when there were people worse off. The last three years of my life have been actively spent trying desperately to be happy, think positive thoughts, love others, learn the philosophy of great philosophers about happiness, and dwelling on various religions and they’re interpretations. It did feel better than staying in my bed all day (albeit it was difficult to find the energy to change my lifestyle around especially for a depressed individual). However, I still deal with obstacles of anxiety, emptiness, lack of motivation and energy. I try harder to be happy than most yet come short of theirs. I have hope that one day I’ll be able to feel and live the life that I once felt even in it’s most imperfect state. However, I have ever told anyone I was depressed. I only recently found out and it makes sense and gives me hope that with help of medication I can begin to enjoy life again. I realize now what the condition feels like, and I can assure you I did not choose it. If you felt this way, you would really understand the complexities of the illnesss. There is much to be learned by both sides of the argument: 1. depression is not a choice or a way to victtimize oneself in an attempt for attention. It is real and a great epidemic in the western world. 2. The western world has a lifestyle that does not suit us or our health and there are certain steps that we must take to help our illness. Ignorance and intolerance has always been the basis for the atocities of mankind, and if we are to keep those traits mankind will never progress.

                    • Toma
                      January 30, 2014 at 4:21 PM #

                      You should read a book called Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

                    • Estaban Haroon
                      February 4, 2014 at 11:15 AM #

                      You can try all you want but it wont happen unless you truly want it and truly believe that you can achieve it. YOU are the element that needs to be changed here. It’s not an extension of you that’s fucking you up, it’s not everyone else it’s your very core. Your core mentality is shit. Sure, sometimes your core can be influenced by the outside, sometimes people around you can be happy and you get happy too. But ultimately the only person that truly has the choice to change their core is you and you don’t want to because it’s too difficult or too different or whatever the fuck. So you go out and try to do things in hopes that maybe you maybe influenced by the outside rather than influencing your own damn self which is what most psychiatrists would have their patients do because they know all their patients are lazy pieces of shit. I admire the effort. Your situation is infinitely more valid than most of the other depressed people that don’t even have half a mind to change. And I think you might really be ‘cured’ this way. But my point still stands.

                      If we say the depression is out of our control we regress. We progress by having a better understanding and control of ourselves and by excerpting the colossal power of our brains that separates us from the animals.

                    • Tealessence
                      February 6, 2014 at 5:04 PM #

                      So, I suffer from MDD along with various other diagnoses, and have attempted suicide multiple times. I must be stupid, right? Then why do I have an IQ of 142? I’d wager your IQ is about… negative 40.

                    • Toma
                      February 6, 2014 at 5:35 PM #

                      Our minds create so much noise, even more so with higher intelligence. It has nothing to do with stupidity.

                  • Natalie
                    April 9, 2014 at 10:31 PM #

                    Putting words in someone’s mouth: a reliable way to get yourself angry every time.

                • Adelissa
                  March 22, 2014 at 1:18 PM #

                  I have had cancer, I have had anxiety and major depression. I would take physical suffering over mental suffering any day. I truly hope all of you with the opinion that we are just weak selfish people who don’t want to get better never say things like that to a depressed family member. And frankly, I don’t care what you believe, if you can’t put kindness and compassion first.

                • De'Anna
                  March 23, 2014 at 3:08 PM #

                  Now let’s say all this medical technology didn’t exist. People got sick and it would just be so strange and curious how a person could suddenly change. They would cough blood, faint, or just die. People would be accused of not being helpful and probably even killed on spot when people start getting contagious. Now let’s compare ‘that’ to ‘this’. See much difference? We don’t have the technology to PROVE that depression is just a feeling. Or the other way around. We can’t even PROVE it’s in the head. All we have to cling on is seriously painful migraines, emotional changes, and feeling slow. We can’t find anything with the technology we have, and we have no idea how to advance it. Every depressed person in this world isn’t suicidal, and most aren’t spoiled. If you had depression you would know the suicide is more in the head than it is attempted. You lose sanity, freak out, and start to only see the fucked up parts of life (drugs, abuse, pessimism, etc). If you have ever seen Eeyore from Winnie the pooh then take him, max his slowness and pessimism by ten, stick him in u.s.a, and paint the whole world in gray scale. If you actually try to see it then maybe you can understand how scary it is. Not to mention depression DOES have physical problems involved as well. Depression can run in families just like cancer…just like any illness. I can also tell you most suicides in america don’t come from depression, but anxiety. If you want to someone call names learn support yourself with some REAL information and not just your ‘human instinct’. Because if you haven’t noticed yet it’s that ‘human instinct’ that’s killing this world.
                  I survived cancer. I have depression. I’m still alive, and I approve this message.

          • Estaban
            November 30, 2013 at 2:32 PM #

            If depression was simply an illness that was just “there”, regardless of the person, then why is it more common in people who have shitty pasts and a history of being abused.

            • Kylie
              December 1, 2013 at 12:47 PM #

              Ever heard of neuroplasticity? Events can change brain structure and chemistry.Would you say someone who had a heart attack did not have an illness while many with heart problems have it because of past behaviors and events? More people need to think before they speak.

              • Estaban
                December 1, 2013 at 3:23 PM #

                I didn’t deny that it was an illness, I denied that it was just “there”. People with heart attacks tend to be people with shitty dietary choices. The same way people with depression tend to be people with shitty mental choices. Just because it’s an illness it doesn’t mean you had no hand it and it doesn’t mean that it’s “out of your power” to do anything about it and it certainly doesn’t mean that you should start romanticizing it and treating as anything more than a shitty way of thinking that you, by your own standards, shouldn’t be engaged in.

                • Gwen
                  December 9, 2013 at 2:04 PM #

                  You are possibly the biggest idiot I have ever encountered on the internet. First you say that depression tends to be more prevalent in people who have a history of being abused…and then you say that “people with depression tend to be people with SHITTY MENTAL CHOICES” so a person who was abused as a child chose to be abused?? You really need to re-read what you say before you submit it. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming that you didn’t mean to word that the way you did…no person can be this moronic. Also, I can assure you that there are people in this world who had great childhoods/lives and suffer from depression and other mental illnesses. Do you also think that schizophrenia is a choice? It is so easy to google these (and many other) topics in this day and age…do some damn research.

                  • Estaban
                    December 9, 2013 at 3:03 PM #

                    I’m sorry I assumed people had the common sense to see how the two statements do not contradict each other. Depression is more common with people that have had a history of abuse, yes. Depression is a result of a “shitty mentality”, yes. What I was saying was, depression is a result of dealing with tragedy or general negativity in a dumb way. Depression is more common in people who have been abused as children because kids are dumb and are more likely to deal with the negativity incorrectly and stick with that mentality but ultimately it is still their choice to have thought that way. People with perfectly normal childhoods can also develop depression if they so choose to deal with pain in a demented way. If people with depression begin to recognize that they are creatures of free will and that they are responsible for the person they are, they can also begin to recognize that they can choose to be someone different using that very same free will. It becomes more and more difficult as you grow up and that shitty way of thought becomes a part of you and your brain begins to physically reflect it but it’s not at all impossible.

                    • Nando
                      December 9, 2013 at 4:20 PM #

                      TOMA I dont know why you even have this blog. You should immediatley deactivate this blog. I dont believe free will has anything do doo with mental illness. Oh and by the way people that have hart attacks are not because they have poor nutrition or choose unhealthy diatery choices. I dont know why you dont do your reasearch. And really you should leave out religion. I am very happy for you that you dont suffer mental illness. And I am quite surprised, because you come across as being a very caring and intelligent human being. Because if you didnt care you would not of put up this blog. I base mental illness on scientific research and facts. Religion on the other hand regarding free will should be left out of the equation dont you?

                    • Jay
                      December 17, 2013 at 6:10 AM #

                      children are dumb and more likely to deal with abuse in an “incorrect” way??? Did you seriously say that? There is no right or wrong way to deal with trauma. Let’s beat, belittle, deprive, starve, rape, and yell at you and see how “correctly” you handle it. Since you’re so smart.

                    • Estaban
                      December 17, 2013 at 8:54 AM #

                      Of course there’s an incorrect way to deal with pain. I’m not completely sure as to how I specifically would deal with intense negative emotions but I know that there is definitely a wrong way of going about it. If a kid cut themselves as a method of coping with rape could you possibly think that their method of dealing with the pain is not “incorrect” but simply “different”.

                    • Rawbert
                      December 31, 2013 at 9:58 AM #

                      Let me just chime in here. I have read a lot of the reply’s on this site and have to agree that everyone has a valid point as to their own perspective. But the truth is there and stated many times. Depression is a serious “malfunction” of the brain. I am an individual that strongly believes that depression is something that an individual can beat. I have had bouts of depression….and I have overcome those bouts by first looking at how I see things. (perspective) I have a sister that was diagnosed with Severe Depression. She was medicated for years…and nothing worked. Until I explained to here how to handle the thoughts that created the “malfunction”. There are POC’s and POD’s. There are points of creation and points of destruction. And it is our own responsibility to ourselves to look at our past and recognize those points. That is not an easy task. But it is something that can be obtained. I have an 13 year old daughter who has been diagnosed with depression and put on medication for it. But through thoughtful conversations, she has been able to understand how to recognize these points and eliminate them from her thought process. She is no longer depressed and no longer on meds. So when the individuals state that depression is something that is created in our heads by how we as individuals respond to emotional conflict….they are correct…..with out a doubt!
                      I hope that each person that deals with depression, will first look to themselves for the answer to their happiness.

                    • Toma
                      December 31, 2013 at 10:11 AM #

                      … And if they can’t find it within themselves, they can find it in something greater than themselves.

                      Beautifully written. Thank you.

                    • Anonymous
                      January 9, 2014 at 6:34 PM #

                      I’m moderately convinced that you are a troll. If not, please try to present an educated opinion as opposed to your obvious current ignorance of neurophysiology and development. I strongly suggest this since you are choosing to put down others. Also, please, for the love of god, stop using the term “dumb”. A few alternative words I believe you could use in place of it (after reading a few of your posts) are illogical, unintelligent, misguided, or self destructive. Thanks.

                • mrt
                  February 16, 2014 at 6:16 PM #

                  Really? So I chose to be abused by my dad when I was younger?

                  • Estaban Haroon
                    February 18, 2014 at 11:35 AM #

                    No, but you chose to let it dictate the rest of your life.

                    • Lee
                      April 5, 2014 at 4:56 AM #

                      Oh darling, it’s hilariously naive of you to believe this. I find it pretty astounding that you can show that little sympathy. Either you’ve lived an incredibly sheltered and privileged life, or you simply have superhuman abilities to overcome obstacles/ debilitating setbacks in life. Based on the level of your arguments, I’m more inclined to believe that it’s the former. Suffering from abuse in your childhood, especially when one is so impressionable, DEFINITELY leave a mark on the child. I’m not saying it’s impossible to overcome it. Often people do, and that’s great! But it is INCREDIBLY hard. By saying this, not only are you insulting those that are not able to overcome their mental illnesses as a cause of abuse but also disregarding the immense struggle that ALL of them, whether successfully or not, have put into getting back to a normal. Your manner of splitting everything into neat boxes without a sense of its complexities is very worrying.

                    • Toma
                      April 7, 2014 at 1:45 PM #

                      We all have superhuman abilities, and they rest in the human spirit. God is superhuman, and our spirit is a piece of Him. When we tap into it, superhuman things happen. Too many people throughout history have experienced it for it to not be true.

                    • RJ
                      April 30, 2014 at 12:37 AM #


                  • Toma
                    February 26, 2014 at 1:23 PM #

                    No, and that’s fucked up, but what you do today is a choice.

            • De'Anna
              March 23, 2014 at 3:15 PM #

              Who knows. When you die, maybe you can ask their ancestors. Depression can run in families. Yet, it also just appears based on your emotions.
              But it’s not the only problem that can run in families and appear based on something else.
              There are a lot of problems like that.
              So why can’t it be an illness?

          • Rahul Sharma
            December 4, 2013 at 6:01 AM #

            but im sorry depression is not real , its a kin to a self inflicted wound , for every man depressed with his life there are 200 other people with ridiculously hard lives living happily because they choose to go on with life despite its shortcomings

            • newzbug
              December 4, 2013 at 7:53 AM #

              So tell me, “Doctor”, what is your evidence to support your ridiculous idea?

            • newzbug
              December 4, 2013 at 7:57 AM #

              So Mr. KnowsAll, to whom is “Depression” not related. You response of “a kin” is incorrect as this implies a person being related to another. However if you used the word properly it would be “akin”…ONE WORD.

            • Depressed and trying to heal because I want a happy Life.
              December 4, 2013 at 10:47 AM #

              Every person wants to believe in their opinion so strongly, even if a doctor told them depression was real they still wouldn’t believe it. It’s sad to say that depression isn’t real. It’s really a idiotic thing to say, like any condition it can surface and it can go away. In my opinion Depression is like a addiction, when a person has been down for so long, it’s hard for them to take themselves out without proper help. Many people get depression over a death and they’re so sad that they can died themselves, not die by killing their self with an object, but died from sorrow, now tell me that is not a illness. For someone like myself, I truly believe that depression is all in the head and is an addiction. I know that with proper treatment, like counseling and active to work to redirect thinking into a positive state anyone with depression can get better.

              I can say that depression might start from a selfish place. When I was younger I didn’t understand most things, like know if my mother didn’t show me love that it’s her problem and not mine. I ached so bad for my mother to treat me nice, I always thought she didn’t like me. She would take my money, sell my toys, and not talk to me sometimes. Sometime it seemed she would do those things for my brother and not me. I was only 4 years old thinking like this. (Yes 4 I have a good memory because my past hurts me a lot.) When I was 8 my mother passed and so did my father. My father was the only person I felt love from and it sadden me that he left, that they both left because I still needed my mothers love that I never got. The day my mother died I seen her spirit and it tromtized me for 4 years which caused me to have major anxiety problems. I became timid, needy, and I felt alone, I’ve carried the same feeling with me and I always looked for it in my friends and other family members. However I never could find it within them, so when I was in high school I had a year when everyone sad and very hurtful things to me, so i went into major withdrawal and depression. Years of accumulated stress and sorrow, that;s a lot of work to be done and time to be healed.

              I understand the means of positive thinking and like most people with depression I seek help, but it doesn’t stop me from crashing every six months into a major depression. I could go on for 5 months with a positive mind and do positive things, but eventually i become over whelmed and crash into a depression. I try to keep pushing when i feel my crash is coming along, but then i start to get irritated, restless, sick to my stomach, and eventually violent if I can’t find somewhere to be depressed.

              It’s a sad story and I wish I could stop it, but it take time for people to get over depression and things.First they just have to be willing to understand what their negative thinking is coming from. Once a depressed person has detected that, they be able to control their emotions more. It’s a serious process but it has to start some where.


              • newzbug
                December 4, 2013 at 3:44 PM #

                Sometimes your refusal to believe in your illness is one of the ways to never get over it at all. Yes, this is an illness in your brain. Mental, if you want. In many ways like you I thought that if I had x number of years with depression it would take the same amount of years to get better. But it doesn’t work that way. The reason meds stop working is simple. When the brain/mind is “sick with depression” for such a long time … you find this “normal” status as OK. But when your body chemistry gets attack with drugs, and all that time, your body is trying to go back to it’s original state. And when it does, or nearly does, that is when your depression/normal state breaks thru the drugs.

                A lot of people will never be convince of another opinion. Especially if they were brought up with that belief. I believe that Toma thinks what he thinks because his mind cannot comprehend it. I suppose if we come up with a good enough analogy then MAYBE it will sink in. But I doubt it. I have better things to do with my life than argue with people.

                I have read enough medical and scientific literature to back up my beliefs. That is all I need.

              • jgrieme91
                April 3, 2014 at 9:14 AM #

                Dear woefully ignorant author,

                Look, I understand your frustration at depression. It comes from the same root that I have with OCD. People use the terms colloquially. However, the clinical diagnosis while syntactically the same, is not the same semantically.

                “Depression isn’t real.” That is an interesting statement. You see it isn’t real, but that is because an illness is something that is only real to the person experiencing it. Of course we can deduce cancer by building up similar cases, and then it is a real diagnosis. You confuse your language if you say depression is not real. Take a basic class in linguistics then try to comment on language.

            • I Could Be Gumby
              December 4, 2013 at 1:49 PM #

              My god you’re such a blockhead. Those people, that one in every 200 you describe, Rahul, the reason why they cannot get on with their lives is because of the depression. When will you blockheads learn that depression is NOT momentary sadness, but something that envelops your whole. It’s numbness, it’s darkness, its lack of drive and motivation. It’s this thing you want to kill but it seems insurmountable. Depression is a black hole. That is an apt description. It’s pull is so strong that getting out of it feels impossible. And the depressed don’t lack drive and motivation because they are lazy, it is because the mechanisms in the brain that create drive are more or less malfunctioning. They try to get back on their feet but it is VERY VERY difficult.

              Once again, I need to call you a blockhead. Because you are. It is sad knowing that there are people in this world that are so thick.

          • Michele
            December 18, 2013 at 4:41 PM #

            Agreed Emma, Yes. Exactly this. The author sounds very young and naive and ignorant as to what depression actually is and all it entails. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. My dance with the black dog is continuous and has nothing to do with whatever is going on in my life. It just is.

            • Manuel
              December 19, 2013 at 6:40 AM #

              If it was so tragic then why do your romanticize it?

          • Amanda
            December 24, 2013 at 11:16 AM #

            word sista ‘

          • Right.
            December 25, 2013 at 7:30 AM #

            Agreed Emma, the author may have a mental understanding a number of others don’t, which makes him look very ignorant, immature, and cold in is relaying of his observation. Certainly by all means does not make him right, and in the way he approach’s it leaves one wondering how such an article could make it to a site about being human and presented as a source of spiritual growth. His perspective ironically shines on gaps and ignorance. It’s interesting too that he talks about the ego being the problem, while at the same time there is so much of his personal egocentricity throughout the article. Now that kind of ego is worse than someone who’s struggling within, and certainly not a positive concept to teach others.. I would suggest to sit down and discuss with someone why they are struggling and present information in a positive, constructive way – don’t tell them they’re just being selfish and that depression is not “real”. LOL Yeah, that explains it all. What a wonderful silver bullet, heck I feel better now too!

          • Carob
            December 30, 2013 at 6:12 AM #

            Agree to the fullest level. Ignorant article written by someone who obviously has never experienced depression. Do you think a mother who’s twinn daughters died at birth is selfish because of depression. Pompous uneducated a$&

          • The cakes
            December 31, 2013 at 4:44 PM #

            I absolutely agree with you Emma! In contrast, I know some of the things that have probably contributed to my depression! The loss of my child, a surgical procedure that left me with broken screws in my neck and I now live in constant pain! Then add an unwanted divorce to that! These are things that one has no control over! A drunk took the life of my baby and almost took my life as well. Then you add to that the physical pain that i now live in and then the unwanted divorce. How is this selfish? It is as though a bar has been set before me and I either clear the bar or I don’t! Well, I am unable to get over the bar and in fact am just about at the point of removing the bar; I have finally relized after years that I can not get over the bar. I have run for so long in an attempt to pretend that these problems will somehow go away but they don’t and they won’t! I have finally admitted to myself that i can not clear this bar! My life will not ever be the same but the real problem is that I can not live like this! I am both physically and mentally tortured on a daily basis! I wish this fool could walk in my shoes for even a year; then write what it is like! I would be willing to wager quite a bit that the paper would read very different than this one! A good example of selfish would be the drunk who got behind the wheel and wagered his life and everyone else’s on the road that night so that he could get to his next destination! My newyears resolution is to not make it to 2014! May god be more forgiving than this man who thinks I am selfish!

          • spectrm312
            January 9, 2014 at 8:31 AM #

            Absolute bollocks. I was depressed, even suicidal, exactly once. As soon as I realized that my existence impacts others and that others give a damn, it ended and never returned.

            I wonder if you understand evolution enough to understand that if depression ‘just happened’ as some kind of phenotypic expression, natural selection would’ve removed it long ago. There is no science behind depression studies, just conjecture and psychotropic drugs.

            Nothing complicated about it.

            • Science
              January 25, 2014 at 5:06 AM #

              First of all, evolution is not perfect. There are other mental illnesses natural selection should have “gotten rid of”, such as schizophrenia which I highly doubt anyone who’s meant someone with the illness would say they’re “faking it”. Same with Bipolar disorder and bipolar mania where some people have psychosis. Second, evolution happens over a longer period of time to eliminate negative features via natural selection. Longer than homo sapiens have walked the earth. Not to mention, we’re very good at keeping people alive and functional who would have probably been weeded out by natural selection as you claim. I wonder if YOU understand evolution as much as you claim you do. Pick up a book. Take a class in evolutionary biology. Then come back and see if you say the same thing. Or maybe it’s too complicated for you to understand so in your mind you oversimplify it so you can feel intelligent.

          • ange
            January 23, 2014 at 3:09 PM #

            I agree with you Emma I had post partum depression it was so crazy the true feeling of depression I have felt sad or upset about things & thought that was depression but hell no the truth is real depression is a crazy feeing I cant even explain I would actually have visions almost dream like times like I was standing out side my body & coudnt help myself all I could do is watch. don’t ever let people tell you depression isn’t real only a doctor can truly tell you if what your issues are is depression or just feeling a strong down on your self.

            • Toma
              January 23, 2014 at 3:24 PM #

              Standing outside of your body? Kind of like standing in the periphery, staring at your own centre?


              • divya
                April 3, 2014 at 11:42 AM #

                toma , i’m not going to call u wrong or right! i just want to ask a question to which i need an answer! have u ever experienced depression? and if yes how severe…did u not take any medical help and just used the super powers of ur supernatural brain to heal it? :)

          • colin sanderson
            February 5, 2014 at 10:11 AM #

            I think it it is a poor translation to say selfish, but more in line with buddhist beliefs to say that the ego is a cause of all suffering. But even relief from the suffering by meditation and mindfulness does not take away the slow thinking and the feeling of wading through mud. Its like you have been drugged and you have, its the chemical factory in our own body that has decided by mistake that to feel this way will be of some benefit.

          • sasha
            February 19, 2014 at 1:09 PM #

            this is the dumbest thing i have ever read depression is not something you just get over. what if your depressed because all you do is think of others and try to be happy, understand yourself. never being selfish and always giving while there is always someone taking. what about if your family disowns you for you trying to think for yourself and have your own belief. i think it is an illness and its peoples personality that helps control it. some times everyone cracks at the breaking point no matter what triggered it everything can take a toll after awhile. what if you have been raped and are depressed because it stops you from having control thats not being selfish is it ??

          • Odey
            February 20, 2014 at 3:35 AM #

            I agree with you Emma.. and think this article is very judgmental based on an individualistic philosophy… ive lived most of my life in a poor country and i have been fighting depression since eight years has nothing to do with rich or poor.. it all about circumstances… i cant simply change the way i think about something that i have to live with for the rest of my life.. i’m loosing the joy of my youth because of this and you come tell me .. think positive?? how can you make such a judgement??.. you dont know me or know what ive been through to come tell me that im selfish and just “change the way you think”

          • Dovydas
            March 12, 2014 at 1:02 AM #

            That is nonsense. You are arguing only because you cannot admit being a selfish. No reason.. there is always a reason. My prove to you – think about the example of your SAD day or moment, are you feeling lonely, does everything look meaningless around so you start analysing purpose of life, how to find true love.. Call it depression if you want because you look from your perspective, but when I look at person like this from my point of view – he/she look selfish. I am maybe alone but occupy myself with activity that is interesting so no time for stupid thoughts. Of course it is difficult to force yourself to something when you dont find any internal drive to do it, doesnt please you and doesnt please anyone else. Where should you start then to get out of this whirpool.. My point is that depression is real, because otherwise it would not exist, but important thing is to understand that its existence is only because we made it to exist with our addictive lifestyle, and im talking not about you but about all society where you ended up in. My suggestion is to take some medication if its too hard to deal with it on your own, but dont waste medication, think of them as a quite poisonous rope that helps you step out from deeper levels of that whirpool but if you use that rope just to hold on and not move out of there (like feel good but spend your days in same routine as you had before), eventually its not going to hold you anymore and you will sink even deeper..

            • impossiblegirl
              April 1, 2014 at 5:47 PM #

              Wow, are being lonely, a bit existential or ‘true love’ the only examples of things that could make someone depressed that you can think of?

              How lovely that you’ve had such a beautiful life you can’t even imagine things that could make someone depressed. I suppose a person is still selfish if they’ve lost a baby, or been raped?

              Anyway, there’s a difference between periods of minor depression (which many people get, and which can turn into something more severe) and depressive disorders.

              Minor depression is caused by a trigger and can be overcome (sometimes with therapy and medication, sometimes by exercise, clean eating and support). A depressive disorder is literally caused by synapses in your brain that produce serotonin not communicating. It’s physically impossible to have (or believe) happy thoughts if your brain is producing no serotonin. And it affects your entire body, too, making it impossible to get up or function sometimes.

              SSRIs or SSNRIs, the medications for depression, increase serotonin, but for me, they also lubricate the synapses in my brain that don’t work and make them communicate again. I NEED my medication to even be happy some of the time; if I didn’t have it, that would be impossible.

              It’s not a minor thing that can be cured with positive thinking, it’s a medical condition that stays with someone their whole life (I’ve had mine since about 8 years old, despite having a wonderful family and life up till then). It can go into ‘remission’, and not bother you for months or years, and then turn up again out of nowhere.

              Try having Major Depressive Disorder combined with a Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Then try to tell me the only thing medication will do is worsen the condition.

          • Jeana
            March 15, 2014 at 4:57 PM #

            I like this comment and emma youre right. Depression is when people are sad and its an illness. God Damn! Maybe the author doesnt even know how depression feels like. Its such a judgement to say that being depression is when sad people are sadder than most people so we aint trying to get attention we just need help!

          • fiona
            March 24, 2014 at 10:51 PM #

            Hello there, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this… may I share with you a little of my understanding in the hope that it may help you. …Depression BECOMES an illness ( or disease = dis-ease/not at ease) but noone starts out with this. What the author of this has said is absolutely true. We start out with negative thoughts and they then TRIGGER negative chemicals in our brains- which then leads to an imbalance of chemicals. This obviously makes us feel depressed and have more negative thoughts which triggers more negative chemicals and the imbalance and feeling of depression increases into a state of hopelessness where we end up saying “I am depressed and nothing can help me” The problem with applying drugs to this creates a dependence on the drugs which carries with it anxiety lest the drug not be available, and in some cases shame that we have become dependent. It also ofcourse means there will be times of withdrawal from the drug and more negative thoughts and feelings will surge into the person, bringing of course more depression and more imbalance of chemicals and then a need to take a higher dose of anti-depressants – and round and round this vicious circle will go. As the author pointed out however is that our own brains have the capacity to produce ‘good chemicals’ and produce a balance in our heads- and this happens when we have positive thoughts.
            I suffered severe depression for ten years ( and I was a heavy-drinker too and suffered a lot of shame for all of this as well).. but when i became a christian ( I was prayed for at the height of the pain and fear after ten years) a certain repeated problem I had had for the last ten years stopped OVERNIGHT- it was so dramatic that I realised there must be a God. I was instantly changed and MOST of the depression left pretty well overnight…… HOWEVER, and this is important, humans beings are so capable of slipping back- and so was I!! A few years into my now very happy life something happened and i slipped back into feeling a bit sorry for myself but I heard a speaker come and say that as christians we had ”no right” to feel sorry for ourselves. That got my attention- I HONESTLY thought I had a ‘right’to feel sorry for myself— but apparently not!! This guy was saying that as God had rescued and healed us and given all we needed for today ( note- not tomorrow, but just today!) that we should be grateful for our God who provides for the day we are here. He said ( literally!) çount your blessings- from that day on prayed and told the Lord that I refused to feel sorry for myself. Instead my thoughts were focussed on what is good in the world. God loves us all and has given us the mechanism to have ‘balanced chemicals’in our heads- good, positive, loving and happy thoughts! This is God’s gift to us!
            Its true, we are in a battle and there is plenty pf evil on this planet– but God is looking at our hearts and helping us when we turn to Him or turn to what is good. We do not need to STAY down ( yes, we all fall occasionally, but we can get up again! ) – God has put many good things and people on this planet… be of good cheer I have overcome the world! – that is what Jesus told us. Today you have HOPE- Jesus is real and died to pay the price of our sin by dying IN OUR PLACE- so we do not need to be separated anymore from God because of our sin ( wrongdoing/wrong thinking) ……Before you get up and before you go to sleep Force yourself to think of TEN things that are good and that you can be thankful for ( IVE done it to a HUNDRED!) – like I can see, hear, I have hair, I can move, someone loves me, someone is helping out of their love little animals who are hurt- for every negative their is a positive. If you keep at ths you wil eventually feel a little ping of happiness- if only for a mili-second…. Please, do NOT hold onto this depression- let go, because this is not what od created you for. Share your feelings with someone and share some good positive thoughts with yourself and others- and then get up and Thank God for this day which is given to you. God bless and do not worry because God truely loves you x x x

          • Lauren
            April 7, 2014 at 3:54 AM #

            I agree with this article to some degree. But as Emma says- I agree with her completely. Depression is something complicated and beyond measure. There are so many reasons why someone could be depressed. They don’t have to make sense to you. You don’t have to complain about people’s problems. The fact that you complain about someone else’s problems and calling them selfish. Makes you look retarded.

            I do hate how some depressants whine so much about their problems. But myself as a depressant dont do that. I won’t accept it.

            And you are wrong. It is not all about US. Its about YOU. The public causes us to drive ourselves crazy to strive to fit in. To strive to be happy and perfect. Everyone has problems. I know that. We do have to suck it and live it. There are obstacles in life.

            But if someone is depressed and are hurting themselves. They are depressed. That is what it is. Don’t complain about it just because you are too fucking twisted to understand.

            • Toma
              April 7, 2014 at 2:05 PM #

              And here we see one of the biggest problems we face as a society today. Everything is everyone else’s fault. When good shit happens, ‘I’ did it. When bad shit happens, ‘YOU’ did it.

              While I generally steer away from self-help-style books, I’ve started reading ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. It does a good job addressing this phenomenon early on. We need to stop pointing the finger. Change and improvement come from within.

              But you are correct in one sense. Society is driving us to be a certain why, and conforming to that way is causing us a lot of grief, only because how it is telling us to behave goes against every spiritual instinct that we have. We need truth now more than ever. The truth is that depression is caused by our own ego, nothing more.

          • northraccoon
            April 10, 2014 at 6:37 AM #

            I agree Emma. I have clinical depression. I’ve actually had tests done and it was found out that my gland system just does not release enough serotonin for me to function in a “non-depressive” state on its own. I will need my antidepressants for the rest of my life. My psychiatrist has told me that this is a real illness, and I don’t have anything wrong with my outlook on my life – only with my happy hormone levels and that will never change. Every time I go in to see him, we talk about the things that have happened in my months. I tell him if I’ve had a bad experience but I also understand that it is a temporary experience. Without the meds, it’s literally that I *can’t* feel “normal.”

            I wish more people would understand this about mood and mental illnesses and disorders. They are quite different than “I’m so depressed, my crush told me he has no interest” or whatever.

          • Blaise
            April 17, 2014 at 2:06 PM #

            I completely agree with Emma! Depression is NOT just like, “I’m sad because I don’t have this.” You have to see the bigger picture! To the author, the fact that you wrote this article proves you have never fought depression. Also, about the quote at the begginning, maybe some people stay in “prison” when the door is wide open because to them, the prison is a maze and they can’t find their way to the end where the wide open door is!

          • Eli
            April 19, 2014 at 9:25 AM #

            It’s all in your head… You probably live in the United States, or similar, have food on your table and a roof over your head, and much more if you have access to a computer. You write well, so education is there. I wonder what you could possibly be depressed about. And just like the author of this article stated, all I could hear on your post was “I,I,I” Just get up and do something in life. There are countless activites to keep your mind busy rather than dwelling on a tiny thing. Life is life, deal with it!

            I do sympathize with the family and friends that have to deal with your “problem”. Probably bring them down while you are at it !

          • Pollen
            April 22, 2014 at 6:07 AM #

            I agree with Emma and I partially agree with Toma. I think it is both. Some people have imbalances and that is just the way it is. Some people cause them with their thoughts. Those are the people who are only ever depressed once in their life and get over it. I think that even if you have an imbalance you also have to work on your thought process but it isn’t always possible without medication and mental heath help. Then there is the chronically depressed. The ones born that way. I am one of those. My mom swears it started as a baby, I couldn’t sleep I was picky with food, I was basically miserable and cried all the time. I NEVER had a good night sleep my entire life until medication and therapy and even then I still have a hard time. I always feel like shit. Always sad. I can ignore it for a time but it’s always there under the surface ready to come out at any moment. Oh and it isn’t even always about me! Holy shit Toma not all the depressed people are entirely selfish! Actually it’s often not about me. I get depressed because of the terrible things going on the world. I find it hard not to see all the bad everywhere in the world. I find it extremely hard to see any good. And believe me I try! The things I once loved to do can suddenly bring me no joy at all. Then there are the times I see the food I have to eat and I cry because there are people who are starving in the world. I read a newspaper or watch the news and hear about stuff like the Sandy Hook shooting and I am inconsolable for days. It isn’t all about me and to think that depression is just someone being selfish and having a pity party is pretty closed minded. Just because you haven’t experienced chronic long term depression doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Can completely changing the way you think stop someone from being depressed? Depends on the depression. For me it appears to take both medication and CBT/DBT, which by the way are both therapies to change the way you think. You know that mental health stuff that the doctors do that is apparently a bunch of horse shit. Oh yeah! Not all shrinks just let you bitch for hours on end they actually do make you look at situations differently and try to teach you how to think in more positive way. I guess Toma would have known that if he was actually knowledgeable on the subject but hey everyone is entitled to their opinion right?

          • lucyc
            May 1, 2014 at 9:30 AM #

            THANK YOU. This guy’s article is utter bullshit.

          • George fish
            May 30, 2014 at 7:43 AM #

            I agree with Emma, depression is actually medically identifiable, caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain

          • Kegan
            June 7, 2014 at 7:05 AM #

            I agree with you, Emma. I’ve have chronic depression and I guarantee you tom, nobody would genuinely want it. I was a fucking wreck and despite having good friends, interesting classes, and a supportive family I went absolutely insane I broke down crying over the smallest thing. The only thing that have helped have been counseling and meds. Chronic depression is an illness and it needs professional help. The most valid thing this page could be applied to is situational depression, which can be legitimately helped by positive thinking. To those who don’t understand the difference situational is like “my dog died, now I’m sad”, chronic is like “I’m sleeping way to much and crying at the most insignificant things. Stuff that used to make me happy doesn’t. And most importantly, there is NO trigger “. That’s the worst aspect with actual chronic depression, it’s very hard, near impossible, to ever feel happy even if you’re doing your favorite hobby or activity. So please stop confusing the two, they’re not the same and its very offensive to mix them up. Telling a chronically depressed person to stop being depressed is like telling a flu patient to stop being sick. And I know a lot of you are bringing up the placebo effect, and yes this is valid. A lot of research has been put into it and shown that it can be helpful. But depression cuts off the ability to be happy rendering it’s discussion on this page oddly miscellaneous. Furthermore its been shown to be an actual function that can be, interestingly enough, impaired by alzheimer’s. So you can be the happiest alzheimers patient you want and still not be aided by its effect. Its a biological function, not a magical cure.

            Those are my two cents,

          • J
            June 19, 2014 at 8:33 PM #

            Oh Emma I totally agree! Thank you for your response to this ignorant person. I have never been so annoyed at reading such nonsense. I have not read further than your comment or his follow up to his article. I will when I calm down. His ignorance angered me to the core, probably because it is so widespread, many believe like he does.

            Your response is in line with what I would have said. When will people finally accept that depression IS an illness. We are not talking about feeling unhappy for a few days….YOU cannot just snap out of it!

          • Chandler
            July 22, 2014 at 11:48 PM #

            thank you!

        • MB
          September 24, 2013 at 3:32 AM #


          • Toma
            September 28, 2013 at 8:16 AM #

            NO. BUT I HAVE MULTIPLE IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO HAVE, AND I DON’T TELL THEIR STORIES OUT OF RESPECT FOR THEIR PRIVACY. IF YOU ASK ANY DOCTOR THEY WILL GIVE YOU SOME SCIENTIFIC BS ABOUT HOW I AM HIGHLY PRONE TO IT. YET HERE I AM, DEPRESSION-FREE FOR A LIFETIME. One day I will tell their stories, but not now. For now all I will say is that in my family I am by far the most balanced, and by far the most spiritual.

            • Kim
              September 30, 2013 at 7:24 PM #

              Sorry I replied here. I didn’t see where else to comment. This article is making me feel even more depressed, and I am even crying right now out of frustration. I’ve been depressed since childhood, and I am far from selfish. I have always been a very giving person. In the past I’ve spent all my money and a lot of my time on people who definitely did not deserve it. I’ve helped people for free, given people my stuff just because they said they liked or wanted it, worked for free, given expensive gifts, done nice things and went out of my way for people and given all I had when there was nothing left for me, expecting and getting nothing in return. This article is making me think it was all definitely unappreciated, and is making me not want to deal with people any more if this is what they think of me. In fact I haven’t left the house in over a week since I read this. Why should I even be seen by people who automatically judge me as selfish when I’m not? I’d rather nobody know I exist.

              • Me
                October 2, 2013 at 2:22 PM #

                Sorry Kim. I’m with you. This guy is off base. It has nothing to do with “I didn’t accomplish this” like he ignorantly suggests. Everything in your life can be perfect and you may be depressed. He clearly hasn’t been depressed in his lifetime. Otherwise he’d know how miserably wrong he is. Absurd article.

                • Person
                  October 15, 2013 at 7:29 AM #

                  I totally agree. This article is massively insensitive. Dont you realize that people who are ACTUALLY depressed (Not just sad because they didn’t accomplish something as this guy describes) are depressed in part because they think extremely negatively of themselves? We don’t need you reinforcing those negative thoughts,

                  You also seem to be unable to draw the line between greed and basic human needs. I admit, the reason why I am depressed is because of the fact that everyone thinks I’m some creepy and wierd just because I have always been the quiet otaku type, and they always have for as long as I can remember (dating back to pre-school I was always “that” kid). I am severely depressed about it because I have no friends to speak of, and the severe social anxiety that I have developed as a result of everyone hating me for no good reason makes it so difficult to connect with people that it often seems hopeless. I can honestly say that I hate my social anxiety. I hate my depression. I wish I could just have one person who understands me, and I would give anything to someone offering me that without question.

                  But instead myself and others like me are constantly bombarded by even more hate messages from people like you, Toma. Is it really too much to ask to have just one person who understands you? Its a basic human need. To say that someone is selfish for needing human contact in place of a void of loneliness is like telling a man dying of thirst that he is selfish for asking for water. So fuck you. People like you are the reason I go to therapy.

                  • Golda Velez
                    November 2, 2013 at 5:56 AM #

                    Hey Person – Try writing – its a way of expressing your thoughts to the world and someone somewhere may find and read them and say ‘aha – that is me too!’
                    I don’t think you sound weird, I think a lot of people feel the same way. Try talking to people online, like at or some other fun networking place, its sometimes easier than in person.

              • Toma
                October 2, 2013 at 11:00 PM #

                Hi Kim. You remind me of a family member of mine. They are the most generous person you will ever meet. I can call them at 3am and they will come without a second thought. They will give you their heart and their life and never think twice about it. Yet, they suffer from depression. If selfishness is the cause, how is this possible? Didn’t I just prove myself wrong?

                Everyone needs to stop thinking of selfishness as having a corrupt and self-centred heart. Self-centerdness is the mind thinking that the world revolves around it. This family member, as truly warm-hearted as they are, still has a perspective which places them at the centre. When they do what you are doing their suffering is born of not being the centre. Your reference to being unappreciated strikes me as an example of it.

                • JD113
                  October 3, 2013 at 4:13 AM #

                  Everyone is selfish, depressed or not. You can’t single out depression and say that all are selfish. What about you? You have to have some sort of motivation to go on and do things in your everyday life. You tell yourself good positive things to get you going. You think about what you’re doing today, what you’re going to eat, how you’re getting to work. You’re basically thinking of yourself all day. “Centering” yourself. You don’t think about some other person all day do you? You have a biased ‘opinion’ about depression when in reality, its so much more broad than that. Everyone is different. No one person was made the same.

                • Person
                  October 15, 2013 at 8:52 AM #

                  And you need to know that if you leave this article up, dozens of people who really ARE depressed (Not just sad over this that or the other as you claim) will probably read this article and kill themselves because they just cant bear the pain of people like you telling them that they suck on top of all of the hate they already give themselves. Sure, I would totally agree with you that suicide is the most selfish act imaginable, but it does not justify you giving them that last push over the edge that they needed. Remove this article before you become a murderer (if you havent already) and THINK next time before insulting people who the last thing they need is to be insulted.

                  • Grace
                    October 24, 2013 at 2:31 PM #

                    I have heard that the greatest artists and writers go through deep depression. It is not always a bad thing you know. It takes all kinds. I get depressed quite often. I agree depressed people are selfish as well as happy people. We are all selfish. How many of us can say We love our neighbor as ourselves. If we did we would have to give our neighbour everything we give ourselves. But we can’t of course. Because depressed or not we are selfish. There was only one person who was not. We all know who he was and is.

                    • Ed
                      November 19, 2013 at 10:04 AM #

                      You are an idiot, depression isn’t some pleasant experience that one goes through for some inspiration. Depression is a period of darkness where it seems like the afflicted is drowning a vortex of negative black smoke. You physically feel pain and weight pressing down on you at all times, the selfishness is the only way you can interpret such a dark event. Depressed people generally show how unselfish they are from refraining to commit suicide. This article seems like more of a conspiracy than a well thought out educated paper. We might as well assume that the twin towers tragedy was orchestrated by the government as well. It’s ridiculous/

                    • Newzbug
                      November 20, 2013 at 4:02 AM #

                      In response to: You are an idiot, depression isn’t some pleasant experience that one goes through for some inspiration. Depression is a period of darkness where it seems like the afflicted is drowning a vortex of negative black smoke. You physically feel pain and weight pressing down on you at all times, the selfishness is the only way you can interpret such a dark event. Depressed people generally show how unselfish they are from refraining to commit suicide. This article seems like more of a conspiracy than a well thought out educated paper. We might as well assume that the twin towers tragedy was orchestrated by the government as well. It’s ridiculous

                      “I am well aware of depression not being a pleasant experience. However there has been shown to be a direct link between depressive illnesses and creativity. I know the depth of the pain. I have felt it more times than I can count. And it has nearly killed me on more than one time. It runs in my family : father, mother, sister, grandmother … I have lost family members to depression. So don’t insult me. If you misunderstood my meaning. I apologize … but I try to be an advocate for depressive help.

                  • Johnny
                    October 25, 2013 at 8:55 PM #

                    Okay now…WHO’S trolling people who are depressed?? I’ve fortunately road out those horribly bad times by getting out of the house and hanging around people who are simply…better people. I don’t know why, it just worked. Please people…don’t make extremely obvious suggestions, we need support, not protection. Thanks~

                • Name Here
                  November 14, 2013 at 9:43 AM #

                  I have been depressed before and can say, it depends on the person, I cant speak for everyone. my mother never knew i was depressed and I never acted like it around her or anybody, because I didn’t want people’s sympathy or sadness for me. Maybe selfish isn’t the right word, but I do understand what you, Toma, mean when you say “Self-centerness is the mind thinking that the world revolves around it”.

                  I learn how to not be depressed just by listening to my mom talk about “The Spirit of God is around you and only you can control your thinking and actions in life”. It took me awhile but I understand now what she meant. only I can change my outcome, how I feel, no one can tell me what I can and cannot do, only I can. I am one of the most happiest people you will ever meet my friends say so too, and that’s because I don’t think about the bad or ponder on the darkness creeping up in my mind.

                  One of my secrets is friends, sharing what i feel, and them helping me to be positive. Get other people into your problem let them help, God made people so they can be together, we are one. If that wasn’t true then what is the purpose of making Eve for Adam?

                • Washington Irving
                  January 2, 2014 at 5:07 PM #

                  If you have never been clinically depressed, you just don’t get it. You may accept it. You may have valid opinions about it based on your experiences with those who have had it and do get it. Some things, only another sufferer understands. That’s okay. But never assume it’s just a matter of changing perspective. That can help. A lot. But it is not a simple solution. Honor the complexity of the human experience.

                • fiona
                  March 24, 2014 at 11:58 PM #

                  self-absorbtion or ”naval-gazing” is more acurate than ”selfish” because so often depressed people are NOT selfish! But its the tendency to get caught or trapped even though they may not have started off that way, that is the problem….they end up entangled in thoughts and fears that they just can’t get away from. Thats why LEARNING to get away from these thoughts is helpful… Its not super-easy… but it can be done. Someone in physical pain IS in physical pain but they do not need to be mentally depressed by it also. Thats because they can learn to put their thoughts in other areas. We live in a world that at times APPEARS to have very little meaning or love and as a result a lot of people think their lives have no real meaning- well, THAT is enough to depress anyone!!! Thats why addressing real issues of why we are here and finding our purpose and how we fit in is really important in our recovery from depression and a sense of meaninglessness.
                  I was severely depressed for ten years and even studied philosophy at university to find a way out of of my mounting problems and depression… I suffered so badly I thought of death nearly every day and didnt want to get out of bed. Speaking to people was a real task and sometimes I couldn’t speak for up to 3 days at a time. … it was VERY SEVERE!. I can tell you however that when I became a christian after ten years of this my life did a very radical U bend that completely changed how I felt and saw things. I can tell you ll that Jesus is real, He can help every single person who calls out to Him for help. Ive seen literally countless people be radically changed by Him. There is a reason we are here and have to go through certain trials- but hear this- it will NOT be forever!! …Seek the truth and you WIILL understand why we are going through our personal trial. Even if its been going on for years… God will still meet you and help you. Jesus came INTO our messed up, pain-filled world to help us to find a way OUT of the empty meaningless lives we lead. He came to show us that our lives matter and count and that God is watching us and will help us.

                  I was set free of this awful depression 18 years ago an for that I am truly thankful…..can I encourage people to read one of the gospels, either Mathew, Mark, Luke or John and to really use this experience of feeling depressed as a catalyst to help you seek some real and much deeper answers. God loves us but He didn’t promise us roses- He promised truth and love -( and, yes, joy!)- but not without a time of sorrow…Jesus Himself was rejected and abused and went through many pains and sorrows- but He also came through. Jesus told us, “take up your cross and follow me’- perhaps with the depth of depression you have known you are better qualified to understand the things the Lord was speaking about…. Do not give up in your search but be encouraged that you have been honest and brave so far… and it is not time to give up, but to search deeper and be honest enough to seek the truth of why we are here. … God Bless you x x

              • GuiltyAsCharged
                October 12, 2013 at 12:37 PM #

                So what i hear you saying is that you people please to the point it hurts your and puts you into a state of depression? Then you would be agreeing with his statement? The key is to pay attention to what you say or how you answer the question. You may be giving away the true answer to your simple problem. Depression is made up thought or a lie we believe. the longer we dwell on that thought the deeper we fall. Think of it this way. You make a bad choice. The next time its easier to make. soo on down the line Building up till you don’t even make the choice its just a habit or a pattern of agreement that you fail inline with… So applying that to the depression topic. I would say that if you dwell on the problem it comes bigger than life. Hints the lack of wanting to deal with people. But if you think that of people you sure will bring it out of them… Pre judgement isn’t our place either. Maybe its time for a mindset change and a new perspective. You will only be depressed as long as you allow it.

                • Kylie
                  December 1, 2013 at 1:02 PM #

                  Um no. The other people on here share their experiences of being selfless to illustrate depressed people are not always selfish. As for me, I am a very selfish person, but my depression did not cause my selfishness or vice versa. Depression is a medical illness, and everyone diagnosed has a different personality. While some personality types are prone to depression it does not it is the cause. Also, type a personalities are more to prone heart attack. Does that mean that the heart attack was made up?

              • gopal
                December 10, 2013 at 10:13 PM #

                I came across this post because I’m seriously pissed off with depressed people… sorry even if it is genuine it is just so hard to take seriously!

                What the author says here may not be scientific but I can relate to it with all the depressed people I know. All of them are damn selfish.

                Selfishness doesn’t mean not being a nice person … It means serving the comfort of your emotions before what needs to be done, I.e. thinking with your gut when you know your brain is telling you to do the right thing.

                Every depressed person I’ve met has no backbone on the important things… This is selfishness. Knowing what the right thing is and running away from it.

                • divya
                  April 3, 2014 at 12:08 PM #

                  haha and how many depressed people have you met gopal? more than a million i’d assume after reading ur oh so confident comment!

              • divya
                April 3, 2014 at 12:01 PM #

                kim! not all people are like this okay? u be strong! i understand u and as do many other people i’m sure!…i too am not selfish and no other person can get me into thinking that i am! do things if they make u happy but dont expect anything in return cause thats how the world works!

            • hockey1
              October 5, 2013 at 9:27 AM #

              IT has nothing to do with being spiritual. It has everything to do with if you Toma want to be remembered as a Dip Fuck or not. Remove article or I will find you and finish you off.!

              • Name Here
                November 14, 2013 at 9:48 AM #

                hockey1- Why are you being a meany-meany butt face, that’s not nice at all. and there is this thing called freedom of speech, soo technically he can post what ever he wants. oh right and ANYTHING you say or DO, WILL be used in the court of law. so that means if you do anything there is evidence to support that you threaten Mr. Haiku and can be prosecuted. thank you and have a nice day.

            • Bex
              October 8, 2013 at 7:09 AM #

              I feel like my IQ dropped a few points reading this. Also, unless you’re about 70-80 years old, it hasn’t been a lifetime ‘depression free’. There’s every chance you can still suffer from it. Which could be a big-ass surprise if you think it’s anything like this…Also, while they haven’t worked out root causes, depression can be an imbalance in serotonin and dopamine. The latter controls the wee rush you get doing something like exercising, playing guitar, basically anything that is ‘rewarding’ to a human. Without it, the world seems lifeless and gray. It is that cut and dry. I don’t why you don’t know something that basic if you choose to write about this.

              • Yournameiswild
                October 9, 2013 at 1:09 AM #

                I agree. This article was poorly conceived; the concept of depression (a highly studied area in psychology) as nothing but an existential flaw is pretty immature.

                Judging from the author’s comments, the main thrust of the article has been emotionally influenced by the members of his own family who have a history of depression.

                Toma’s reports of his family – and the conjured ‘Western Businessman’ – displaying “self-centred” traits is anecdotal, and nothing we read here has any grounding in reality.

                • Shiry
                  October 10, 2013 at 1:07 AM #

                  Amen to that! The author clearly has some personal issues with depression in his family and has been greatly impacted by this. This seems to be his basis for denial of anything but a religious approach. It is sad that his family has jaded him so, but he needs to accept that not all depressed people are represented by those in his own family. Unfortunately, if he ventures to do this, his own world becomes shaky because everything he believes in must be questioned in terms of depression having one treatment plan. It is a very risky thing for him to do. To open his mind and actually research other cases and evidence and treatments and possibilities. So he remains safe win his womb. It is understandable but sad. To each his own, right?

                  His opinion is merely an opinion. A biased one at that. With age and growth he might start to open up to other possibilities. It took aging and years for me to do it and it is possible!

                  • Toma
                    October 10, 2013 at 6:37 AM #

                    You couldn’t be further off base.

                    • Luke
                      April 1, 2014 at 7:58 AM #

                      Ok, depression is real, and it does not make people selfish.

                      Story time:
                      When I was 7, my parents got divorced. Now I was a happy, social butterfly but down deep I was always sad. I didn’t really show it and I only got sad when I thought of my father. Flash forward a couple of months and my mom says we are moving to Texas to be by family. That hit me hard; I was leaving behind my whole life. Friends, family, school and all of my memories. As soon as I got to Texas I hated it. That is when my mom noticed something wrong. I went and got checked out by some therapists and they told my mom it was the beginning of depression. After no treatment, I became suicidal. In the third grade, I had a small notebook filled with drawings of me killing myself. It took years of being on suicide watch and treatments of medicine everyday and therapists every week to pull me out of depression.

                      Don’t try to explain something you don’t understand. It makes you sound arrogant and ignorant.

              • Johnny
                October 25, 2013 at 9:02 PM #

                I agree, Bex. Karma’s a word to bring a smile to some sad faces. Sadly to say~ ;D

            • Abby
              October 18, 2013 at 2:50 PM #

              With all due respect, I actually feel like this very article was done out of selfishness. It’s wonderful that you feel comfortable in your own skin, but what was the point of writing this and at what cost? Do you realize that there are probably children out there that are old enough to use the internet and searched the word depression in hopes that they understand why they feel a certain way? Then they come across something that is calling them selfish? I feel like like this was just a self indulgent rant disguised as motivation. Sorry, honey, but you really need to check yourself and stop being self-righteous at the cost of others. It is not being balanced at all. Don’t overestimate your own understanding of the human brain regardless of the research you have done or what you have experienced. By the way, there are probably a lot more people in other countries (unreported) who suffer depression as well and hide it because they don’t want to be judged by people with this attitude, but they still feel it. This is being insensitive to them as well. Don’t speak on behalf of billions of people through a site that billions have access to.

              • Johnny
                October 25, 2013 at 9:13 PM #

                Irony, eh? It can come on like severe…depression?? @.@ !!! Abby knows wants up. If someone can’t put their own self (like see/feel) in any another person’s shoes…Hmmm…

              • lilian506
                November 17, 2013 at 12:48 PM #

                Abby, really couldn’t of put it better myself. applauding. why did this guy feel the need to even jam his oar in on this when he has no real grounds of understanding or research. he hasn’t experienced this dilemma of depression himself, so at what moment did he think he was rightly equipped to write a help guard on matters. no ounce of logic there whatsoever

            • Alan
              October 26, 2013 at 12:26 PM #


              Let’s point out the flaws.

              First, you avoided the most obvious statement. Genes relate to how likely you are able to suffer or gain something, not that you will. So you haven’t yet had a lifestyle that promotes depression, okay…

              Second, to say you will be depression-free for a lifetime not only expresses such hubris I’ve not seen before, it’s also absurd. How can you predict the future? By saying you will never be something, only increases the likelihood of it occurring. But looking at the first flaw, if you don’t understand likelihood, this discussion may go full-circle.

              Third, I understand why you are confused about depression. You believe in this chain of events: Depression>Attention>Self>Greed. However, everything comes back to you, not just depression. And like others have pointed out, this isn’t the correct depression, either. You are using depression as sadness with the goal of wanting attention (because public displays of sadness are ways to gain attention).

              Four, depression (not just sadness) builds character. It almost always has you look inward and truly understand yourself (or perhaps you’ve already looked inward and have become depressed to learn who you truly are, but then comes the goal-setting and keeping your faults in check). You see, if you never want to know what depression feels like, you will forever be conceited and delusional. Even if you look inward without depression and find yourself saying “nope, I’m a great person, no major flaws here”, then please don’t reproduce. This world does not need such pomposity. If you look inward and find faults, but choose to do nothing about them, then you’re the selfish one. At some level, you believe your flaws aren’t really flaws, and that if someone doesn’t like something about you, it’s their burden.

              Five, you can ignore everything I’ve said up to this point if you’d like. But I have a question for you. Your statement that depression is selfish stems out of the depressed person inflicting his low attitude onto others, and taking their time, attention, and energy. Taking that part of your story alone, what do you say to a depressed person who puts on the happiest face for others? Not a single person in the world knows of the person’s troubles except the person. Are they selfish?

              You also say to just think positive, and you’ll be positive. That only works if your conscious thoughts created a goal that is of delusion anyway. If at your core, you truly feel you need to be sad, that you must suffer, or that this is atoning for something, or for a purpose, then no matter what you think, you will not “snap” out of it.

              • Toma
                November 6, 2013 at 1:53 PM #

                Sorry. I truly meant to say ‘depression free in my lifetime’. My bad.

                I believe I have addressed your other points in previous comments.

                • maya
                  November 27, 2013 at 10:04 PM #

                  You are exactly what is wrong with the world.why should we have to be happy all the you know what its like to have an alcoholic father that never gave any emotional support,or a mother who was too busy looking after the father?if you dont then shut the fuck up,if you do then maybe your depression..low around the corner.mine has just reared its head at 35..lifetime free!!what a wanker

            • InducedJoy
              October 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM #

              Many say the smartest people are the most unhappy. Many also say the smartest people tend to not be spiritual or religious whatsoever. Not sure what being “spiritual” has to do with anything in your argument, except for the fact that “spiritual” people like to talk about their spirituality at really unnecessary times as if it makes people care more about what they have to say.

              Look, you clearly have no grasp on what depression is or even how basic heredity works, not just for mental illnesses, but for just about anything. A genetic predisposition to something doesn’t mean you’re going to develop it, even something very physical, like celiac disease. I am genetically predisposed and I have it, while my brother is also predisposed but doesn’t actually have the disease. Go figure. Pick up a book and educate yourself on basic psychology and genetics before you go blabbering on some blog like you know what’s up. You can have all the family you want with depression but that doesn’t make you an expert. You’ve never even been there, you have no idea, people don’t just develop depression because they stubbed a toe or something. It’s a dark place, don’t act like you have some sort of clue just because you’re related to somebody who has it. Spend weeks in bed, literally unable to get up and shower yourself or eat, can’t even go to school, and all you hear is “Wow you’re so lazy, why can’t you do anything right, why don’t you just be a normal person, you need to get yourself together”… All from people just like you. People like you are the kind of people who make those with severe depression give up and attempt to end their life. It’s a total lack of empathy on your part.

              Also, how dare you try and downplay the role of a psychiatrist. Do you know how dedicated most of these people are to helping people who need it? Like it’s some kind of bullshit pseudoscience, like it hasn’t been studied for centuries, like the mind is some simple blob in your skull that can be figured out in a fucking blog post. You have invested absolutely zero critical thought into what you have just written, and in the meantime, you’ve managed to offend a lot of people.

              Mental illness, from depression to anorexia to borderline personality disorder, kills people. Psychiatrists try their hardest to help those who hurt on the inside. It’s one thing to have a broken leg, but to have a broken mind? That’s a pretty damn difficult thing to fix. Give psychiatrists more credit, especially when they’ve probably saved the lives of more people around you than you would ever want to know.

              • Toma
                November 6, 2013 at 2:20 PM #

                I give credit to people doing rape and trauma counselling out of the goodness of their own hearts, and to the priests and nuns I personally know who help the poor in places like India and Africa, not to psychiatrists charging $100+ an hour so they can prescribe you medication that you don’t need, while they are rewarded with free holidays to exotic destinations for being so fabulous at doing so.

                When was the last time your shrink said, “Hey, whatever your name is, this month’s sessions are on me, because I love my job and I only do it to make sure people like you get better”? You are defending a corrupt industry.

                • itsclinical
                  November 9, 2013 at 4:27 AM #

                  So do you go into your job and tell them that you’ll just go ahead and work for free today just because it’s your job?! Of course they get paid to do what they do! They went to school for 10 plus years to do what they do!

                  Also I can guarantee that even though you’ve witnessed depression in family members that in no way means that you know what they are going through. I bet you don’t even know half of what they feel or think. It’s a**holes like you that make depressed people hide and not want to seek help and then sadly a lot of them commit suicide.

                  Would you tell a cancer patient to just “think positive and think that you don’t have cancer and then poof your cancer will be gone”???

                  • mandilouwho?
                    December 19, 2013 at 1:56 AM #

                    OK here I’m gonna clear this up right now because as a person that is spiritual, doesn’t watch anything negative, eats healthy, exercises, and has a very positive outlook especially with what I have been thru and had a good childhood at least with two loving parents but always even as a child had bouts of depression disagree that it is selfish and that it is in our control to stop it. God is the only one who can heal anything and mental illness is talked about in the bible and only Jesus could heal it. Yes I agree there are too many people quick to label everything a mental illness and prescribe medications when they are only a bandaid but some do need it. Schitzoids cannot control it nor have the mindset or will to. I love my children they are amazing angels and so is my loving husband but I still for no reason get depressed when I have a great life that is simple and I appreciate and enjoy the simple things always, but it just happens. I will cry for no reason and just get upset. Trust me nobody would choose to feel that way if they can help it. This is ridiculous and judgemental. When you just all of a sudden get a terrible fear of nothing or get that icky blah feeling and try to think positive but nothing happens it is very real and not on purpose. Now in saying that there is a difference between allowing yourself to mourn a loss or something bad that has happened and there is situational depression which can be helped by picking yourself up and being strong but it takes time and is healthy to let yourself feel what you feel. Its also a fact that women are more suseptable to depression because of hormones and emotions which can be unbalanced and also if you haven’t heard of post pardem its very real and affects mother’s and cannot be helped without treatment of some kind. How do u explain perfectly healthy moms who love their kids but then go crazy after having one and kill them in the name of God or out of fear something worse will happen to them? Sorry but anyone who could do that or kill at all is mental at the time and has lost it.

                • George Metos
                  December 13, 2013 at 11:48 AM #

                  Honestly? You think they have an easy job and all they do is prescribe medication?
                  I suffer from depression. In the 8th grade I was going to a Catholic school and constantly being told I am going to hell for many reasons. But the worst, was because of who I was. I felt hated and believed I should hate myself. My parents took me to counseling to try and understand why I was so sad. It was there that I was able to finally understand why I was hurting. I found it ran in my family and I had allot of emotional problems (my school being the cause of several)
                  I cannot tell you how good it feels to tell someone what you are feeling. Someone who understands and want’s to help you.
                  those of us who are depressed tend to feel guilty about unloading on friends and family because it is hard. I sit and counsel my friends almost daily, and it is the hardest thing to do. There was one point that I finally broke down and had to take a week off of everything because I was taking so much in. These people have one of the hardest, headache inducing, life consuming practices that can be boiled down to listening. Honestly, I think they deserve it. When was the last time you listened to 20 people everyday tell you about how they feel and why they hurt?

                  By the way,It was not actually my therapist who prescribed antidepressants, but my doctor. I tried them, found I didn’t like how I felt on them and fought it on my own and the tools given to me from therapy.

                  So suck on that you ignorant butt. Pull your head out of your ass and actually go do some research about something before presenting your opinion as fact (and you did by saying “it is in your head” and not “I believe it is in your head”) because as far as I can tell, you have not actually studied psychology or medicine.

                • Right.
                  December 25, 2013 at 7:37 AM #

                  Dude what are you smoking? Lol Well I’m glad you don’t call the shots. The only thing you have is ego. Ever hear the definition of a psychopath? Massive egos is one of their key elements, narcisism… and it’s known in the psychotherapry industry they would never admit to being a narcisist. You might want to seek help.

                • triemers
                  April 1, 2014 at 8:23 AM #

                  My counselor has been there for me during ym episodes and panic attacks, as well as my severe depressive episodes even past his hours. The system is not corrupt, these people just need to make a living. And from what I have heard from friends overseas, the priests and nuns in Africa tend to make things works. You obviously have very little understanding of neurology; I would suggest you actually research your topic before making an uninformed statement publicly that supports hatred and stigma against getting help for something so damaging.

            • meekerseeker
              November 5, 2013 at 12:15 PM #

              You’re a dumbass in need of attention.

            • Jason Roof
              November 6, 2013 at 7:00 AM #

              Thats almost as asinine as a person who has smoked cigs all his/her life and never getting cancer claiming ‘im cancer proof and indestructible’…… You are nothing more than lucky and drew the correct cards…….. Just bc cigs can increase your risk does not mean you are destined for cancer, just like bc depression runs in your family does not mean you are destined to have it,and just bc you never got it does not mean you avoided the inevitable simply by shear will power…. Think about it

            • Tomainacoma
              November 15, 2013 at 12:53 AM #

              I was going to offer you insight on this topic in which you clearly know nothing about, by sharing my story, but then I thought, that would be selfish of me. Besides there are some posts on here that were insightful and wonderfully written (you might want to take notes) that convey what I would have said to you.

              Instead, I will just leave you with this one question. Would you be able to direct me to the eternal optimists skipping merrily in countries like Sudan and Ethiopia were starvation and civil war are prevalent? I’m getting really sick of seeing the commercials of emaciated and dehydrated children with flies all over them. I mean, how selfish of them to hog the camera for the length of the commercial.

              • Toma
                November 27, 2013 at 2:39 PM #

                When I lived in Italy I had a friend from Mali. He hardly spoke Italian, and he had only been there a year, yet we communicated well. He lived every day not wallowing in the war and poverty surrounding him, but in the hope of a better life, and the knowledge that there was one out there. He never gave up, and he now lives in Italy, has a steady job, and a long-term Italian girlfriend. While he wasn’t skipping around Mali as an eternal optimist, he never became depressed because he had hope, and because he didn’t have the luxury of being a whiny little bitch.

                • Jason
                  December 14, 2013 at 4:11 PM #

                  I think this is very interesting. Your friend was never depressed because he had hope, yet that is not the same as being non-selfish. So this example seems to propose a completely different root of depression: lack of hope. Is not having hope selfish? Am I missing something?

            • Steve.
              November 15, 2013 at 8:17 AM #

              There’s nothing wrong with your family! It’s just ego and all in their heads so how could you be susceptible? Susceptible to what exactly!

              • zapdmom
                November 15, 2013 at 9:22 AM #

                So Steve, how could anyone be susceptible to any illness? You are a curious creature who has no logical understanding of the illness. Let alone the defiinitive data to support the “physicality” of the illness of Major Depressive Disorder. This disorder is more than just depression. It is just the one that science/medicine has placed on it.

                • Steve.
                  November 15, 2013 at 11:10 AM #

                  Sorry you have missunderstood my sarcasm, i have suffered severe depression for over 23years, taken many meds and the only thing that brings me out is ect, so i would read peoples comments in the context they were meant and in comment to which post they reply.

              • Toma
                November 27, 2013 at 2:44 PM #


            • Jeremy
              November 16, 2013 at 2:34 AM #

              So what? God let’s you not be depressed because he likes you more you self centered dick?
              Sorry, that was my imaginary depression talking because i have a chemical imbalance in my brain, but it’s my fault because it’s not real. One day my mom puked on the floor crying trying to get a knife to stab herself with and her explanation was basically “nobody listens to her” and “she feels sad”. I wonder why…what do you think it was? Her imagination or a fucking medical condition?

              Go ahead and please have the audacity to respond with some of your bullshit, I’ll wait.

            • Jeremy
              November 16, 2013 at 2:43 AM #

              Btw how ironically idiotic is it to disregard something that’s intangible and saying it’s not real when you are apparently spiritual….is your spirit tangible, if you eat sugar and a doctor says you have a higher risk of heart problems you can’t prove it more than you can prove the probability of having depression but I know damn well you wouldn’t take a risk of heart problemsabd take it with a grain of salt but if you would then you be to illogical to get any further point I make…

            • Lani
              November 18, 2013 at 10:42 AM #

              It must be hard being so much better than everyone.

            • Barbara
              November 19, 2013 at 6:44 AM #

              So, if you have a pre-disposition, then perhaps someday you will hit a long and dark depressive episode. Then I will be interested in hearing YOUR story, instead of your judgement of others. You just might not be as balanced and spiritual as you think you are. I;m sure your family would be very grateful … not to watch you go through the pain of depression, of course, but to gain some compassion. You give yourself credit for showing them some respect in your post but I tend to doubt that you are very respectful of their situation which is very sad for all involved, especially or you.

            • klc
              November 19, 2013 at 11:04 AM #

              Tell me, which spiritual path is so devoid of empathy? Sounds more like you have issues with your family that you’ve built a superficial ‘philosophy’ around and less like balance and spirituality.

              • Toma
                November 27, 2013 at 3:21 PM #

                I agree re: empathy. Our paths are long and full of awakenings. But it’s not about a philosophy, it’s about truth. The truth is that depression is caused by ego.

                • Makenna
                  February 12, 2014 at 2:01 PM #

                  I suffered a severe traumatic brain injury which changed the chemical processes in brain. These chemical processes are the same processes that cause certain emotions. I have a great life. A great family. Nothing to complain of. And then, I was hit and I suffered from extreme depression. It wasn’t a CHOICE, nor was it out of “ego” or selfishness. If it WAS a choice, I wouldn’t have to live like this. It is scientifically proven that your brain IS responsible for causing “depression.” You obviously have no idea what depression is. It isn’t crying for a few hours and then being done and happy again. Next time you write an article, you should actually do your research instead of creating it merely based on your opinions.

                  • divya
                    April 3, 2014 at 12:18 PM #

                    makenna, no matter how much we try to state toma wrong! he has all these hundreds of comment on his stupid article! i think what he actually wanted has been given to him by our wasting our times to tell this “never been through even a minor depression” person that his opinion is i’m sorry to say but quite shitty!

            • Rich
              November 20, 2013 at 10:27 PM #

              Toma, sadly you are an extremely ignorant person. If I had a broken leg would you say I’m selfish for not wanting to walk? Also I believe that you are the selfish one if your very family are affected by the disease yet you refuse to recognise it. It’s people like you that lead others to not talk about how their feeling due to your stigma. Do some research, listen to some of the many people who suffer from the disease including extremely successful and humble people like Stephen Fry and maybe then you may understand a bit more. Until then, I would keep your misguided views to yourself!

              • Toma
                November 27, 2013 at 3:23 PM #

                This article is about the cause of the broken leg, not the broken leg itself.

            • Oliva
              November 25, 2013 at 5:42 AM #

              Just because you’re highly prone to something doesn’t mean it will affect you. It just means that there’s a higher chance for you to be affected than the average person. Depression is a REAL illness. There’s a difference between saying you’re depressed when you’re sad and being clinically depressed. Clinical depression takes over your life, and you have no say in the matter. Despite efforts to fight it, the depression persists. It’s AWFUL, and this article is, quite frankly, insensitive.

            • William
              December 2, 2013 at 1:59 PM #

              Two things…

              1) Just because you got lucky enough to dodge the family bullet does not mean that this illness does not exist. (BTW, you do know that being ‘prone’ to something does not mean you are 100% going to get it, don’t you?)

              2) Please post one piece of ‘scientific BS’. Science is fact. No BS in it.

              (I have a third one, but I learned a long time ago that trying to debate someone who chooses religion over reality is pointless.)

            • mandilouwho?
              December 19, 2013 at 10:04 AM #

              OK that is one of the most ignorant and frustrating things I ever hear people say is well look at me I don’t have this or this person went thru this and this didn’t happen. Guess what my family is prone to depression and crazinessbon both sides and I do suffer too so there. I found this out after years of wondering what was wrong. Do I think I should be affected way more and way worse since its on both side, yes. Do I feel I’m strong for continuing to fight, yes. Do I wish it would go away, YES! But I do deal with it everyday and stay as healthy as I possibly can for me. And btwI am very spiritual too that’s what keeps it to a minimum maybe so what’s your point?

            • Ali
              December 21, 2013 at 5:30 AM #

              I have been surrounded by depressed people all my life and i’ve been pushed to be strong for all of them, all the time. to the point that I have given up on all my hopes, dreams and desires. I think I have the right to call depressed people selfish but i wouldnt. some of them can be but some of them are not selfish people. I think your articles are biased due to your own horrible experiences, and i wouldnt blame you for having this perspective.

              All these posts disgreeing with you are people who only know the “depressed persons” side, they dont know how it feels to be the one who uses all their emotional and mental strength to help these depressed people and live life on everyone’s behalf. To bear with hurtful words of depressed people, to see them destroy happiness and ruin holidays and yet you’d have to keep on trying and trying to make everything right, and despite everything they wont trust you or believe that you love them. I know alot about how it feels to support people in depression. and how selfish they can be at times. but its not always the case. i’m pretty sure that I have or will eventually become a victim to depression myself. and it would be depression inflicted by those who i tried to help. All depressed people would say “it hurts so much to constantly hear voices in your head”, but none of them have any idea how much it hurts to hear REAL voices screaming new and creative hurtful words of people you love and REAL emotional pain drawn from these situations AND to have the strength to tell yourself “its alright, they’re just unwell, they still love me, and even if they dont I will find a way to help them and make them realize i love them”. And to have this happen EVERY WEEK for the rest of your life. They were perhaps traumatized by a bully or a horrible father for a few years, but they BECOME that BULLY and that FATHER for the rest of thier lives. is that even justifiable? Do they really want that? well maybe the selfish ones do. but most of them, I dont think so, they need help to realize what they are doing and how to stop it.

              It takes more strength and it hurts more to fight the current than to simply let go and be taken away by it. HENCE people who support depressed people suffer more and need to be stronger (like me and you). And it is these depressed people who eventually cause their children, their brothers, their mothers and they’re loved ones to break and fall into depression themselves. If they dont get help or try to fix this YES they are selfish, after knowing how they’re causing their suffering to spread. But if they are trying to become better then you need to give them respect.

              Which is why i believe that you, Tomo, were hurt a lot by people around you suffering from depression, but you cant come in terms with your suffering by simply saying “they were selfish, and they are all selfish”. That statement in itself shows that you still blame them and wished they had never been depressed, i.e. you are bieng selfish by denying that these people had suffered involuntarily. Your saying that your loved ones hurt you and themselves on purpose.

              Tomo, i can relate to your situation, more than anyone here probably, but this isnt right from any perspective. its downright prejudice. its generalization to say all mental illness comes from selfishness. It does not. maybe sometimes it is a factor but its not always the case.

            • Right.
              December 25, 2013 at 7:31 AM #

              Hooray for you, go stand on a mountain with that ego you talk about and yell it to the world. We care.

            • Anon
              December 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM #

              So apparently I’m just selfish by putting on a fake smile every day so nobody knows how sad I am, and spending endless hours at night feeling like utter shit. I haven’t told anyone and nobody suspects a thing. So explain to me how that is selfish

              • Gracias Muchacho
                December 28, 2013 at 4:53 PM #

                I haven’t read the article but if I had to guess I’d say it’s selfish of you to continue harboring your demented mentality rather than letting it go. Not to mention suicide is a really fucking selfish thing to do; you have to be a really selfish prick to seriously consider it.

                • Leah
                  January 4, 2014 at 11:18 PM #

                  ITS NOT A MATTER OF SELFISHNESS. !!!!!!! I have had suicidal thoughts and it’s not because I want to make my family unhappy!!! It’s because I’m so depressed I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to in my life. It’s people like you who are selfish.

                  • Gracias Muchacho
                    January 10, 2014 at 3:49 PM #

                    There you go, you’re only considering your life and not the life of your family and friends. You’re only convincing me even more that depression is selfish. YOU have nothing to look forward to in YOUR life. You haven’t even considered the impact that it would have on your family and friends. It seems to me that you have to be pretty far up your own ass to be considering killing yourself.
                    For the record I’m not selfish; I’m just angry, apathetic, and objective.

                  • Natalie
                    March 15, 2014 at 8:41 AM #

                    I think the word “selfish” has taken on too personal a tone. It’s not a direct selfish relationship between depression and your actions, but it’s undeniable that it is selfish. When anyone around me is depressed, and when I have been depressed, it is all ME ME ME. You see it in hindsight and as involuntary as it was because I was unaware, I can no longer allow myself to fling my needs on others. That is unselfish depression.

            • The cakes
              December 31, 2013 at 4:48 PM #

              I would say to thank god for that because you could just as easily be the most imbalanced and the most spiritual! Shame on youi!

            • Science
              January 25, 2014 at 5:19 AM #

              Just because you’re highly prone to it, doesn’t mean you’ll have it. I have a history of mental illness in my family. Everyone else if fine. I suffer from chronic depression. There are times where I feel better, but I still deal with lack of energy, suicidal ideation, and feelings of hopelessness. I’ve tried everything. I exercise, I have supportive friends and family, I eat right and even cut out gluten which was making me sick, I have a job and am going to school in order to get a career in what I love, and even spiritual. So, by a lot of people’s thinking here I should be fine right? Yet I still suffer from the debilitating side of major depression.

              I really hope you don’t tell any of your loved ones your ignorant bullshit. I’m sure it doesn’t help them any.

            • divya
              April 3, 2014 at 11:57 AM #

              toma, the only person selfish here is u :) u’d call a girl whose been badly raped for months ! u’ve never really heard of the incidents such as a girl being badly raped by a gang..beaten and even gotten a steel rod put inside of her through her vagina all the way up and then finally after all that thrown out naked on the road in front of severalllll people ! such things do happen! and if the girl survives and gets into severe major depression without it being her choice ..her family disowned her because of what happened and then finally she tried to end her life…u call her selfish ! wow toma i truly admire u ! and anybody after reading this still says one can handle it and get over it is some human being!

            • Angie
              April 12, 2014 at 2:31 AM #

              Hi – I am new to this thread – I’m curious about something – I hope it will not insult you to ask how old you are? You look very young in your photo – so I’m just curious. Thanks.

          • Leah
            January 4, 2014 at 11:13 PM #

            Exactly my point—it’s not a controllable thing!!! I can think positive but it doesn’t do anuthing!! I have suffered from clinical depression since I was 12 and I don’t want to hear that it is selfish of me to have suffered it. You don’t get it.

        • Katie
          October 21, 2013 at 4:22 PM #

          Depression is not something you can help, it comes from a chemical imbalance in the brain, leaving the person with many different results. Many people feel nothing, they are completely numb, then suddenly, everything comes like a tidal wave. Sometimes that tidal wave can last, causing self-hatred, and things like that. But my main point is that depression isn’t selfish, though the chemical imbalance may make the person act selfish, or not noticing of others struggles, it is not something you can control with being busy, because you feel nothing most of the time. (well, in my case) I disagree with this passage because it is like telling someone with severe anxiety (which is also a symptom of depression) that what they are freaking out about is no big deal, when in reality, it is keeping them from living. I was browsing when I found this and I was, first of all, offended, and second of all, sorry because that is how you see people like me. I just hope that you don’t see people not feeling the hell of reality, yet feeling it at the same time, as selfish.

        • mary
          November 21, 2013 at 11:47 AM #

          you say this because you don’t understand, i am 16 and i have depression, i self harm, am suicidal, but i tell no one because i don’t want them to be affected by me. i don’t kill myself because i don’t want to hurt the people i love even if they are the ones hurting me.

          • April
            November 24, 2013 at 3:33 PM #

            Mary, please go to your school counselor and ask for help, especially if you feel your family would not be supportive. If you don’t feel the school counselor is helpful or empathetic look for someone else. A youth pator would be a great resource for you. Even if you can’t drive you can call him/her or reach out online. Keep looking till someone can help guide you. You are a valuable person with a purpose. God knows every nuance of your heartache. Ask him to help guide you to the right people, resources. I too suffered depression at your age and told noone. When I got caught crying one night by my older brother who was home on college break he was judgmental and I had always idolized him so it was very hurtful. Its important to go to someone who has your best interest at heart and who knows what they’re talking about.God bless you. I will be praying for you.

        • Zim
          November 23, 2013 at 10:40 PM #

          FUCK YOU. I am clinically depressed, fucking suicidal, and fucking self harm. the fuck you trying to say that I don’t appreciate my fucking shit! WELL I FUCKING DO OKAY. I FUCKING APPRECIATE EVERYTHING I HAVE. I just fucking… God damn it this really pissed me off. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE “NICE” WHEN YOU’RE TELLING ME TO JUST GET OVER MYSELF. I FUCKING AM A SLAVE TO MY FAMILY. WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT I FUCKING GET IT. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I NEVER SHOW MY DEPRESSION AROUND OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF FUCKTARDS LIKE YOU. So fuck off.

        • liz
          November 29, 2013 at 1:33 PM #

          i have depression I’m not selfish you are criticizing because you are a heartless human being and you just don’t understand how out minds work there is so much stupid on one person it really doesn’t add up!

        • Tony
          December 30, 2013 at 9:43 AM #

          There are those who suicide with the guts to muster the MALICE in their hearts to PUNISH those who have mistreated them from the beginning of their lives (often parents), when instead they should’ve been loving them. They know FULL well the emotional pain inflicted upon the survivors will act as a type of “solace” or “striking back” because the pain they’ll suffer for the REST of their mortal lives; with the intent to make them feel as horrid and isolated as they drove the victim to be. This happens by the mechanism of not only 1) arousing the stigma of the mere subject of suicide to the survivors, but also by 2) by making it previously CLEAR that THEY drove the person to kill themselves–and will it upon them to despair with that knowledge that they cannot “un-think.” And, there is some evidence that this has happened. Years of counseling of even the most begrudged scrooge of a survivor can BREAK them emotionally, physically and mentally, which is “justice” to the dead, not selfishness. The evidence of this came from forensic psychologists studying Columbine, yet never really saw the light of day–notice the “jock” victims they decided to kill while looking others in the face and sparing their lives because they had no “beef” with them. Instead, the shooters knew the victims families would always suffer with “what could have been,” but was never fully realized. The fact that the shooters were bullied by their children never seemed to cross the minds of their families. This avarice is commonly called “corruption of blood” or “vendetta” in Sicily.

        • Truth
          January 3, 2014 at 1:32 AM #

          I once thought that people with depression just needed to get on with it until I suffered severe depression. Mine came on by probably doing and giving too much to others and not enough to myself! No matter what I tried nothing worked until the day, totally unable to even speak my GP started treatment. Even he was surprised I took the anti-depressants. I still battled on with things until some in my medical team called it quits, and although the last thing I wanted was to go on a Disability Pension I found I had little choice. I have another practitioner I see and she says people with depression need to go out and do things for others. To my surprise she didn’t with me. It was the complete opposite. I wanted to go and help my mother – ‘no’ came the reply your too sick. To keep my kind more positive I went back to study against the desire of my medical team. Believe me it is really tough going and sometimes I think I’m not going to make it, but with my steely determination I do. This has not cured my depression. I still suffer from depression so deeply I sometimes cannot speak, no longer wanting to live plagues me. I’ve changes my mind about depression. It is an illness. I’m sure for quite a number of people doing something for another will be of benefit, but for some, we are just so exhausted because we’ve done so much for others, we have given so much our systems say ‘enough is enough’ and our minds turn off. For others their bodies may suffer physical illness as a response to ‘enough is enough’ but you think that it is ok for a body to do so, not a mind as though they are two totally separate things. Perhaps physical illness can be a response to stress, just like mental illness can be a response to stress.

          I still hate not being able to do much. I get so frustrated. I’ve always been a person so much on the go.

          And Tomo, it is not true that those in poorer countries don’t suffer from it. It is interesting that women in their 50’s and 60’s often do, no matter what culture they come from. It is called menopause. You should ask your mummy and your aunties about it. Or perhaps go to a female clinic and learn about it. Then you perhaps will stop posting absolute rot and garbage. You obviously have little understanding of the facts of life! So go and talk to your mummy about it, or perhaps speak to a person with some medical knowledge. You may learn something.

          However, my impression is that you are too young, arrogant and self-righteous to do that.

        • simone
          January 7, 2014 at 7:14 AM #

          well you seem like an illegal immigrant obviously wasn’t taught empathy no need to Havre feelings haven’t been bought up proper chase the gold coin none of you are actually psychologists are you no so how do you actually know how the human mind actually work just a bunch of novices of this society don’t get ill just work h don’t go off the rails just pay the fucking bills i’m a very strong women I’ve worked since I was sixteen been bought up in a broken home so ‘im not allowed to say i’m depressed of course its an illness its very bad for some nobody to make such an in accurate view

        • pmz
          January 11, 2014 at 8:53 AM #

          I agree with you. Depression is selfish. If you want to kill yourself, I would be happy to smash a hammer through your skull you sad pathetic fucks..

          • anon
            April 1, 2014 at 4:35 PM #

            i am going to report your threatening comment .

          • divya
            April 3, 2014 at 12:25 PM #

            lol u r so frustrated! one does not want to! such thoughts come to them…do most of the ppl fight such thoughts out,yes! ones who are not able to are not strong enough! your use of vocabulary is very interesting! i’m quite sure u or your family has not gone through severe depression! i have they or u never do because then u’d really get to know who’s selfish and insensitive here! and that’ll be sad :D

        • Debra
          January 19, 2014 at 8:23 PM #

          I do agree with you, but I think realizing that, gaining control of it, learning not to wallow, etc.. is something not everyone can do, especially when they’re young. To me, it’s more a weak/lazy thing than selfish.. unless they commit suicide. I’m speaking from personal experience, not books or other’s opinions. There’s been a few times that my kids were the only reason I didn’t give up. And that’s what it is. Feeling sorry for yourself, and wallowing in it, and weak. For me, the guilt always came because I hate when I get the “I don’t give a hoots” and get lazy. All of these things pass, but many never realize that. Just knowing that makes it easier to get through it, and less of an “event”. It’s just stress, when it rains it pours, truly.. but KNOWING that it will pass (or you’ll learn to deal with it) keeps you from feeling truly hopeless. I’ve seen people lose everything, with nothing on the horizon to start rebuilding with. Some jumped in the river, or turned into drunks.. gave up. Then there’s the strong who motor on.. (I worked at a casino and saw it alot unfortunately) It irritates me when people milk it. I get fed up and say, get over yourself.. like I say to myself. That’s another aspect.. support.. someone to push you to shake it off. Then there’s hormone imbalances, etc that are true conditions that can alter your mood.. dopamine as well.. sun..I”ve been down lately because I feel kind of jaded.. getting old, menopause, and pissed at myself for being so lazy. Think of the gym every day, and never go, etc. For the moment, I get a buzz, and vent to someone like you :) I know it’ll pass, as soon as I get motivated. If I told my friends I was depressed, they’d laugh and think I’m full of it, because I’m always laughing and upbeat.. or passionate and peeved :) That’s because when I’m downer Debbie, I stay home and deal with it… like everyone should until they can at least play nice.. in my opinion. Not everyone is honest with themselves, or has a tough attitude, or maybe even the intelligence to understand what they need to do to get over painful things I guess.. And there are some that have legit reasons to be down for awhile.. the brain is a funny thing.. and chemicals, etc can be a factor, so I hate to say ALL are lazy and weak, but for the most part, yep. Suck it up princess. Motor on. Keep moving and it’ll pass. Wallow in it, and you create your own little hell.. DO something about it. (says the chick in her pajamas all day haha) Anywho, I enjoyed your article. Straight up truth for a change, smart, quick, enjoyable read.. and a refreshing honesty on the topic. I’m lovin’ you right now! lol We need to quit pampering everyone. Don’t even get me started on the whole “politially correct” bull lol And then there’s the drug companies, and doctors pushing meds.. that screw people up that were just having a bad week.. It’s a huge problem, and more people need to speak up as you did.
          I’ll leave you before you gouge your eyes out over my rant and poor grammar lol Thanks again.. and for the reminder to get my head out of my ass.

        • colin sanderson
          February 2, 2014 at 2:15 AM #

          I can understand why people find depression hard to believe. It is something you have to experience yourself to be truly educated on the matter, even so when you are feeling well its hard to believe that you were feeling that way.

          People seem to believe that computers can run slow lose files and crash but if you took then apart you would find nothing wrong with them. Its the binary code them millions of tiny connections so it is physical but so minute and complicated.

          The brain is even more complicated you have billions of connections and a complexity even in the least intelligent person who tend to think in a very quick straightforward way, they are less confused by things, and have no self doubt, so think very quickly, they are good in emergences, but not so good on long term strategies. They would have great problems understanding true depression

          To make the brain even more complicated it relies on chemicals, hormone and neurotransmitters, they are adjusted to make us act naturally to give us the best chance of survival, like a computer that shuts itself down to save energy. Our brains can go into what feels like an hibernation energy saving mode. It would be very useful in times of shortages sleeping all day burnes very few calories. whatever the reason it is not a useful adaptation in todays world.

          The conscious mind or what people call willpower fight against the tiredness and slow thinking. For a time willpower can win and it appears from the outside you are nearly normal but you can usually see in the eyes of a depressed person. One depressed person can spot another even if they appear to everyone else to be the life and soul of the party.

          I don’t talk about skiing because I have never skied but I have seen people ski so any comments would have no authority.

        • Benjamin
          March 20, 2014 at 7:28 AM #

          I have suicidal depression. I don’t care about my family, God, eating, or even drinking. Depression is an illness that can lead to PTSD. Do you think that I chose to be depressed. Being selfish? That is stupid! It is not my fault that I was bullied and had lots of stress! Now I have to worry about the fact that I won’t lynch myself the next day! Your statement is so wrong in many levels.

        • Why am I judged?
          March 30, 2014 at 3:40 AM #

          How dare you say depression is selfishness!! How would you feel if you were depressed like me? I didn’t choose to be depressed. Maybe you and the others who said that should try being considerate for once! When I saw the things on this website criticizing people for being depressed I started to cry. Maybe you should try thinking before you speak for once in your life!

          • Natalie
            March 30, 2014 at 8:22 AM #

            The way I see it…and keep in mind it’s just an it’s pretty selfish to tell someone that they should not dare broadcast their opinion because of your feelings.

        • divya
          April 3, 2014 at 9:42 AM #

          well if u think that depression is selfish u’ve never been through depression so dont try to give out statements when ur not even completely aware of anything! plus at times life pretty much sucks for people problems problems…living in a place full of judgemental people and parents who never get u! no friends! everyone telling u to do something or the other…seeing the ones u love and not being able to do nything about! there are times in life when nothing is right from any angle! what do u expect then? the person to be great full to god for giving him complete senses and or have gratitude about the fact that food is still available to that person or just the fact that he not dead and that there are other people with more problems! i have gratitude and i’ve thankful for all this for yearssssss now but at the end hello? i’m a human …not god …and i did try to be perfect but it does kill u inside knowing that u r a good person…never done or wanted wrong for anybody and still all this is happening to me! one’s helpless …no one who’s gonna listen to u …support u or understand u ! seeing ur parents in pain when they r such good humans! one can b strong for a long time miss but not forever …he/she isn’t selfish …not crying out loud that oh my god i have depression…i go through it alone cause i dont want to disturb my family anymore than they already are! is that being selfish? or is just making a statement such as depression is selfish selfish? u see for urself! the one going through REAL depression can only say something about it ..not u or anybody else! i ont mean to be rude but just really want u to open up ur mind and eyes and not make such statements…it just might hurt certain people !

        • Johnathan Murphy
          April 7, 2014 at 6:56 AM #

          Not all forms of depression is selfish, and you dont and cant relate to all forms of depression… so if you are not a depression doctor or atleast in school…then stop telling us how smart you think you are.

        • Tay
          April 9, 2014 at 1:54 PM #

          Okay me being psychically and emotional abused as a child makes me selfish? I’m sorry I have been damaged when I was a child; you know the very abuser said the same things to me. “You just want attention, you are selfish” and continued to beat the shit out of me. So yeah… people have reasons why they think like that. It isn’t as simple to stop being depressed. Not when people literally broke everything; it’s a long road of recovery. Don’t be ignorant.

          • Natalie
            April 9, 2014 at 10:42 PM #

            You being abused, like me, was out of our control. Out of our abusers’ control, really, and a reality. It is selfish to take offense in every perceived invalidation of our hurt, and to navigate life looking for any special treatment based on the tragedy of our stories.

            • wearewalkingdead
              June 17, 2014 at 3:47 PM #

              So basically you’re saying, “I dealt with it so suck it up?”. Idiot.

        • Jo Aldridge
          April 9, 2014 at 3:04 PM #

          I agree with your perception being that it is selfish toward others, but that is really only a selfish opinion.

          Because sooner or later, someone [like me] has to be selfLESS and treat a selfish person in a selfless way to show them the “right” way.

          Please consider how “selfish” this post would appear to someone who is at risk of suicide.

        • Katherine
          April 25, 2014 at 10:51 AM #

          I agree that depression is selfish. I also believe that it is real. It only becomes selfish when an individual chooses to stay in that mindset for a prolonged period of time. People fall on hard times and they may get depressed, and they either can stay in their own self pity, and use it as an excuse to do nothing – or they can pick themselves up and move forward and continue to live their life. But I do feel that your statement saying “If it can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word” is somewhat questionable. For example – a “conscience”. It to can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. But it is a fact that a conscience is real and most individuals have a conscience and there are others who lack one. Such as sociopaths and psychopaths. Ruthless individuals who violate others, con and scam, and even attempt to destroy a persons character and reputation, simply because they enjoy the suffering and humiliation of others. These people feel no guilt or remorse for the lies they tell and lives they destroy whatsoever. When first meeting a sociopath one would never suspect the person had no conscience because they cannot see it outwardly. People who do not have a conscience – pretend to care, and lying comes as natural as berthing to them. They do whatever they feel is necessary to manipulate (usually a caring, kind and empathic person) in order to get what they need. They use the person and discard them like trash. By the time the person realizes what is going on – it’s too late.. And they find their lives in turmoil, and are drained emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically. They attempt to put their life back in order, with a high chance of failure. The person that caused them all this trouble. Does not feel bad or sorry and has no regrets. In fact they will blame the victims and vilify them. Sociopaths are known to be able to pass lie detector test. They do not have care about anyone. They have no conscience. We cannot see a conscience (or the lack of one from an individual who doesn’t have one) but we know that a conscience does exist – and in the case of sociopaths – it does not exist. I think your writing was informative and good. This just my opinion regarding your statement about “if it can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real world”. There are many things that can’t be seen or touched but they are in fact real.

          I am an open minded person. And I like to try to view everyone’s personal opinions and try to understand why they may feel that way, and I try to relate.

        • dez323
          May 6, 2014 at 3:55 AM #

          Fuck off some people are actually depressed and not because there selfish. Some people had thing happen to them to make them depressed and it was not a choice they made

        • Laura V
          May 19, 2014 at 10:31 PM #

          Depression can come from feeling helpless about the entire world.. not just over selfish matters. All of the pain and suffering in the world can make someone depressed.

        • Izzy
          May 21, 2014 at 3:04 PM #

          I disagree. I really don’t know why people call depression selfish, and why some people feel so angry about it. I have been fighting with depression for the last 10 years of my life. Even when I was diagnosed, I argued with the Doctor telling him that Depression for me was in no way possible. I had nothing to be depressed about. From the outside, people that know me, and people that don’t know me, would say that I appear to be an extremely upbeat person. Even at my age (50 years old) I love playing jokes on people. I known that I am, with out a doubt, one of the most fortune people around . I’ve been married for 28 years to a wonderful man who has loved me with all of his heart. I have grown children, that I am extremely close to, who tell me every day how much they appreciate me as a mother. I know that I’ve created a wonderful life for myself.. For me, there is a difference between just having sadness”, and being “Depressed”. Being sad comes from maybe a loved one dying, or a fire taking your home. There is actually a reason for normal sadness. Depression on the other hand doesn’t make sense. You wake up going about your day and suddenly. . . . there is a sadness that just hits you. There is no reason behind it. I just know that I feel sad. I know that it’s depression when everything is really wonderful in my life, and my feelings don’t reflect that. In my case, about two years ago, I started having several seizures through out the day. The doctors did many tests on my brain and have noted that I have many lesions (injuries) on my brain (Hundreds of them). In my case, these lesions have caused a chemical imbalance in my brain. My serotonin and dopamine levels don’t work together correctly. There are many reasons for this imbalance. I know that, exercise and a good diet helps tremendously. Take some vitamin B12. It really can make a difference. Good luck to those of you who fight depression on a daily basis. I know for a fact that Depression is real. Unless a person has had depression, it really is hard to understand.

      • Halle Bowen
        July 19, 2013 at 5:06 AM #

        I TOTALLY agree. I’ve had depression for a long time. But I was choosing to make it worse. And it got worse. Then, I quit having pity and stopped making excuses and got help. Guess what? I’m great. No meds or therapy.

        • Jerry Skinner
          October 25, 2013 at 7:57 AM #

          My son said he is unhappy long time and has had suicidal thoughts. He is 18 and just finished high school. Where can he find help?

          • eve ramos
            October 31, 2013 at 10:51 AM #

            If he’s not on any medication, take him to a doctor to see what could be causing these suicidal thoughts. Maybe counseling could benefit him. I wish you and your son the best of luck with this!

          • dretta
            November 14, 2013 at 9:43 AM #

            Send him to a PSYCHOLOGIST. They help, but without pushing medications on you at all.. They are like advanced guidance counselors. When I was severely depressed my psychologist helped me turn my life around

            • zapdmom
              November 15, 2013 at 7:10 AM #

              While psychologists “cannot” prescribe you medication, pushing is really the wrong word. Maybe you have had a negative experience with that. Personally I saw a psychologist and social worker before I ever went to a psychiatrist. I only felt partially well. I accepted I was just meant to feel crappy my whole life. It wasn’t until years later (about 5) that I was worsening and becoming extremely lethargic and quiet. After seeing a psychiatrist when things were really bad, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. He told me I was curable. After a year of going off meds twice and each time relapsing back into that depression, I looked for another doctor. Unfortunately for almost 20 years I believed I would be better after being on meds for that length of time (equal to the amount of time I felt depressed) I was still depressed most of the time. I am still on meds. Without them, I know I would be dead. You have no idea how bad it feels, how much you cry because you cannot stop. I never did any of this in front of family or friends. In fact I stayed away and hid myself in a corner … crying incessantly. Not eating, not caring about anything or anyone. A part of me still hopes SOMEDAY there will be a cure. But until then I will try to understand the people who cannot take the time to understand me.

          • Kylie
            December 1, 2013 at 1:14 PM #

            Take him to his doctor who could refer him to a psychiatrist and a counselor.

      • Lou
        July 22, 2013 at 11:06 PM #

        I think this is a massively over-simplified, insensitive and misguided article. NOT a helpful message to send to people suffering from acute depression. Telling them they are selfish is akin to implying they have 100% control over their crippling health problem, and they can simply wish it away. Would you tell someone they can cure their cancer by being less selfish? Depression is a DISEASE. In some cases it is a symptom of thyroid, vitamin deficiency and other serious health problems. Your sentiment is cruel and poorly expressed. :-(

        • Nick
          July 23, 2013 at 2:34 AM #

          I think it should be clarified that, if depressive symptoms are in fact due to “thyroid, vitamin deficiency or other serious health problems” then they are not considered psychiatric illness. In these cases, the patient should have the underlying medical condition treated in order to resolve his symptoms. “Major depressive disorder,” for example, is not a diagnosis that would be made if a person’s hypothyroidism can account for the symptoms.

          • Sam Huff
            August 17, 2013 at 1:33 AM #

            Attempts to find physical reasons for depression are much less frequent that ideally. Much easier to treat the symptoms. Shrinks are unlikely to check for physical causes.

            • Marianne
              October 4, 2013 at 11:34 AM #

              Actually, if one goes to a psych. MD and not a psychologist aka shrink, the psych MD will order various medical tests to rule out a medical condition before simply treating the symptoms of depression. And if for some reason, the MD does not. Then I suggest requesting tests or see another MD.

            • newzbug
              November 24, 2013 at 8:17 AM #

              @Sam Huff, if your words are true, that means that GPs will not understand the depth of a mental illness. Yep, your words are so wrong.

        • J
          August 12, 2013 at 6:38 AM #

          by the authors definition of depression ” It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads,” happiness doesn’t exist either!

          • akimitsu
            August 23, 2013 at 9:01 AM #

            If you want to get technical, all of your senses are controlled by and perceived in your mind. Using the logic that depression is only in your head is, therefore, completely true — and everything else that you see, hear, touch, taste and smell is also only in your head. Does that make it any less valid?

            There are many types of depression, and I think almost every singular case of depression is unique. It’s a mysterious state of being, to be depressed. If it were easily describable, it might be easier to get help and/or help oneself, or not to become depressed in the first place.

            I ended up on this article hoping it might actually have some good insight, and read it completely open-minded, but there was nothing there I hadn’t considered before.
            I don’t consider myself a person who feels self-pity. I have dealt with depression so long that I’ve become angry with it, and do everything to battle it. I have good self esteem, emotional and intellectual intelligence, and see more positive than negative in most things. I do not sit and wallow in my own bad feelings, or think bad things about others or myself.

            In fact, what I was originally looking for was perhaps someone else who also suffers depression that does not have necessarily negative thoughts or feelings of worthlessness. I’m kind of sorry that I read this article, because its lack of compassion is confusing.

            The depression that I suffer from is, as far as I know, not caused by any particular event in my life. It is not through laziness, self-loathing, overthinking — there is nothing that can be pinpointed. It is mainly a feeling of restlessness and emptiness. I keep going every day because I tell myself that each day is good, and every day I am getting better, but after years I had to admit to myself that I haven’t gotten better. There is no enjoyment in anything anymore, as much as I want there to be. All of the things I used to love, I have no feeling for anymore, except the feeling that I want to love them again, but somehow can’t seem to.

            It’s an emotional apathy that no amount of helping others, self-improvement, changing life activities, changing diet (I am on a permanent organic, paleo diet), getting enough exercise, socializing, being self-sufficient, — no amount of ANYTHING has seemed to help. For a long time, I told myself it was helping. Every thing that I changed, I just KNEW it was working, but I was lying to myself. The hardest thing was for me to be honest and finally take notice that at the end of everything, every day, there was only emptiness and somewhere a small desire not to feel this way.

            If you are still replying to comments on this article, I would love to hear any input you might have. It’s best to go into things open-minded, so if you could spare any time, perhaps I -am- being selfish somehow, and still do not see it. Thanks.

            • Toma
              September 4, 2013 at 9:22 PM #

              Hi akimitsu. Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. Yours was the first comment after starting my recent hiatus, but I’ve had you in mind. You’ve covered so much about what you do, but you’ve said nothing of what you believe.

              • Ayla
                September 14, 2013 at 10:23 PM #

                Can you also tell me what you would say to a child that has been sexually abused? Neglected? And are depressed? Tell them they are being selfish?

                • Toma
                  September 14, 2013 at 10:43 PM #

                  A similar question to this has been asked previously. Children need nothing more than love. I would make that child feel loved completely and unconditionally. There is nothing more effective.

                  • Sean
                    September 15, 2013 at 12:04 AM #

                    Okay, so you would love this child as much as possible. There is no doubt about that. But when this abused child looks up at you completely bewildered and confused and in pain and asks, “But Daddy, why am I so depressed and in pain? I don’t understand. I am so scared all the time? Please help me! Please explain!” You would then reply, “son, none of those feelings are real. They are all in your head. You are depressed because you are selfish. Go outside and play in that beautiful sunny weather and look at those beautiful trees. You know, if you were doing your chores the way you should be you wouldn’t have time to think about your pain and if you did chores all day long you wouldn’t have any pain at all! But you are being selfish. This is why you feel so awful. And what you feel is all in your head. Part of your big imagination! But remember, daddy loves you!”

                    That is essentially what you conveyed to us in this article. Would it be any different for a fragile child? I mean, isn’t it the same thing?

                    • Toma
                      September 16, 2013 at 8:52 AM #

                      Despite this article, it’s unlikely I would have that exact conversation with anybody, and certainly not with a child.

                      I do have one small regret with this article, and it is the way in which I wrote it. While I still firmly believe in the underlying message, I do wish I had written it with a slightly softer tone so that what I was trying to convey came across more clearly. The way I wrote it, and in particular the title, seem to invoke so much emotion that the message gets lost completely. Your comment is evidence of this.

                    • The cakes
                      December 31, 2013 at 5:21 PM #

                      This guy is a genuine ignormanous!

                      I do not think he fully even answered your question!
                      September 16, 2013 at 8:52 AM#

                      Despite this article, it’s unlikely I would have that exact conversation with anybody, and certainly not with a child.

                      I hate to inform him but this was the article that he wrote so it was the conversation that he had with all of us not knowing our ages or what issues we may have had! I see him a man with no compassion; who is uncaring and should never give any more talks about depression! He does not apologize or tell anyone how sorry he is that they have had do endure some of the things that some of these people had! In fact, he probably should never have any children!; just in case as we would not want to see any more children messed up than are are already!

                      September 16, 2013 at 8:52 AM#

                      Despite this article, it’s unlikely I would have that exact conversation with anybody, and certainly not with a child.

                      I do have one small regret with this article, and it is the way in which I wrote it. While I still firmly believe in the underlying message, I do wish I had written it with a slightly softer tone so that what I was trying to convey came across more clearly. The way I wrote it, and in particular the title, seem to invoke so much emotion that the message gets lost completely. Your comment is evidence of this.

                  • Jen
                    October 5, 2013 at 12:32 PM #

                    You mention in your article about going back to the happy childhood days. I suppose my selfish self should go back to the memories of the many times I was on my knees performing oral sex on a man and then asking me “if I wanted fucking salt and pepper on it” when I told him it didn’t taste good after he asked. Or the other molester her liked licking me many times, or the several men who fondled me. Or, I could always think about the happy times watching my mom almost get killed as a young teen, the moving from home to home and worrying about having food to eat or those absolutely fantastic times of getting my ass kicked by my stepmom. Wow! Thanks for telling me to stop being so selfish about this constant state of depression for about 26 years. I will go ahead and think about that happy childhood for you.

                  • divya
                    April 3, 2014 at 12:30 PM #

                    u would do that and that’s gr8! but some children are not so privileged to be so loved! and mind it they are not selfish!

              • akimitsu
                September 22, 2013 at 10:53 AM #

                I’m not 100% sure I understand what you’re saying, so I apologize if this response isn’t what you were getting at.
                I believe that depression exists for all sorts of different reasons, and is different for every person. Perhaps what, from an outside point of view, can look like “selfishness” is just a symptom of depression. It is a self-defeating disease. I feel that expecting someone to use their thoughts/change their thought pattern to stop their depression is equivalent to expecting cancerous cells to not only stop being cancerous, but to start producing healthy, normal cells.

                There is, IMO, a very big, hard to explain difference between feeling depressed and having depression (as a disease). One can lead to the other, and they can both exist at the same time in one person, but they are different things. I don’t know if you have ever felt truly depressed, or suffered from depression. I hope you haven’t, because I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Trying to help someone understand what depression feels like is like explaining empathy to someone who has never felt it. People with depression CAN come off as selfish, but that is a symptom, not a cause.

                • Toma
                  September 22, 2013 at 9:26 PM #

                  Thanks. I was more-so asking what you believe in and about life. God? No God? Life’s meaning? The definition of happiness? That sort of thing.

                  • akimitsu
                    September 26, 2013 at 1:57 PM #

                    Ah, got it. I believe there is something much greater than human beings, beyond what our minds can comprehend. I believe that whatever it is, it is benevolent, but also in a way most likely enigmatic to the human mind. I think that kindness is more important than anything. Beyond that, I can’t claim to know or believe in anything because my understanding is inherently limited. What about you?

                    • Toma
                      September 28, 2013 at 7:55 AM #

                      I believe that peace is found by serving God, and chaos is found by serving yourself.

                    • Louise
                      November 27, 2013 at 11:25 PM #

                      …oh yeah Toma, you are right…

          • Nadia
            September 17, 2013 at 8:37 PM #


          • Katie
            September 29, 2013 at 11:00 PM #

            Agreed! I don’t see why people even care about his opinion, he isn’t proving anything Scientifically. He is stating his opinion through a blog, and throwing in some “statistics”. He is confusing sadness with depression. I don’t think he has ever been exposed to mental illness, but I have first hand. My aunt had Bipolar Disorder, and the severity was devastating. She killed herself in March 2012, making light of mental illness because you think it’s a “mindset, or selfishness” is irresponsible as well as ignorant.

        • girl
          August 13, 2013 at 12:39 PM #

          Completely agree. This article might be helpful for people who are on the verge of finally overcoming depression, and just need a final kick of “tough love” to make it over the hump…other than that, every sentiment mentioned in this article…I can only imagine exacerbating existing mood disorder. Not saying that all depressed people need to simply be “babied” but I like your word choice of “misguided”

        • boulton jeanette
          September 4, 2013 at 3:34 AM #

          I agree with you you! Very insensitive, egoist & arrogant!!! Depression is not about being selfish.

      • Lawerence frazier
        July 30, 2013 at 12:03 AM #

        unbelievably shallow

      • Mily
        August 6, 2013 at 4:27 AM #

        This article just shows your utter ignorance about depression. The body mind and brain are connected. So depression is NOT about just thinking positively. Chemical imbalances have a major role to play. Also, in developing countries depression exists but it isn’t diagnosed and many of them end up committing suicide. Coming from a developing country myself I know about it.

      • den
        August 9, 2013 at 8:29 AM #

        You haven’t a clue you might have seen people go through it but that doesn’t make you an expert on the topic. Depression is different for everyone. Some of the ‘happiest’ people I know are suffering from it. But they don’t go complainin about it. Why? Because they don’t want to be annoying others with their problems yeah they are very selfish by doing that aren’t they? Unless you know what goes on or has gone on in the backrounds of people’s lives that have depression don’t claim to know better than the professionals you haven’t any idea what your talking about. Not one idea.I am one of those people with it for years and I’ve not had it easy but yet it’s only recently anyone knew I had it they only found out because it came up in discussion I can’t help I have it but i’m not being selfish I never was I work through it like everyone else tries to so if it was selfishness I guess someone would have realised before now don’t you think Wait I’m sure you’ll have an answer you already know everything don’t you doctor :-P

      • kiddie kat
        August 17, 2013 at 2:30 PM #

        I really don’t agree. You think that people put this on themselves? Is it really selfish to be bullied. No matter where you go you can actually hear people talking about you? Is it selfish that your dad abandoned you and actually told you that you’re worthless? Is it selfish that people get cheated on and then told that they “weren’t pretty enough to be with me”? It’s not selfish to take what people say to you seriously. Some people can’t help what people happen to them. So they shouldn’t be told there selfish for having a mental illness.

      • mike
        August 26, 2013 at 10:26 AM #

        I’m am a thirty year old male. Here’s a quick background. I didn’t have the best childhood. Nor the worst. But definitely family issues. After high school I did use prescription drugs for a few years. I don’t really recall ever being fully happy since I was a young kid. I definitely could get bye and feel somewhat happy. My point is I always had some mild form of depression. These past five years I’ve progressively gotten worse. About six months ago it hit me like a ton of bricks I almost wanted to leave work and quit. I fought to get through each day it only lasted that strongly for about a month. I was suicidal I can’t even explain the mental pain and stress this was. I couldnt sleep at nights. And I slept all day if I could. no intrest in anything that used to make me happy. And nothing selfish caused this yes I have normal stress and I drive for things. But please believe none of it was that important to make me feel the way I did. Stress absolutely contributes to the situation but this pain is on another level you can’t explain it to someone who hasn’t experienced it. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. There was nothing I could do to make it go away. It did subside. But I’m back to the way I was just somewhat happy. So to the author please believe you are completely wrong. This is a extremely serious issue. This pain is debilitating. I now see how people commit suicide. So I don’t know why you writing about something u obviousy have no clue about. I’m no wuss either believe me if I could have changed it by thought I would have believe me it’s bigger than that.

      • justin
        August 31, 2013 at 7:18 AM #

        then hows it i fill a state of sadniss for my siblings and why it is im stressed over if my gf lives with hapiness what about the people who arent depressed cause they dont have evrything but the people who are depressed over others with no hapiness or love? i mean no disrespect to your paragraphs on this topic……but could you explain my point of view i try not to be selfish because i know the value of family friends and even a bed so please fill this lad with some help

      • Susanna Marie Gomez
        September 9, 2013 at 1:39 AM #

        You are a total idiot. Depression is an organic disorder. If you understood anything at all, you would never have lifted your fingers to write such a stupid article about something you clearly know nothing about. You are just the sort of idiot who pushes people over the edge to where, when they can’t stand the mental pain and anguish any longer, they commit suicide. Great going, all because you fail to educate yourself. No, I don’t want any follow up from a total moron like you. You should be totally ashamed of yourself. Writing crap about something you won’t even self educate on. Dumbass.

      • stephanie
        September 12, 2013 at 1:21 PM #

        You an ignorant bastard. A person who clearly has NEVER dealt with depression. A person who is actually depressed is not going to sit there and complain about “I’m so ugly. I’m so fat. I have no friends” 1 people who truly suffer from depression usually don’t even talk about because they don’t want to come off as selfish. 2 it GOES DEEPER just “having no friends” It is a serious physiological problem. A person could think positive thought all day long but that won’t fucking cure it. So no people with depression are NOT selfish. You are are just to ignorant. People like YOU are the reason people struggling won’t get help out of fear that this is going to be a persons opinion on them. SO FUCK YOU AND FUCK AND SHOVE YOUR OPINION UP YOUR FUCKING ASS.

      • Ayla
        September 14, 2013 at 10:18 PM #

        You are a very uneducated individual. Your talking about people need to have spirit ….
        Just because someonebecomes depressed does not mean they don’t have spirit. I hope that someone who suffers depression does not read this and then go top themselves, thinking its not an illness. It is an illness. It is a very very serious illnes and not one that should be taken lightly. I hope that you or any off your close family members never suffer depression. It can ruin lives.

        Or do you have depression already and in denial? Trying to find a comfort in saying its something else? Its nothing to be ashamed off and over the years the stigma is being lifted.

        Only individuals like yourself hold onto that stigma.

        Please don’t write back with a sarcastic comment or at all, unless its to apologies to the millions of people you have just shat all over.

      • rhys
        October 1, 2013 at 7:18 PM #

        Interesting all the people who have depression read this and insist it’s real.are only trying confirming their own belief system that something in their body or something they eat or something they have no control over is what is responsible for the depression. It’s not me it’s something else something tangible that exsists ur wrong it’s perspective to all who are depressed take time out forget the modern world modern pressures etc and what happens depression lifts ur brain is the single most powerful organ u have at ur command learn it and master it and fill up ur day so u never get time to even ask urself am I depressed just flow the emotions in and out feel them recognise them for what they are and move on thr choice is urs

        • Sarah
          October 4, 2013 at 1:24 AM #

          If depression doesn’t exist, how about bipolar? Schizophrenia? Runs in my family, I have had 2 people I know institutionalised. My dad has aspergers/high functioning autism – I have bipolar II. I don’t want it, as much as someone who got screwed and ended up with Huntingtons wants it, I understand some people never feel it- good for you. The writer serving god does stop depression, if it does why did he give people diseases such as these? To overcome them? Lame. Just like the Mormon church – if you’re black and repent enough your skin will turn white. If you really serve god, you ought not to judge those things which you do not understand and leave it to him. If you don’t understand but one day get this epiphany “Boy, fat people are lazy let me go win on the internetz” you also need to stop and think of other physiological issues that cause people to accumulate fat. One shoe does not fit all, you’re leaving no grey area.

          • H
            October 4, 2013 at 12:49 PM #

            “Depression runs in the family”. What nonsense! Mental illness is NOT genetic. If your parents, cousins, uncles or whoever in your family has depression it doesnt mean you have to get it too. Ever heard of “monkey see, monkey do”? Depression is a behaviour, and if you can stop let it happening to you then your children and their children will never even know what it is. By the way, depression doesnt come from God, it comes from Satan. He hates families and want to destroy them. God only let it happen to you to see how strong your faith is in Him.

            • Toma
              October 4, 2013 at 12:50 PM #


              • Fuck you
                November 16, 2013 at 10:27 AM #

                Dear Lost human,

                God doesnt exist.

                Fuck yourself

                • Louise
                  November 27, 2013 at 11:21 PM #

                  yes He does, you havent tried Him, the bible says taste and see that God is good.

                  • M
                    May 31, 2014 at 5:47 AM #

                    Funny. I’ve “tasted” God since I was born. I saw only hurt and judgment made by people who claim their creator wishes for everyone to love one another. Makes me wonder why my heart tells me Mother Earth is the true creator. Yet I don’t try to make people believe in her, because I know she wouldn’t approve. With her I feel safe loving just by laying in Her grass, under the shade of Her trees. I see all of the beauty she makes, yet I’ve been depressed as a Christian and I still become depressed as a Pagan. Because it’s who I am, and it just happens to me. I don’t need to read a book written by human hands to tell me what my Mother feels. But I know she accepts me as the depressive, bisexual, loving, green-thumbed, and meek woman that I am. And she doesn’t want me to change, because as long as I bring no harm to anyone she loves me. Can the same be said about your creator who makes you repent for small “sins” on your hands and knees?

              • Amazon
                November 23, 2013 at 9:58 AM #

                Complete and utter bullshit you smug, self-serving asshole! You don’t know shit regarding what you are writing about, go learn some Science. YOU are SATAN you are hurting sick people. I hope you get depression and kill yourself the world would be a better place. Fuck off and go to hell where you belong.

              • KAMUI
                December 31, 2013 at 2:39 PM #

                If you believe in God… why do you challenge God’s creation?
                was our bodies not made by God? is all that is in existence made by God? has it not been proven there is a such thing as science and mechanics? whom are you to decide God’s decree?

                I am not sure about a God. But i am sure that religion is a manmade creation.

                Several people have made good arguments. the depression Toma speaks of is of his own observation/experience. it is not everyone’s. I am familiar with what he speaks of though. but what he speaks of as “selfishness” is not depression. he’s gotten it confused with “malingering”. It comes from today’s common false view that of “self-entitlement”. Its the spoiled child’s view that the world should work in favor of the spoiled child…. without any effort from the individual.

                if you believe in God, then you should not question why there is “variation”. and thus variation makes… tall and short people, fat and skinny people, and all types of other physical variation. some of us are smarter, and others not so. Thus so, there is variation in the human physical body. some people are born with all types of physical deformities, and some born with mental deformities. Can you honestly tell the developmentally disabled person he/she is not so??? i believe that is the stance you “Toma” have taken.
                I suffer from depression. So did some individuals in my family. So did Ernest Hemingway. So does Mariel Hemingway. It has been proven that genes are passed down.

                There is more things that people have mentioned that i agree with or not. However, addressing each one can take some time and the patience i was not born with.

                Perhaps i can follow up later. but now i have to be selfish and surf the net some more.

            • justin
              October 6, 2013 at 12:12 PM #

              Look at this highly educated comment right here…

            • Faye
              October 20, 2013 at 8:07 AM #

              Actually your wrong mental illness has genetic factors such as bipolar and schizopherna are both inherited depression to can have genetic inhertied factors. As someone who suppers from a mood disorder I can not control my disorder and often my symptoms will occur before my negative thoughts. I don’t believe in a god but I do believe in spreading posetivty and helping those around me. Despite of helping others and doing my best to be posetive i still get sick. You won’t understand what its like to be unwell because you have never had it. Please do not give hurtful advice to people without any basic understanding of the illness just because a family memeber has suffered does not mean you have a basic understanding. Please research what you are talking about before spreading more BS.

            • jessica
              November 7, 2013 at 4:45 AM #

              You are right, having a genetic predisposition to depression or any disease for that matter does not predict you will get it. There are many factors involved in developing any disease, and in illnesses like depression stress plays a huge role (evidence suggests that it plays a role moreso than genetics). In fact, in psychology, there is a diathesis-strses model suggesting that a diathesis (genetic predisposition) and stress (significant life stress) work together in causing mental illness – with only one or the other, you do not get the illness. You need to have quite a bit of both genes and stress interacting in order to develop the illness.
              Depression CAN run in the family, there IS a genetic link. This is supported by countless studies and emperical evidence, unlike any of your opinion-based claims.
              You are right, however, when you say that the person will not get it just because it runs in the family – not because genes don’t play a role, but because genes don’t play the ONLY role.
              Depression is not a behavior, Satan does not cast depression on people. It is not a sin or work of the devil to have a mental illness. Mental illnesses aren’t all that different from physical, as most have physical causes, yet that is an idea that many people seem to be unable to grasp. In addition, many of the people who get depression believe in God just as much as the rest of the general population who do not have it.
              While are all entitled to our own opinions, but yours is quite off-base. Please have more understanding of things before making such sweeping generalizations.

            • Louise
              November 27, 2013 at 11:23 PM #

              …I agree!!!…THANKS…

              • newzbug
                November 28, 2013 at 4:40 AM #

                So what issues have made you so angry at other peoples’ illnesses? Is it that when you were sick, no one helped you? So you don’t want anyone else to have help? I feel so sorry for you with your limited mind. Even “GOD” helped the ill of all kinds. But YOU think you are so much better than others that you can tell them what to feel, who to be and what is right. People like you are dangerous.

            • Marie
              January 7, 2014 at 10:35 AM #

              I was following (albeit not agreeing with) you until the whole Satan thing…

      • Daniel Madden
        October 7, 2013 at 11:31 PM #

        This article if demonstratively fallacious. For one depression ranges in degree of severity, and it does have a physiological basis, it is not a falsification; tell me why your opinion is valid? What qualifications do you have to even speak on the matter?

        Depression is more than ‘selfishness’ as you so wrongly stated. Mental illness is rooted in far more than some misinformed diagnosis of a personality trait. Depression can be caused by so many things and it is so pervasive that people (including yourself), a member of the public with nothing but a lay mans knowledge of Psychology will conclude it is a concoction.

        Depression’s causal basis involves not only a physiological disturbance but a cognitive disturbance.Learned hopelessness is an example of this. This states that when an organism learns that their actions cannot change the negative experience they are feeling, they over time believe that their actions cannot change their circumstances.

        Please, do your research before you pump out another painfully misguided blog post that actually causes me to reply in not even anger but just general fear. If you think this, god knows how many more people feel the same way.

      • me
        October 16, 2013 at 9:32 AM #

        think positive and you will feel positive. Bullshit

      • me
        October 16, 2013 at 9:41 AM #

        They have to deal with your self-inflicted bullshit the same way you do. It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on them, and at the end of it all, when you do snap yourself out of it and ‘suddenly’ feel better, the truth will come to light. And that truth?

        Your depression was all in your head. It wasn’t real. You were never actually depressed. You were just being selfish. And if you refuse to admit that you were simply being selfish, then you still are.

        You seem pretty pissed off. Let me guess someone with depression didn’t put YOU in the spotlight enough? look at your entire article and tell me its not screaming attention whore

        • Ari
          October 16, 2013 at 10:21 AM #

          Yep. This guy is mad at the world. You should read some of his other stuff. He is pissed at homosexuals too. Thinks they should be celibate. You gotta be a Christian in order to be worthy avoiding to him. I can only imagine the anti Semitic comments he has floating in his head. Seems like a great person to be around, eh?

          • Natalie
            April 9, 2014 at 10:48 PM #

            I bet you can imagine them..I bet you can.

        • NL
          April 9, 2014 at 10:47 PM #

          Reality: we all have opinions and seek attention. Others have the freedom not to give it any consideration.

      • TK
        October 16, 2013 at 10:00 PM #

        You think you know what you are talking about but you know nothing, probably because you’ve never had anything bad in your life that would make all the “bad thoughts in your head.” You may have had relatives that were depressed but you don’t know what its like and if you told them the same crap your blabbering your mouth about on here then that makes you insensitive and selfish. You just sound like a douche and closed minded.

      • C. Pratt
        October 21, 2013 at 8:03 AM #

        This is a totally thoughtless and judgmental article. It doesn’t deserve so many replies. Your assessment is just as unfortunate as all those people who would label melancholy with all kinds of DSM designations. There are some people who are doing poorly in life, and don’t see a way out of their financial or life predicaments ie. where they live in a dangerous neighborhood, lost their job and can’t find another, don’t have a support network etc…..After someone kills themselves that’s when people say all these things they would have done to help the person, if they had only called. Well, your article is evidence of the kind thought people who are suffering from sadness can be up against, and why they decide no one cares because so many people just want to teach them a lesson about their “bad attitude.”

      • Cattrina Hull
        October 25, 2013 at 10:03 AM #

        I’ve been sitting in a funk for over 4 months now. I’ve tried medications that just made me feel worse. I must say you are right. It is very selfish for me to sit here and be down and out. I was diagnosed with bipolar and major depression. It all started in my head and I know it. I do believe we have the power to make ourselves feel better by the way we think about things. I’ve tried though and I’m still sitting here. My relationships with my family and friends are going down hill because of how I feel. The only way to explain how I feel is that a piece of me died. I seriously woke up one morning and didn’t feel the same anymore. My energy was gone and all I want to do is sleep. I’ve even thought of suicide. I look at old pictures and see how I was so much more happier and now I’m not. I, I, I…..I guess I just want to be this way

        • Ed
          October 25, 2013 at 12:07 PM #

          I found in tests done when a lobster is given anti-depressant they become aggressive. Reading some of these letters clarifys that. I then found when looking, the area of your brain called Amydala is where fear occurs. So a serotonin uptake may help you with energy to defend yourself. But can’t help you when another area is bringing you down. When therapists discovered that one dose of mdma could treat ptsd,they banned it. No one should have a life time of depression. But that’s how they earn a living.

        • Toma
          November 6, 2013 at 1:11 PM #

          Do you have a vision for how you actually want to be?

      • Mariah C.
        November 1, 2013 at 9:25 AM #

        While I agree with the thesis of the article, I think you should’ve changed the title to “You’re not depressed, you’re just not grateful for the things you have.” For the people who are “depressed” they tend to take small remarks like “you’re selfish” and agonize about themselves even further. So from the get go, we should make more positive comments to put them on the right track for a less self-centered mindset.

        • Toma
          November 6, 2013 at 2:33 PM #

          But grateful to who?

      • Dennis Mariegaard Jensen
        November 2, 2013 at 5:07 PM #

        You obviously havn´t met people with severe depression. It is a very real medical diagnose. The worst thing you can tell a depressed persion, is that he is being selfish or it´s all in his head. I know the behaviour can seem selfish to people who doesn´t have this diagnose but it really is a diagnose that people cant just stop having on their own. I know lots of people say they feel depressed for a short while in their life and that can for many people not really be called depression…I do agree with you on the comparison on other countries and your view on appreciating smaller things in life but don´t judge depression to be unreal.

      • Tami
        November 3, 2013 at 1:52 AM #

        You’re not intelligent, you’re antagonistic.

      • georgia
        November 6, 2013 at 10:19 PM #

        Selfishness is a contagious paradox and it causes “depression”. Contagious because if you start thinking about how selfish somebody is, “all they do is think about themselves, they never think about how I feel, they don’t consider MY emotions and it really upsets ME”. The person then becomes selfish. This is paradoxical, selfishness causes itself.
        Depression is realism, depression is when people on this earth realise that people honestly aren’t that great. Think about it; you never see anybody saying “I feel so depressed because there aren’t enough trees” or “I feel so depressed because the sunshine is too warm in the summer”. It is the people, we’re all messed up.

        Now I am by no means depressed, but there is no solution to depression if we don’t all start to empathize. Can you all imagine if everybody put others first? Can you imagine how great life would feel? A harmonic and hopeful place to live. Selfishness causes depression. Depression is just the realisation of it.

      • Steve.
        November 14, 2013 at 8:45 PM #

        Why does your opinion matter? You have obviously never suffered a mental illness! Yes depression is a selfish illness, it turns your focus onto yourself because you are trying to work out what the fuck is wrong with you! So if there is nothing wrong, why can i become depressed when things are going well? Just had a baby, getting promoted, happy with everything and then a total flip in my reactions to everything in life, become withdrawn and trapped in my thoughts. It has come when i am unhappy, it has come in the summer, in the winter when i have had money and been loved or no money and worn out! Maybe its the word “DEPRESSION” as everyone uses it even if only a little unhappy or maybe its demonic possession. But whatever it is called it is Very Fucking real to me!!!!
        One time i was like it for 18months…..
        As a last resort i had a course of E.C.T.
        Was back in work after t weeks as if the last 18 months hadn’t happened… Explain that!
        Was it a righting of the chemicals after the convultions ( as was first noticed in epileptic patients feeling slightly happier after a fit) or did it drive out the demon until he gets in the next time, Me, i couldn’t really care less what it’s called as long as i can get out of it!
        Maybe there are more cases reported in the west because the west has somewhere to report it :-/ . Or is it the fact that alot of people use it as an excuse to get out of work like the bad back ‘ invisible ‘ illness.

      • Anna
        January 3, 2014 at 3:30 AM #

        I hate to say this, but I agree. Our thoughts have tremendous impact on our health, mental and physical. I have been depressed on and off for years, but all the while living a full life; eating healthy, raising a child, working out, being responsible etc, good job, family, friends. It’s when my thinking gets negative that I get depressed. To live a life of constant outward gratitude would negate depression, but it is freaking hard to do all the time. Am I pre-disposed to negative thinking? Was it my up bringing? Very likely. But it is within my POWER and control to change my thought process. Very hard. But, this article has helped. Thank you

      • Leah
        January 4, 2014 at 11:10 PM #

        Ok obviously you have never suffered from depression and don’t understand what it is whatsoever!!! I agree that your writing is very good but your idea of a mental sickness that cannot be controlled???!!! That’s what is selfish. I’m sorry but you’re being very unfair.

      • Carlos Abreu
        January 22, 2014 at 2:29 AM #

        I agree with you wholeheartedly. I deal with my partner’s so-called depression on a daily basis. Anything can set it off. It’s terrible. I should be the one trying to jump off a bridge. The real victims in all of this are not the depressed, it’s the people around them.

        • lol u
          April 3, 2014 at 12:36 PM #

          u r just selfish and donnot give A FLYING FUCK about ur partner! lol…poor her!

      • marie
        January 27, 2014 at 2:25 AM #

        well i think depression is complex and not just because of the ‘centre’. i’m a psychologist myself and its people like you who have never been so low as them and have no compassion that make it worse. they feel guilty then, misunderstood and they feel like they haven’t the right to be sad. they repress their feelings, don’t think about the situatio anymore, guess what? that leads often to ptsd with depression, long term lack of energy and sleep problems, not being able to work, without knowing why. Then it seems the person had a trauma, beaten and neglected when younger, and a unconscious belief that the world was dangerous and people weren’t to trust. its working trough that trauma, getting insight in the problems and helping the patient face it instead of denial and disscociative behavior, helping them cope with stress ( they have been under stress to long, and that why they can’t handle the same amount stress as’ normal’ people, they have gone over heir breaking point wich everbody has) empathise with those people, give them the trust, guidance and healthy empathic relationship and most get better and cured. when a person is raped, its very important to talk and have social support or the chance its great to develop depression. its important to have friends in the adolescence, very important for the self worth, not going in criminal behavior, and good school results. so yes’ i have no friends is very bad for that person and is not selfish. we are social animals, one who doesn’t get love will never be a sane person that is optimistic. reason why their is more depression in western countries is because its accepted. but look in all countries suicide is a big problems. in socialistic countries it is more outed by psychosomatic complaints because its not accepted. people who are depressed work sometimes ver hard and also don’t have time to think. they escape in work but become more drained and exhausted everyday because of unsolved issues. those people aren’t selfish, the have disfunctional views of the world and its my job to correct that view step by step by and giving them insight and alternative behavior. its not a choice to be depressed. i don’t know a signle person who was raped when he was a child ( a very sensitive period) who was neglected and teased for a long time that is able to get sane by himself. they aren’t selfish, they are broken and weak, and they need someone who has the patience to change their views and toughts (wich are often unconscious at first), and coping styles and its important to get the family involved so they can handle the situation right and so they can have understandment for the patients. sorry for my english

        • Toma
          January 27, 2014 at 2:16 PM #

          Hey Marie. You sound like a good person, and I am sure you help a lot of people, but you will help so many more if you stop labelling them as having ‘illnesses’ that don’t exist. Once you label people you alleviate them of their responsibility to self-correct. If you, as a trusted psychologist, tell someone who doesn’t have my convictions that they have an illness that a) doesn’t actually exist, and b) is not their fault, how in the hell are they going to fix it? It’s like pointing at a void and telling me to destroy whatever is in it, then watching me swing a sledgehammer at nothing but air.

          Why don’t we give a name to people who suffer from PTSD and Depression? Let’s call it Pospression. In the three seconds it took us to invent Pospression, nothing has changed in these people either psychologically or at a cellular level, yet they now magically suffer from it. Because of our ‘discovery’ of Pospression, there can now be a whole new category of therapists, and a whole new treatment methodology. We can even write books about it with lots of case studies and statistics that university students can study in Pospression 101. Pharmaceutical companies can invent new medication for Pospression that is a mix between Zoloft and Xanax, and they can call it Zolax. This is what depression is, and this is what you are doing to people by telling them that they suffer from it. It is NOT an illness. I find it ironic that therapists are the last ones to understand that.

          If you want to use your good nature to help even more people, don’t tell them what you think they have. Do all of the other good shit you said, but stop labelling them. If you do have to label them, because that’s what you’ve been blindly taught to do, then do it in your mind.

          • marie
            January 28, 2014 at 10:41 AM #

            heej Toma,
            ok lets get that straight, i don’t label people. We psychologists, well at least in my country, are trained a long time to think critical and are educated at least five years (education based on valid research). I don’t label people. I don’t say to them that they have a mental disorder. Thats indeed giving the people like a death sentence for depression for example. But we have to use them if we want psychiatric support to describe a medicine. Those medicins don’t help in the long run, thats true, but they help the persons who suffer so much that they aren’t able to anything about their situation, medication gives them a short relief so that i can begin to work with them. And its not that it is a definitive sentence when the person is ‘cured’. Well, i certainly, after getting the perspective of my patiënt ‘completely’, give them responsibilty of their problems too. Seems like you have a completely wrong view of psychologists. My patiënts have to work during the sessions, they do a lot of things, a lot, they certainly take responsibility and action. I make also a whole schema of the problems with all the underlying factors (in the perspective of the patiënt and my knowledge). That remembers me hah :p One even did let make a poster of it. And belief me, its confronting to see your own faults and responsibilities of your ‘disorder’ too, and that can only with a good build therapeutic bound and a lots of empathy with the help of specific technics. Those labels are needed so people over different countries can do research and talk about the same problems without completely different understanding of the concept . Its merely a practical thing to communicate that is very important, we wouldn’t be able to communicate about depression now or autisme or OCD if we hadn’t a concept in or head and a label for it. If it is a ilness or not don’t really matter to me, fact is it need to be ‘cured’ and most people want to be cured from it. Let me tell you something very personal about my life. I suffered cancer, in my ovarians, i can’t have children because of that. But it didn’t matter how tired it was, i had still hope, probably sucked more for the people around me. The ptsd i was diagnosed with after a horrible experience, i don’t gonna talk about it here and it doesn’t matter now, was the most horrible thing in my life and felt like the worst ilness. I did want to be it a ilness and recognised. Because you know, ill people get compassion and understandment, i never had that for my ptsd, and that was maybe even worse than the trauma itself. People couldn’t handle see me so pale and tired and still working, they or ignored me because i wasn’t that fun anymore, (i didn’t complain or anything or wasn’t rude, always friendly) or just minimazed what was going on and indirectly insulting me of being weak. Well, lukely and finally i’m stronger than ever before and have become a very ambitious woman and a fighter. I have times with sadness i never felt before that, i feel less happy, once i was that girl always smiling, but i’m more driven. Sorry, i’m getting of topic now. What i wanted to say by that is that some patiënts ask me what is wrong, want a label, not to release the responsibility ( i always call a patient like that a person with adhd for exampme, not a adhd’er), but to be recognised (that it isn’t entirely their fault), or to get helped in a centre that fits their needs that are for too long neglected. Like autistic persons who got help far too late. Also for example for depression, how longer a person is depressed, how more difficult it is to feel real again. Not tp be some numb person without a sense of self walking like a dead zombie anymore.

            • Mala
              January 28, 2014 at 2:30 PM #

              I apologize for the knee-jerk reaction. I’m not well and surely my defensiveness is evidence of that. I appreciate your well thought-out and honest response. TBH you sound a lot more grounded than most psychologists I know, including the ones in my own family (who I’ve never spoken to about my issues as that would be a huge conflict of interest). I appreciate you distinguishing between labeling people, and labeling symptoms as a means of understanding and communication between professionals, but be aware that not everyone thinks that way.

              I’m sorry that I was ugly in my response and I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to such an aggressive reply. I’ve just been having a hard time lately and I’ve finally gotten to the point where the only person who can help me is me. I want everyone to understand they can help themselves! And that they’re the only ones.

              I agree that medicine can help a lot of people get to the point where they can do the work, but too many people start popping pills and think that’s all they have to do, or do it for too long. I have been on medication. I wasted 5 years of my teens thinking they could help. I haven’t seriously need help since then until now, and the SSRIs actually triggered some horrifying other psychosis that I had not been experiencing, so I’m adamant to never go back.

              Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are a credit to your field.

        • Mala
          January 28, 2014 at 11:31 AM #

          I stopped reading after, “people like you who has never been as l