You’re not depressed. You’re selfish.

“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?”
— Jalal ad-Din Rumi, Persian poet and mystic

Depression is not real. It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads. Psychiatrists, in stereotypical attempts to make what they do look relevant, identify endless causes for depression, and for each cause there is an unnecessarily complex solution. My contention is that there is but one true cause, and it has to do with your centre.

I just feel sad. My career isn’t going well. My kids don’t talk to me. My dad was an alcoholic. I hate my job. I hate my life. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I don’t have many friends. People don’t like me …  are the sort of typical comments that we hear from the depressed. Nowhere in there is there a mention of other people. It’s all about you.

As humans we get in this state of sadness over very real psychological issues and we think about them endlessly, feeding them and making them worse than they ever needed to be. This creates emotions and chemical reactions in the body that doctors diagnose as ‘depression’.

Doctors see depression as a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes negative thoughts, but this is not actually the case. There are chemical imbalances, yes, but they are caused by negative thoughts, not the other way around. Doctors will prescribe you medication to correct the chemical imbalances, thinking it will therefore correct your thoughts. What you actually need is to correct your thoughts, and you will in turn correct your chemical imbalances. Think positive and you will feel positive.

Why in poor countries are reported rates of depression significantly less than in western countries? We have everything, they have nothing. You’d think that somebody who doesn’t have food for their family would feel pretty fucking depressed, yet no, it’s the western businessman with everything who feels depressed. The superficial reasons could be many, but ultimately it comes down to one thing: the poor man doesn’t have the time to sit there thinking about himself. The poor man spends his time trying to feed himself and/or his family. This gives his daily life meaning, and it removes that infamous word ‘I‘ from his thoughts.

If you’re depressed my advice to you is to stop thinking about what you want, what you don’t have or what others have. Focus on something greater than yourself, be happy for what you have and what you are and cherish it. Remove the word ‘I’ from your vocabulary and you will find a happiness that you haven’t felt since you were a child.

Cherish the smallest moments that life offers, like sitting under a tree on a beautiful day, the breeze against your skin, with not a thought in the world. Remember that by focussing on yourself and your ‘depression’ you’re making life harder on you and on those who love you. They have to deal with your self-inflicted bullshit the same way you do. It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on them, and at the end of it all, when you do snap yourself out of it and ‘suddenly’ feel better, the truth will come to light. And that truth?

Your depression was all in your head. It wasn’t real. You were never actually depressed. You were just being selfish. And if you refuse to admit that you were simply being selfish, then you still are.



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  • Reply Venkat March 9, 2013 at 3:09 AM

    Good read. WOW I like your writing style.

    • Reply Toma March 9, 2013 at 7:50 AM

      Thanks, Venkat. I appreciate your feedback.

      • Reply charity.fuzessy July 11, 2013 at 12:36 AM

        I agree
        depression is selfish . There are things in life that lead to feeling apathy and self loathing and wanting to quit though too some people feel heartbbroken discourAged used tired of caring alot and not being loved in return some people are frustrated and defranchised also the selfish uncaring actions of people can lead a joyful person to feel depressed because quite possibly the depressed person is angry over unrequitted love from the selfishguy she fell in love with. It hurts to give your heart to someone that doesn’t care anything about it, depresssion is complicated. You cant get lost in it because inessence. Its not worth grieving to the point of tragedy when you have to. Be strong those that do need you. Im just gonna find my joy in othet things oter then that mean msn that. Nrike my heart

        • Reply charity.fuzessy July 11, 2013 at 12:49 AM

          Its selfish to want to fall in love with a selfish person because it will effect every asect of your liffe and make you miserablee and then those around you wil always sad and that’s not fair to themm

          • lilian506 November 17, 2013 at 12:32 PM

            how the hell is it selfish to fall in love with someone regardless of whether they are selfish or not? falling in love is a totally different kettle of fish and last time I checked something you can’t really control.

          • Nor March 19, 2014 at 1:22 AM

            I totally agree with lilian506.
            Depression in some aspects can come of as selfish but it isn’t all that, don’t replace depression with JUST selfishness.
            Although I do agree that a vast majority of us just have self inflicted depression.

          • maria March 20, 2014 at 1:11 PM

            why everyone think that depression is caused by love? it can be caused by abuse, lost of loved one, or family member, who do you think you are to even say that depression is selfish?

          • Natalie March 21, 2014 at 2:18 AM

            Who? I’ll tell you who – a human being with a point of view, even if it’s different from you.

          • Beth Mastrodonato June 14, 2014 at 10:44 AM

            you are quite the staunch supporter–or an alter ego

          • Natalie February 15, 2015 at 3:05 AM

            Real interesting tactic – suggest I am Toma simply because I point out it’s OK to disagree. I simply find Toma’s writing unique. I don’t find much food for thought on the internet these days about depression/

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 9:47 AM

            ti agree with u ! and making such a statement is completely absurd when the one is actually oblivious of the fact that what really causes depression! it’s not just love! they need to open up there minds and actually have at least have the required information!

          • Pete April 4, 2014 at 4:27 PM

            Depression is a sense of helplessness, a feeling of or experiencing futility of life.

            It is not, “I haven’t got this trinket,” or “my mug can scare a scarecrow.”

            You can’t really write about it if you haven’t felt it. Reading “Crime and Punishment” might help.

          • Liberty July 12, 2014 at 9:04 PM

            I agree completely @Pete. My motto in life is “to understaqnd, you must experience.”

          • Natalie February 15, 2015 at 3:09 AM

            If you look at it as helplessness, it shares a lot in common with self-pity. In other words, seeing circumstances as not a result of one’s own choices and projecting blame outward. Self-pity is a large indicator of clinical narcissism and related disorders. I don’t think I need to explain that much more.

          • sbeam July 19, 2014 at 5:51 AM

            I agree that depression isn’t selfish. It is a disease like cancer, diabetes, etc. It’s real and not in our heads. It causes real emotional pain. You aren’t an expert from what I’ve read.

          • Natalie July 19, 2014 at 7:55 AM

            Whether he’s an expert or not doesn’t justify the sweeping statements you made. That’s only what you believe it to be. To me, it is all in my head. I practice understanding and working with my emotions. It sucks sometimes but when I near giving to and feeling sorry for myself I can often lift myself. The mind can’t be treated as any other organ. My negative and dark thoughts/emotions cannot be compared to cancer.

          • Chandler July 22, 2014 at 11:43 PM

            okay let’s get one thing straight; feeling sad isn’t depression. clinical depression IS a chemical imbalance which causes you to feel sad, anxious, etc. so while you may feel sad, that does not necessarily mean you are depressed.

          • Natalie February 15, 2015 at 3:14 AM

            Chandler, you know best, and obviously you know me so I can’t argue with you.

            Since I try and work through it myself, I’m clearly not really depressed. Really though, there are those who are depressed and those who are immune to reason/reality.

          • Cobi50 June 24, 2014 at 12:22 PM

            There are real reasons to be depressed, i.e., a loved one dies. Then there are the myriad bullcrap reasons that most of us become depressed over. IF we would all just drink and dance with one hand free….ahhh we would be much happier as a culture.

          • katelyn April 19, 2015 at 6:22 AM

            omg your so rude im not selfish how about you get your god dam facts right ass hole first off you have no idea what your saying 2nd we cant control how we feel its not are fault that some time we cant move or cant talk because are body wont let us its not our fault that we are locked up and cant get out im sorry if you feel that and charity.fuzessy its not fair for you to be an ass now is it …. you need to stay out of this because you dont know what you talking about .. do you know how it feels when your friends are alwas asking you to go to there house our go hang out but you cant for no reason but you really want to do you ever just wish that the sun whould just stop shining so bright DO YOU EVER NO WHAT IF FEELS LIKE FOR YOU PEOPLE TO SAY SHIT LIKE THIS it hurts bad you might not undersstand with your tiny little brian but it hurts like hell … once depressin pulls you in theres no escape !!!!!!


          • Shelby July 13, 2015 at 5:29 PM

            This is stupid! Depression… Are you kidding me? Who ever says it’s selfish doesn’t know what it’s like! I know people who have gone threw so much! People I know get called fat and then by the same people get called Anorexic! It’s a fucking illness, it’s not a fucking rich snobby little girl! People have killed the, selves because they think it’s not worth it! They aren’t doing it to get attention. If they were they wouldn’t kill themselves. If they desperate for attention they wouldn’t kill themselves… If they did they would get attention. But by then it wouldn’t matter. People don’t do that, unless they are spoiled brats. It’s selfish to think that Depression is being Selfish! Are you shitting me? You have absolutely no right to judge people. You don’t feel their pain, so for all of you… piss off, you are all desperate little bitch’s that have to hate on people. Don’t you think you could give them a break? So stop…

          • Alyssa August 30, 2015 at 1:31 PM

            People Are fighting saying depression is real etc. because they get called rude names by other people and we don’t know what it’s like? Everybody knows what that’s like, honestly if everyone just shined a more positive light on other people we would never have this problem, but they do so you need to learn to deal with it.

        • Reply Emma September 8, 2013 at 6:31 AM

          Depression is an illness. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it is not real. Your article seems to be on people who say they are depressed when they are just feeling sad about something. There is a big difference. I am depressed because I am. No cause, I am just ill and I have to deal with it.
          Stop being so stupidly simple about a massively complicated subject that you obviously do not understand in any detail.

          • Wendy Adelissa Mason October 18, 2013 at 12:42 PM

            I totally agree Emma. Studies have been done that people with depression have a smaller area in the brain that deals with adaptation. One day I just started crying. There was no reason. My life was going good. Then all the physiological changes happened. Sleeping 14 hours a day because I had no energy. My whole world was in slow motion. And what people don’t realize is by calling us selfish you press those guilt buttons already so sensitive in a depressed person. I agree you should fight it and not give into it, if it is in your ability. For me I needed help and am now on an antidepressant which has helped me a lot. People who haven’t experienced something firsthand should be very careful not to judge.

          • will December 4, 2013 at 11:22 AM

            Those grey areas are smaller because of the way you think. Your brain is like a muscle, it shrinks if you don’t use it right dummy.

            Just be grateful for the little things in life because where we’re all heading in’t not getting any better than this.

          • Bill December 24, 2013 at 5:44 AM

            That’s absolute tripe, Will. Your brain is not a muscle, it’s an organ, and your brain is where your thoughts come from in the first place. They don’t magically transport there from some mystical aether. Your thoughts ARE controlled by your brain, hence why depression exists and why it is a DISEASE, not a choice. You should be ashamed for trying to offer people advice from such a position of ignorance and, yes, stupidity.

          • Juan Laguerta December 24, 2013 at 7:50 AM


          • Jack January 1, 2014 at 12:37 PM

            You’re an idiot. If free will and fucking sunshine cured cancer, no one would die from it, ever. I don’t care if you’re a troll or not, I came to this blog already pissed, so I’m replying anyway.

          • Bokuno sururu January 1, 2014 at 1:06 PM

            It doesn’t cure cancer but there are documented cases of people beating cancer with their will power. Stress can destroy you physically and stress is purely psychological. Your brain has a prolific effect on your physical body and you cannot deny that. And you can’t expect to think like a fucking dumbass for a lifetime and walk away with a perfectly healthy brain. Depression is psychosomatic. It’s self inflicted. I GET IT. THERE IS A FUCKING CHEMICAL IMBALANCE. IT’S THERE. I SEE IT. WHOOPTY FUCKING DOO. YOU MANAGED TO FUCK YOURSELF UP SO MUCH THAT IT SHOWED UP PHYSICALLY. THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOUR ILLNESS VALID OR LESS OF A PATHETIC JOKE BECAUSE IT’S YOUR DEMENTED MENTALITY THAT GOT YOU THERE AND IT’S YOUR MENTALITY THAT SHOULD GET YOU OUT.


          • Ro January 3, 2014 at 1:33 PM

            This is so wrong. Holy shit are people really saying this shit. Depression isn’t just feeling sad, you know that right Bokuno and Juan?

          • Jon February 26, 2014 at 3:35 AM

            Why do you people feel compelled to switch to CAPSLOCK to yell your point at the person you’re clearly looking down on? Why even reply to people you look down on?

          • Juan Laguerta February 26, 2014 at 1:15 PM

            You don’t scream at people you look down on. You’re not angry at people you look down on. If you really looked down on somebody they wouldn’t matter enough for you to even give a shit and be mad.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:30 AM

            You have your opinion, and so does the other side…but you’re probably too self-absorbed and victimized to see it. No need for name-calling.

          • Rachel May 3, 2014 at 7:03 AM

            So, this is why I usually don’t read these articles… They frustrate me, and there’s no point in explaining why because people refuse to listen. People have to understand that we’re getting very philosophical here, everyone is looking at something from their beliefs and experiences, it’s entirely opinion and preconceived notions. Everyone thinks they know everything, but they don’t (This is from both sides). As for depressed people being ‘selfish’, well, maybe I am selfish. I’m depressed, because I choose to think negative thoughts. I think negative thoughts because it’s easier to be negative than it is to be positive. I’m not romanticizing anything, I just choose to look at things negatively. Being happy takes effort and vulnerability. I am sick of sucking it up and ignoring emotional pain and forcing myself to be happy, when I know it isn’t real. Thinking positively doesn’t make problems any easier. Maybe I am being selfish. I’m keeping it to myself and being unfair to myself, but all I want to do is be realistic. If I’m having a tough time, and I can’t take it, being cheerful makes it harder. Expecting the worst makes it routine. So, I’m selfish. And I’m going to continue to be, because it’s the only way I know how to get by.

          • Natalie May 3, 2014 at 10:13 AM

            This I understand.

          • Ro January 3, 2014 at 1:38 PM

            What is wrong with you? Why are you writing in all caps? And how can you judge someone on something that you don’t understand at all, in fact you have no concept of it at all because you’ve never felt it. I sincerely hope you’re a troll.

            And by the way, medicine beats cancer. Not people “telling their bodies to not be sick,” dumbass.

          • Juan Laguerta January 3, 2014 at 3:48 PM

            Writing in caps is me venting because of people like you. We are all human. I can judge whoever the ***K I want because I feel that as a member of the same species I have that authority. Not to mention, I know people with depression. I am aware the medicine defeats cancer but I thought people had the sense to connect the dots without me spelling it out for them. DO I REALLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN. Go ask any doctor he will tell you that a patient’s mentality is a crucial factor in their recovery and in many cases it has been THE deciding factor. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT I WAS SAYING WASN’T THAT PEOPLE WITH CANCER MAGICALLY CURE THEMSELVES BUT THAT WITH THE HELP OF THERAPY THEY BEAT CANCER WITH THEIR WILL POWER; HAD THEY NOT BEEN THE STRONG PERSON THAT THEY ARE, HAD THEY BEEN A LAZY, *********, ****** LIKE YOU, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE MADE IT. Studies have shown that your cells begin to decay the moment you utterly give in to death. I don’t have to understand depression, which btw I do, to know that beating it cannot possibly compare to beating cancer. Yet, people with depression whine twice as much. I’m saying the brain has such an effect on PHYSICAL inflictions, then it has an infinitely more powerful effect on mental afflictions(if you could even refer to it as an affliction seeing as it is mostly self-inflicted).

            Depression makes me angry because for it to happen you have to embrace it. You have to foster it. YOU have to allow it in. And that’s exactly what you do and then you come back wondering why you want to kill yourself. It’s so f**king strange that you always thought like a retard for a lifetime and suddenly you have this inexplicable urge to kill yourself. YOU KNOW IT’S WEIRD, I’VE BEEN THINKING LIKE A PESSIMISTIC RETARDED MAGGOT FOR 19 YEARS AND FOR SOME STRANGE REASON I SUDDENLY HAVE THE URGE TO KILL MYSELF. I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT. ALL I DID WAS TREAT MY BRAIN LIKE A PUNCHING BAG I DONT UNDERSTAND. Depression also makes me angry because you have to be real scum to take a human life regardless of whom it belongs to. THATS WHY IM TYPING IN CAPS

          • elvis January 16, 2014 at 8:24 PM

            knock on wood bokuno that you never have anything seriously wrong with you that exceeds modern medicine or a family member or would you be in a position to deliver the news that an individual perhaps a father/brother/son/husband has a terminal disease you are going to tell the family that it is all in a mental malfunction. Furthermore, you are not an authority nor even a neophyte to the subject which you speak why not leave the conjecture to the people that actually conduct research and orient meta-analytic analysis.

          • Bokuno sururu January 17, 2014 at 4:50 AM

            Do you see how you word it? The way you make it sound like it’s COMPLETELY out of your power and there is absolutely nothing you can do. Why is it that people with depression emphasis so much and cling on so dearly to the idea that it is out of their power to do anything? Why is it that someone with an ACTUALLY terminal illness will fight and do everything in their power to live while ignoring everyone that says it’s terminal while someone with depression automatically decides that it just is out of their power?
            I’m on just as much of an authority as you are. Maybe even more because I have actually examined the topic objectively from multiple points of view while you are bias.

          • annoyedatthispost February 12, 2014 at 9:28 AM

            Why are people hating on depression and depressed people if they haven’t felt it themselves? You can’t judge a fucking soul unless you’ve been in their shoes. Yes, maybe being depressed is a selfish choice to believe negative thoughts: but how do you know if you haven’t experienced it? All haters can fuck off, in my opinion.

          • Estaban Haroon February 12, 2014 at 2:46 PM

            Nearly everyone has faced depression in their lives. Some people just wallow in it more than others and that’s what the ‘illness’ is. And I say illness in the same way alcoholism is referred to as an illness. They say that to you in therapy and everyone pretends like it was out of their power but everyone knows it’s your own fucking fault for being an alcoholic. I understand now why you have to pretend like it’s not your own doing because the second you do you the illness is no longer there, it just becomes a shitty habit that you never got rid of and that makes all the ‘suffering’ you’ve been through invalid which it is. I don’t feel superior to people with depression I just feel like they’re dicks. Cos it’s not about fighting or power it’s about choices and values. Just because I don’t have depression doesn’t mean I’m better than you, it just means I’m less of an asshole than you in a certain aspect BECAUSE LET ME YOU I AM AN ASSHOLE IN MANY OTHER ASPECTS. I call people with depression idiots because they need to see how fucking demented they are. Im just trying to hold up a giant mirror in your demented fucking depressed ass face just to show you the shitty person you chose(and continue to chose) to become.

          • elli adkins February 14, 2014 at 5:11 AM

            Take a psychology course, look up placebo effect, open your mind.

          • Kity March 11, 2014 at 8:36 AM

            Hi Ro :D I know this is way after the date but welcome to the internet, where the stupidity in human is exposed. Internet debates always get way out of control and it almost impossible to have any kind of rational debate. Try and remember that people who comment very negatively on posts often have mental health problems and at the very least self-esteem issues. Just smile and know that in the real world, 90% of people are supporting you. :)

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:29 AM

            On the other hand, those who are depressed usually have no idea what they’re doing to those around them. Come on, everybody’s world is allowed to revolve around them. Depressed people don’t have a right to use the resources of others. Usually this happens when guilt is used.

          • Calum Bliss April 1, 2014 at 9:44 AM

            @Estaban. Everyone has experienced sadness. Depression is completely different.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 9:50 AM

            way to go ro! (y)

          • peetookhete April 4, 2014 at 4:47 PM

            To Estaban Haroon.

            “I don’t feel superior to people with depression I just feel like they’re dicks.”

            Therefore you are either the same or inferior. So, you are either a dick or worse than a dick.

          • Hithier Texidor January 16, 2014 at 6:26 PM

            Explain to me how a person who was raised like shit their whole entire lives can simply learn how to think positive thoughts? You’re just an ignorant piece of fucking garbage that deserves no type of recognition whatsoever. Saying somebody can not be depressed because some shy has it worse is like saying you can’t be happy because somebody is happier. How about the people who are bullied then? The people who were raped? The people who seen their friends or family get killed? Or they pathetic for being depressed? Are they? You guys disgusts me. Oh god. You can’t be human. I honestly feel like throwing up. It’s hard to believe that people like you exist. How can you attack depressed people with such pathetic reasons? Close-minded ignoramus fools are what all of you who agree with this sorry excuse for a human. His premises were because of miniscal reasons. Also, he doesn’t seem to understand that everyone has their mind and emotions programmed differently. Fuck you!

          • Juan Laguerta January 17, 2014 at 4:40 AM

            A person raised like shit their whole entire lives can learn to think positive thoughts the same way a person raised in a wonderful, nourishing, environment can learn to kill and rape or even be depressed. The minute you give in to your surroundings YOU become less than human. Being human is being conscious and making choices that YOU alone are responsible for. No one and nothing can MAKE you do or think anything, you can only be influenced. I mentioned people having it 10 times worse to put life in perspective because people with depression tend to have a narrow view of the world and MAYBE, if they begin to see that their date cancelling on them is not QUITE as bad as living in the streets or the desert, they can begin to see how much they blow their tiny problems out of fucking proportion. I know people who have had it FAR worse than just a ‘verbally abusive parent’ or a less than successful ‘love life’ that grew up to be something better than you or I. You are fucking human and you can make whatever you want of yourself and if you CHOOSE to immerse yourself in your own broken way of thinking that you don’t care to let go of then that’s YOUR call. I’m not close-minded, YOU ARE. I’ve seen it from your point of view a hundred times but YOU didn’t for one second try to truly see things the way they are.
            I didn’t say fucking everyone with cancer is magically cured because they’re strong willed. I’m saying that in some cases the KEY FACTOR to the patient’s recovery was their sheer will to live. Not fucking everything is black and white and that’s another example of your narrow-mindedness. Instead of seeing that as an example of just how much power human will can have you decided to criticize the fact that most people don’t recover from cancer that way. You completely denied it without giving it second thought or trying to see what I was trying to say and I think that makes you more narrow-minded that I am. We all have our own brains and each one is different and special but all of them have the potential to be everything we want them to be and more. I will not stand here and let you debase what it means to be human with your narrow-mindedness and lack of will. WE decide who we are and what we do. If your family was murdered you can either grief for a while and deal with the pain and move on, live in denial for the rest of your life, or just immerse yourself in the grief until you want to kill the pathetic excuse for a human that you are. It would be YOUR CALL.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 9:58 AM

            i so agree with u! such ruthless assholes! one even brought up cancer in this discussion! i mean can u believe it ! hah! depression effects the brain! one looses control over his thinking ability or the ability to make decisions! cancer doe not do that plus ony by ur thoughts ..nothing really can be cured without medication! such oblivious fools! the article completely pissed me off!

          • Gurkiran April 30, 2014 at 3:32 AM

            This is a very hard, controversial thing to talk about, and no one will ever get round to the real reason unless you’re prepared to eradicate it.
            Depression.. well… Some of us don’t know if we have it, so we can’t get much recognition? How do we know if we don’t seek help? When you’re feeling at your lowest point, you don’t seek for help do you. Some people seek or wallow in pity, afraid to speak up for themselves.
            As being said everything we speak about in life is very controversial. For example I can’t say depression doesn’t exist, but I’m convinced that I have had some sort of slump in my life. We all go through phases. It’s just molly coddled. It’s emphasised too much. We don’t speak to each other in a good manner, shit happens to us and we just wallow. We don’t talk. When you don’t feed yourself and you stop talking to people, you fall into ruts and then you wonder why you’re feeling this way. I’ve been there so I know. Depression isn’t selfish just like suicide isn’t selfish. Suicide was there because we let it get to us – from a young age we’re more prone to be vulnerable and less efficient.
            So overall, judging by this blog, I need enough evidence and back up to suggest that depression is selfish.

          • LogicOverEmotions July 9, 2014 at 12:45 AM

            You are calling us close minded ignorant fools because we agree with an intelligent writer? People in third world countries deal with Rape and dead family constantly, they are not raised well, and guess what, they are still not depressed; as the writer said, they do not have time to mope about feeling sorry for themselves. You clearly missed the entire point of this article. Not everyone has emotions programmed differently, we are all humans (sadly). You do not seem to understand that the use of profanity and angry tone in your response reveals to the average person that you are not qualified in anyway to respond correctly to this article. You should simply keep your silly thoughts to yourself.

          • Susan Lea Rudd July 9, 2014 at 7:10 AM

            Toma was the one who as a non-qualified, ignorant fool proceeded to write an article insulting and degrading depressed people. He nullifys scientific research as if he is some sort of god. He deserves every foul comment he got.

            Who says poor people and/or natives or people long ago don’t/ didn’t get depressed??? Just because no one is researching or writing about it doesn’t mean it didn’t/isn’t happening. Actually there is much evidence people did have mental illness – but I am sure Toma would dismiss it.

            Many religious people want to believe that life was soooooo much better during some long ago time – which is simply BS. Yes there were fewer divorces 50 years ago; people just stayed miserably married. Once women gained rights and economic power, they had the means to support themselves and dump abusive jackasses. More women than men initiate divorce. Could it be because men are unreasonable toads that have refused to change with the times? Could this be why rates of depression are higher in women (always)?

          • elvis January 16, 2014 at 8:00 PM

            juan laguerta you are amazing i guess by your estimation and logic everyone that dies of cancer just gave in and conceeded to cancer. you are a moron no more could a person decide to be taller than decide to beat cancer or not have depression…why would anyone decide to have depression…i understand that you are frustrated and therefor use capitalization improperly either address a genuine topic with genuine points or fuck off. You are a piece of shit and if you and i lived close together fuck all this internet stuff i would beat the living shit out of you you ignorant small minded piece of shit.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:35 AM

            Instead of attacking Juan for expressing a valid opinion, have you tried looking at the validating support you’ve received so far? I don’t agree with either because life is way too complicated, and honestly, why our opinions on this matters beats me. There are so many different types of people and just too much intolerance and validation-seeking.

          • Beth Mastrodonato June 14, 2014 at 10:48 AM

            does anyone know who this jerk Natalie is really–she has a lot of arguments to blow anyone out of the water who disagrees with TOMa…so is it him or his mother, sister or girlfriend or his disciple or what..look thru and see her postings. You may need a bag to throw up in

          • Craig February 22, 2014 at 12:35 PM

            Your level of ignorance needs not to be addressed as it’s obviously through the roof. And your intellect needs not to be addressed, as one can clearly see by not only your perspective but your grammar and your choice of language, that your level of education and IQ are well obviously lacking. So, I guess all of that being said; there is nothing really to be addressed… ;)

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:32 AM

            I can see where you’re coming from, Craig, but I can also see where Ro is coming from. How about not attacking someone for having a different opinion from the masses? I’m sure it gets frustrating for Ro. You have a ton of support here, so just try enjoy it and feel validated in your view.

          • dan March 21, 2014 at 7:43 AM

            At craig . Pure and sweet . Nothing else needs to be said

          • Joe Crowley February 26, 2014 at 4:52 AM

            ironically it seems as if you’ve just acted on a very judgmental and close-minded impulse yourself. You really need to consider other people’s lives more realistically without your opinion being clouded by your own biases. Like your clear jealousy towards people who have more money than you. It was not my choice for my father to die, it was not my choice for my mother to be mentally disabled, it was not my choice to be abused physically and verbally for years in my own home by my family. It’s not my fault my family never had any money. It is not my fault that I have a tendency to think down on myself, though I know better, and luckily for me I don’t HAVE to be depressed about such things. But I have grown much and am not as fortunate as other people with even worse lives than me.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:39 AM

            so much yes

          • sharille fournier March 4, 2014 at 1:59 AM

            i have to say you are an idiot Juan Laguerta. You also obviously do not have a command of the English language because the F work seems to be used for everything. Telling someone who is obviously ill and desperate to jump off a balcony is irresponsible. Get a life and stop swearing and using capitals to state your case. You can’t judge until you live in someone else’s shoes and this man’s article is ridiculous.

          • Juan Laguerta March 4, 2014 at 2:53 PM

            Is this seriously your rebuttal? “you suck, you dont know what its like until youve been there, just cos someone wants to kill themselves doesnt make them irresponsible”. Good job. Good job. Very nice. You told me.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:43 AM

            Let me see if I have this right…so you deserve validating support for your clearly biased opinion and any possible personality disorder(s) while Juan deserves to be be called names? Hmm..

          • mickey April 28, 2014 at 12:28 PM

            Juan, you are a very scared person, frightened of losing control- very obvious. thinking positively is a state of mind- do you know what that means? it is TAUGHT. when one is taught to hate themselves, when they are horrendously abused, when they are SOLD into slavery, how exactly do you think they can wake up one day and say “oh gee, I will just fart rainbows and sunshine” cause I just feel like it! there are many people out there who have had no direction in life, who were never cared for. you are obviously VERY sheltered- you also need to expand your mind with education- read a book. actually read a lot, you need it.

          • what was that March 7, 2014 at 1:57 AM

            Yes because clearly you know the ins and outs of medical depression. Lets not even get into manic depression here shall we because if I started that you would be wrong on every assertion. Depression is not something you simply choose to have or not have in the end if it is real depression your body does not have the chemicals to generate these oh so positive emotions that you like so much. Why dont you provide me some cited proof on a few things along with a detailed medical examination on how depression is all in the head. As for making choices to do things how about you consider that choices are nothing more then little tiny things that happen in your brain that accumulate to make said choice.

          • Juan Laguerta March 7, 2014 at 8:48 AM

            I won’t give you jack shit. In the mean time enjoy wallowing in your own pathetic self pity with the nice little excuse you’ve conjured up because that’s what you want. Clearly you’re not interested in changing the way you think, all you’re interested in is making your current shitty state of mind OK to have. You’re not interested in changing because if you were truly interested in changing you wouldn’t have depression in the first place. You’re like a drug addict that’s out telling people that drugs are actually ok rather than facing his own damn shitty choices and just not doing the fucking drugs. Enjoy. Don’t let me take depression away from you because that’s clearly all you’ve got seeing how dearly you cling on to it.

          • Cat March 25, 2014 at 6:25 AM

            As someone who’s chronically depressed, comes in waves, thoughts of suicide.. I think I’m selfish. I have so much to live for, I have so many opportunities. I’m young. Sure my dad was an alcoholic, I watched him abuse my mom my whole life, I was somewhat of a druggie in high school, I dropped out, my sister fucked my boyfriend lol.. I really fucked things up for myself because I spent most of my time sitting in the closet and crying about how fucked up the world is and how fucked up my life is. Feeling bad for myself all of the time. I knew I was selfish at the time too. And over the years of trying to fight this, I’ve noticed that all I have to do is do my laundry and clean my room to feel a bit better. Paint and write, push myself out of the house in the morning just because I know the sun will be good for my Psyche. Sometimes I feel like I have no feelings and it scares me, and then i get depressed x) sometimes I get depressed because I’m selfish, and I’m selfish because I’m depressed lol it’s a ridiculous cycle, and I’m tired of being selfish, I’m tired of being depressed. I know that it’s not rational, I will always be able to find something to be sad about. I’m selfish as all hell. I could be making something of myself to make the world I constantly cry about a bit better. I can be happy, I just have to make it happen for myself. I believe that this thought process that I’ve become stuck in is a habit and that I can free myself of it by simply being productive and being a “good parent to myself” as my mother likes to say (: but yeah, stop fighting. Reading this I just see so much repressed anger lol love will cure everyone of their diseases, at least that’s what I hope.. You won’t know until you try

          • Cat March 25, 2014 at 6:36 AM

            Also.. I kind of really believe that we have the power to influence our physical state with our state of mind, I’m no expert on any of this so this is really just an opinion based on observation.. My mom and my dad are supposedly manic depressives, and I can definitely see how that’s true x) I also think they’re selfish.. And deeply interesting people. I love them to death don’t get me wrong. Anyway, my mom was on anti-depressants, she isn’t anymore, they helped but she was neurotic. Too much energy, it was fake. When she didn’t have them she was a mess. Worse than before she started. I couldn’t get her out of bed for a month. She was addicted and couldn’t function without them. My dad is a citizen but Mexican, he also “needed” to get prescribed some anti-depressants. They used him as a guinea pig. It was bad. Too much of this, take some of that, try some of this, take more of that. They were sucking them dry financially. I believe that they want us to believe that it’s a disease because this society that we live in is concerned about profitability, not their patients. If we believe that we’re sick and that the pills will take away the sadness then we’ll spend as much money as we can to make that happen. We work, we get our wage, we spend it on happy pills, repeat the process.. We become zombies/automatons for the system focused on expansion and profit. I’m probably biased and missing a lot of the pieces to the puzzle but this is what I’ve gathered. I will find a way to be happy without the help of drugs of any sort. Sunshine and productivity is my medicine.

          • Toma March 25, 2014 at 6:59 AM

            You’ve understood more than enough. Pharmaceutical companies want us hooked. Anti-depressants and anti-psychotics are perfect for them as we take them daily, and indefinitely. It’s not a conspiracy theory. It’s business logic.

          • Cat March 25, 2014 at 7:58 AM

            I have one more thing to add, it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Just because someone has it worse doesn’t mean you have to write off the pain that you do feel because that’s not going to help at all. It’s good to recognize that you are not the only one that pains in life, but it’s also good to give your own pain recognition and accept that it’s there, you have to be able to comfort yourself before you move on. Like my mom said, you have to be a good parent to yourself. The trick is not getting stuck in a loop of negative thoughts. That happens to me, I’ll hurt and then there will be this voice that says REALLY awful things about me to me. It physically struck me down once, it was terrifying. And I realized that I gave that negative voice too much power. There will always be a negative voice, everybody has one. But there’s also a positive one that you need to listen to. Balance is difficult, but it is key to remaining sane and functional. You have to let the negative voice be constructive criticism instead of just cruel. We all have flaws, if you embrace them the negative voice won’t have much to go on.

          • Cat March 25, 2014 at 8:15 AM

            I think people are also forgetting the fact that it’s systemic. I blame it on capitalism x) This is an individualistic society, everyone is very involved in themselves. And then the media, wanting to make profit of course, objectifies the individual to sell corporate products. We all have this image of what we should be. Girls get depressed because they’re not skinny, they don’t have that “thigh gap” or perky boobs, boys get depressed because they don’t have abs or a big cock. We have all of these ideas of what we should be and we don’t embrace what we are. It feeds that negative voice. And our school system, starting from when we are very young, encourage us to be “The Best” and we end up constantly comparing ourselves to each other. As a society we have become selfish. Depression and suicide rates have skyrocketed if nobody has noticed lol the link between suicide and capitalism? There’s something to think about.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 10:03 AM

            thank u!

          • Pete April 4, 2014 at 5:12 PM

            @juan laguerta,

            In the last decade, about 100,000 U.S. veterans and active duty military personnel have committed suicide.

            By your account they must be a bunch of pussies, right?

          • Toma April 4, 2014 at 5:16 PM

            Hi Pete. Shit no. I actually wrote a post about PTSD after a war veteran commented on this article.


          • Maple March 18, 2014 at 1:51 AM

            Okay, Juan, I can see where you’re coming from – to a degree. I can see how you think depression is selfish and pathetic. You look at a depressed person and probably think/say, “Grow a pair and stop bitching.”

            But has it ever occurred to you – any of you that think its selfish – that depressed people do not know that they’re depressed? It’s not until someone drags them in to see a doctor or therapist that they know – and even then some live in denial!

            Or has it ever occurred to you that that depressed person has a little voice in their head feeding them negative lies? The voice distorts their perception of the world over time, rendering it so that they can no longer see happiness.

            Yes, people who come from broken homes and have gotten abused can make something out of their life. But the chances of them falling into depression increase. Why? Think of it this way: All your life – ever since you can remember – you’ve been put down and compared and been called degrading names. Or been physically/sexually abused. Ever since you can remember, no one in your home cares for you. You’ve been neglected. This gives life to three viewpoints: To some, it breeds hate and thus leads them into violence and gangs. Others, they take from that experience and use it to change the world for the better. And the third way is falling into self-loathing and/or depression.

            Let’s focus on the third one, shall we?

            Your personality and mentality sprouts from how you are raised and the people you hang out with. If you come from a broken home where everyday someone puts you down, you’d start to believe it eventually. Why? Because that was how you were raised. You were raised to believe that you’re a piece of shit and no one wants you. Thoughts start to form in your head – dangerous thoughts – and soon you feel your world crumbling. The brain, due to having it in that mind-set, distorts your world to only see the negative. To only think the negative. And if that’s how you’re raised, you don’t see the problem.

            So you’re already in this depressed mind-set when someone comes up to you and says, “You’re selfish.”

            BAM! That comment only fuels the negative thoughts, which in turn fuels the distorted world, which then fuels the depression. Only you don’t know you’ve got depression because those thoughts have been there for as long as you can remember.

            Slowly your world gets darker and you start to feel hopeless and numb. Some might turn to cutting just to feel alive. “Attention whore! Desperate bitch! You’re so emo!” People exclaim upon noticing what you’re doing.

            More fuel for the blue flame.

            Eventually you just don’t see the point of living anymore. ‘What’s the point?’ You think. ‘If this is my life, what’s the point?’ And that’s when you decide upon suicide.

            Do you see now, Juan? Do you see what these people are going through? They can’t help it. Calling them selfish isn’t the way to go. Usually when people are depressed, they have more problems than just a stood-up date. That stood-up date could have just been the straw that broke the camel’s back and triggered the depression.

            Just because your problems aren’t as big as someone else’s, it doesn’t make them insignificant.

          • Sister Latch Key March 21, 2014 at 6:00 AM


          • maria March 20, 2014 at 1:16 PM

            juan laguerta, you don’t even know how depressed you are, for even make the comment you made

          • Natalie March 21, 2014 at 2:30 AM

            The depressed like to bring others into their misery, too. As satisfying as it might be to you, Juan is not depressed by his comment.

            You and all the other selfish crybabies here expect agreement – of course he’s frustrated.

          • i don't get the point June 8, 2014 at 12:51 PM

            depressed people don’t like to bring other to misery , in fact we don’t want other people to know, and that’s a huge problem. I never told anyone about it, answering only “i’m fine” , “it’s okay, i just got a bad sleep night”. The psychology is the only guy i ever told about it. Why would i make other people suffer for something they cleary can’t do anything ? People around would only look at me as “illness and sad”, and worry.

          • Yara March 23, 2014 at 2:26 PM

            Reading this reminded me of the lack of empathy in society today. You are a shinning example of ignorance. You’re argument about cancer confuses me. If you believe people beat cancer because they told their body too, what about those who don’t? Also, material wealth has nothing to do with depression, ever heard the phrase money can’t buy you happiness? The reason some people idolize depression is because sadness is the feeling they connect to, it consumes them, and yes, its a cycle thats hard to get out of. Truth is, you are a very politically incorrect individual, words like “retard” are demeaning. No body grows up wanting to die, its the events in life that make us that way. Can you really look at a rape victim, or a severely bullied individual in the eye and tell them that it’s their fault? I understand the value to resilence, but one person can only take so much. Educate yourself.

          • anon April 1, 2014 at 4:19 PM

            Natalie , youre bringing everyone down with your own misery . youre a judgemental selfish person who doesnt know anything . Youre a big fat hypocrite to sit there and judge others. Youre no doctor . Maybe someday you’ll get depressed and no one understands your pain . Karma.

          • Natalie April 1, 2014 at 11:14 PM

            To anon below, I’m not miserable, and I can’t say I don’t know anything. But maybe you’re right that I’ll get depressed and no one will understand you. I’m OK with that.

          • Natalie April 1, 2014 at 11:19 PM

            And when guilt doesn’t work…name-calling and minimizing the dissenter is the new game plan, apparently.

            I guess the truly depressed (apparently something I’ve never experienced) want full support to wallow in their misery instead of seeing a new point of view. We already knew that.

          • Shamuel March 25, 2014 at 3:04 PM

            Wow. I have a lot to say about you laguerta. First of keep this argument kind. Don’t blame or insult others, but just express your opinion. I’m going to do that right now. I think that it is not your fault that something happened that makes you sad. It is cruel to call people suffering with sadness the cause and to make them feel guilty by blaming them. Life happens and it is how everyone deals with it. It sounds like those who think sadness is selfish hasn’t experienced sadness first hand or just doesn’t understand what it means. Don’t go making opinions about other people without knowing yourself. This is just my opinion after all and anyone can agree or disagree with me as they choose. But please don’t be cruel and insult and blame others.

          • Shannon March 28, 2014 at 7:44 PM

            I would much rather be someone who goes through depressive phases, than be a hateful, angry creature like you. Yes, sometimes I am depressed- but I don’t think I’m a horrible human being because of it. If you are going to go on a rant on ungrateful people who don’t contribute to society, why are you sitting on a computer pointlessly arguing about a topic that will never be resolved? Why don’t you go do some good in the world like helping feed starving children in poverty stricken countries, or provide clean water sources for those communities. Doesn’t the thought of them and the thought of you living so lavishly make you look pathetic and demented as well? Perspective, my friend. You know nothing of the minds of others, as I know nothing of yours. You have never experienced anything outside of your own consciousness. Whatever has influenced you in your life and helped create these ideals has not done so to the rest of ours. We all see and understand and perceive things differently.

          • olivia April 5, 2014 at 3:30 AM

            Having suffered from both cancer and depression at 16, I can tell you that depression is a shit load harder to both deal with and overcome. Yes people with terminal cancer don’t overcome their illness, but many do become depressed because of this. Please don’t be so ignorant.

          • Cheryl April 5, 2014 at 9:59 AM

            Ok, this is so ridiculous. Depression is not about will power. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. When you feel certain feelings and believe certain things it is your brain releasing chemicals. Your hormones alone rule a great deal of how you feel. That is why people can get in an accident, have brain trauma and have a whole portion of their personality change. If you feel like you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps, then by all means go ahead but, be grateful that you have the balance of health to do so. DO NOT put another down for not being able to. THAT IS SELFISH. It is a medical situation. Not willpower. This musing over how we feel people should act cause “in our experience” they’ve exhausted our good graces, is ridiculous. You can tell a schizophrenic to stop hearing voices but, it’s just not gonna happen. EVEN if it bothers your precious senses. Clinically depressed people need medical help. What they don’t need is people like you making it even harder. I would say your anger and lack of compassion is more of an issue.

          • Johnathan Murphy April 7, 2014 at 6:52 AM

            Juan Laguerta you are stupid. You are also using caps lock like a 5 year old and cussing like a 12 year old. BTW your “cussing, negative opinion” is not wanted I didnt even finish reading your comment you stupid person. Go caps lock on a video game and cuss and the teens because your brain is obviously on the same track as a stupid teen.

          • Mike Wade April 11, 2014 at 4:50 AM

            Juan. I feel for you. People are being pretty hard on you even though someone close to you obviously committed suicide. I have always had a great life and I am a dick and I am bipolar. I like this article because it started a discussion. If you want someone to talk to I will send you my twitter ID.

            I wish there was more conversation and less stigma about mental illness. With education I may have recognized symptoms and could have been able to take this articles advice to prevent a depression.

            My grandma had cancer and the family talked about it and supported her and I had never seen her happier… Probably because she was sckitzophrink. Think it’s hard to spell, it is harder to understand. I didn’t want to talk to her because I she was usually laying on the couch. My dad is diagnosed bipolar but has the stigma and won’t take medication. (Wish he would). I didn’t hear about their diagnosis until I had a manic episode.

            I have been clean and sober of any events for 6 years. I take very little medication with the goal of getting off completely.

            All I know is nobody knows what is happening with bipolar.

            It’s think it’s like being gay because it is not a choice. Juan, you can have your opinions from what you have read and experience. You might be the one person who has the right answer (probably not).

            Let’s keep talking about it and use all the science available to us to better understand.

            If you want to twit about it my comments won’t be able to be this long.

          • Peri July 4, 2014 at 6:12 AM

            You mean schizophrenic? xD

          • Julia April 20, 2014 at 10:42 AM

            By your logic, people who suffer from depression do not have the right to be depressed because other people have it worse. Does this mean if I know other people have a better life then me (they found love, they have a better functioning family) does this take away my rights to be happy?

            And to adress the point of your paper. I understand why you feel like people who suffer from depression should just get “over it”, however I think that you are not acknowledging that depression is not just feeling sad.
            It takes a mental and physical hold on you. I would like you to take 5 minutes (since you claim to be so open-minded) to read the article to which I will provide the link to at the bottom. It is published by Harvard Health Publications, so you can trust what it says…
            A depressed person will not “act on every impulse” and completely lack will power. When depressed, a person will have good moments, and moments when they feel like they should stop fighting the bad thoughts. When we say “depression is a constant fight” we mean the constant struggle to fight the “own bullsh*t”. When not having been happy for several weeks/months/years, people often stop fighting, as it is exhausting on the mind. Try to go through an entire day having to completely change the way you see things. Then keep this new way to view things for several days, then weeks until you believe it. Or maybe try to “make yourself” feel pride and happiness when you loose in a competition. It’s not easy. I do not want to compare depression to cancer, as both are terrible illnesses and take too many lives, but they are just too different. they are completely different illnesses, and it’s like comparing your mind to your heart. Both vital organs, but they function completely different. Depression takes a hold on people for years, and it takes away so many things in their lives. Just because there are no physical symptoms, it does not mean that it is not a serious issue.
            Also, I would like to point out to you that even though I understand your point of view, I find the way that you are trying to prove your point across is very disrespectful, rude and offensive. Telling people who are already at a very high risk of self harm to “jump off a bridge, because (they are) pricks” shows an unbelievable amount of lack of responsibility.
            I believe that depression forms somewhere along the lines of society and how we treat people within society. People who are already mis-treated by family, friends or people within their environment are already feeling bad enough about themselves. When they read such things as you have written in this article, it destroys them to have a complete stranger hate them.
            mental disorders are such a serious concern, because they often have no physical symptoms and are so easy to hide. When people who suffer from un-diagnosed depression will read this, they will not go to seek help. They will think that it’s all their fault and essentially, that is exactly what depression is. It is taking the fault for everything upon yourself, even if you rationally know, it’s not your fault.
            Depression is not what you see in Hollywood movies. It is not having a lot of friends around you to help you through it. It is not to be discovered just as you’re about to commit suicide. It is not magically finding that one person who will cause you to stop self harming.
            Depression is ugly. It is the constant feeling of being disappointed in yourself. It is the constant isolation. It is the constant pain. The casual relieve from pain by feeling completely empty. It is how scared one gets when they want to self harm. It is how scared one gets when they don’t feel anything. It is the constant staying up at night, being scared of the next day. How scary it is when depression causes eating disorders. It is how anxious one gets when they have to go outside. It is how challenging daily tasks get. It is the constant exhaustion.
            Depression is nothing that people would want to have. If all one had to do to cure depression was to think of something happy, it wouldn’t be a serious issue.
            You should look into some other abnormal-psychology topics. I’m curious on your opinion on other mood disorders.

            Here is the article I said I would attach
            I hope you take some of these things into consideration, and reply to me how you feel about what I said without cursing at me or comparing depression to other sicknesses.

          • Juan Laguerta April 21, 2014 at 7:15 AM

            I appreciate your effort to be calm and objective so I’ll try to match it.
            Everything in the article is basic psychology. It could have been written by a first year psychology student. With that in mind, another fact that first year psych students know is that psychologist still don’t know which is cause and which is effect. They still can’t say for sure if the neurotransmitters and chemicals cause depression or if depression causes the neurotransmitters to adapt and act the way they do. A lot of things can be measured and quantified using instruments and science but that doesn’t mean that they’re real. When you lie, a lie detector detects that you’re lying, but that doesn’t mean a lie is a real thing. A lie is an abstract concept that we created and the lie detector can only detect that you are nervous because YOU know you’re lying. There’s no hard scientific ground for either side of the depression argument so people with depression can still pretend that it’s out of their hands and people like me can still claim that it is not.
            I still think I’m right because I’ve seen what a human can do with pure will power and overcoming negative thoughts is nothing in comparison. Being human IS the constant struggle and change. You have to always try and better yourself and always be on the lookout for the flaws that you’ve got and it never ends because no one is perfect and no one can ever be.
            If people spend years fighting depression with no result then that means that they’re just not fighting hard enough or their brain is broken at this point which means they need to be drugged up big time and the former is FAR more likely than the latter.

          • lisa April 28, 2014 at 11:59 AM

            go suck it…and die

          • sara April 28, 2014 at 12:22 PM

            you are an absolute mental case Juan- how about using some of that “power of the mind” garbage to cure your ranting and raving. sometimes things are terminal- no matter how much sunshine someone shoots up their ass they cant be saved- period. it must be frightening to you to think you have no control over something and that is exactly what you are relaying so translucently in your raving caps all message- you are scared of being out of control this is GLARINGLY obvious. you have a problem- get some help.

          • Juan Laguerta April 28, 2014 at 1:26 PM

            Way off the mark, Sara. It would be really fucking easy to sway anyway the wind blows. It’s how kids work. I don’t have a pathological need for control; a life without control is an easy life, a life where everyone makes your choices for you and you don’t govern your own damn emotions and cognition. But I recognize that as a human it falls under my responsibility to take control of at least what lies WITHIN MY OWN GODDAMN HEAD. Don’t give me stuff about depression being out of your power or chemicals or fucking satan coming down and taking a malicious dump in your cerebral cortex I don’t care I’m just letting you know I don’t desire control because I lack it; I only recognize self-control as an attribute of BEING HUMAN and also recognize that I should take care to enforce it the same way I take care to throw out my garbage every once in a while because logic dictates that if I don’t, it’ll pile up.

            AND HEY
            “Only SOME of the things are going according to plan and not EVERYBODY likes me and that’s not how I would have things go so I guess I should kill myself.”
            K, SARA?

          • Meg April 29, 2014 at 7:10 AM

            Someone is a little angry. Watch out, anger and depression can go hand in hand, neither is good, both dangerous…

          • leni May 7, 2014 at 4:34 AM

            Did you really just say to jump off a balcony? That’s an assistance in suicide. You’ve got to be fucking stupid. If i go kill myself because you told me to, that’s my blood on your hands. How would that make you feel? Knowing you were involved in my suicide? I hope that makes you feel like complete shit. Go to hell.

          • Juan Laguerta May 7, 2014 at 5:03 PM

            If your life means nothing to you why should it mean anything to me
            That’s not my stance on the matter because every life actually matters but it’s still a valid argument

          • Toma May 7, 2014 at 5:10 PM

            On this one I must disagree. How important we consider our life to be is a subjective assessment. We need to strive for truth and objectivity. Objectively, no matter what we think, our life is more valuable than any of God’s non-spiritual creations. As we must seek to emulate truth and the nature that Jesus showed us, your life means the world to me, no matter what it means to you, and so mine must mean the world to you. This is love.

          • Juan Laguerta May 8, 2014 at 12:54 PM

            All life is valuable, yes
            Objectively, even an inanimate object has value so a LIFE should be worth infinitely more
            I was goin for a little reverse psychology

          • Artemis June 27, 2014 at 5:46 AM

            If you go kill yourself because someone told you to, you’re responsible.

            Someone else can only hurt you emotionally if you allow them to. If you hear Juan’s words and the insecure voice in your head reinforces what he’s said, your emotional hurt is your fault. You acted on what you believed to be true.

            If you practiced teaching the voice in your head to be strong, to be confident, your reaction to Juan’s insult would be to immediately disagree, because within your frame of mind, he’d be wrong. And then you probably wouldn’t go kill yourself.

            Our choices are just that. Ours.

          • Courtney May 8, 2014 at 10:43 AM

            Just saying not every is depressed because of themselves and their own problems. I am depressed because of my friends and i see there problems and there is nothing i can do to help tem. I see there problems and i get stressed out because i dont know what to tell them and im scared they are going to get hurt and dont just say that its because i stress too much because i know thats why but i dont know how to stop stressing so thats why i am depressed not because the only thing i think about is myself and because i am a selfish asshole. And just saying, i dont have an expensve balcony to jump off of.

          • Juan Laguerta May 8, 2014 at 12:50 PM

            I didn’t particularly advocate the notion that depression is selfish; It often is but all I’m saying is that depression is your fault, not anybody else’s. You for example get to pretend like it’s a result of your selflessness, when in reality all it is is that you’re too far up your own ass. You think you can control everybody. You need to get over yourself just as every other depression “victim” needs to get over themselves. And really, if you think about it, no one who is actually selfless could ever be diagnosed with depression because they wouldn’t even pay enough attention to themselves to harbor negativity, let alone notice that they have depression and consider self harm. You imitating the stress of your friends is just another way for you to feed your addiction for demented thoughts that your twisted brain has gown accustomed to.

          • Minnie Jones May 20, 2014 at 5:30 AM

            and some people just die of cancer and they have not done anything for it . It just happens. really helpful shit you are giving here: why don’t you bloody jump of your expensive balcony… one jerk less left.

          • Natalie May 20, 2014 at 9:17 AM

            I don’t understand the comparison. About the only thing these diseases have in common are that they hurt those affected by it as well as their family and friends, and the causes are not well understood.

            For both, there are strategies to minimize effects of the disease.

          • ed May 29, 2014 at 6:35 PM

            Are you fucking serious you, ignorance, judgmental spawn of Satan. Your not worth going any further. X

          • Anonymous May 29, 2014 at 8:48 PM

            You all clearly know nothing about depression. It’s a frickin mental illness. I hope all you pathetic idiots who say depression doesn’t exist end up with it one day. It’s frickin awful. Try crying everyday for no apparent reason. Try feeling so worthless and tired you cant even get out of bed. Try not being able to concentrate for more than a minute because you are so overwhelmed by your depressed thoughts. Try losing your ability to enjoy things. Try feeling so hopeless and sad and hating yourself so much to the point you start to hurt yourself and want to kill yourself. People DIE because of depression. People end up in HOSPITAL because of depression. How can you say depression doesn’t exist? Are you that dumb, pathetic and heartless? If your child started showing symptoms of depression, would you dismiss them as “selfishness”? Would you wait until your chid was holding a gun to their head until you woke up to yourself and realised that maybe they needed help? Depression is a misunderstood topic, because very few understand the human brain and very few ever will. Depression is real whether you want to accept it or not. Oh, and “Juan Laguerta” I hope you get depression and I hope it makes you want to jump off a bridge. Maybe then you’ll realise what its like for those who live with depression.

          • Natalie May 30, 2014 at 5:11 AM

            In my opinion, it’s statements like yours that give depression a bad name. It’s a condition that’s fabricated, and I don’t maw that as an insult..but think about it. You are probably taking some other personality traits that coexist with your depression and assigning those personality or mood characteristics to depression, which probably isn’t to blame for the way you’re thinking/feeling, or at least as much as you think.

            You’re free to dismiss that. I’m not trying to minimize or devalue anyone’s, including my own, mental state.

            But if you can get past feeling personal injury, it does make sense how fabricated depression has become. It’s like Wikipedia of the brain. It is blamed for far too much in a sometimes indiscriminate manner…that’s a reason anyone has to defend their condition, whereas cancer patients do not.

          • Chris July 15, 2014 at 8:04 AM

            Trying to convince someone of how terrible depression is, and then wishing it upon the same person, is probably not the way to get them to listen to you.

            Having said that, there has been a study (by psychiatrist Gerald Klerman and psychologist Myrna Weissman and pushblished in the ‘Journal of American Medical Association’) that in industrialized countries rates of depression increased at an alarming rate after World War II, while in countries less fortunate, they remained stable.

            There is, a clear relationship between industrialization and depression, though it’s probably not industrialization itself. People saying that those in poor countries are less depressed are correct, but the depression in wealthy countries should not be taken lightly. There is reason to suspect that, as poor countries become industrialized, they will take the same road to depression.

            The conclusion of this and several other studies was that people in poor countries have a much stronger emotional support system, meaning that the adversity these people experience brings them closer together.

            Now you only need to look at the article and some the comments here, at some of the blame and lack of empathy, and it’s not really difficult to see why depression is problematic in the first place. The sense of loneliness that depression brings is crippling – that’s one of its biggest problems, and it wouldn’t surprise me (though I have no proof) if that is the leading reason for depressed people committing suicide. You can’t always do it alone.

            As a simple conclusion, I think that those people who tend to be positive thinkers either have a better social/emotional support system in their lives, or they have better learned to regulate their emotions. I agree that emotional regulation can be learned by those who did not learn this in childhood, but it is a slow and difficult process, and probably something they are going to need help with.

            A little bit of patience and understanding goes a long way, is all I’m saying.

          • Joseph Stalin June 21, 2014 at 1:11 PM

            Maybe instead of being an ignorant fucking idiot, why don’t you do some little research instead of going on some shitty crank site. Are you a doctor, therapist, psychologist, no you are fucking not. There is overwhelming evidence showing that free will is all an illusion, and is all in your head. You are not some special creation, you are an advanced computer, an advanced machine. Read Paradise Lost. The environment plays a tremendous role in how you turn out. Neurologists, physicists and many other scientists are agreeing that free will is not real, and is an illusion. So is willpower, it’s all in your head.

            If free will really existed, people would overcome alcohol addictions, smoking addictions, any drug addiction, depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc… (I think I’ll just stop smoking today!) Just like that! But oh wait, they DON’T!

            They need help, just like a depressed person. A depressed person lacks the pleasure and happiness hormones, like dopamine and seretonin. Just like someone with a drug addiction has problems with their brain. Man, depression really is like explaining color to a blind person. Just like I am explaining a mental disorder to a dumb ignorant person who is about as smart as a bag of hammers..

            You are probably some sheltered rich girl, who lives in her little bubble, full of sunshine and rainbows, and doesn’t know how the world works. But hey, you never had any credibility in the first place, you type in all caps and behave like you have just consumed 10 cups of espresso, and you have the grammar, and mentality of a dumb sheltered kid who has just found the internet a few days ago. I’M LOUDER SO I’M RIGHT! Sorry, doesn’t work that way Sweetheart. The only pathetic and demented one here, is you. Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

            Though you will probably spew more rubbish out of your filthy sewer again and again once you read this. Like they always do. But I don’t care. Can’t reason with this much dumb, and ignorance.

            To all who agree with the OP, you should all be greatly ashamed of yourselves, you are all some of the most ignorant buffoons I have ever encountered. It boggles my mind how air headed you are. Do some actual research, probably won’t do that either. Oh well, bye, Komrades!

          • Juan Laguerta June 21, 2014 at 3:02 PM

            Yeah ok so free will is a creation of human imagination but depression and addictions are 100% percent real and completely out of the control of all subjects “afflicted” by them.
            Do you hear yourself?
            Doesn’t it get tiring trying to rationalize all your bulshit?
            I’m not some sheltered girl
            I’m an adult male
            And what, YOU’RE the neuropsych expert? Do you even know what you’re talking about
            You’re just shitting out words like dopamine and serotonin but you have no idea what they mean because the goddamn scientists don’t even know what they mean
            It’s just speculation
            There’s not even concrete research showing if depression causes the neurotransmitters to fire or if it’s vise versa
            Do you know what scientists do
            Here is science:
            “hey look rain falls when it’s cloudy let’s make a research paper about it”
            But why does it really fall tho
            “Idk but look everytime it trains it’s cloudy they are associated”

            Just because you know a chemical associated with a condition doesn’t mean ANYTHING,
            HELP by definition is something you give to someone who can’t handle their own shit
            And even then no matter how much help you give it doesn’t mean jack shit unless the person wants to change because that’s what matters WHAT YOU WANT
            Even if free will is just a profound and complex algorithm that still means it’s stronger and more complex than something as shallow and conjured up as depression or addiction.
            Of course a depressed person is gonna lack the fucking happiness hormones because they’re not fucking happy
            Oh this dead person lacks life that’s why they’re dead
            No, they’re dead because some motherfucker stabbed them you anus
            You think happiness just grows on trees?
            Do you just expect to be happy by default?
            It’s not a fucking right
            If you don’t want to be happy you’re not gonna be happy
            If you Truly want to be happy you will be happy

            It’s not I’m louder so im right
            I am right hence I get to be louder
            Im 2 old 4 dis shit

          • Toma June 21, 2014 at 4:35 PM

            If free will doesn’t exist, then I had no choice in writing this article, and you all had no choice in agreeing or disagreeing with it. This also means we should free every prisoner, for without free will no laws have been broken (mens-rea). Those of you who are depressed because you have been abused should also forgive your abusers, for they had no choice. But then again, you will have no choice in whether you forgive them or not, as you have no free will.

            This sort of quantum-driven philosophy exemplifies the mindlessness of people. If you knew yourself at all you would know it not to be true. The physicists who devise it are, not unlike Freud and his predecessors, looking for recognition through innovation. They don’t care about truth, and they certainly don’t care about you.

          • Natalie June 21, 2014 at 11:57 PM

            By your logic if free will doesn’t exist there’s no reason to do anything but practice acceptance.

          • anon June 25, 2014 at 3:50 PM

            youre the whiner. you have to write a 15 page article condemning others for a real documented illness. youre the one who sounds like a jerk here and a selfish depressed person who only thinks of himself.And youre most inhuman.

          • guest July 2, 2014 at 7:55 PM

            Wow you really have everything figured out! Well now with all your WISDOM please tell us why It is you are the one so negative, so angry? I read this blog with an open mind. I took something positive from it even though I would be considered one of the selfish ones. Until I scrolled down and seen your comments. Well that’s ok we are all entitled to our own opinions. My opinion of your hate filled rant is more to do with yourself maybe just Maybe you should take a look in the mirror before you unleash all your WISDOM onto others. Stop judging we all go through things in life. Then something can come your way and it stops you cold in your tracks life gets turned inside out and you have to learn how to live with your new normal and you do you learn to cope with what’s happened but it can take some time. That’s where insight comes in we have to look into oneself to get better! Some of it may be selfish and then you learn once again hey I’m learning to navigate this new normal and I am doing better today because insight helped me see how selfish I’ve been. Anyway insight you seem to have a lot of insight Oh shoot I meant to say you should have some well never mind I shouldn’t tell you what you need that would be so selfish of me.

          • Mamizou February 4, 2015 at 11:47 AM

            @Juan Laguerta

            First I’d like to say that people like you are embarrassing. I cringe just looking at what you’ve written. All caps? Swearing? Do you really believe people are going to take you seriously? Adults who have mentally matured past the age of 15 don’t communicate like this. If you have an opinion, whether it’s an ignorant one or not, please learn to express it in a less ridiculous way.

            Back on topic; I can see you clearly have very strong feelings regarding depression. I cannot understand why as you clearly have no real understanding of how depression works, and if you have no understanding, you have no right to an opinion. I have suffered painful stretches of depression and dysthymia throughout my adolescence and early adulthood so I know what it’s like. No one wants to be depressed. You seem to be confusing legitimately depressed people with attention seekers and “emo” high school kids. There’s a huge difference. Depressed people are just like anyone else. Unfortunately many people are not quite as good at handling the painful parts of life, which leads to skewed ways of thinking and ultimately depression. Over time people develop habits of bottling things up and judging oneself too harshly. Becoming depressed is a natural and inevitable result of an individual running out of ways to cope with pain. It becomes nearly impossible to “snap out of it” or find the motivation to change once you reach this point. Our brains are not functioning correctly. You cannot blame us for this. It’s an illness. Sure, our negative thinking habits helped create the imbalance in our brain chemistry, but tons of illnesses are caused by our actions. Lung cancer can come from the bad habit of smoking, Ebola can be contracted by traveling through West Africa, a leg can be broken due to carelessness. All these things were preventable and completely the victim’s fault. Do you blame them for it? Maybe, if you completely lack empathy and a heart. However most people would want to help the smoker or the traveler or the klutz. They can learn from their past mistakes and change their life around now that they have had a scary experience. Depression is exactly the same. We went down the wrong path and are now searching for a way to get back. And unlike your example of cancer (“THEY PHYSICALLY TOLD THEIR BODIES TO NOT BE SICK AND THEIR BODIES COMPLIED BECAUSE OF THEIR WILL POWER”) our mental illness prevents us from finding such strong willpower. We need others there in our lives who are supportive and understanding. This is the strongest cure for depression. (By the way, no matter how much willpower a cancer patient may have, they still need external help in some way. I personally have always been a very strong person, but when depression hit me I was lost, until I sought help that is).

            Contrary to what you are claiming here, most depressed people don’t “whine”. They don’t talk about their truest real problems, and there is a very simple reason for this; it’s because of people like you. The negative stereotypes about depression, like needing attention and being selfish, terrify us into silence and bottled up rage. Although I myself am no longer depressed, reading your comment brings back feelings of hopelessness and frustration. Not because you have a point (you don’t), but because it’s painful knowing there’s people like you out there who think this way… People who judge others for having an illness or showing emotion… People who gladly embrace ignorance and cruelty rather than intelligence and empathy. No matter how irrational your hateful ideas are, they can severely hurt a depressed person. We cannot handle such harsh criticism when our mental state is already fragile. I do not look down on the smoker who has a hole in his throat despite knowing that the smoker made himself that way. Instead, I feel sorry for him and want to help him back onto the right path. Clearly the smoker doesn’t want that hole in his throat and he regrets what happened. Humans are weak and we need to fight together to overcome these problems, not judge and ridicule our flawed comrades.

            I realize you may have experienced something which caused you to have this negative outlook, but unless you change this outlook, don’t expect anyone to care about you when you need help most. Part of being mature and intelligent is understanding other people and learning to be compassionate. You accuse depressed people of “thinking like a retard” and “being a prick because they chose to kill themselves.” But who’s really the prick here? The person who has a weakness and needs help? Or the person who completely lacks empathy and refuses to see things from someone else’s point of view?

            I sincerely hope no one suffering depression had to read your comment, and to any have have, I apologize to you for this person. Despite that people like this exist, there are plenty of compassionate individuals out there who understand your pain and genuinely want to help you. I also apologize for this article which belittles your illness to nothing more than a figment of your imagination. It’s just as real as cancer so seek help, find those who are there for you and are mature enough not to judge. It can only get better once you start doing these things, as it did for me. Good luck to you all!

          • Maggie February 13, 2015 at 6:40 PM

            Your a sick motherfucker! I hope someday your riddled with cancer and depressed, then you can see just how well it works to “will it away”. I’ never thought I would wish that on anyone…but you deserve it you selfish bastard!

          • Maggie February 13, 2015 at 6:48 PM

            I’m sorry, the above reply is meant for Juan! I’m surprised I he the guts to write ,y post, but sometimes ya just gotta say it!

          • Natalie February 15, 2015 at 3:28 AM

            You must think you’re God! Dang!

          • Laura January 22, 2014 at 5:22 AM

            Thank you Bill this is very ignorant as a neuroscience major with a specialty in mood disorders, it is clear that this girl does not understand what real depression is, and is more following the ignorant stigma created by media. I sense that she probably has someone in her life that she cares a lot about that has depression and shes just lashing out because depression is hard to deal with when caring for love ones. I could go into all the neuro-chemical reactions that occur in the brain in major depressive disorder, however she will not understand that terminology or any of the science of it because she clearly is not educated in this field, and she needs to do her research before shes states such a powerful opinion because she only looks ignorant and foolish with absolutely no validity in her statements.

          • Ferris Wheeller January 22, 2014 at 5:27 PM

            It doesnt take a fucking a neurosciemce major to figure out thaf yiu dont use your brain then your iq drops and int the same way if u dedicade your brain to sulking in your piss and tears it will comply

          • Kris Bundy (@blafls) February 10, 2014 at 5:22 PM

            It takes a neuroscience major to find out why. And no, your brain is nothing like a muscle. If you don’t eat for a few days, you don’t need to eat certain foods to reactivate your digestive system. Thanks for the depression stigma though, it’s great to know that there are still people out there making depression seem like less of a big deal. People really need encouragement when they think that their lives mean nothing. Please be a troll. My faith in humanity kind of depends upon it.

          • Estaban Haroon February 10, 2014 at 9:03 PM

            The brain is adaptive, that is a scientific fact. If all you wallow in your own piss you’ll get piss stains all over your psyche. Depression isn’t your brain responding to the world, it’s your brain responding to your own shitty thoughts.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:45 AM

            So everyone is supposed to understand you? How selfish can you be? Jeez

          • Sam April 7, 2014 at 12:53 AM

            Natalie – What is your problem? You’ve done nothing but respond negatively to countless posts on here whenever somebody makes a comment that indicates they believe depression is a lot more complicated than this ridiculous article and many of the posters on here seem to think it is. Your immature, snarky comments don’t contribute anything substantial to the discussion. And you have the nerve to ask somebody else how selfish can they be. Why don’t you ask yourself that same question? How selfish can YOU be to constantly post the same ignorance over and over again in response to various different people just because you don’t agree with their point of view? You seem to think that your point of view is important enough to be posted ad nauseam, but you belittle anybody whose view you don’t agree with. Get over yourself!

          • Natalie April 7, 2014 at 11:33 PM

            Maybe the thread structure doesn’t reflect this accurately, but the only thing I’ve called selfish is name-calling anyone who doesn’t offer a pat on the back and sympathetic agreement. I did not name-call and don’t intend to insult.

            I maintain that it’s selfish to call me insecure and snarky because I don’t agree with you. I can’t influence how you react.

          • Natalie April 7, 2014 at 11:48 PM

            And let’s not call this a discussion…when any opposing views can’t be tolerated.

            This thread is interesting to me. I wonder where the voices of the depressed who aren’t aggressively seeking validation are. Is this the only face of depression? From some of the comments, I do see that there are some voices from individuals who are depressed but who aren’t engulfed in anger, defensiveness. Not all try to control what exists in others’ minds and what comes out of their mouths.

            In my opinion (and that’s all it is, so feel free to not take it personally), your attempts at belittling my opinion (and me) are a result of your own hypersensitivity.

            Sometimes I am immature and insecure – I don’t see how this has to do with qualifying or disqualifying me to voice my opinion. Let me guess by your example – do I have to be seething anger and need for validation to have your approval to post?

            That may be a personality trait, unrelated with depression. This thread is overtaken with similar comments.

          • Jonathan Gray April 12, 2014 at 10:30 PM

            You are calling other people selfish. You are on the internet, behaving like a spoilt child, because it gives you pleasure, actively causing others to become upset, and you call others selfish?

            You are a very unpleasant individual. This is evident to anyone from your posts.

            You don’t have an ‘opposing view’. You are denigrating and abusing the subjective experiences of others, because it fills the hole in your soul.

            Why are you here? What makes you think behaving in this manner is acceptable? It isn’t. Go away, idiotic child.

          • Natalie April 13, 2014 at 10:28 AM

            Sad it had to come to this same place.

          • Sidney April 17, 2014 at 11:10 AM

            You’re such a Bitch!!! You are telling me a 14 year old that I am selfish!!! Because I chose to be mentally abused by my soccer coach. I chose to ask myself when I was 4 why no one loved me. I chose for my so called friends to reject me and call me names. I chose to hate myself. My so called teammates called me the team punching bag, because you know I chose that. My mom just like you told me to stop pitying myself, to try harder. When everyday I tried my best. I keep telling myself I am being selfish and that I’m not good enough. I can’t look anyone in the eyes not even my family, because I felt like they would be able to see my pain and I don’t want to “burden them”. I have yet to tell anyone that I have depression because I don’t want to be selfish. But do you know what that does? It eats at me. This little voice in my head keeps telling me that I’m worthless, that no one cares about me, that I am ugly, that I am selfish, and it tells me to give up. I chose to feel that. I tell myself that I shouldn’t feel this when they’re are people out their getting abused, people who are starving. So I see why you may think that I am selfish. But if you don’t have depression where it’s constantly telling you that you’re worthless and that you should just give up, then you just shut the fuck up unless you have a MD degree and have learned about this disease. You clearly don’t know what your talking about if you’re telling me a 14 year old that I am selfish because I apparently “chose” to have depression. Grow the fuck up. I feel bad for you tho. Because either you have gone through something that cause you to become such a Stuck Up Princess who doesn’t know the actually FACTS, or how dealing with depression really feels. Or you could just have been a born decedent of the devil. Either way I hope someday you will grow up and open your mind to the idea of how some things aren’t always how they appear. Because I put a fake smile on everyday and force a laugh that makes me happy and I couldn’t possible have depression. Or how a psycho could look completely normal at first until he starts a massacre. Soooo… Overall I want to thank you for your point of view and I see were you come from. I just hope that you can see were mine comes from. But if you don’t thats fine. :)

          • Peter April 27, 2014 at 8:15 AM

            Actually, your brain is kind of like a form of muscle in many ways.
            For example, why do you think people say that exercising your brain can prevent Alzheimer’s Disease?
            Because you train it, and keep in in shape.
            Also, your own attitude to things will dramatically affect how you experience things.
            Surely you have heard of the Placebo Effect?
            This is actually a phenomenon that even doctors have noticed, and it can have an incredible effect on both your physical body and your well-being.

            I don’t like how depressed people are considered some kind of helpless victims who are “unable do anything on their own”.
            Yes, they are depressed, but a lot of people go through depression at least once during their lifetime, and depression gives you a twisted view of reality, and makes you believe all kinds of negative crap about yourself that isn’t true.
            I don’t care how convinced the depressed people on here are that their negative thoughts about themselves and their lives are “true”, they are not.
            Depression makes you think like that, and if those people can just realize that then they are one step closer to getting out of the depression.

          • RJ April 30, 2014 at 12:30 AM

            My comment is mainly addressed to Sidney. Sorry about the way things are going for you. I more than understand as much as it is possible for one person to relate to walking a mile in another person’s shoes so to speak. I spent so much time in my life in similar situations and circumstances with a side order of physical violence added to the mix that at the same age of four I made up my mind . . . thank God I was not like ‘them’ and I knew I never wanted to be one of ‘them’. I also decided that no mater what, they would not break me. Your mere existence pisses ‘them’ off just think how your cocky survival is going to twist their underwear into a
            proverbial bundle. I was convinced that every slight, abuse, name calling, punch, ridicule, put down just served to make me stronger, more determined, and thankful that I was different esp from ‘them’. It took a few more years to deal with the anger because at times anger was the only thing keeping me alive. One day it dawned on me that anger was making me into one of ‘them’ and that was exactly what their intention was all along. To attack, snatch and grab at any difference and goodness they saw in others until they destroyed it thereby adding one more miserable person to their rank an file. Hell no they do not get to change me! Hell no! Because I am different only makes me different. I do not measure myself or my life by their yard stick. I did not choose this but how I choose to handle it, react ,and what kind of person I become because of it those things are my responsibility. Just like I did you will make your own way . . . one way or the other. I wish you nothing but the best in life.

          • joe April 28, 2014 at 6:25 AM

            nice one bill

          • Beth Mastrodonato June 14, 2014 at 10:45 AM

            totally agree Bill

          • Steve Jobbs June 10, 2014 at 7:19 AM

            “Don’t criticize what you can’t understand,” – The Times Are Changing – Bob Dylan.

          • Toma June 10, 2014 at 7:44 AM

            Does this apply to those who don’t understand my writing??

          • dewall December 8, 2013 at 12:58 PM

            Very well stated

          • terry101man December 10, 2013 at 9:51 AM

            Your story sounds identical to my Step-Doughters, I’m very concerned about her and could realy use some advise from some one who has been through it 1st hand. Could we please communicate by email or private message on facebook. I realy am woryed about her.

          • Washington Irving January 2, 2014 at 4:59 PM

            Learn to spell. It will make everything better.

          • elli adkins February 14, 2014 at 5:06 AM

            I have “had” depression. I was prescribed medication and everything. And even i can say it is something of the mind. Its the placebo affect. You think you are depressed. You say you could not control your depression, therefore you are bringing it upon yourself. Look up details about the placebo affect. You may just save yourself from your “depression.”
            Oh, and you should not go accusing others of “not knowing because they did not experience it firsthand”, it is an ignorant thing to do. The writer was writing simply to educate, not to offend you.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 7:46 AM

            Thanks, elli. I’m amazed there are so many one-sided validation seekers around. No wonder there’s no such thing as tolerance.

          • Nor March 19, 2014 at 2:19 AM

            Couldn’t have put it better myself.

          • impossiblegirl April 1, 2014 at 4:48 PM

            I’m glad that you had a minor depression that could be ‘cured’ by positive thoughts or whatever. Good for you. There IS a difference, though, between a minor depression and a depressive disorder.

            I have Major Depressive Disorder. Something I didn’t even think I had until my parents forced me to go to a psychologist. I have since been on eight different types of medication and to five different therapists. Nothing works. I can be fine for months or years and then suddenly fall into depression again, sometimes with no reason.

            Yet I still go about my life, I still function. I am studying at university, I want a good job that will help people, I refuse to take disability consideration as I consider it cheating (for me, there are many others who have it worse than me).

            I could go into the myriad things that trigger my periods of depression – PTSD from sexual assault being the major one. But there are also many reasons in my life to be happy. I have a wonderful family that I wouldn’t trade for anything (despite the genetic anxiety my mother passed on to me, haha) and wonderful friends. I am privileged enough to go to university, and to live in Australia, and I am a kind and caring person. I just happen to have days where I can’t get out of bed, and sometimes those days can go on for weeks or months.

            Because the synapses in my brain that pass serotonin through are broken. They don’t work properly. They stop working altogether occasionally, for no real reason – and it’s physically impossible to think happy thoughts (or at least believe them) when you have no serotonin in your brain.

            I spend most of this time, not thinking about how depressed I am, but how guilty I feel about being depressed when there’s no reason to be, when I have a lovely life. About how much of a burden I am on other people when I am like that. Trust me, you don’t need to tell a person with depression that they are selfish or a burden – they already know. Or believe it.

            Anyway, what annoys me is that no one commenting on this post agreeing with the OP has actually HAD a depressive disorder. When I can’t get out of bed, it’s not laziness or just me being too sad to go about my day – your brain literally attacks your whole body and makes you sick. It’s a very physical inability to get up. And it’s not caused by negative thoughts, as you all claim – it can happen overnight, from having a perfectly normal happy day to not being able to function the next.

            I used to wallow. I used to feel sorry for myself. Now I just live with it and tackle the bad days when they come, and a lot of people I know don’t even know I have depression. But what made me comment today is that people still share stereotypes of depression, and try to undermine real scientific study of the condition – while actively trying to make someone who already hates themself do so even more.

            It’s this kind of thinking that will next suggest that bipolar or psychosis are not ‘real illnesses’. Try taking someone with psychosis off their medication and telling them they can cure themselves with realistic thoughts.

            As for the saying, “we all have depression at some point” – that’s WRONG. NO. Everyone gets sad. Yes. A lot of people get minor depressions that can last months and be very debilitating, but they’re usually caused by some trigger (rape, death, loss of job, breakup, failing grades etc.) and can be overcome.

            Actual depressive disorders are with a person for life. They cannot be cured. They can be helped, they can be managed, and I hope most people with them have supportive people around for the times they are difficult (because there are times worse than others, and the best medicine is a loving friend), but many of those people will be on medication for life, and telling them they don’t deserve to be unhappy is a cruel and soulless thing to do.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 10:27 AM

            thank u for sharing all this but what when a person does have depression ! and no friends and several other serious personal problems! and no one there to support that person! it becomes even harder doesn’t it?

          • Natalie April 7, 2014 at 11:51 PM

            I don’t think you’re in a position to determine what kind of depression Elli had, or whether it was “major” or “minor.”

            The most likely possibility is you really don’t know, and people tell of their experience in different ways.

            In your case, you want your depression to be worse than someone else’s depression. You write about it like it is.

          • Haris Cooper April 9, 2014 at 2:01 AM

            Bloody hell, do you think every single damn story was for the sake of self-validation?

            Hopefully you don’t roll your eyes when someone is telling you something about themselves, as that’s just tragic.

            Oh and I was a pathetic fool in my younger years thinking me being sad was depression, that I felt sorry for myself and that it can’t be within my control but I dealt with it. But I never woke up sad for no reason, I never had pangs of sadness hit me despite there being no situation that would lead to those thoughts.

            As for her story? It was an insight in someone that has had depression, I believe it exists but for you to say she simply intends to one up another. Who are you to thrust upon her that she’s simply attention grabbing? The girl was describing a feeling neither you or me could contemplate, so stop being pathetic.

            Depression does exist, and it isn’t people ‘feeling sad’ it’s something a heck load more serious than that. Feeling sad and people being selfish about it is what you’re taking a dig at, not depression. If anything take shots at society for consistently confusing the two.

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:19 PM

            Hello Harris, i didn’t dismiss her story. Stories are informing. Read her opening statement:

            “I’m glad that you had a minor depression that could be ‘cured’ by positive thoughts or whatever. Good for you. There IS a difference, though, between a minor depression and a depressive disorder.”

            There is so much about this that isn’t about telling her story.

            I see minimizing another poster’s story and calling for a greater self pity by comparison.

            It is reality, not an insult meant to dismiss her or your experience.

          • Beth Mastrodonato June 14, 2014 at 10:53 AM

            YOU are a creep

          • Colin May 21, 2014 at 7:49 AM

            Yes. This person, who speaks not from experience but from looking at something from the outside, and passing judgment on it, on years of study and research, labored over by actual professionals, with years of education, in one breath. And, as is very typical of someone with sufficient ego to believe that he is qualified to make such judgments without any actual facts or proof or statistical data, or anything but mere conjecture, he is apt to pass such judgments on things he has never experienced himself and in fact is not even a little qualified to make. What he talks about is sadness and being down in the dumps, which is indeed the result of selfish or self-centrered thinking, and NOT real depression. What you describe is what real, clinical depression is like. I have battled it much of my life, and it was never because of circumstantial phenomena. Rather, it was more a crippling lack of energy and motivation, aches and pains and stiffness and muscle cramps – which were not aided by vitamin supplements, exercise, or the other usual treatments – frequent colds, and a feeling of hopelessness, which arose out of this inexplicable and baffling syndrome, which happened to me initially during my teenage years when my life was otherwise quite enjoyable and carefree. It is unfortunate that individuals like this man waste their time spreading ignorant, negative and hurtful or damaging misinformation while talking about “positive thinking.” Worse still, that there are so many people with insufficient education to recognize this man’s lack of expertise and incorrect information, who believe it without any fact-checking whatsoever. No wonder there is so much cruelty and senseless barbarism in the world today.

          • Toma May 21, 2014 at 8:46 AM

            The “so many people with insufficient education” you speak of do what you fail to do. They look within themselves for the truth.

            The cliché of ‘ignorance is bliss’ exists for a reason. Those with less mind are free from its trappings, and depression is one of them.

          • A Fellow Human Being October 20, 2013 at 11:52 PM

            Thank you. I am clinically depressed. It’s not something I can control with positive thinking or sheer will power. It’s a chemical deficiency in my brain. I am pro-logic and pro-science.

            I understand that for people who do not suffer from clinical depression it can seem like it’s something you can control, but that’s…just not the case.

            I am not being selfish. If there’s anyone to blame for my condition, it’s God because this is how he created me. My brain does not produce enough serotonin as people who are not clinically depressed. This is neither my fault or my responsibility to fix without help.

          • Christin November 7, 2013 at 9:23 AM

            It’s certainly not your fault, but your actions do have an effect on how well your brain deals with the inadequate levels of neurotransmitters. For example, 10 minutes bursts of exercise can help relieve symptoms temporarily, and help you manage reoccurring episodes. Despite the unsubstantiated nonsense purported by the author of this blog, you do have some power to help yourself get better. Sure, it’s hard, and it might be impossible to do alone, depending on the severity of your condition. But as someone who has been where you are, and like you, is pro-science and pro-logic, I can tell you, it can and does get better. With a lot of work, sure, but sometimes that work feels good, just to be making progress. Hang in there, and stop reading completely unscientific crap like this blog. This is a much better source of helpful info:
   I refer to it a lot, especially when I get triggered into another episode.

          • Wendy November 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM

            It does not get better for everyone. I lived so much of my life with pain and aggravation, till finally I went to see my doctor. I discovered what I wasn’t/was feeling was called “Major Depressive Disorder. I am far from selfish. I have always been a giving person. I always kept to myself. Never said a negative word to anyone. But after going thru treatment, I can function. But if I were to stop my meds, I would be thrown back into the lions den. You know you cannot see a heart attack, yet you have one. The author is one of those people who thinks the world is flat, because he can’t see beyond the horizon.

          • john December 6, 2013 at 2:13 AM

            and you think because there are zero actual studies providing evidence of depression being a chemical imbalance, that because your doctor told you its a metnal illness that you believe it. the meds dont cure depression, they are just mood altering drugs, go smoke pot i bet it has about the same effect. it really is in your head. just because you are a giving person doesn’t mean your not selfish. maybe it means you are just acting against your will to give to others so you look better in society, when in all reality all you want is to have everything for yourself. i have been “clinically depressed” and all the pills in the world didn’t help me at all. until i started living a better life and not thinking about what i want all the time, nothing changed.

          • newzbug December 6, 2013 at 11:41 AM

            Of course there is no cure. It is just treating the symptoms. I could have all the best and right answers John and still you will believe what you want to believe. My problem is that I cannot stop myself from giving in to my symptoms so I take meds. Yes it is real and I have the same you do. There is not a “cure”. I knew that a long time ago. Geeze if I really cared about what society thought of me, I wouldn’t have done all the things I have that “seem” to imply I am acceptable. I am glad you found help with changing your life. This is what works for me. It doesn’t matter what i say, you will think Toma is perfectly right and you are anti-med. All meds change you … either your body or your mind. At least I don’t tell people how horrible they are …

          • Mala January 26, 2014 at 1:08 PM

            Keeping to yourself is incredibly selfish. You were put on this earth to give of yourself. Same goes with not saying anything negative to people. Apathy and indifference stem from disinterest and self-centeredness.

            I myself have recently been “diagnosed,” (again. I spent most of my teens on Effexor) and I refused to accept their life-sentence. An attitude of gratitude goes a long way. I’m not cured by a long shot, but everyday I am stronger and more positive. You can do it! You just have to set your mind to it and deny the bullshit. No one is saying it’s easy. It took me 28 years to get to this point in my life, obviously it’s not going to be resolved overnight.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 10:51 AM

            the point here is mala …that while the person is trying to get over depression ….he IS trying and while that time he or she cannot be claimed as selfish! it took u 28 years … long time and someone if at that point of time just called u selfish would be completely wrong and yes u would have felt bad ! there are people too who after trying allot to get over such disorders can’t get over it…u again cannot call them selfish..they tried! and then there are people who go through this problem and try to get themselves back on the track but are week and every time they get a lil better…something bad happens and they get back to the same place! not everybody’s life is the same and not every person is strong enough and can handle life problems the same way as the other person does! not every persons life is good ! some have bad lives and some have worse and some even worse! no one person can tell the other person that he’s selfish until and unless he’s gone through the exact same problem as the other one ! i’m not calling anyone wrong here…obviously everyone is diff. and has diff. opinions about everything! all i’m asking for is to look at the problem with a little more sensitivity maybe? just like everyone has diff. opinions ..the same way every person is diff. and has a diff. life! if you’ve not been there all your life going through the exact same things/problems they have …u cannot make statements and call them selfish as u yourself don’t know how u would become/reacted to all that after going through everything that they’ve been through! sure u can say u would have been just fine and handled it and would have been completely normal and “NOT SELFISH” and stuff but u never really know until n unless you’ve been there!

          • Newzbug November 21, 2013 at 2:48 PM

            Christin, the thing most people don’t seem to get is one of the symptoms of MDD is that you have little or no energy to get yourself up to exercise or eat right. That is why a strong support system is so important. Quite often you have very little control over getting better. I have severe MDD. For me everything is a struggle. So I am forced to take my life moment by moment or day by day. YES, I have attempted suicide … if anythiing it is a selfless act. My family or friends refuse to be a part of my healing, so they become unimportant to me. And my attempts were to lessen their so called pain with me. My pain has been lifelong. Theirs isn’t really there for me, but for themselves.

          • Laura January 17, 2014 at 8:20 AM

            Ahhh thank you, someone that explained that depression can be cured without saying thats selfish. Really thank you.

          • Katie November 26, 2013 at 1:49 PM

            I am also clinically depressed and I am only a child. I am not selfish. I hurt myself so I wouldn’t hurt the people around me. I feel so angry and insecure all the time and nobody helps me. They watch. I feel so lonely even though I have friends and scared. And I have blamed God a lot for my problems. I wake up crying and screaming and there is just no joy or anyone who cares about and helps me. I am not selfish.

          • lisa April 28, 2014 at 12:02 PM

            some people on this site are just plain stupid , untill they walk in our shoes, they should pretty much shut the hell up and stop putting us down

          • Daniel October 24, 2013 at 2:22 PM

            No it’s not an illness and it’s been proven it’s all in the head

          • hannah October 27, 2013 at 3:49 PM

            HAHA OF COURSE IT’S IN THE HEAD.. IT’S A MENTAL ILLNESS. where did you think it would be found? the kidneys?

          • liz November 29, 2013 at 1:35 PM


          • alice December 15, 2013 at 12:28 PM


          • Alex Powell October 29, 2013 at 5:23 PM

            You obviously don’t understand what real depression is….its a lack of a certain chemical in the brain, to explain it vaguely. but it is VERY real and my mother is clinically depressed. so wheres your “proof” that its not real?

          • Wendy November 11, 2013 at 12:02 PM

            Daniel, who has proven it’s not an illness? Have you ever had serious depression? If not, then you cannot talk about my experiences being phony.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 8:38 AM

            I believe he has the natural-born right to say what he wants, even if you don’t approve!

          • Alex April 1, 2014 at 11:20 AM

            He is entitled to his wrong opinions.

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:21 PM

            Opinions aren’t right or wrong. They are.

          • Jonathan Gray April 12, 2014 at 10:36 PM

            Indeed. Just like the man on the corner ranting about alien invasions and goat-people running the government.

            You can say what you like. Others will think you are an imbecile.

            Please keep saying what you like. It gives others all the warning they need as to the kind of person you are.

          • Natalie April 13, 2014 at 10:30 AM

            I see. Gaslighting me now, huh. I guess you can always compare something that upsets you to aliens if you really want to take it there.

            I’m that big of a threat that people need warnings? …wow

          • Katie January 12, 2014 at 11:02 AM

            Because were not the kind of people who smile after we get punched in the face? Because were not the kind of people who think about what they’ll eat for dinner and when a tv show is coming on? It was people like you who did all this to me and I don’t think I can ever forgive them.Do you have any idea what its like to suffer from autism, then pdd-nos, then finally when you are ‘normal’ again you feel like you aren’t, then have tons of mental problems, thinking that everything is a trap and everyone iting to torture me and only me, then hoping school will be a great hiding place from those cold, dark feelings that haunt me, then realizing they will always be there, you have only people pretending to be your friends and completely neglecting you, but you don’t want to admit you are a loner, especially when you feel lonely enough, then feeling like a useless retarded freak and finding nothing to be ‘happy’ about, becoming depressed when you don’t even know what depression even is yet, then finding out when its way too late to change it, hoping that a move to New York will hep but all of that crushed when you figure out that it will never go away, going from the worlds best school to the worlds worst school, filled with boring lifeless people who love to ignore every REAL problem, then the greatest part of all this is it will never end and nobody will ever care about me or help me! People like you think that full of life means ‘happiness’ meanwhile I think being full of life is knowing what life actually is. I dont believe in happiness. I think that as crazy as it sounds you can enjoy feeling any emotion and that happiness is just enjoying being satisfied but joy is real. Thats the only thing I want. I really just want someone to help me. Is that too much to ask?

          • Heather L. January 16, 2014 at 2:26 PM

            Hi Katie,

            You sound like my life story. I am in my 30’s now, but my childhood sounds something like yours. I have autism, and now depression. I didn’t get help until my late twenties. I was told all of my life that I was “evil” or “demonic.” When I was a child, nobody realized that autism is a spectrum disorder. I had many of the key symptoms, but slipped through the cracks, because I was verbal and somewhat social.

            Please get off of this website. Most of the people here are no help to you, as I can surmise by the hurtful and ignorant comments. What is truly disgusting is that they are knowingly saying these things to someone who has clearly stated “I am only a child” ~ taken from your “November 26, 2013 at 1:49 PM” post.

            As for getting help, it depends on what country you live in. I am from Canada, and there are programs for people with autism, and the sorrows that follow it (such as depression) available to all Canadians. If you live somewhere else (most likely, you do), I can post some sites and books that were helpful to me (I will do this a little later, after I get some sleep – it’s the middle of the night where I am). Mind you, my suggestions are no replacement for someone with an MD, nor do I claim they are.

            I am a Christian, and I will do one thing I know will help (to what extent, and what kind of help, I don’t know). I will pray for you daily. I know there is a tendency to blame God. I struggle with that too. Everyone who has suffered has probably fallen victim to that, even if they do not say it out loud. One thing I know for sure is that God understands, and He is touched by your suffering. Autism is not your fault, nor is depression. You and I were created different from the rest of the world, and the world, for the most part, is not very understanding.

            As I noted from all of your posts, you express yourself very well, and you come across as being extremely intelligent, which is more than I can say for a good portion of the other contributors.

            I don’t know if any of this is helpful, but just know that I care about you, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.



          • Aron January 16, 2014 at 6:23 PM

            No, you are not depressed, you can’t be because depression isn’t real, it’s just an EXCUSE for you to get out of things. Get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourself then you’ll *magically* stop being “depressed”.

          • Bob February 12, 2014 at 12:21 PM

            Aron, I used to be like you. I used to say how depression was nonsense and did not exist, and that there was no proof, etc.

            Well guess what; now I suffer from depression. And believe me, it is no laughing matter, and you better hope that you don’t come down with it because it can make your life a living hell. Your life can be going well, but for some reason you’re experiencing a myriad of scary emotions for no logical reason at all.

            Until you’ve experienced it, you have no idea what you’re talking about, so shut the fuck up.

          • Toma February 12, 2014 at 12:22 PM

            Tell that to your therapist.

          • Toma February 26, 2014 at 1:38 PM

            This was very much why I wrote the article “Overcoming the mind that is overcoming you.” We start to get sucked into a vacuum of negative thinking, and often without knowing it. If we don’t fight it, then we fall deeper into it. We are not unique or special in the way we think. It can happen to any of us, but it’s up to us to fight it, not simply dismiss it as ‘mental illness’. It’s like an alcoholic saying, “Fuck it! I’m an alcoholic, and that’s been declared an illness”, then, in a blasé tone saying, “What can you do.” You think he will ever get better?


          • mr February 16, 2014 at 6:09 PM

            Well, aren’t you a fucking idiot.

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:22 PM

            Nice rebuttal.

          • Beth Mastrodonato June 14, 2014 at 10:54 AM

            love it

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 11:01 AM

            you’ve sure gone or still going through a hell lot! i know what it feels like when the so called friends around are fake and just users and no one in the family understands u! i’m always there for people who’ve been through crap in life like i have and i’m there for you too! u are obviously not alone! yes i literally can’t be there but i’m there to help! :) and so will few other people going through somewhat the kind of problems your going through will be there! stay strong!

          • Dan H November 12, 2013 at 1:58 AM

            Yo simply missed the mark, so called ‘depression is a choice. How we deal, react and suppress guilt (sin), and worry in our lives thus causes thee chemical reactions in our created bodies.
            instead of properly dealing with our ‘self’ and keep ourselves in check morally both in personal character and public actions parasites as the
            Pharmaceutical companies and the darn psychology manipulators bring their false solutions and prey on peoples ignorance,.

          • zapdmom November 12, 2013 at 10:17 AM

            When people tell me that “depression is a choice” I get they are wanting me to be dead. So why don’t you come out with a rifle and just shoot everyone with that choice inspired depression.

          • Newzbug November 21, 2013 at 2:51 PM

            If it’s a choice, then why do I give a $%^^ what my family or friends think? If it weren’t for meds I would already be DEAD. I no more blame the doctors/pharm companies for my illness than I blame them for my heart problems. But I suppose I made a choice to have high blood pressure. I will have to remember that from now on.

          • Amazon November 23, 2013 at 9:06 AM

            Dan – you have no effing idea what you are talking about. You are part of the problem for those of us who suffer from depression. Go hurt someone else and leave sick people alone. What a total jackass. And that goes for the person who wrote this so-called article, too.

          • Allisom November 23, 2013 at 10:43 PM

            Right on my bro! :D

          • Sarah November 23, 2013 at 10:48 AM

            Anything can be called an “illness”, over eating, sex addiction, the list goes on. I think it’s just an excuse for people to not act the right way so they keep doing what they do or think the way they do and say “oh im this way be because i have an illness. Im sorry but i think you’re just taking this to heart because you say you have an “illness” with depression. This article wasn’t stupid, it was just not tip toeing around peoples feelings.

          • ted norton November 23, 2013 at 11:22 AM

            Sarah get your head out of your ass and do a little research. And Emily, Sarah is not worth the value of your time.


          • ted norton November 23, 2013 at 11:35 AM

            ( I mean Emma. Sorry)

          • Sarah November 24, 2013 at 3:16 AM

            Oh goodness. My head isn’t up my ass. I just have my own thoughts and views of things. That’s all. I express my opinion and of course people get hurt over it, never intended to make anyone mad. Can’t there just be a simple debate with opinion and no insults?

          • ted norton November 24, 2013 at 3:53 AM

            An opinion should be informed. With the entire worldwide medical community having acknowledged depressive disorders as illnesses, featuring not only mental but physical symptoms and chronic features, you somehow have information that is better than their dedicated research ? I meant no insult. I was just remarking on your state of ignorance as frankly as possible.

          • newzbug November 24, 2013 at 8:09 AM

            Anytime ANYONE expresses their opinion, someone is going to disagree. People who are “hurt” by it must have some underlyiing things going on to be hurt so easily by opinion.

          • Ted Norton November 25, 2013 at 5:29 AM

            Ignorance is NOT opinion. Period. And YES people are hurt because they suffer from a condition that is being misrepresented and deliberately misunderstood by others who have no idea how much PAIN is involved. I will resist the urge to put any of you in great pain and then have others mock your condition by telling you it’s only your weak character causing the pain. It’s inhumane to speak the way you do of something you obviously have never experienced.

          • newzbug November 26, 2013 at 2:30 AM

            Ted Norton, I have been living with severe MDD for a long time now. I only recently had spent a week in a local psych hospital. I put myself there because “I was afraid of me”. I know that sounds odd, but I didn’t know how much longer I could resist the urge to kill myself. So tell me TomaHaiku, do you think I am selfish for wanting to not only end MY pain, but the pain of others who consistently ridicule, belittle and are cruel to ME, because my illness “doesn’t exist”. I am cursed to always hear those people in my head over and over. While you can merely wish your discomforts away. So now who do you think think is being selfish?!!!

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:26 PM

            The basis on which you call commenters and the author ignorant is unfounded.

            The rule is that you must be heard out, supported and validated, or the other party, however reserved and tactful, is pitted against you as an ignoramus.

            I think the hope of an open exchange of thoughts and opinions is lost here.

          • mandilouwho? December 19, 2013 at 9:54 AM

            Duh yeah someone is offended because ignorant people write ignorant comments not knowing at all what they are talking about on people that do know because they have experienced it. Yes addictions and mental illnesses are getting brought to light now and yes God can cure but where is he? Everyone with an illness does not have the mind to beg for help and when you have major depression like me as someone else already stated you don’t have energy to even get up and start to do things and I do exercise and eat right everyday and on my good days really can feel OK but its still a struggle to do anything and I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

          • Jonathan Gray April 12, 2014 at 10:40 PM

            So you express an opinion when you know it will hurt someone? If you do this, then you INTEND to hurt, because you could simply keep your big mouth shut. This is the behaviour of a child.

            As you get older, you come to realise your goddamn opinions are of very little consequence. Keep your mouth shut, no-one cares what you think, and no-one needs to hear them. Your desire to express them is of no consequence either.

            I’ll take the opinions of medical professionals, not self-entitled morons like you.

          • Natalie April 13, 2014 at 10:32 AM

            Yet you can call people morons and children? When the same insults were not dealt to you.

            Please stop manufacturing insult and then we can begin to talk and understand.

          • Arby April 13, 2014 at 11:35 AM

            I don’t follow your thinking. Toma is not in ear-shot of you. This is his blog; you came to visit. Why would he shut his month about his opinion when he created this site to share his ideas with those inclined to read them.

            I understand disagreeing with his ideas/opinion/POV, but disagreeing with his right to post them. Illogical.

          • Mr Cellophane November 23, 2013 at 11:22 AM

            Sarah, let’s clear something up. ALL THAT MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE is an extreme at one end of a spectrum of behaviors, where “normal” is some range closer to the middle. So yes, there is a normal range of binge eating as well as a less normal range.

            Mental disorders are characterized by 3 things: Deviance from the norm (what I stated above), Dysfunction (that the behaviors are getting in the way of functional daily life), and Distress (that the person is unhappy with the behavior). All 3 of these things lie on a spectrum.

            There is no exact line on the spectrum where one set of behaviors qualifies as an “illness” and another qualifies as “normal.”

            Before you get your panties in a wad, let me clarify: Yes, there are specific diagnostic criteria for mental illnesses. However, labels have been invented and assigned to certain sets of behaviors for the purpose of making things easier to treat, NOT for the purpose of giving excuses. Researchers said, “Hey, there are all these people who have a lot of these same problems. And they all seem to have something similar going on in their biology and/or medical history and/or childhood and/or life stressors. And, MOST IMPORTANTLY, they all seem to show some improvement when we try treatments X, Y, and Z. Let’s put a label on them!”

            If someone can look at themselves and realize they are having similar problems as that certain labelled group, it’s a hell of a lot more useful in changing those problems than if they had no idea what’s wrong with them. THAT, Sarah, is the purpose of calling something an illness. Fuck, that’s the entire purpose of the field of psychiatry.

            If someone acts like an asshole and knows it, says they can’t help it because of a disorder, and has absolutely no interest in changing these behaviors, then they’re just an asshole. They may or may not actually meet the criteria of a certain disorder, but that’s irrelevant to being an asshole.

          • ted norton November 23, 2013 at 11:28 AM

            Maybe ignorance isn’t an illness, but there is a sure fire treatment for it nonetheless. thanks Mr. Cellophane.

          • newzbug November 23, 2013 at 1:01 PM

            I just can’t figure out where these “stupid” people came from. They try to enforce their beliefs on others. Try to tell others their illness doesn’t exist. Well, if my illness doesn’t exist, neither does your headache. Or your sore back or your high blood pressure. You just make it up to get out of working, or going to a relatives house. I am so sick of this. Some people will never change and the guy who wrote this article is one of them. They talk about having an open mind when in fact they have already made up their minds. F#CK YOU Sara and Toma…that is about the only phrase you will ever understand. I feel so sorry for your families.

          • Bob February 12, 2014 at 12:29 PM

            Amen, brother! I don’t get where these assholes come off making statements like this from things they have NEVER experienced. It’s amazing that they HONESTLY believe their bullshit, that they are somehow superior because they choose to be more positive than people who suffer from depression. I smell some nasty narcissism at work here…

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:29 PM

            It is disheartening to see yor extreme reaction to another neutral opinion. It seems unbearable to so many when they sense less than free-flowing sympathy.

          • newzbug November 24, 2013 at 4:00 AM

            Do you know anyone with a serious depressive illness? Family, friends? Do you tell them that their depression isn’t real? You better get to it. You have a lot of people to inform of your “intelligent” discovery….NOT

          • ted norton November 25, 2013 at 5:40 AM

            EXACTLY. WHY HANG OUT IN A BLOG SPREADING IGNORANCE WHEN YOU CAN JUST GO STRAIGHT UP TO REAL HUMANS AND OFFEND THEM IN PERSON WITH IGNORANCE AND INHUMANE JUDGEMENTS. I stand by everything I say on this page and I would say to anyone in person and I know it would not worsen their condition or make them more self loathing nor would it close doors to further, more effective treatment and the simple comfort that other human beings actually CARE what they are going through.

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:30 PM

            Then go check out a support forum, Ted Norton. That’s the best place to go for caring support.

          • Lisa December 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM

            Do some research and then tell us how you feel. You honestly don’t know a damn thing you’re talking about.

          • Ray December 16, 2013 at 10:17 AM

            Tell me, why is it that people seem to be able to accept that any organ in your body get sick, and yet, as soon as someone mentions a mental illness, people tell us that “It’s all in your head. It’s not real. Get over it. You’re selfish.” Why is it that people can accept that any organ in your body can get sick… but not the brain? Is the brain not an organ? Is it not a part of your body? Please explain to me why you feel justified in telling a person with a mental illness that, not only is their suffering “not an illness” but that it is their fault? Are you going to go tell a person with leukemia that it’s their fault that they have an abnormal increase of immature white blood cells, and that they should just get over it, and stop being so selfish? No? Then why in the world would you go around telling people with mental illnesses that they should just get over their chemical imbalance in their brain? That it’s their fault that their neurones work in such a way as that it affects their behaviour?

          • Estaban Haroon December 16, 2013 at 10:49 AM

            Are you seriously comparing cancer to depression?
            How spoiled and self-absorbed does a person have to be to compare involuntary, brutal death to “I CANT HANDLE THIS MUNDANE PAIN THAT IM TOO STUPID TO DEAL WITH SO IM ENDING MY LIFE”. When people are actually sick with diseases they actually have no power on they tend to fight and deny their illness, so why is it that people with depression so desperately cling to the fact that depression is an illness? Why is it that a dying 40 year old man will deny that his heart is weak and attempt to carry on with his life while a 24 year old whines about how his/her illness, is in fact, an illness. It’s the fact that you continue to cling to anything that says that you have no power over yourself makes your illness less valid.

          • Laura January 1, 2014 at 2:26 PM

            Yeah, right. The thing I can’t handle right now is your stupidity. Depressed people are just stupid, thus kill themselves. What an intelligent statement to make.
            How about this: If you have no idea what you’re talking about, just shut up.

            Lots of people die of cancer, lots of people dealing with severe depression end up taking their own lifes. Now tell me, where’s the difference? Why is it “better” to die of cancer?

          • Estaban Haroon January 1, 2014 at 2:50 PM

            It’s that mentality right there. The way you worded it. “Why is it “BETTER” to die of cancer.”. I don’t even know where to begin in explaining how horribly wrong a statement that is to make. But let me tell you why it is more VALID to die of cancer than it is to die of depression. Because the difference between dying of cancer and dying of depression is the difference between dying of a common cold just because you didn’t want to wear a sweater and being stabbed in the face.

            People with depression are dumb and that’s why they kill themselves, yes. You are human. You have the most intricate and powerful brain known to exist. The strongest thing in the known universe and what do you use it for? Destroying your own self internally because you’re too stubborn and stupid to let go of a shitty mentality. If you ask me that is not only dumb but pathetic.

          • Anonymous January 9, 2014 at 10:23 AM

            Your statement that people who suffer from depression are dumb is a sweeping generalization and is therefore invalid. There are many studies, including a large one in 2012 with over one million participants, that have actually found that high IQ and creativity are linked with mental illnesses, such as depression, anorexia nervosa, and schizophrenia. The DARPPA-32 gene is a primary suspect in this link. This is not to say that all people suffering from mental illnesses are brilliant because there are many factors contributing to mental illness, however you cannot accurately say that all people with depression are unintelligent.

          • Estaban Haroon January 10, 2014 at 4:03 PM

            First of all, as you said, IQ doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe people with a high IQ just have a tendency to get into a redundant infinite loop up their own asses, I don’t know. I just like to use the term dumb because, really, depression is the only kind of thing you can really refer to as dumb. If someone is having learning issues then they’re just not adept in that field, but if someone wants to kill themselves because they’re so far up their own asses that they won’t see the outside then I think that qualifies them as dumb regardless of how “intelligent” they may be. I also like to use the term dumb because most people with depression need to see the flaw in their mentality and I feel like dumb is an adequate term to convey that.

            There are, obviously, people who are just born with a chemical imbalance that makes it more likely for them to have depressed thoughts and those people are influenced from birth to think like that and can’t really be blamed. But the vast majority of people with depression at this day and age brought depression upon themselves and those are the people that I refer to as dumb.

          • troubled21yearold January 30, 2014 at 4:17 PM

            When I was younger I always wondered how depression manifested itself. How I was seemingly happy and though I had a less than perfect life. I enjoyed life and thought everything about it was beautiful. The ability to feel pleasure, pain, emphathy, understanding was mystifyingly perfect. I sought to understand the universe and studied physics, philosophy and psychology. After a combination of very devastating experiences including PTSD I delved into a state that had stripped me of my ability to be happy. I could not find the energy or desire to get off my bed, and realized the illusory state of the human mind. What meaning do our finite existence in all of space time hold? Perhaps some of this was outside the scope of normal people that only care about Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber’s new scandals. I realized that I needed and desperately wanted to feel happy again. I changed my lifestyle to exercising 6 days a week, was more involved in social gatherings, and was very successful in the science community. Yet despite, these efforts something was still off. I was not my old self. I could not enjoy the simple pleasures of life and felt guilty for feeling this way when there were people worse off. The last three years of my life have been actively spent trying desperately to be happy, think positive thoughts, love others, learn the philosophy of great philosophers about happiness, and dwelling on various religions and they’re interpretations. It did feel better than staying in my bed all day (albeit it was difficult to find the energy to change my lifestyle around especially for a depressed individual). However, I still deal with obstacles of anxiety, emptiness, lack of motivation and energy. I try harder to be happy than most yet come short of theirs. I have hope that one day I’ll be able to feel and live the life that I once felt even in it’s most imperfect state. However, I have ever told anyone I was depressed. I only recently found out and it makes sense and gives me hope that with help of medication I can begin to enjoy life again. I realize now what the condition feels like, and I can assure you I did not choose it. If you felt this way, you would really understand the complexities of the illnesss. There is much to be learned by both sides of the argument: 1. depression is not a choice or a way to victtimize oneself in an attempt for attention. It is real and a great epidemic in the western world. 2. The western world has a lifestyle that does not suit us or our health and there are certain steps that we must take to help our illness. Ignorance and intolerance has always been the basis for the atocities of mankind, and if we are to keep those traits mankind will never progress.

          • Toma January 30, 2014 at 4:21 PM

            You should read a book called Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

          • Estaban Haroon February 4, 2014 at 11:15 AM

            You can try all you want but it wont happen unless you truly want it and truly believe that you can achieve it. YOU are the element that needs to be changed here. It’s not an extension of you that’s fucking you up, it’s not everyone else it’s your very core. Your core mentality is shit. Sure, sometimes your core can be influenced by the outside, sometimes people around you can be happy and you get happy too. But ultimately the only person that truly has the choice to change their core is you and you don’t want to because it’s too difficult or too different or whatever the fuck. So you go out and try to do things in hopes that maybe you maybe influenced by the outside rather than influencing your own damn self which is what most psychiatrists would have their patients do because they know all their patients are lazy pieces of shit. I admire the effort. Your situation is infinitely more valid than most of the other depressed people that don’t even have half a mind to change. And I think you might really be ‘cured’ this way. But my point still stands.

            If we say the depression is out of our control we regress. We progress by having a better understanding and control of ourselves and by excerpting the colossal power of our brains that separates us from the animals.

          • Tealessence February 6, 2014 at 5:04 PM

            So, I suffer from MDD along with various other diagnoses, and have attempted suicide multiple times. I must be stupid, right? Then why do I have an IQ of 142? I’d wager your IQ is about… negative 40.

          • Toma February 6, 2014 at 5:35 PM

            Our minds create so much noise, even more so with higher intelligence. It has nothing to do with stupidity.

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:31 PM

            Putting words in someone’s mouth: a reliable way to get yourself angry every time.

          • Adelissa March 22, 2014 at 1:18 PM

            I have had cancer, I have had anxiety and major depression. I would take physical suffering over mental suffering any day. I truly hope all of you with the opinion that we are just weak selfish people who don’t want to get better never say things like that to a depressed family member. And frankly, I don’t care what you believe, if you can’t put kindness and compassion first.

          • De'Anna March 23, 2014 at 3:08 PM

            Now let’s say all this medical technology didn’t exist. People got sick and it would just be so strange and curious how a person could suddenly change. They would cough blood, faint, or just die. People would be accused of not being helpful and probably even killed on spot when people start getting contagious. Now let’s compare ‘that’ to ‘this’. See much difference? We don’t have the technology to PROVE that depression is just a feeling. Or the other way around. We can’t even PROVE it’s in the head. All we have to cling on is seriously painful migraines, emotional changes, and feeling slow. We can’t find anything with the technology we have, and we have no idea how to advance it. Every depressed person in this world isn’t suicidal, and most aren’t spoiled. If you had depression you would know the suicide is more in the head than it is attempted. You lose sanity, freak out, and start to only see the fucked up parts of life (drugs, abuse, pessimism, etc). If you have ever seen Eeyore from Winnie the pooh then take him, max his slowness and pessimism by ten, stick him in u.s.a, and paint the whole world in gray scale. If you actually try to see it then maybe you can understand how scary it is. Not to mention depression DOES have physical problems involved as well. Depression can run in families just like cancer…just like any illness. I can also tell you most suicides in america don’t come from depression, but anxiety. If you want to someone call names learn support yourself with some REAL information and not just your ‘human instinct’. Because if you haven’t noticed yet it’s that ‘human instinct’ that’s killing this world.
            I survived cancer. I have depression. I’m still alive, and I approve this message.

          • Estaban November 30, 2013 at 2:32 PM

            If depression was simply an illness that was just “there”, regardless of the person, then why is it more common in people who have shitty pasts and a history of being abused.

          • Kylie December 1, 2013 at 12:47 PM

            Ever heard of neuroplasticity? Events can change brain structure and chemistry.Would you say someone who had a heart attack did not have an illness while many with heart problems have it because of past behaviors and events? More people need to think before they speak.

          • Estaban December 1, 2013 at 3:23 PM

            I didn’t deny that it was an illness, I denied that it was just “there”. People with heart attacks tend to be people with shitty dietary choices. The same way people with depression tend to be people with shitty mental choices. Just because it’s an illness it doesn’t mean you had no hand it and it doesn’t mean that it’s “out of your power” to do anything about it and it certainly doesn’t mean that you should start romanticizing it and treating as anything more than a shitty way of thinking that you, by your own standards, shouldn’t be engaged in.

          • Gwen December 9, 2013 at 2:04 PM

            You are possibly the biggest idiot I have ever encountered on the internet. First you say that depression tends to be more prevalent in people who have a history of being abused…and then you say that “people with depression tend to be people with SHITTY MENTAL CHOICES” so a person who was abused as a child chose to be abused?? You really need to re-read what you say before you submit it. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming that you didn’t mean to word that the way you did…no person can be this moronic. Also, I can assure you that there are people in this world who had great childhoods/lives and suffer from depression and other mental illnesses. Do you also think that schizophrenia is a choice? It is so easy to google these (and many other) topics in this day and age…do some damn research.

          • Estaban December 9, 2013 at 3:03 PM

            I’m sorry I assumed people had the common sense to see how the two statements do not contradict each other. Depression is more common with people that have had a history of abuse, yes. Depression is a result of a “shitty mentality”, yes. What I was saying was, depression is a result of dealing with tragedy or general negativity in a dumb way. Depression is more common in people who have been abused as children because kids are dumb and are more likely to deal with the negativity incorrectly and stick with that mentality but ultimately it is still their choice to have thought that way. People with perfectly normal childhoods can also develop depression if they so choose to deal with pain in a demented way. If people with depression begin to recognize that they are creatures of free will and that they are responsible for the person they are, they can also begin to recognize that they can choose to be someone different using that very same free will. It becomes more and more difficult as you grow up and that shitty way of thought becomes a part of you and your brain begins to physically reflect it but it’s not at all impossible.

          • Nando December 9, 2013 at 4:20 PM

            TOMA I dont know why you even have this blog. You should immediatley deactivate this blog. I dont believe free will has anything do doo with mental illness. Oh and by the way people that have hart attacks are not because they have poor nutrition or choose unhealthy diatery choices. I dont know why you dont do your reasearch. And really you should leave out religion. I am very happy for you that you dont suffer mental illness. And I am quite surprised, because you come across as being a very caring and intelligent human being. Because if you didnt care you would not of put up this blog. I base mental illness on scientific research and facts. Religion on the other hand regarding free will should be left out of the equation dont you?

          • Jay December 17, 2013 at 6:10 AM

            children are dumb and more likely to deal with abuse in an “incorrect” way??? Did you seriously say that? There is no right or wrong way to deal with trauma. Let’s beat, belittle, deprive, starve, rape, and yell at you and see how “correctly” you handle it. Since you’re so smart.

          • Estaban December 17, 2013 at 8:54 AM

            Of course there’s an incorrect way to deal with pain. I’m not completely sure as to how I specifically would deal with intense negative emotions but I know that there is definitely a wrong way of going about it. If a kid cut themselves as a method of coping with rape could you possibly think that their method of dealing with the pain is not “incorrect” but simply “different”.

          • Rawbert December 31, 2013 at 9:58 AM

            Let me just chime in here. I have read a lot of the reply’s on this site and have to agree that everyone has a valid point as to their own perspective. But the truth is there and stated many times. Depression is a serious “malfunction” of the brain. I am an individual that strongly believes that depression is something that an individual can beat. I have had bouts of depression….and I have overcome those bouts by first looking at how I see things. (perspective) I have a sister that was diagnosed with Severe Depression. She was medicated for years…and nothing worked. Until I explained to here how to handle the thoughts that created the “malfunction”. There are POC’s and POD’s. There are points of creation and points of destruction. And it is our own responsibility to ourselves to look at our past and recognize those points. That is not an easy task. But it is something that can be obtained. I have an 13 year old daughter who has been diagnosed with depression and put on medication for it. But through thoughtful conversations, she has been able to understand how to recognize these points and eliminate them from her thought process. She is no longer depressed and no longer on meds. So when the individuals state that depression is something that is created in our heads by how we as individuals respond to emotional conflict….they are correct…..with out a doubt!
            I hope that each person that deals with depression, will first look to themselves for the answer to their happiness.

          • Toma December 31, 2013 at 10:11 AM

            … And if they can’t find it within themselves, they can find it in something greater than themselves.

            Beautifully written. Thank you.

          • Anonymous January 9, 2014 at 6:34 PM

            I’m moderately convinced that you are a troll. If not, please try to present an educated opinion as opposed to your obvious current ignorance of neurophysiology and development. I strongly suggest this since you are choosing to put down others. Also, please, for the love of god, stop using the term “dumb”. A few alternative words I believe you could use in place of it (after reading a few of your posts) are illogical, unintelligent, misguided, or self destructive. Thanks.

          • mrt February 16, 2014 at 6:16 PM

            Really? So I chose to be abused by my dad when I was younger?

          • Estaban Haroon February 18, 2014 at 11:35 AM

            No, but you chose to let it dictate the rest of your life.

          • Lee April 5, 2014 at 4:56 AM

            Oh darling, it’s hilariously naive of you to believe this. I find it pretty astounding that you can show that little sympathy. Either you’ve lived an incredibly sheltered and privileged life, or you simply have superhuman abilities to overcome obstacles/ debilitating setbacks in life. Based on the level of your arguments, I’m more inclined to believe that it’s the former. Suffering from abuse in your childhood, especially when one is so impressionable, DEFINITELY leave a mark on the child. I’m not saying it’s impossible to overcome it. Often people do, and that’s great! But it is INCREDIBLY hard. By saying this, not only are you insulting those that are not able to overcome their mental illnesses as a cause of abuse but also disregarding the immense struggle that ALL of them, whether successfully or not, have put into getting back to a normal. Your manner of splitting everything into neat boxes without a sense of its complexities is very worrying.

          • Toma April 7, 2014 at 1:45 PM

            We all have superhuman abilities, and they rest in the human spirit. God is superhuman, and our spirit is a piece of Him. When we tap into it, superhuman things happen. Too many people throughout history have experienced it for it to not be true.

          • RJ April 30, 2014 at 12:37 AM


          • Toma February 26, 2014 at 1:23 PM

            No, and that’s fucked up, but what you do today is a choice.

          • De'Anna March 23, 2014 at 3:15 PM

            Who knows. When you die, maybe you can ask their ancestors. Depression can run in families. Yet, it also just appears based on your emotions.
            But it’s not the only problem that can run in families and appear based on something else.
            There are a lot of problems like that.
            So why can’t it be an illness?

          • Rahul Sharma December 4, 2013 at 6:01 AM

            but im sorry depression is not real , its a kin to a self inflicted wound , for every man depressed with his life there are 200 other people with ridiculously hard lives living happily because they choose to go on with life despite its shortcomings

          • newzbug December 4, 2013 at 7:53 AM

            So tell me, “Doctor”, what is your evidence to support your ridiculous idea?

          • newzbug December 4, 2013 at 7:57 AM

            So Mr. KnowsAll, to whom is “Depression” not related. You response of “a kin” is incorrect as this implies a person being related to another. However if you used the word properly it would be “akin”…ONE WORD.

          • Depressed and trying to heal because I want a happy Life. December 4, 2013 at 10:47 AM

            Every person wants to believe in their opinion so strongly, even if a doctor told them depression was real they still wouldn’t believe it. It’s sad to say that depression isn’t real. It’s really a idiotic thing to say, like any condition it can surface and it can go away. In my opinion Depression is like a addiction, when a person has been down for so long, it’s hard for them to take themselves out without proper help. Many people get depression over a death and they’re so sad that they can died themselves, not die by killing their self with an object, but died from sorrow, now tell me that is not a illness. For someone like myself, I truly believe that depression is all in the head and is an addiction. I know that with proper treatment, like counseling and active to work to redirect thinking into a positive state anyone with depression can get better.

            I can say that depression might start from a selfish place. When I was younger I didn’t understand most things, like know if my mother didn’t show me love that it’s her problem and not mine. I ached so bad for my mother to treat me nice, I always thought she didn’t like me. She would take my money, sell my toys, and not talk to me sometimes. Sometime it seemed she would do those things for my brother and not me. I was only 4 years old thinking like this. (Yes 4 I have a good memory because my past hurts me a lot.) When I was 8 my mother passed and so did my father. My father was the only person I felt love from and it sadden me that he left, that they both left because I still needed my mothers love that I never got. The day my mother died I seen her spirit and it tromtized me for 4 years which caused me to have major anxiety problems. I became timid, needy, and I felt alone, I’ve carried the same feeling with me and I always looked for it in my friends and other family members. However I never could find it within them, so when I was in high school I had a year when everyone sad and very hurtful things to me, so i went into major withdrawal and depression. Years of accumulated stress and sorrow, that;s a lot of work to be done and time to be healed.

            I understand the means of positive thinking and like most people with depression I seek help, but it doesn’t stop me from crashing every six months into a major depression. I could go on for 5 months with a positive mind and do positive things, but eventually i become over whelmed and crash into a depression. I try to keep pushing when i feel my crash is coming along, but then i start to get irritated, restless, sick to my stomach, and eventually violent if I can’t find somewhere to be depressed.

            It’s a sad story and I wish I could stop it, but it take time for people to get over depression and things.First they just have to be willing to understand what their negative thinking is coming from. Once a depressed person has detected that, they be able to control their emotions more. It’s a serious process but it has to start some where.


          • newzbug December 4, 2013 at 3:44 PM

            Sometimes your refusal to believe in your illness is one of the ways to never get over it at all. Yes, this is an illness in your brain. Mental, if you want. In many ways like you I thought that if I had x number of years with depression it would take the same amount of years to get better. But it doesn’t work that way. The reason meds stop working is simple. When the brain/mind is “sick with depression” for such a long time … you find this “normal” status as OK. But when your body chemistry gets attack with drugs, and all that time, your body is trying to go back to it’s original state. And when it does, or nearly does, that is when your depression/normal state breaks thru the drugs.

            A lot of people will never be convince of another opinion. Especially if they were brought up with that belief. I believe that Toma thinks what he thinks because his mind cannot comprehend it. I suppose if we come up with a good enough analogy then MAYBE it will sink in. But I doubt it. I have better things to do with my life than argue with people.

            I have read enough medical and scientific literature to back up my beliefs. That is all I need.

          • jgrieme91 April 3, 2014 at 9:14 AM

            Dear woefully ignorant author,

            Look, I understand your frustration at depression. It comes from the same root that I have with OCD. People use the terms colloquially. However, the clinical diagnosis while syntactically the same, is not the same semantically.

            “Depression isn’t real.” That is an interesting statement. You see it isn’t real, but that is because an illness is something that is only real to the person experiencing it. Of course we can deduce cancer by building up similar cases, and then it is a real diagnosis. You confuse your language if you say depression is not real. Take a basic class in linguistics then try to comment on language.

          • I Could Be Gumby December 4, 2013 at 1:49 PM

            My god you’re such a blockhead. Those people, that one in every 200 you describe, Rahul, the reason why they cannot get on with their lives is because of the depression. When will you blockheads learn that depression is NOT momentary sadness, but something that envelops your whole. It’s numbness, it’s darkness, its lack of drive and motivation. It’s this thing you want to kill but it seems insurmountable. Depression is a black hole. That is an apt description. It’s pull is so strong that getting out of it feels impossible. And the depressed don’t lack drive and motivation because they are lazy, it is because the mechanisms in the brain that create drive are more or less malfunctioning. They try to get back on their feet but it is VERY VERY difficult.

            Once again, I need to call you a blockhead. Because you are. It is sad knowing that there are people in this world that are so thick.

          • Michele December 18, 2013 at 4:41 PM

            Agreed Emma, Yes. Exactly this. The author sounds very young and naive and ignorant as to what depression actually is and all it entails. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. My dance with the black dog is continuous and has nothing to do with whatever is going on in my life. It just is.

          • Manuel December 19, 2013 at 6:40 AM

            If it was so tragic then why do your romanticize it?

          • Amanda December 24, 2013 at 11:16 AM

            word sista ‘

          • Right. December 25, 2013 at 7:30 AM

            Agreed Emma, the author may have a mental understanding a number of others don’t, which makes him look very ignorant, immature, and cold in is relaying of his observation. Certainly by all means does not make him right, and in the way he approach’s it leaves one wondering how such an article could make it to a site about being human and presented as a source of spiritual growth. His perspective ironically shines on gaps and ignorance. It’s interesting too that he talks about the ego being the problem, while at the same time there is so much of his personal egocentricity throughout the article. Now that kind of ego is worse than someone who’s struggling within, and certainly not a positive concept to teach others.. I would suggest to sit down and discuss with someone why they are struggling and present information in a positive, constructive way – don’t tell them they’re just being selfish and that depression is not “real”. LOL Yeah, that explains it all. What a wonderful silver bullet, heck I feel better now too!

          • Carob December 30, 2013 at 6:12 AM

            Agree to the fullest level. Ignorant article written by someone who obviously has never experienced depression. Do you think a mother who’s twinn daughters died at birth is selfish because of depression. Pompous uneducated a$&

          • The cakes December 31, 2013 at 4:44 PM

            I absolutely agree with you Emma! In contrast, I know some of the things that have probably contributed to my depression! The loss of my child, a surgical procedure that left me with broken screws in my neck and I now live in constant pain! Then add an unwanted divorce to that! These are things that one has no control over! A drunk took the life of my baby and almost took my life as well. Then you add to that the physical pain that i now live in and then the unwanted divorce. How is this selfish? It is as though a bar has been set before me and I either clear the bar or I don’t! Well, I am unable to get over the bar and in fact am just about at the point of removing the bar; I have finally relized after years that I can not get over the bar. I have run for so long in an attempt to pretend that these problems will somehow go away but they don’t and they won’t! I have finally admitted to myself that i can not clear this bar! My life will not ever be the same but the real problem is that I can not live like this! I am both physically and mentally tortured on a daily basis! I wish this fool could walk in my shoes for even a year; then write what it is like! I would be willing to wager quite a bit that the paper would read very different than this one! A good example of selfish would be the drunk who got behind the wheel and wagered his life and everyone else’s on the road that night so that he could get to his next destination! My newyears resolution is to not make it to 2014! May god be more forgiving than this man who thinks I am selfish!

          • spectrm312 January 9, 2014 at 8:31 AM

            Absolute bollocks. I was depressed, even suicidal, exactly once. As soon as I realized that my existence impacts others and that others give a damn, it ended and never returned.

            I wonder if you understand evolution enough to understand that if depression ‘just happened’ as some kind of phenotypic expression, natural selection would’ve removed it long ago. There is no science behind depression studies, just conjecture and psychotropic drugs.

            Nothing complicated about it.

          • Science January 25, 2014 at 5:06 AM

            First of all, evolution is not perfect. There are other mental illnesses natural selection should have “gotten rid of”, such as schizophrenia which I highly doubt anyone who’s meant someone with the illness would say they’re “faking it”. Same with Bipolar disorder and bipolar mania where some people have psychosis. Second, evolution happens over a longer period of time to eliminate negative features via natural selection. Longer than homo sapiens have walked the earth. Not to mention, we’re very good at keeping people alive and functional who would have probably been weeded out by natural selection as you claim. I wonder if YOU understand evolution as much as you claim you do. Pick up a book. Take a class in evolutionary biology. Then come back and see if you say the same thing. Or maybe it’s too complicated for you to understand so in your mind you oversimplify it so you can feel intelligent.

          • ange January 23, 2014 at 3:09 PM

            I agree with you Emma I had post partum depression it was so crazy the true feeling of depression I have felt sad or upset about things & thought that was depression but hell no the truth is real depression is a crazy feeing I cant even explain I would actually have visions almost dream like times like I was standing out side my body & coudnt help myself all I could do is watch. don’t ever let people tell you depression isn’t real only a doctor can truly tell you if what your issues are is depression or just feeling a strong down on your self.

          • Toma January 23, 2014 at 3:24 PM

            Standing outside of your body? Kind of like standing in the periphery, staring at your own centre?


          • divya April 3, 2014 at 11:42 AM

            toma , i’m not going to call u wrong or right! i just want to ask a question to which i need an answer! have u ever experienced depression? and if yes how severe…did u not take any medical help and just used the super powers of ur supernatural brain to heal it? :)

          • colin sanderson February 5, 2014 at 10:11 AM

            I think it it is a poor translation to say selfish, but more in line with buddhist beliefs to say that the ego is a cause of all suffering. But even relief from the suffering by meditation and mindfulness does not take away the slow thinking and the feeling of wading through mud. Its like you have been drugged and you have, its the chemical factory in our own body that has decided by mistake that to feel this way will be of some benefit.

          • sasha February 19, 2014 at 1:09 PM

            this is the dumbest thing i have ever read depression is not something you just get over. what if your depressed because all you do is think of others and try to be happy, understand yourself. never being selfish and always giving while there is always someone taking. what about if your family disowns you for you trying to think for yourself and have your own belief. i think it is an illness and its peoples personality that helps control it. some times everyone cracks at the breaking point no matter what triggered it everything can take a toll after awhile. what if you have been raped and are depressed because it stops you from having control thats not being selfish is it ??

          • Odey February 20, 2014 at 3:35 AM

            I agree with you Emma.. and think this article is very judgmental based on an individualistic philosophy… ive lived most of my life in a poor country and i have been fighting depression since eight years has nothing to do with rich or poor.. it all about circumstances… i cant simply change the way i think about something that i have to live with for the rest of my life.. i’m loosing the joy of my youth because of this and you come tell me .. think positive?? how can you make such a judgement??.. you dont know me or know what ive been through to come tell me that im selfish and just “change the way you think”

          • Dovydas March 12, 2014 at 1:02 AM

            That is nonsense. You are arguing only because you cannot admit being a selfish. No reason.. there is always a reason. My prove to you – think about the example of your SAD day or moment, are you feeling lonely, does everything look meaningless around so you start analysing purpose of life, how to find true love.. Call it depression if you want because you look from your perspective, but when I look at person like this from my point of view – he/she look selfish. I am maybe alone but occupy myself with activity that is interesting so no time for stupid thoughts. Of course it is difficult to force yourself to something when you dont find any internal drive to do it, doesnt please you and doesnt please anyone else. Where should you start then to get out of this whirpool.. My point is that depression is real, because otherwise it would not exist, but important thing is to understand that its existence is only because we made it to exist with our addictive lifestyle, and im talking not about you but about all society where you ended up in. My suggestion is to take some medication if its too hard to deal with it on your own, but dont waste medication, think of them as a quite poisonous rope that helps you step out from deeper levels of that whirpool but if you use that rope just to hold on and not move out of there (like feel good but spend your days in same routine as you had before), eventually its not going to hold you anymore and you will sink even deeper..

          • impossiblegirl April 1, 2014 at 5:47 PM

            Wow, are being lonely, a bit existential or ‘true love’ the only examples of things that could make someone depressed that you can think of?

            How lovely that you’ve had such a beautiful life you can’t even imagine things that could make someone depressed. I suppose a person is still selfish if they’ve lost a baby, or been raped?

            Anyway, there’s a difference between periods of minor depression (which many people get, and which can turn into something more severe) and depressive disorders.

            Minor depression is caused by a trigger and can be overcome (sometimes with therapy and medication, sometimes by exercise, clean eating and support). A depressive disorder is literally caused by synapses in your brain that produce serotonin not communicating. It’s physically impossible to have (or believe) happy thoughts if your brain is producing no serotonin. And it affects your entire body, too, making it impossible to get up or function sometimes.

            SSRIs or SSNRIs, the medications for depression, increase serotonin, but for me, they also lubricate the synapses in my brain that don’t work and make them communicate again. I NEED my medication to even be happy some of the time; if I didn’t have it, that would be impossible.

            It’s not a minor thing that can be cured with positive thinking, it’s a medical condition that stays with someone their whole life (I’ve had mine since about 8 years old, despite having a wonderful family and life up till then). It can go into ‘remission’, and not bother you for months or years, and then turn up again out of nowhere.

            Try having Major Depressive Disorder combined with a Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Then try to tell me the only thing medication will do is worsen the condition.

          • Jeana March 15, 2014 at 4:57 PM

            I like this comment and emma youre right. Depression is when people are sad and its an illness. God Damn! Maybe the author doesnt even know how depression feels like. Its such a judgement to say that being depression is when sad people are sadder than most people so we aint trying to get attention we just need help!

          • fiona March 24, 2014 at 10:51 PM

            Hello there, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this… may I share with you a little of my understanding in the hope that it may help you. …Depression BECOMES an illness ( or disease = dis-ease/not at ease) but noone starts out with this. What the author of this has said is absolutely true. We start out with negative thoughts and they then TRIGGER negative chemicals in our brains- which then leads to an imbalance of chemicals. This obviously makes us feel depressed and have more negative thoughts which triggers more negative chemicals and the imbalance and feeling of depression increases into a state of hopelessness where we end up saying “I am depressed and nothing can help me” The problem with applying drugs to this creates a dependence on the drugs which carries with it anxiety lest the drug not be available, and in some cases shame that we have become dependent. It also ofcourse means there will be times of withdrawal from the drug and more negative thoughts and feelings will surge into the person, bringing of course more depression and more imbalance of chemicals and then a need to take a higher dose of anti-depressants – and round and round this vicious circle will go. As the author pointed out however is that our own brains have the capacity to produce ‘good chemicals’ and produce a balance in our heads- and this happens when we have positive thoughts.
            I suffered severe depression for ten years ( and I was a heavy-drinker too and suffered a lot of shame for all of this as well).. but when i became a christian ( I was prayed for at the height of the pain and fear after ten years) a certain repeated problem I had had for the last ten years stopped OVERNIGHT- it was so dramatic that I realised there must be a God. I was instantly changed and MOST of the depression left pretty well overnight…… HOWEVER, and this is important, humans beings are so capable of slipping back- and so was I!! A few years into my now very happy life something happened and i slipped back into feeling a bit sorry for myself but I heard a speaker come and say that as christians we had ”no right” to feel sorry for ourselves. That got my attention- I HONESTLY thought I had a ‘right’to feel sorry for myself— but apparently not!! This guy was saying that as God had rescued and healed us and given all we needed for today ( note- not tomorrow, but just today!) that we should be grateful for our God who provides for the day we are here. He said ( literally!) çount your blessings- from that day on prayed and told the Lord that I refused to feel sorry for myself. Instead my thoughts were focussed on what is good in the world. God loves us all and has given us the mechanism to have ‘balanced chemicals’in our heads- good, positive, loving and happy thoughts! This is God’s gift to us!
            Its true, we are in a battle and there is plenty pf evil on this planet– but God is looking at our hearts and helping us when we turn to Him or turn to what is good. We do not need to STAY down ( yes, we all fall occasionally, but we can get up again! ) – God has put many good things and people on this planet… be of good cheer I have overcome the world! – that is what Jesus told us. Today you have HOPE- Jesus is real and died to pay the price of our sin by dying IN OUR PLACE- so we do not need to be separated anymore from God because of our sin ( wrongdoing/wrong thinking) ……Before you get up and before you go to sleep Force yourself to think of TEN things that are good and that you can be thankful for ( IVE done it to a HUNDRED!) – like I can see, hear, I have hair, I can move, someone loves me, someone is helping out of their love little animals who are hurt- for every negative their is a positive. If you keep at ths you wil eventually feel a little ping of happiness- if only for a mili-second…. Please, do NOT hold onto this depression- let go, because this is not what od created you for. Share your feelings with someone and share some good positive thoughts with yourself and others- and then get up and Thank God for this day which is given to you. God bless and do not worry because God truely loves you x x x

          • Lauren April 7, 2014 at 3:54 AM

            I agree with this article to some degree. But as Emma says- I agree with her completely. Depression is something complicated and beyond measure. There are so many reasons why someone could be depressed. They don’t have to make sense to you. You don’t have to complain about people’s problems. The fact that you complain about someone else’s problems and calling them selfish. Makes you look retarded.

            I do hate how some depressants whine so much about their problems. But myself as a depressant dont do that. I won’t accept it.

            And you are wrong. It is not all about US. Its about YOU. The public causes us to drive ourselves crazy to strive to fit in. To strive to be happy and perfect. Everyone has problems. I know that. We do have to suck it and live it. There are obstacles in life.

            But if someone is depressed and are hurting themselves. They are depressed. That is what it is. Don’t complain about it just because you are too fucking twisted to understand.

          • Toma April 7, 2014 at 2:05 PM

            And here we see one of the biggest problems we face as a society today. Everything is everyone else’s fault. When good shit happens, ‘I’ did it. When bad shit happens, ‘YOU’ did it.

            While I generally steer away from self-help-style books, I’ve started reading ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. It does a good job addressing this phenomenon early on. We need to stop pointing the finger. Change and improvement come from within.

            But you are correct in one sense. Society is driving us to be a certain why, and conforming to that way is causing us a lot of grief, only because how it is telling us to behave goes against every spiritual instinct that we have. We need truth now more than ever. The truth is that depression is caused by our own ego, nothing more.

          • northraccoon April 10, 2014 at 6:37 AM

            I agree Emma. I have clinical depression. I’ve actually had tests done and it was found out that my gland system just does not release enough serotonin for me to function in a “non-depressive” state on its own. I will need my antidepressants for the rest of my life. My psychiatrist has told me that this is a real illness, and I don’t have anything wrong with my outlook on my life – only with my happy hormone levels and that will never change. Every time I go in to see him, we talk about the things that have happened in my months. I tell him if I’ve had a bad experience but I also understand that it is a temporary experience. Without the meds, it’s literally that I *can’t* feel “normal.”

            I wish more people would understand this about mood and mental illnesses and disorders. They are quite different than “I’m so depressed, my crush told me he has no interest” or whatever.

          • Blaise April 17, 2014 at 2:06 PM

            I completely agree with Emma! Depression is NOT just like, “I’m sad because I don’t have this.” You have to see the bigger picture! To the author, the fact that you wrote this article proves you have never fought depression. Also, about the quote at the begginning, maybe some people stay in “prison” when the door is wide open because to them, the prison is a maze and they can’t find their way to the end where the wide open door is!

          • Eli April 19, 2014 at 9:25 AM

            It’s all in your head… You probably live in the United States, or similar, have food on your table and a roof over your head, and much more if you have access to a computer. You write well, so education is there. I wonder what you could possibly be depressed about. And just like the author of this article stated, all I could hear on your post was “I,I,I” Just get up and do something in life. There are countless activites to keep your mind busy rather than dwelling on a tiny thing. Life is life, deal with it!

            I do sympathize with the family and friends that have to deal with your “problem”. Probably bring them down while you are at it !

          • Pollen April 22, 2014 at 6:07 AM

            I agree with Emma and I partially agree with Toma. I think it is both. Some people have imbalances and that is just the way it is. Some people cause them with their thoughts. Those are the people who are only ever depressed once in their life and get over it. I think that even if you have an imbalance you also have to work on your thought process but it isn’t always possible without medication and mental heath help. Then there is the chronically depressed. The ones born that way. I am one of those. My mom swears it started as a baby, I couldn’t sleep I was picky with food, I was basically miserable and cried all the time. I NEVER had a good night sleep my entire life until medication and therapy and even then I still have a hard time. I always feel like shit. Always sad. I can ignore it for a time but it’s always there under the surface ready to come out at any moment. Oh and it isn’t even always about me! Holy shit Toma not all the depressed people are entirely selfish! Actually it’s often not about me. I get depressed because of the terrible things going on the world. I find it hard not to see all the bad everywhere in the world. I find it extremely hard to see any good. And believe me I try! The things I once loved to do can suddenly bring me no joy at all. Then there are the times I see the food I have to eat and I cry because there are people who are starving in the world. I read a newspaper or watch the news and hear about stuff like the Sandy Hook shooting and I am inconsolable for days. It isn’t all about me and to think that depression is just someone being selfish and having a pity party is pretty closed minded. Just because you haven’t experienced chronic long term depression doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Can completely changing the way you think stop someone from being depressed? Depends on the depression. For me it appears to take both medication and CBT/DBT, which by the way are both therapies to change the way you think. You know that mental health stuff that the doctors do that is apparently a bunch of horse shit. Oh yeah! Not all shrinks just let you bitch for hours on end they actually do make you look at situations differently and try to teach you how to think in more positive way. I guess Toma would have known that if he was actually knowledgeable on the subject but hey everyone is entitled to their opinion right?

          • lucyc May 1, 2014 at 9:30 AM

            THANK YOU. This guy’s article is utter bullshit.

          • George fish May 30, 2014 at 7:43 AM

            I agree with Emma, depression is actually medically identifiable, caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain

          • Kegan June 7, 2014 at 7:05 AM

            I agree with you, Emma. I’ve have chronic depression and I guarantee you tom, nobody would genuinely want it. I was a fucking wreck and despite having good friends, interesting classes, and a supportive family I went absolutely insane I broke down crying over the smallest thing. The only thing that have helped have been counseling and meds. Chronic depression is an illness and it needs professional help. The most valid thing this page could be applied to is situational depression, which can be legitimately helped by positive thinking. To those who don’t understand the difference situational is like “my dog died, now I’m sad”, chronic is like “I’m sleeping way to much and crying at the most insignificant things. Stuff that used to make me happy doesn’t. And most importantly, there is NO trigger “. That’s the worst aspect with actual chronic depression, it’s very hard, near impossible, to ever feel happy even if you’re doing your favorite hobby or activity. So please stop confusing the two, they’re not the same and its very offensive to mix them up. Telling a chronically depressed person to stop being depressed is like telling a flu patient to stop being sick. And I know a lot of you are bringing up the placebo effect, and yes this is valid. A lot of research has been put into it and shown that it can be helpful. But depression cuts off the ability to be happy rendering it’s discussion on this page oddly miscellaneous. Furthermore its been shown to be an actual function that can be, interestingly enough, impaired by alzheimer’s. So you can be the happiest alzheimers patient you want and still not be aided by its effect. Its a biological function, not a magical cure.

            Those are my two cents,

          • J June 19, 2014 at 8:33 PM

            Oh Emma I totally agree! Thank you for your response to this ignorant person. I have never been so annoyed at reading such nonsense. I have not read further than your comment or his follow up to his article. I will when I calm down. His ignorance angered me to the core, probably because it is so widespread, many believe like he does.

            Your response is in line with what I would have said. When will people finally accept that depression IS an illness. We are not talking about feeling unhappy for a few days….YOU cannot just snap out of it!

          • Chandler July 22, 2014 at 11:48 PM

            thank you!

          • G. April 1, 2015 at 5:43 AM

            Sending prayers to you and everyone else suffering with depression, a true illness which effects millions of people, everywhere. <3

          • Tom H April 13, 2015 at 12:36 PM

            Thanks Emma. Nailed it…

          • katek May 12, 2015 at 3:18 PM

            Agreed! This article is bs and clearly written by someone who has never experienced true clinical depression. What’s selfish is to assume you understand a disease that you clearly do not. And then to further purpetuate stigma and myth with your uneducated open.
            If you are sad, you perhaps can will happiness. If you are clinically depressed you can put on a freaking parade, but still feel like the longest saddest person there. There is a huge difference. Depression is an illness!

          • Vera Ostrova May 30, 2015 at 11:24 PM

            Very good response, Emma! You managed to stay calm and yet got your point across. Depression is very difficult and we are actually the ones who are brave. Lazy or selfish are not the words to describe a person who is fighting daily for their life.

          • Vera Ostrova May 30, 2015 at 11:47 PM

            These two guys over here who are overusing caps lock for some reason, have you ever heard of projection in psychology?
            “Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude.”
            For some reason you are agitated with people who are depressed and have time and energy to show how not valid it is and call for responsibility. Maybe it is because there are certain qualities in your selves that you don’t accept, that resemble depression such as lack of motivation or success in your own life.
            I am someone who fight bi-polar depression. And at times I don’t want to believe that I have it myself. People are never able to tell that I struggle with it because I learned to hide it and push myself. I at times in my life achieved some success that many people admire me for. I am someone who is the opposite of lazy and selfish. Do you think that when I get my momentum going and I have a new job or a project in place I have been happily working on, it is selfishness or laziness that flashes all that down the toilet only to leave a new job because I am debilitated with depression and can’t get out of bed? Do you think it is because I lack ambition? I am an immigrant, I moved to US at 19 with $20 and have already done so much and changed many people’s lives. I study meditation, hypnosis and any self help modality I can get my hands on. When depression hits me – none of that helps. It all becomes a distant memory. All you have in your head is dark simple thoughts – “I don’t want to live in this pain”
            You go for walks do yoga, see friends, work, watch a good movie. And yet it’s still there “I don’t want to live”
            NOt to say that over many years of HARD WORK I have adapted and became better at living with it. But when I see how much time is spent simply “pushing myself so I can eat, exercise and do simplest things” while my friends are already having fulfilling careers, children – it can be very devastating and yes, sad. To know you are doing your best, you work harder on yourself than most of the people, yet you’re still driving that old piece of shit of a car and work service jobs because you can’t work in one place for more than 3 months. And no one ever promotes you because of your “emotional instability”.
            I see that people like you can never be psychologists or counselors because you are not understanding. You are the ones who are taking the easy way out and just into judgement without really trying to understand and being compassionate. The pain is pain and it is real weather it’s in your mind or not. Everything is psychosomatic. This Universe is vibrational. A mother who loses her child experiences sadness psychosomatically, but it is real to her. Depression is real. It is very real. And if we had more healthy people actually support people with this debilitating illness instead of shaming them, the world definitely would be a better place and there would be less than 1 million suicides in the world per year. Because loneliness is what we feel the most when we are depressed.

          • Celeste June 25, 2015 at 8:25 AM

            I don’t normally comment on the internet but this sparked my interest. As much as I appreciate a different perspective, this rationale is oversimplified in response to a very complex dilemma. If someone was given a choice, to be depressed or not, they would choose NO. While I agree that efforts toward positive thinking can reverse the pain, and agree that our mental state is a byproduct of our thoughts, if it was this easy people would DO it. Those who are depressed are caught up in a cycle which literally alters the chemical balance of their brain, and it’s ignorant to discount this chemical imbalance in relation to efforts toward “positive thinking.” While I feel people are over diagnosed and overmedicated, we must treat this imbalance as a physical problem, along with a cognitive one. It’s both. That’s why, to date, studies show that medication, along with CBT is the most effective combination when treating the illness. There are so many factors at play that have absolutely nothing to with personal will or “strength.” An otherwise completely “healthy” person could fall into a dark cycle of depression due to overwhelming external factors. While some people are biologically predisposed, ANYONE could essentially become depressed given certain circumstantial factors. Rationalizing that depressed people are just “selfish” is apathetic, ignorant, and simple-minded. Do your research before making such a wide claim about people that are suffering.

          • Toma June 25, 2015 at 8:32 AM

            I’ve said it before, and I will say it again – even if I hadn’t researched depression when I wrote this (I had), by now I would know more than enough to solidify an opinion. I stand by the post and everything in it.

            To say people would not choose depression if asked, is akin to saying smokers would not choose cancer if asked. The true choice comes at a higher level. Choose not to smoke. Choose not to live life trapped within your own mind.

          • isis56 July 5, 2015 at 4:35 PM

            Depression can be very dangerous also, Most off my husbands life he was not able to sit and appreciate the cool breeze under a tree. after being deployed under water for most the first 3 and a half years of our marriage, hen coming home to a very hostile angry group mad he did not stay in the military but came home and reclaimed his job off a military leave. After 956 days under waster in 3 and a half years my husband came home tired, seasick, after being on a moving deck so long his inner ear could not adjust to a solid footing, Then he comes home and wants just simple things like a day off, not to have to work 12 hours a day, have a vacation. Use the knowledge he gained as a nuclear weapons computer control tech.
            I was told by his father and his friends the week before my husband came home he was planning to use his accumulated seniority to take what he wanted at work, He left with 3 years before his time was to be laid off. Under his UAW contract he was coming back with over 8 years seniority which was more than 60 percent of the 7000 person workforce in the area, I was on drugs like melarile. thorazine, and others I really don’t remember control my bi polar, schizo effective disorder that manifested while my husband was deployed. His father and his friends came to me after my husbands mother went to work , I can remember it was the week before memorial day 1985, His father and many others male and female bombarded me with statements like did I think it fair my husband should be able to come home and take the job, shift, holidays, weekends and vacation slots he wanted and disrupt everyone life that stayed through the hard times.
            They told me that just for a little while they needed to have some form of control on my husband, His father said can we count on you for this, I was confused at that time, I don’t know if it was the drugs, or my upbringing that got me to agree to this but My husband came home, and I promised him if he could cooperate just for a while and not use his seniority then I could allow sex in our marriage, The little while turned into 2009 from 1985. my husband only had 6 days off and was forced into work by armed intimidation by his father and others, and it became bad in November of 2001 after a brain surgery to remove a tumor off the top of his brain stem got him the only six days he was not at work, He decided that he wanted me to drop dead since the state wanted so much for a divorce even working as much as he was he would be lucky to live in a cardboard box. This was 16 years after his return home, When he decided that his cooperation with everyone was at an end, started with his taking a new job in a new plant and using the fact he had more seniority than the son of his fathers best friend, He had 15 years more than the other man, One problem was his fathers best friend was a county commissioner, and he expected his position in the county would give his son the job he wanted, I promised my husband if he just stayed where he was at then I would consider making our marital bed normal. I would even not interfere if he decided he was taking a few holidays and weekends off, I said I would show him the greatest sex he would ever have, He looked at me and said he did not even remember what sex was like, he said he was glad the affairs I had over the last 16 years taught me so much, and told me to drop dead, That night his father and his friend sent the commissioners son and three of his friends to teach my husband his place was to shut up and do as he was told, I dead bolted my husband out of the house that morning, hurt he would tell me to drop dead after my offer, I saw him try to come in and he started banging on the door, then four men followed him up on our porch and were basically telling him he had to remove his name or get badly hurt, I saw them attack my husband, I then saw what he could do with the training in combat arts he had in bot the army and navy. He destroyed these four young men. all still have major medical problems from that night. I was left laying underneath the kicked in front door with the words the next time I tried getting him hurt I would be dead.
            I have never tried this again and his father and other started using armed intimidation, until my husband in 2009 let himself get so depressed over his life MRSA developed in his spine after depression compromised his immune system, leaving him without feeling in his legs. A three year rehab learning to walk, as well as the other problems MRSA caused like Cdiff, three strokes, one heart surgery to repair damage from MRSA, and when he came home he was determined he was going to decide his life from then on. Not me. not his father, not the society, but he was going to rule in his home now, it started out with his demand I clean the house, get rid of the botels I collected When I refused he smashed every on of them in the trash. I had told a old boy friend that found me on Facebook six weeks before that our affair had to end because my husband was coming home in a few weeks. after my husbands anger about the bottles especially, Me again refusing sex, I was getting nothing but my husbands anger along with his father even being chase out of our house when he wanted to discuse what we were going to allow my husband in stages now. My husband told his father to get out he was never interfering in his life again and the fight was horrible, we tried to point out the things he sacrificed in his life made him the better man, he just spit at us it made him a slave.
            My AP called the day after that argument and asked to talk. I needed someone who was not so angry and contrary. so I gave my husband a dose of tarazidione thinking he would sleep through the next day and cut out early the next morning to spend the day with my AP. I showed up the next morning . My husband trapped us and I asked to take what was coming off the street, y husband agreed, cleared the drive and hurt, sad, and in more pain followed use in, In occupational therapy he had made a cane that he shaped into a dragon, Titainium fangs crystal eyes and it is 4 feet tall so he would not have to try bending.
            My ap thought my husband needed some humiliation to break the tension and swept his cane putting my husband face first on the floor. When he got himself sat up on the side of the coffee table there was nothing but an inhuman look like he was carved from stone, That cane flew across the living room fracturing my APs scull, My husband then furniture serfed his way over to him with me begging my husband not to do more damage and please call an ambulance. My husband just dropped down beside him and every time my AP tried sitting up. my husband would slam his fist into him yelling who is pathetic now, That’s what he called my husband when he hit the floor.
            My husband ended that day in a stress center and the other man in a ICU, latter he lost his family. his position and his home because of our affair. We were called into the center were they were keeping my husband pretty much sedated. But his therapy doctor came to a table and sat down. He asked his father and me why we had abused my husband.
            When he came home the next week it was not the homecoming any one wanted, I was going to a political fund raiser with his fathers best friend It was totally an innocent favor to his father and his friend, but my husband came home and told me I was not going to wear the new outfit I had bought for another man. Told me I owed 31 years of life and it was due that evening.
            I started begging in earnest. I said please you can pick the place we can meet after the event and I will get in touch with everyone that needs a say, and we will sit until everyone is satisfied with how we could get him into a life that he wants now he was crippled, and everyone could get some say now, here was only his say that evening, my husband raped me, threw me the phone and told me go ahead and call the authorities, his fathers friend slammed face first into the driveway, My mother in law just about tore my head off then again a little later with my husbands father, and since every time there was an interference attempted people have been badly hurt. The last time was his father telling my husband he was not invited on the trip I was invited on and he did not have the right to invite himself. His father was going to beat him into going home with a baseball bat. Instead my husband broke his fathers neck and nobody went.
            I never thought that resentment over a life that was forced to be either at work, or in a medical facility could turn so poisiioned,
            I have a 17 month old son now. We have moved 1200 miles west to where my husband was originally from and the poison now reaches for our son, The hatred for my husbands declaration he was not living under the rules set by others, only by law. This weekend has seen his fathers friends try and take custody of him, The last time his fathers best friend showed up with a child protective order from the state we left. They did not go through the proper channels crossing state lines, Our son has never been in that state. my husband wont let him until he is old enough to make his own decisions,
            My husband told them to leave or die yesterday with a 30 30 in his hand, They said they will be back, and I have talked to several officers both federal and local. My husband talked to them to and he told them if they chose to take him into custody he would go peacefully.
            I don’t know what’s going to happen. I did not even think I could get pregnant when I did but in this instance I agree with my husband we can’t let his fathers friends take our son. Tomorrow my husband expects a return in the after noon, I have a feeling they will see only prarie our truck and car parked and our horses gone as well as us. I think we will be on the trail for at least nine hours, and I know they wont find us..

          • Isobel August 11, 2015 at 11:18 PM

            This is a very harsh article that I do not feel applies to the majority of who claim depression. Yes there are people who misuse the word and that is not real depression. But by saying there is no such this as depression is saying we are liars and that people who do not deal with it are bette people. This is belittling and false. It is obvious you yourself have never REALLY dealt with it. It is a black cloud in the very soul. It is a struggle everyday to feel that. It is way more complicated than you can claim to understand from the outside. Heck it’s hard to understand from the inside. I’m incredibly saddened to see this article and its supporters. If you wish to help which I think is your motive, than do not belittle and shame people, validate them and accept that you do not have to say a word…

          • Kathy August 13, 2015 at 2:02 AM

            Hey Juan…if you’ve seen it from our point of view then you’d know that depression is real and not selfish. Your comments show that you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re just an ignorant piece of crap!

          • Rachel September 3, 2015 at 11:14 PM

            I totally agree Emma. I am only 21 and I have Depression, but I’ve suffered with anxiety since an extremely young age.. I hate when people mention the fact it isn’t an illness because you can’t see it, it’s so so silly and frustrating. Who is anyone to make such statements? Especially when they haven’t suffered from it themselves.

          • Light Yagami September 7, 2015 at 4:36 AM

            I cannot disagree with you, Emma. I’ve heard depression being compared to a dead fish. Whereas you constantly try to tell those around you that the fish is dead, they keep offering to look for your fish.

            In this particular case, I would believe that the writer is mixing up sadness and depression, or perhaps misinterpreting depression. Depression is less so a wish for something, and so much moreso a feeling of weight on your shoulders. It’s not that you want the weight removed, or that you can’t move and live with it, it’s that you’ve given up hope of removing it. It’s not that it dominates your mind, it’s not some light in front of your eyes – more like a heavy, wet blanket over your shoulders.

            To reply to the writer’s statement about positivity, I’m calling bull. Once again, one can be completely unhappy, and not be depressed at all. One can be depressed, and yet still be “happy”, if they try to be. Once again, it’s not so simple as a trinket. Positivity is like being naive. You think everything’s sunshine and roses, until you get tossed down a cliff, from where you wake up.

            “It is easy to lecture about carrying crosses, but hard to carry one yourself. Bear my cross before you lecture me.” ~ Anonymous

            “Fires are not warmed by faith.” ~ Anonymous

          • Chris October 6, 2015 at 2:57 AM

            I have depression but what makes me even more ticked off is seeing many ignorant people like Alyssa. They think people with
            depression are just making up BS just to self pity themselves. You know what, anyone out there that thinks depression is a hoax I want you to answer this question.

            If today, all your problems that you ever had was solved like that and you still can’t find it in you to get up out of bed in the morning. Is that considered depression or is it just a cold case of ‘Im a failure’

            Many people like me would crush you in real life if you ever said ‘depression is just being selfish.

        • Reply MB September 24, 2013 at 3:32 AM


          • Toma September 28, 2013 at 8:16 AM

            NO. BUT I HAVE MULTIPLE IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO HAVE, AND I DON’T TELL THEIR STORIES OUT OF RESPECT FOR THEIR PRIVACY. IF YOU ASK ANY DOCTOR THEY WILL GIVE YOU SOME SCIENTIFIC BS ABOUT HOW I AM HIGHLY PRONE TO IT. YET HERE I AM, DEPRESSION-FREE FOR A LIFETIME. One day I will tell their stories, but not now. For now all I will say is that in my family I am by far the most balanced, and by far the most spiritual.

          • Kim September 30, 2013 at 7:24 PM

            Sorry I replied here. I didn’t see where else to comment. This article is making me feel even more depressed, and I am even crying right now out of frustration. I’ve been depressed since childhood, and I am far from selfish. I have always been a very giving person. In the past I’ve spent all my money and a lot of my time on people who definitely did not deserve it. I’ve helped people for free, given people my stuff just because they said they liked or wanted it, worked for free, given expensive gifts, done nice things and went out of my way for people and given all I had when there was nothing left for me, expecting and getting nothing in return. This article is making me think it was all definitely unappreciated, and is making me not want to deal with people any more if this is what they think of me. In fact I haven’t left the house in over a week since I read this. Why should I even be seen by people who automatically judge me as selfish when I’m not? I’d rather nobody know I exist.

          • Me October 2, 2013 at 2:22 PM

            Sorry Kim. I’m with you. This guy is off base. It has nothing to do with “I didn’t accomplish this” like he ignorantly suggests. Everything in your life can be perfect and you may be depressed. He clearly hasn’t been depressed in his lifetime. Otherwise he’d know how miserably wrong he is. Absurd article.

          • Person October 15, 2013 at 7:29 AM

            I totally agree. This article is massively insensitive. Dont you realize that people who are ACTUALLY depressed (Not just sad because they didn’t accomplish something as this guy describes) are depressed in part because they think extremely negatively of themselves? We don’t need you reinforcing those negative thoughts,

            You also seem to be unable to draw the line between greed and basic human needs. I admit, the reason why I am depressed is because of the fact that everyone thinks I’m some creepy and wierd just because I have always been the quiet otaku type, and they always have for as long as I can remember (dating back to pre-school I was always “that” kid). I am severely depressed about it because I have no friends to speak of, and the severe social anxiety that I have developed as a result of everyone hating me for no good reason makes it so difficult to connect with people that it often seems hopeless. I can honestly say that I hate my social anxiety. I hate my depression. I wish I could just have one person who understands me, and I would give anything to someone offering me that without question.

            But instead myself and others like me are constantly bombarded by even more hate messages from people like you, Toma. Is it really too much to ask to have just one person who understands you? Its a basic human need. To say that someone is selfish for needing human contact in place of a void of loneliness is like telling a man dying of thirst that he is selfish for asking for water. So fuck you. People like you are the reason I go to therapy.

          • Golda Velez November 2, 2013 at 5:56 AM

            Hey Person – Try writing – its a way of expressing your thoughts to the world and someone somewhere may find and read them and say ‘aha – that is me too!’
            I don’t think you sound weird, I think a lot of people feel the same way. Try talking to people online, like at or some other fun networking place, its sometimes easier than in person.

          • Toma October 2, 2013 at 11:00 PM

            Hi Kim. You remind me of a family member of mine. They are the most generous person you will ever meet. I can call them at 3am and they will come without a second thought. They will give you their heart and their life and never think twice about it. Yet, they suffer from depression. If selfishness is the cause, how is this possible? Didn’t I just prove myself wrong?

            Everyone needs to stop thinking of selfishness as having a corrupt and self-centred heart. Self-centerdness is the mind thinking that the world revolves around it. This family member, as truly warm-hearted as they are, still has a perspective which places them at the centre. When they do what you are doing their suffering is born of not being the centre. Your reference to being unappreciated strikes me as an example of it.

          • JD113 October 3, 2013 at 4:13 AM

            Everyone is selfish, depressed or not. You can’t single out depression and say that all are selfish. What about you? You have to have some sort of motivation to go on and do things in your everyday life. You tell yourself good positive things to get you going. You think about what you’re doing today, what you’re going to eat, how you’re getting to work. You’re basically thinking of yourself all day. “Centering” yourself. You don’t think about some other person all day do you? You have a biased ‘opinion’ about depression when in reality, its so much more broad than that. Everyone is different. No one person was made the same.

          • Person October 15, 2013 at 8:52 AM

            And you need to know that if you leave this article up, dozens of people who really ARE depressed (Not just sad over this that or the other as you claim) will probably read this article and kill themselves because they just cant bear the pain of people like you telling them that they suck on top of all of the hate they already give themselves. Sure, I would totally agree with you that suicide is the most selfish act imaginable, but it does not justify you giving them that last push over the edge that they needed. Remove this article before you become a murderer (if you havent already) and THINK next time before insulting people who the last thing they need is to be insulted.

          • Grace October 24, 2013 at 2:31 PM

            I have heard that the greatest artists and writers go through deep depression. It is not always a bad thing you know. It takes all kinds. I get depressed quite often. I agree depressed people are selfish as well as happy people. We are all selfish. How many of us can say We love our neighbor as ourselves. If we did we would have to give our neighbour everything we give ourselves. But we can’t of course. Because depressed or not we are selfish. There was only one person who was not. We all know who he was and is.

          • Ed November 19, 2013 at 10:04 AM

            You are an idiot, depression isn’t some pleasant experience that one goes through for some inspiration. Depression is a period of darkness where it seems like the afflicted is drowning a vortex of negative black smoke. You physically feel pain and weight pressing down on you at all times, the selfishness is the only way you can interpret such a dark event. Depressed people generally show how unselfish they are from refraining to commit suicide. This article seems like more of a conspiracy than a well thought out educated paper. We might as well assume that the twin towers tragedy was orchestrated by the government as well. It’s ridiculous/

          • Newzbug November 20, 2013 at 4:02 AM

            In response to: You are an idiot, depression isn’t some pleasant experience that one goes through for some inspiration. Depression is a period of darkness where it seems like the afflicted is drowning a vortex of negative black smoke. You physically feel pain and weight pressing down on you at all times, the selfishness is the only way you can interpret such a dark event. Depressed people generally show how unselfish they are from refraining to commit suicide. This article seems like more of a conspiracy than a well thought out educated paper. We might as well assume that the twin towers tragedy was orchestrated by the government as well. It’s ridiculous

            “I am well aware of depression not being a pleasant experience. However there has been shown to be a direct link between depressive illnesses and creativity. I know the depth of the pain. I have felt it more times than I can count. And it has nearly killed me on more than one time. It runs in my family : father, mother, sister, grandmother … I have lost family members to depression. So don’t insult me. If you misunderstood my meaning. I apologize … but I try to be an advocate for depressive help.

          • Johnny October 25, 2013 at 8:55 PM

            Okay now…WHO’S trolling people who are depressed?? I’ve fortunately road out those horribly bad times by getting out of the house and hanging around people who are simply…better people. I don’t know why, it just worked. Please people…don’t make extremely obvious suggestions, we need support, not protection. Thanks~

          • Name Here November 14, 2013 at 9:43 AM

            I have been depressed before and can say, it depends on the person, I cant speak for everyone. my mother never knew i was depressed and I never acted like it around her or anybody, because I didn’t want people’s sympathy or sadness for me. Maybe selfish isn’t the right word, but I do understand what you, Toma, mean when you say “Self-centerness is the mind thinking that the world revolves around it”.

            I learn how to not be depressed just by listening to my mom talk about “The Spirit of God is around you and only you can control your thinking and actions in life”. It took me awhile but I understand now what she meant. only I can change my outcome, how I feel, no one can tell me what I can and cannot do, only I can. I am one of the most happiest people you will ever meet my friends say so too, and that’s because I don’t think about the bad or ponder on the darkness creeping up in my mind.

            One of my secrets is friends, sharing what i feel, and them helping me to be positive. Get other people into your problem let them help, God made people so they can be together, we are one. If that wasn’t true then what is the purpose of making Eve for Adam?

          • Washington Irving January 2, 2014 at 5:07 PM

            If you have never been clinically depressed, you just don’t get it. You may accept it. You may have valid opinions about it based on your experiences with those who have had it and do get it. Some things, only another sufferer understands. That’s okay. But never assume it’s just a matter of changing perspective. That can help. A lot. But it is not a simple solution. Honor the complexity of the human experience.

          • fiona March 24, 2014 at 11:58 PM

            self-absorbtion or ”naval-gazing” is more acurate than ”selfish” because so often depressed people are NOT selfish! But its the tendency to get caught or trapped even though they may not have started off that way, that is the problem….they end up entangled in thoughts and fears that they just can’t get away from. Thats why LEARNING to get away from these thoughts is helpful… Its not super-easy… but it can be done. Someone in physical pain IS in physical pain but they do not need to be mentally depressed by it also. Thats because they can learn to put their thoughts in other areas. We live in a world that at times APPEARS to have very little meaning or love and as a result a lot of people think their lives have no real meaning- well, THAT is enough to depress anyone!!! Thats why addressing real issues of why we are here and finding our purpose and how we fit in is really important in our recovery from depression and a sense of meaninglessness.
            I was severely depressed for ten years and even studied philosophy at university to find a way out of of my mounting problems and depression… I suffered so badly I thought of death nearly every day and didnt want to get out of bed. Speaking to people was a real task and sometimes I couldn’t speak for up to 3 days at a time. … it was VERY SEVERE!. I can tell you however that when I became a christian after ten years of this my life did a very radical U bend that completely changed how I felt and saw things. I can tell you ll that Jesus is real, He can help every single person who calls out to Him for help. Ive seen literally countless people be radically changed by Him. There is a reason we are here and have to go through certain trials- but hear this- it will NOT be forever!! …Seek the truth and you WIILL understand why we are going through our personal trial. Even if its been going on for years… God will still meet you and help you. Jesus came INTO our messed up, pain-filled world to help us to find a way OUT of the empty meaningless lives we lead. He came to show us that our lives matter and count and that God is watching us and will help us.

            I was set free of this awful depression 18 years ago an for that I am truly thankful…..can I encourage people to read one of the gospels, either Mathew, Mark, Luke or John and to really use this experience of feeling depressed as a catalyst to help you seek some real and much deeper answers. God loves us but He didn’t promise us roses- He promised truth and love -( and, yes, joy!)- but not without a time of sorrow…Jesus Himself was rejected and abused and went through many pains and sorrows- but He also came through. Jesus told us, “take up your cross and follow me’- perhaps with the depth of depression you have known you are better qualified to understand the things the Lord was speaking about…. Do not give up in your search but be encouraged that you have been honest and brave so far… and it is not time to give up, but to search deeper and be honest enough to seek the truth of why we are here. … God Bless you x x

          • GuiltyAsCharged October 12, 2013 at 12:37 PM

            So what i hear you saying is that you people please to the point it hurts your and puts you into a state of depression? Then you would be agreeing with his statement? The key is to pay attention to what you say or how you answer the question. You may be giving away the true answer to your simple problem. Depression is made up thought or a lie we believe. the longer we dwell on that thought the deeper we fall. Think of it this way. You make a bad choice. The next time its easier to make. soo on down the line Building up till you don’t even make the choice its just a habit or a pattern of agreement that you fail inline with… So applying that to the depression topic. I would say that if you dwell on the problem it comes bigger than life. Hints the lack of wanting to deal with people. But if you think that of people you sure will bring it out of them… Pre judgement isn’t our place either. Maybe its time for a mindset change and a new perspective. You will only be depressed as long as you allow it.

          • Kylie December 1, 2013 at 1:02 PM

            Um no. The other people on here share their experiences of being selfless to illustrate depressed people are not always selfish. As for me, I am a very selfish person, but my depression did not cause my selfishness or vice versa. Depression is a medical illness, and everyone diagnosed has a different personality. While some personality types are prone to depression it does not it is the cause. Also, type a personalities are more to prone heart attack. Does that mean that the heart attack was made up?

          • gopal December 10, 2013 at 10:13 PM

            I came across this post because I’m seriously pissed off with depressed people… sorry even if it is genuine it is just so hard to take seriously!

            What the author says here may not be scientific but I can relate to it with all the depressed people I know. All of them are damn selfish.

            Selfishness doesn’t mean not being a nice person … It means serving the comfort of your emotions before what needs to be done, I.e. thinking with your gut when you know your brain is telling you to do the right thing.

            Every depressed person I’ve met has no backbone on the important things… This is selfishness. Knowing what the right thing is and running away from it.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 12:08 PM

            haha and how many depressed people have you met gopal? more than a million i’d assume after reading ur oh so confident comment!

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 12:01 PM

            kim! not all people are like this okay? u be strong! i understand u and as do many other people i’m sure!…i too am not selfish and no other person can get me into thinking that i am! do things if they make u happy but dont expect anything in return cause thats how the world works!

          • hockey1 October 5, 2013 at 9:27 AM

            IT has nothing to do with being spiritual. It has everything to do with if you Toma want to be remembered as a Dip Fuck or not. Remove article or I will find you and finish you off.!

          • Name Here November 14, 2013 at 9:48 AM

            hockey1- Why are you being a meany-meany butt face, that’s not nice at all. and there is this thing called freedom of speech, soo technically he can post what ever he wants. oh right and ANYTHING you say or DO, WILL be used in the court of law. so that means if you do anything there is evidence to support that you threaten Mr. Haiku and can be prosecuted. thank you and have a nice day.

          • Bex October 8, 2013 at 7:09 AM

            I feel like my IQ dropped a few points reading this. Also, unless you’re about 70-80 years old, it hasn’t been a lifetime ‘depression free’. There’s every chance you can still suffer from it. Which could be a big-ass surprise if you think it’s anything like this…Also, while they haven’t worked out root causes, depression can be an imbalance in serotonin and dopamine. The latter controls the wee rush you get doing something like exercising, playing guitar, basically anything that is ‘rewarding’ to a human. Without it, the world seems lifeless and gray. It is that cut and dry. I don’t why you don’t know something that basic if you choose to write about this.

          • Yournameiswild October 9, 2013 at 1:09 AM

            I agree. This article was poorly conceived; the concept of depression (a highly studied area in psychology) as nothing but an existential flaw is pretty immature.

            Judging from the author’s comments, the main thrust of the article has been emotionally influenced by the members of his own family who have a history of depression.

            Toma’s reports of his family – and the conjured ‘Western Businessman’ – displaying “self-centred” traits is anecdotal, and nothing we read here has any grounding in reality.

          • Shiry October 10, 2013 at 1:07 AM

            Amen to that! The author clearly has some personal issues with depression in his family and has been greatly impacted by this. This seems to be his basis for denial of anything but a religious approach. It is sad that his family has jaded him so, but he needs to accept that not all depressed people are represented by those in his own family. Unfortunately, if he ventures to do this, his own world becomes shaky because everything he believes in must be questioned in terms of depression having one treatment plan. It is a very risky thing for him to do. To open his mind and actually research other cases and evidence and treatments and possibilities. So he remains safe win his womb. It is understandable but sad. To each his own, right?

            His opinion is merely an opinion. A biased one at that. With age and growth he might start to open up to other possibilities. It took aging and years for me to do it and it is possible!

          • Toma October 10, 2013 at 6:37 AM

            You couldn’t be further off base.

          • Luke April 1, 2014 at 7:58 AM

            Ok, depression is real, and it does not make people selfish.

            Story time:
            When I was 7, my parents got divorced. Now I was a happy, social butterfly but down deep I was always sad. I didn’t really show it and I only got sad when I thought of my father. Flash forward a couple of months and my mom says we are moving to Texas to be by family. That hit me hard; I was leaving behind my whole life. Friends, family, school and all of my memories. As soon as I got to Texas I hated it. That is when my mom noticed something wrong. I went and got checked out by some therapists and they told my mom it was the beginning of depression. After no treatment, I became suicidal. In the third grade, I had a small notebook filled with drawings of me killing myself. It took years of being on suicide watch and treatments of medicine everyday and therapists every week to pull me out of depression.

            Don’t try to explain something you don’t understand. It makes you sound arrogant and ignorant.

          • Johnny October 25, 2013 at 9:02 PM

            I agree, Bex. Karma’s a word to bring a smile to some sad faces. Sadly to say~ ;D

          • Abby October 18, 2013 at 2:50 PM

            With all due respect, I actually feel like this very article was done out of selfishness. It’s wonderful that you feel comfortable in your own skin, but what was the point of writing this and at what cost? Do you realize that there are probably children out there that are old enough to use the internet and searched the word depression in hopes that they understand why they feel a certain way? Then they come across something that is calling them selfish? I feel like like this was just a self indulgent rant disguised as motivation. Sorry, honey, but you really need to check yourself and stop being self-righteous at the cost of others. It is not being balanced at all. Don’t overestimate your own understanding of the human brain regardless of the research you have done or what you have experienced. By the way, there are probably a lot more people in other countries (unreported) who suffer depression as well and hide it because they don’t want to be judged by people with this attitude, but they still feel it. This is being insensitive to them as well. Don’t speak on behalf of billions of people through a site that billions have access to.

          • Johnny October 25, 2013 at 9:13 PM

            Irony, eh? It can come on like severe…depression?? @.@ !!! Abby knows wants up. If someone can’t put their own self (like see/feel) in any another person’s shoes…Hmmm…

          • lilian506 November 17, 2013 at 12:48 PM

            Abby, really couldn’t of put it better myself. applauding. why did this guy feel the need to even jam his oar in on this when he has no real grounds of understanding or research. he hasn’t experienced this dilemma of depression himself, so at what moment did he think he was rightly equipped to write a help guard on matters. no ounce of logic there whatsoever

          • Alan October 26, 2013 at 12:26 PM


            Let’s point out the flaws.

            First, you avoided the most obvious statement. Genes relate to how likely you are able to suffer or gain something, not that you will. So you haven’t yet had a lifestyle that promotes depression, okay…

            Second, to say you will be depression-free for a lifetime not only expresses such hubris I’ve not seen before, it’s also absurd. How can you predict the future? By saying you will never be something, only increases the likelihood of it occurring. But looking at the first flaw, if you don’t understand likelihood, this discussion may go full-circle.

            Third, I understand why you are confused about depression. You believe in this chain of events: Depression>Attention>Self>Greed. However, everything comes back to you, not just depression. And like others have pointed out, this isn’t the correct depression, either. You are using depression as sadness with the goal of wanting attention (because public displays of sadness are ways to gain attention).

            Four, depression (not just sadness) builds character. It almost always has you look inward and truly understand yourself (or perhaps you’ve already looked inward and have become depressed to learn who you truly are, but then comes the goal-setting and keeping your faults in check). You see, if you never want to know what depression feels like, you will forever be conceited and delusional. Even if you look inward without depression and find yourself saying “nope, I’m a great person, no major flaws here”, then please don’t reproduce. This world does not need such pomposity. If you look inward and find faults, but choose to do nothing about them, then you’re the selfish one. At some level, you believe your flaws aren’t really flaws, and that if someone doesn’t like something about you, it’s their burden.

            Five, you can ignore everything I’ve said up to this point if you’d like. But I have a question for you. Your statement that depression is selfish stems out of the depressed person inflicting his low attitude onto others, and taking their time, attention, and energy. Taking that part of your story alone, what do you say to a depressed person who puts on the happiest face for others? Not a single person in the world knows of the person’s troubles except the person. Are they selfish?

            You also say to just think positive, and you’ll be positive. That only works if your conscious thoughts created a goal that is of delusion anyway. If at your core, you truly feel you need to be sad, that you must suffer, or that this is atoning for something, or for a purpose, then no matter what you think, you will not “snap” out of it.

          • Toma November 6, 2013 at 1:53 PM

            Sorry. I truly meant to say ‘depression free in my lifetime’. My bad.

            I believe I have addressed your other points in previous comments.

          • maya November 27, 2013 at 10:04 PM

            You are exactly what is wrong with the world.why should we have to be happy all the you know what its like to have an alcoholic father that never gave any emotional support,or a mother who was too busy looking after the father?if you dont then shut the fuck up,if you do then maybe your depression..low around the corner.mine has just reared its head at 35..lifetime free!!what a wanker

          • InducedJoy October 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM

            Many say the smartest people are the most unhappy. Many also say the smartest people tend to not be spiritual or religious whatsoever. Not sure what being “spiritual” has to do with anything in your argument, except for the fact that “spiritual” people like to talk about their spirituality at really unnecessary times as if it makes people care more about what they have to say.

            Look, you clearly have no grasp on what depression is or even how basic heredity works, not just for mental illnesses, but for just about anything. A genetic predisposition to something doesn’t mean you’re going to develop it, even something very physical, like celiac disease. I am genetically predisposed and I have it, while my brother is also predisposed but doesn’t actually have the disease. Go figure. Pick up a book and educate yourself on basic psychology and genetics before you go blabbering on some blog like you know what’s up. You can have all the family you want with depression but that doesn’t make you an expert. You’ve never even been there, you have no idea, people don’t just develop depression because they stubbed a toe or something. It’s a dark place, don’t act like you have some sort of clue just because you’re related to somebody who has it. Spend weeks in bed, literally unable to get up and shower yourself or eat, can’t even go to school, and all you hear is “Wow you’re so lazy, why can’t you do anything right, why don’t you just be a normal person, you need to get yourself together”… All from people just like you. People like you are the kind of people who make those with severe depression give up and attempt to end their life. It’s a total lack of empathy on your part.

            Also, how dare you try and downplay the role of a psychiatrist. Do you know how dedicated most of these people are to helping people who need it? Like it’s some kind of bullshit pseudoscience, like it hasn’t been studied for centuries, like the mind is some simple blob in your skull that can be figured out in a fucking blog post. You have invested absolutely zero critical thought into what you have just written, and in the meantime, you’ve managed to offend a lot of people.

            Mental illness, from depression to anorexia to borderline personality disorder, kills people. Psychiatrists try their hardest to help those who hurt on the inside. It’s one thing to have a broken leg, but to have a broken mind? That’s a pretty damn difficult thing to fix. Give psychiatrists more credit, especially when they’ve probably saved the lives of more people around you than you would ever want to know.

          • Toma November 6, 2013 at 2:20 PM

            I give credit to people doing rape and trauma counselling out of the goodness of their own hearts, and to the priests and nuns I personally know who help the poor in places like India and Africa, not to psychiatrists charging $100+ an hour so they can prescribe you medication that you don’t need, while they are rewarded with free holidays to exotic destinations for being so fabulous at doing so.

            When was the last time your shrink said, “Hey, whatever your name is, this month’s sessions are on me, because I love my job and I only do it to make sure people like you get better”? You are defending a corrupt industry.

          • itsclinical November 9, 2013 at 4:27 AM

            So do you go into your job and tell them that you’ll just go ahead and work for free today just because it’s your job?! Of course they get paid to do what they do! They went to school for 10 plus years to do what they do!

            Also I can guarantee that even though you’ve witnessed depression in family members that in no way means that you know what they are going through. I bet you don’t even know half of what they feel or think. It’s a**holes like you that make depressed people hide and not want to seek help and then sadly a lot of them commit suicide.

            Would you tell a cancer patient to just “think positive and think that you don’t have cancer and then poof your cancer will be gone”???

          • mandilouwho? December 19, 2013 at 1:56 AM

            OK here I’m gonna clear this up right now because as a person that is spiritual, doesn’t watch anything negative, eats healthy, exercises, and has a very positive outlook especially with what I have been thru and had a good childhood at least with two loving parents but always even as a child had bouts of depression disagree that it is selfish and that it is in our control to stop it. God is the only one who can heal anything and mental illness is talked about in the bible and only Jesus could heal it. Yes I agree there are too many people quick to label everything a mental illness and prescribe medications when they are only a bandaid but some do need it. Schitzoids cannot control it nor have the mindset or will to. I love my children they are amazing angels and so is my loving husband but I still for no reason get depressed when I have a great life that is simple and I appreciate and enjoy the simple things always, but it just happens. I will cry for no reason and just get upset. Trust me nobody would choose to feel that way if they can help it. This is ridiculous and judgemental. When you just all of a sudden get a terrible fear of nothing or get that icky blah feeling and try to think positive but nothing happens it is very real and not on purpose. Now in saying that there is a difference between allowing yourself to mourn a loss or something bad that has happened and there is situational depression which can be helped by picking yourself up and being strong but it takes time and is healthy to let yourself feel what you feel. Its also a fact that women are more suseptable to depression because of hormones and emotions which can be unbalanced and also if you haven’t heard of post pardem its very real and affects mother’s and cannot be helped without treatment of some kind. How do u explain perfectly healthy moms who love their kids but then go crazy after having one and kill them in the name of God or out of fear something worse will happen to them? Sorry but anyone who could do that or kill at all is mental at the time and has lost it.

          • George Metos December 13, 2013 at 11:48 AM

            Honestly? You think they have an easy job and all they do is prescribe medication?
            I suffer from depression. In the 8th grade I was going to a Catholic school and constantly being told I am going to hell for many reasons. But the worst, was because of who I was. I felt hated and believed I should hate myself. My parents took me to counseling to try and understand why I was so sad. It was there that I was able to finally understand why I was hurting. I found it ran in my family and I had allot of emotional problems (my school being the cause of several)
            I cannot tell you how good it feels to tell someone what you are feeling. Someone who understands and want’s to help you.
            those of us who are depressed tend to feel guilty about unloading on friends and family because it is hard. I sit and counsel my friends almost daily, and it is the hardest thing to do. There was one point that I finally broke down and had to take a week off of everything because I was taking so much in. These people have one of the hardest, headache inducing, life consuming practices that can be boiled down to listening. Honestly, I think they deserve it. When was the last time you listened to 20 people everyday tell you about how they feel and why they hurt?

            By the way,It was not actually my therapist who prescribed antidepressants, but my doctor. I tried them, found I didn’t like how I felt on them and fought it on my own and the tools given to me from therapy.

            So suck on that you ignorant butt. Pull your head out of your ass and actually go do some research about something before presenting your opinion as fact (and you did by saying “it is in your head” and not “I believe it is in your head”) because as far as I can tell, you have not actually studied psychology or medicine.

          • Right. December 25, 2013 at 7:37 AM

            Dude what are you smoking? Lol Well I’m glad you don’t call the shots. The only thing you have is ego. Ever hear the definition of a psychopath? Massive egos is one of their key elements, narcisism… and it’s known in the psychotherapry industry they would never admit to being a narcisist. You might want to seek help.

          • triemers April 1, 2014 at 8:23 AM

            My counselor has been there for me during ym episodes and panic attacks, as well as my severe depressive episodes even past his hours. The system is not corrupt, these people just need to make a living. And from what I have heard from friends overseas, the priests and nuns in Africa tend to make things works. You obviously have very little understanding of neurology; I would suggest you actually research your topic before making an uninformed statement publicly that supports hatred and stigma against getting help for something so damaging.

          • meekerseeker November 5, 2013 at 12:15 PM

            You’re a dumbass in need of attention.

          • Jason Roof November 6, 2013 at 7:00 AM

            Thats almost as asinine as a person who has smoked cigs all his/her life and never getting cancer claiming ‘im cancer proof and indestructible’…… You are nothing more than lucky and drew the correct cards…….. Just bc cigs can increase your risk does not mean you are destined for cancer, just like bc depression runs in your family does not mean you are destined to have it,and just bc you never got it does not mean you avoided the inevitable simply by shear will power…. Think about it

          • Tomainacoma November 15, 2013 at 12:53 AM

            I was going to offer you insight on this topic in which you clearly know nothing about, by sharing my story, but then I thought, that would be selfish of me. Besides there are some posts on here that were insightful and wonderfully written (you might want to take notes) that convey what I would have said to you.

            Instead, I will just leave you with this one question. Would you be able to direct me to the eternal optimists skipping merrily in countries like Sudan and Ethiopia were starvation and civil war are prevalent? I’m getting really sick of seeing the commercials of emaciated and dehydrated children with flies all over them. I mean, how selfish of them to hog the camera for the length of the commercial.

          • Toma November 27, 2013 at 2:39 PM

            When I lived in Italy I had a friend from Mali. He hardly spoke Italian, and he had only been there a year, yet we communicated well. He lived every day not wallowing in the war and poverty surrounding him, but in the hope of a better life, and the knowledge that there was one out there. He never gave up, and he now lives in Italy, has a steady job, and a long-term Italian girlfriend. While he wasn’t skipping around Mali as an eternal optimist, he never became depressed because he had hope, and because he didn’t have the luxury of being a whiny little bitch.

          • Jason December 14, 2013 at 4:11 PM

            I think this is very interesting. Your friend was never depressed because he had hope, yet that is not the same as being non-selfish. So this example seems to propose a completely different root of depression: lack of hope. Is not having hope selfish? Am I missing something?

          • Steve. November 15, 2013 at 8:17 AM

            There’s nothing wrong with your family! It’s just ego and all in their heads so how could you be susceptible? Susceptible to what exactly!

          • zapdmom November 15, 2013 at 9:22 AM

            So Steve, how could anyone be susceptible to any illness? You are a curious creature who has no logical understanding of the illness. Let alone the defiinitive data to support the “physicality” of the illness of Major Depressive Disorder. This disorder is more than just depression. It is just the one that science/medicine has placed on it.

          • Steve. November 15, 2013 at 11:10 AM

            Sorry you have missunderstood my sarcasm, i have suffered severe depression for over 23years, taken many meds and the only thing that brings me out is ect, so i would read peoples comments in the context they were meant and in comment to which post they reply.

          • Toma November 27, 2013 at 2:44 PM


          • Jeremy November 16, 2013 at 2:34 AM

            So what? God let’s you not be depressed because he likes you more you self centered dick?
            Sorry, that was my imaginary depression talking because i have a chemical imbalance in my brain, but it’s my fault because it’s not real. One day my mom puked on the floor crying trying to get a knife to stab herself with and her explanation was basically “nobody listens to her” and “she feels sad”. I wonder why…what do you think it was? Her imagination or a fucking medical condition?

            Go ahead and please have the audacity to respond with some of your bullshit, I’ll wait.

          • Jeremy November 16, 2013 at 2:43 AM

            Btw how ironically idiotic is it to disregard something that’s intangible and saying it’s not real when you are apparently spiritual….is your spirit tangible, if you eat sugar and a doctor says you have a higher risk of heart problems you can’t prove it more than you can prove the probability of having depression but I know damn well you wouldn’t take a risk of heart problemsabd take it with a grain of salt but if you would then you be to illogical to get any further point I make…

          • Lani November 18, 2013 at 10:42 AM

            It must be hard being so much better than everyone.

          • Barbara November 19, 2013 at 6:44 AM

            So, if you have a pre-disposition, then perhaps someday you will hit a long and dark depressive episode. Then I will be interested in hearing YOUR story, instead of your judgement of others. You just might not be as balanced and spiritual as you think you are. I;m sure your family would be very grateful … not to watch you go through the pain of depression, of course, but to gain some compassion. You give yourself credit for showing them some respect in your post but I tend to doubt that you are very respectful of their situation which is very sad for all involved, especially or you.

          • klc November 19, 2013 at 11:04 AM

            Tell me, which spiritual path is so devoid of empathy? Sounds more like you have issues with your family that you’ve built a superficial ‘philosophy’ around and less like balance and spirituality.

          • Toma November 27, 2013 at 3:21 PM

            I agree re: empathy. Our paths are long and full of awakenings. But it’s not about a philosophy, it’s about truth. The truth is that depression is caused by ego.

          • Makenna February 12, 2014 at 2:01 PM

            I suffered a severe traumatic brain injury which changed the chemical processes in brain. These chemical processes are the same processes that cause certain emotions. I have a great life. A great family. Nothing to complain of. And then, I was hit and I suffered from extreme depression. It wasn’t a CHOICE, nor was it out of “ego” or selfishness. If it WAS a choice, I wouldn’t have to live like this. It is scientifically proven that your brain IS responsible for causing “depression.” You obviously have no idea what depression is. It isn’t crying for a few hours and then being done and happy again. Next time you write an article, you should actually do your research instead of creating it merely based on your opinions.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 12:18 PM

            makenna, no matter how much we try to state toma wrong! he has all these hundreds of comment on his stupid article! i think what he actually wanted has been given to him by our wasting our times to tell this “never been through even a minor depression” person that his opinion is i’m sorry to say but quite shitty!

          • Rich November 20, 2013 at 10:27 PM

            Toma, sadly you are an extremely ignorant person. If I had a broken leg would you say I’m selfish for not wanting to walk? Also I believe that you are the selfish one if your very family are affected by the disease yet you refuse to recognise it. It’s people like you that lead others to not talk about how their feeling due to your stigma. Do some research, listen to some of the many people who suffer from the disease including extremely successful and humble people like Stephen Fry and maybe then you may understand a bit more. Until then, I would keep your misguided views to yourself!

          • Toma November 27, 2013 at 3:23 PM

            This article is about the cause of the broken leg, not the broken leg itself.

          • Oliva November 25, 2013 at 5:42 AM

            Just because you’re highly prone to something doesn’t mean it will affect you. It just means that there’s a higher chance for you to be affected than the average person. Depression is a REAL illness. There’s a difference between saying you’re depressed when you’re sad and being clinically depressed. Clinical depression takes over your life, and you have no say in the matter. Despite efforts to fight it, the depression persists. It’s AWFUL, and this article is, quite frankly, insensitive.

          • William December 2, 2013 at 1:59 PM

            Two things…

            1) Just because you got lucky enough to dodge the family bullet does not mean that this illness does not exist. (BTW, you do know that being ‘prone’ to something does not mean you are 100% going to get it, don’t you?)

            2) Please post one piece of ‘scientific BS’. Science is fact. No BS in it.

            (I have a third one, but I learned a long time ago that trying to debate someone who chooses religion over reality is pointless.)

          • mandilouwho? December 19, 2013 at 10:04 AM

            OK that is one of the most ignorant and frustrating things I ever hear people say is well look at me I don’t have this or this person went thru this and this didn’t happen. Guess what my family is prone to depression and crazinessbon both sides and I do suffer too so there. I found this out after years of wondering what was wrong. Do I think I should be affected way more and way worse since its on both side, yes. Do I feel I’m strong for continuing to fight, yes. Do I wish it would go away, YES! But I do deal with it everyday and stay as healthy as I possibly can for me. And btwI am very spiritual too that’s what keeps it to a minimum maybe so what’s your point?

          • Ali December 21, 2013 at 5:30 AM

            I have been surrounded by depressed people all my life and i’ve been pushed to be strong for all of them, all the time. to the point that I have given up on all my hopes, dreams and desires. I think I have the right to call depressed people selfish but i wouldnt. some of them can be but some of them are not selfish people. I think your articles are biased due to your own horrible experiences, and i wouldnt blame you for having this perspective.

            All these posts disgreeing with you are people who only know the “depressed persons” side, they dont know how it feels to be the one who uses all their emotional and mental strength to help these depressed people and live life on everyone’s behalf. To bear with hurtful words of depressed people, to see them destroy happiness and ruin holidays and yet you’d have to keep on trying and trying to make everything right, and despite everything they wont trust you or believe that you love them. I know alot about how it feels to support people in depression. and how selfish they can be at times. but its not always the case. i’m pretty sure that I have or will eventually become a victim to depression myself. and it would be depression inflicted by those who i tried to help. All depressed people would say “it hurts so much to constantly hear voices in your head”, but none of them have any idea how much it hurts to hear REAL voices screaming new and creative hurtful words of people you love and REAL emotional pain drawn from these situations AND to have the strength to tell yourself “its alright, they’re just unwell, they still love me, and even if they dont I will find a way to help them and make them realize i love them”. And to have this happen EVERY WEEK for the rest of your life. They were perhaps traumatized by a bully or a horrible father for a few years, but they BECOME that BULLY and that FATHER for the rest of thier lives. is that even justifiable? Do they really want that? well maybe the selfish ones do. but most of them, I dont think so, they need help to realize what they are doing and how to stop it.

            It takes more strength and it hurts more to fight the current than to simply let go and be taken away by it. HENCE people who support depressed people suffer more and need to be stronger (like me and you). And it is these depressed people who eventually cause their children, their brothers, their mothers and they’re loved ones to break and fall into depression themselves. If they dont get help or try to fix this YES they are selfish, after knowing how they’re causing their suffering to spread. But if they are trying to become better then you need to give them respect.

            Which is why i believe that you, Tomo, were hurt a lot by people around you suffering from depression, but you cant come in terms with your suffering by simply saying “they were selfish, and they are all selfish”. That statement in itself shows that you still blame them and wished they had never been depressed, i.e. you are bieng selfish by denying that these people had suffered involuntarily. Your saying that your loved ones hurt you and themselves on purpose.

            Tomo, i can relate to your situation, more than anyone here probably, but this isnt right from any perspective. its downright prejudice. its generalization to say all mental illness comes from selfishness. It does not. maybe sometimes it is a factor but its not always the case.

          • Right. December 25, 2013 at 7:31 AM

            Hooray for you, go stand on a mountain with that ego you talk about and yell it to the world. We care.

          • Anon December 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM

            So apparently I’m just selfish by putting on a fake smile every day so nobody knows how sad I am, and spending endless hours at night feeling like utter shit. I haven’t told anyone and nobody suspects a thing. So explain to me how that is selfish

          • Gracias Muchacho December 28, 2013 at 4:53 PM

            I haven’t read the article but if I had to guess I’d say it’s selfish of you to continue harboring your demented mentality rather than letting it go. Not to mention suicide is a really fucking selfish thing to do; you have to be a really selfish prick to seriously consider it.

          • Leah January 4, 2014 at 11:18 PM

            ITS NOT A MATTER OF SELFISHNESS. !!!!!!! I have had suicidal thoughts and it’s not because I want to make my family unhappy!!! It’s because I’m so depressed I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to in my life. It’s people like you who are selfish.

          • Gracias Muchacho January 10, 2014 at 3:49 PM

            There you go, you’re only considering your life and not the life of your family and friends. You’re only convincing me even more that depression is selfish. YOU have nothing to look forward to in YOUR life. You haven’t even considered the impact that it would have on your family and friends. It seems to me that you have to be pretty far up your own ass to be considering killing yourself.
            For the record I’m not selfish; I’m just angry, apathetic, and objective.

          • Natalie March 15, 2014 at 8:41 AM

            I think the word “selfish” has taken on too personal a tone. It’s not a direct selfish relationship between depression and your actions, but it’s undeniable that it is selfish. When anyone around me is depressed, and when I have been depressed, it is all ME ME ME. You see it in hindsight and as involuntary as it was because I was unaware, I can no longer allow myself to fling my needs on others. That is unselfish depression.

          • The cakes December 31, 2013 at 4:48 PM

            I would say to thank god for that because you could just as easily be the most imbalanced and the most spiritual! Shame on youi!

          • Science January 25, 2014 at 5:19 AM

            Just because you’re highly prone to it, doesn’t mean you’ll have it. I have a history of mental illness in my family. Everyone else if fine. I suffer from chronic depression. There are times where I feel better, but I still deal with lack of energy, suicidal ideation, and feelings of hopelessness. I’ve tried everything. I exercise, I have supportive friends and family, I eat right and even cut out gluten which was making me sick, I have a job and am going to school in order to get a career in what I love, and even spiritual. So, by a lot of people’s thinking here I should be fine right? Yet I still suffer from the debilitating side of major depression.

            I really hope you don’t tell any of your loved ones your ignorant bullshit. I’m sure it doesn’t help them any.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 11:57 AM

            toma, the only person selfish here is u :) u’d call a girl whose been badly raped for months ! u’ve never really heard of the incidents such as a girl being badly raped by a gang..beaten and even gotten a steel rod put inside of her through her vagina all the way up and then finally after all that thrown out naked on the road in front of severalllll people ! such things do happen! and if the girl survives and gets into severe major depression without it being her choice ..her family disowned her because of what happened and then finally she tried to end her life…u call her selfish ! wow toma i truly admire u ! and anybody after reading this still says one can handle it and get over it is some human being!

          • Angie April 12, 2014 at 2:31 AM

            Hi – I am new to this thread – I’m curious about something – I hope it will not insult you to ask how old you are? You look very young in your photo – so I’m just curious. Thanks.

          • Leah January 4, 2014 at 11:13 PM

            Exactly my point—it’s not a controllable thing!!! I can think positive but it doesn’t do anuthing!! I have suffered from clinical depression since I was 12 and I don’t want to hear that it is selfish of me to have suffered it. You don’t get it.

        • Reply Katie October 21, 2013 at 4:22 PM

          Depression is not something you can help, it comes from a chemical imbalance in the brain, leaving the person with many different results. Many people feel nothing, they are completely numb, then suddenly, everything comes like a tidal wave. Sometimes that tidal wave can last, causing self-hatred, and things like that. But my main point is that depression isn’t selfish, though the chemical imbalance may make the person act selfish, or not noticing of others struggles, it is not something you can control with being busy, because you feel nothing most of the time. (well, in my case) I disagree with this passage because it is like telling someone with severe anxiety (which is also a symptom of depression) that what they are freaking out about is no big deal, when in reality, it is keeping them from living. I was browsing when I found this and I was, first of all, offended, and second of all, sorry because that is how you see people like me. I just hope that you don’t see people not feeling the hell of reality, yet feeling it at the same time, as selfish.

        • Reply mary November 21, 2013 at 11:47 AM

          you say this because you don’t understand, i am 16 and i have depression, i self harm, am suicidal, but i tell no one because i don’t want them to be affected by me. i don’t kill myself because i don’t want to hurt the people i love even if they are the ones hurting me.

          • April November 24, 2013 at 3:33 PM

            Mary, please go to your school counselor and ask for help, especially if you feel your family would not be supportive. If you don’t feel the school counselor is helpful or empathetic look for someone else. A youth pator would be a great resource for you. Even if you can’t drive you can call him/her or reach out online. Keep looking till someone can help guide you. You are a valuable person with a purpose. God knows every nuance of your heartache. Ask him to help guide you to the right people, resources. I too suffered depression at your age and told noone. When I got caught crying one night by my older brother who was home on college break he was judgmental and I had always idolized him so it was very hurtful. Its important to go to someone who has your best interest at heart and who knows what they’re talking about.God bless you. I will be praying for you.

        • Reply Zim November 23, 2013 at 10:40 PM

          FUCK YOU. I am clinically depressed, fucking suicidal, and fucking self harm. the fuck you trying to say that I don’t appreciate my fucking shit! WELL I FUCKING DO OKAY. I FUCKING APPRECIATE EVERYTHING I HAVE. I just fucking… God damn it this really pissed me off. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE “NICE” WHEN YOU’RE TELLING ME TO JUST GET OVER MYSELF. I FUCKING AM A SLAVE TO MY FAMILY. WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT I FUCKING GET IT. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. I NEVER SHOW MY DEPRESSION AROUND OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF FUCKTARDS LIKE YOU. So fuck off.

          • Anthony March 26, 2015 at 9:48 PM

            I agree man, this guy is a complete idiot. He doesn’t understand there are real chemical and scientific reasons behind depression. Some people in the world are selfish but this guy is just a complete fucking asshat and so is everyone else on here who agrees with him. You (the writer) are a complete self-righteous dick bag.

          • Steve L Finch April 11, 2015 at 1:28 AM

            That goes for me too Zim. Fuck this prick who wrote this shit. Whoever you are you are the shit stain on the underbritches of society. How dare you have the balls to talk about selfishness and being spiritual? Why you filthy bastard. I’d like to twist your fucking ignorant insensitive head off and roll it down the road. I believe that the most UNSELFISH people are the ones most prone to being to depressed because they care about people and see all the injustice when they look out at the world and see how full it is of incompassionate, vile, hateful, tragically ignorant, self righteous, know it all, uncaring, godless, inhumane, etc. etc. etc pieces of evil shit like the author and supporters of the article and all the harm they do to good people. All you have accomplished here is to exacerbate my already severe and very real and non intentional clinical depression. Do you honestly think that if I could just think myself out of being depressed that I wouldn’t do that? Depression is a disease and to tell us to just think ourselves better is like telling someone who’s had a foot cut off just to grow one back you fucking obtuse fucking low life piece of shit. I’d give anything to get out of depression. As far as being selflish I am by far the most “selfless” person I have ever met. I’ve literally been known to give the shirt off my back or my last ten dollars to a complete stranger many times. My favorite Bible verse is, “do nothing from vain conceit or selfish ambition but with lowliness of mind esteem ALL OTHERS as better than yourself.” Unfortunately you’re one person I can’t respect enough to esteem that high. I hope you die of the drizzling shits!!!

        • Reply liz November 29, 2013 at 1:33 PM

          i have depression I’m not selfish you are criticizing because you are a heartless human being and you just don’t understand how out minds work there is so much stupid on one person it really doesn’t add up!

        • Reply Tony December 30, 2013 at 9:43 AM

          There are those who suicide with the guts to muster the MALICE in their hearts to PUNISH those who have mistreated them from the beginning of their lives (often parents), when instead they should’ve been loving them. They know FULL well the emotional pain inflicted upon the survivors will act as a type of “solace” or “striking back” because the pain they’ll suffer for the REST of their mortal lives; with the intent to make them feel as horrid and isolated as they drove the victim to be. This happens by the mechanism of not only 1) arousing the stigma of the mere subject of suicide to the survivors, but also by 2) by making it previously CLEAR that THEY drove the person to kill themselves–and will it upon them to despair with that knowledge that they cannot “un-think.” And, there is some evidence that this has happened. Years of counseling of even the most begrudged scrooge of a survivor can BREAK them emotionally, physically and mentally, which is “justice” to the dead, not selfishness. The evidence of this came from forensic psychologists studying Columbine, yet never really saw the light of day–notice the “jock” victims they decided to kill while looking others in the face and sparing their lives because they had no “beef” with them. Instead, the shooters knew the victims families would always suffer with “what could have been,” but was never fully realized. The fact that the shooters were bullied by their children never seemed to cross the minds of their families. This avarice is commonly called “corruption of blood” or “vendetta” in Sicily.

        • Reply Truth January 3, 2014 at 1:32 AM

          I once thought that people with depression just needed to get on with it until I suffered severe depression. Mine came on by probably doing and giving too much to others and not enough to myself! No matter what I tried nothing worked until the day, totally unable to even speak my GP started treatment. Even he was surprised I took the anti-depressants. I still battled on with things until some in my medical team called it quits, and although the last thing I wanted was to go on a Disability Pension I found I had little choice. I have another practitioner I see and she says people with depression need to go out and do things for others. To my surprise she didn’t with me. It was the complete opposite. I wanted to go and help my mother – ‘no’ came the reply your too sick. To keep my kind more positive I went back to study against the desire of my medical team. Believe me it is really tough going and sometimes I think I’m not going to make it, but with my steely determination I do. This has not cured my depression. I still suffer from depression so deeply I sometimes cannot speak, no longer wanting to live plagues me. I’ve changes my mind about depression. It is an illness. I’m sure for quite a number of people doing something for another will be of benefit, but for some, we are just so exhausted because we’ve done so much for others, we have given so much our systems say ‘enough is enough’ and our minds turn off. For others their bodies may suffer physical illness as a response to ‘enough is enough’ but you think that it is ok for a body to do so, not a mind as though they are two totally separate things. Perhaps physical illness can be a response to stress, just like mental illness can be a response to stress.

          I still hate not being able to do much. I get so frustrated. I’ve always been a person so much on the go.

          And Tomo, it is not true that those in poorer countries don’t suffer from it. It is interesting that women in their 50’s and 60’s often do, no matter what culture they come from. It is called menopause. You should ask your mummy and your aunties about it. Or perhaps go to a female clinic and learn about it. Then you perhaps will stop posting absolute rot and garbage. You obviously have little understanding of the facts of life! So go and talk to your mummy about it, or perhaps speak to a person with some medical knowledge. You may learn something.

          However, my impression is that you are too young, arrogant and self-righteous to do that.

        • Reply simone January 7, 2014 at 7:14 AM

          well you seem like an illegal immigrant obviously wasn’t taught empathy no need to Havre feelings haven’t been bought up proper chase the gold coin none of you are actually psychologists are you no so how do you actually know how the human mind actually work just a bunch of novices of this society don’t get ill just work h don’t go off the rails just pay the fucking bills i’m a very strong women I’ve worked since I was sixteen been bought up in a broken home so ‘im not allowed to say i’m depressed of course its an illness its very bad for some nobody to make such an in accurate view

        • Reply pmz January 11, 2014 at 8:53 AM

          I agree with you. Depression is selfish. If you want to kill yourself, I would be happy to smash a hammer through your skull you sad pathetic fucks..

          • anon April 1, 2014 at 4:35 PM

            i am going to report your threatening comment .

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 12:25 PM

            lol u r so frustrated! one does not want to! such thoughts come to them…do most of the ppl fight such thoughts out,yes! ones who are not able to are not strong enough! your use of vocabulary is very interesting! i’m quite sure u or your family has not gone through severe depression! i have they or u never do because then u’d really get to know who’s selfish and insensitive here! and that’ll be sad :D

        • Reply Debra January 19, 2014 at 8:23 PM

          I do agree with you, but I think realizing that, gaining control of it, learning not to wallow, etc.. is something not everyone can do, especially when they’re young. To me, it’s more a weak/lazy thing than selfish.. unless they commit suicide. I’m speaking from personal experience, not books or other’s opinions. There’s been a few times that my kids were the only reason I didn’t give up. And that’s what it is. Feeling sorry for yourself, and wallowing in it, and weak. For me, the guilt always came because I hate when I get the “I don’t give a hoots” and get lazy. All of these things pass, but many never realize that. Just knowing that makes it easier to get through it, and less of an “event”. It’s just stress, when it rains it pours, truly.. but KNOWING that it will pass (or you’ll learn to deal with it) keeps you from feeling truly hopeless. I’ve seen people lose everything, with nothing on the horizon to start rebuilding with. Some jumped in the river, or turned into drunks.. gave up. Then there’s the strong who motor on.. (I worked at a casino and saw it alot unfortunately) It irritates me when people milk it. I get fed up and say, get over yourself.. like I say to myself. That’s another aspect.. support.. someone to push you to shake it off. Then there’s hormone imbalances, etc that are true conditions that can alter your mood.. dopamine as well.. sun..I”ve been down lately because I feel kind of jaded.. getting old, menopause, and pissed at myself for being so lazy. Think of the gym every day, and never go, etc. For the moment, I get a buzz, and vent to someone like you :) I know it’ll pass, as soon as I get motivated. If I told my friends I was depressed, they’d laugh and think I’m full of it, because I’m always laughing and upbeat.. or passionate and peeved :) That’s because when I’m downer Debbie, I stay home and deal with it… like everyone should until they can at least play nice.. in my opinion. Not everyone is honest with themselves, or has a tough attitude, or maybe even the intelligence to understand what they need to do to get over painful things I guess.. And there are some that have legit reasons to be down for awhile.. the brain is a funny thing.. and chemicals, etc can be a factor, so I hate to say ALL are lazy and weak, but for the most part, yep. Suck it up princess. Motor on. Keep moving and it’ll pass. Wallow in it, and you create your own little hell.. DO something about it. (says the chick in her pajamas all day haha) Anywho, I enjoyed your article. Straight up truth for a change, smart, quick, enjoyable read.. and a refreshing honesty on the topic. I’m lovin’ you right now! lol We need to quit pampering everyone. Don’t even get me started on the whole “politially correct” bull lol And then there’s the drug companies, and doctors pushing meds.. that screw people up that were just having a bad week.. It’s a huge problem, and more people need to speak up as you did.
          I’ll leave you before you gouge your eyes out over my rant and poor grammar lol Thanks again.. and for the reminder to get my head out of my ass.

        • Reply colin sanderson February 2, 2014 at 2:15 AM

          I can understand why people find depression hard to believe. It is something you have to experience yourself to be truly educated on the matter, even so when you are feeling well its hard to believe that you were feeling that way.

          People seem to believe that computers can run slow lose files and crash but if you took then apart you would find nothing wrong with them. Its the binary code them millions of tiny connections so it is physical but so minute and complicated.

          The brain is even more complicated you have billions of connections and a complexity even in the least intelligent person who tend to think in a very quick straightforward way, they are less confused by things, and have no self doubt, so think very quickly, they are good in emergences, but not so good on long term strategies. They would have great problems understanding true depression

          To make the brain even more complicated it relies on chemicals, hormone and neurotransmitters, they are adjusted to make us act naturally to give us the best chance of survival, like a computer that shuts itself down to save energy. Our brains can go into what feels like an hibernation energy saving mode. It would be very useful in times of shortages sleeping all day burnes very few calories. whatever the reason it is not a useful adaptation in todays world.

          The conscious mind or what people call willpower fight against the tiredness and slow thinking. For a time willpower can win and it appears from the outside you are nearly normal but you can usually see in the eyes of a depressed person. One depressed person can spot another even if they appear to everyone else to be the life and soul of the party.

          I don’t talk about skiing because I have never skied but I have seen people ski so any comments would have no authority.

        • Reply Benjamin March 20, 2014 at 7:28 AM

          I have suicidal depression. I don’t care about my family, God, eating, or even drinking. Depression is an illness that can lead to PTSD. Do you think that I chose to be depressed. Being selfish? That is stupid! It is not my fault that I was bullied and had lots of stress! Now I have to worry about the fact that I won’t lynch myself the next day! Your statement is so wrong in many levels.

        • Reply Why am I judged? March 30, 2014 at 3:40 AM

          How dare you say depression is selfishness!! How would you feel if you were depressed like me? I didn’t choose to be depressed. Maybe you and the others who said that should try being considerate for once! When I saw the things on this website criticizing people for being depressed I started to cry. Maybe you should try thinking before you speak for once in your life!

          • Natalie March 30, 2014 at 8:22 AM

            The way I see it…and keep in mind it’s just an it’s pretty selfish to tell someone that they should not dare broadcast their opinion because of your feelings.

          • ela May 29, 2015 at 11:27 PM

            natalie FUCK OFF im fucking sick of scrolling down and seeing your immature and snarky remarks at comments that go against what your stupid fucking beliefs.

          • Natalie June 1, 2015 at 5:16 PM

            It’s strange my comments have upset you so. You could choose to ignore my comments and allow me my freedom of speech.

        • Reply divya April 3, 2014 at 9:42 AM

          well if u think that depression is selfish u’ve never been through depression so dont try to give out statements when ur not even completely aware of anything! plus at times life pretty much sucks for people problems problems…living in a place full of judgemental people and parents who never get u! no friends! everyone telling u to do something or the other…seeing the ones u love and not being able to do nything about! there are times in life when nothing is right from any angle! what do u expect then? the person to be great full to god for giving him complete senses and or have gratitude about the fact that food is still available to that person or just the fact that he not dead and that there are other people with more problems! i have gratitude and i’ve thankful for all this for yearssssss now but at the end hello? i’m a human …not god …and i did try to be perfect but it does kill u inside knowing that u r a good person…never done or wanted wrong for anybody and still all this is happening to me! one’s helpless …no one who’s gonna listen to u …support u or understand u ! seeing ur parents in pain when they r such good humans! one can b strong for a long time miss but not forever …he/she isn’t selfish …not crying out loud that oh my god i have depression…i go through it alone cause i dont want to disturb my family anymore than they already are! is that being selfish? or is just making a statement such as depression is selfish selfish? u see for urself! the one going through REAL depression can only say something about it ..not u or anybody else! i ont mean to be rude but just really want u to open up ur mind and eyes and not make such statements…it just might hurt certain people !

        • Reply Johnathan Murphy April 7, 2014 at 6:56 AM

          Not all forms of depression is selfish, and you dont and cant relate to all forms of depression… so if you are not a depression doctor or atleast in school…then stop telling us how smart you think you are.

        • Reply Tay April 9, 2014 at 1:54 PM

          Okay me being psychically and emotional abused as a child makes me selfish? I’m sorry I have been damaged when I was a child; you know the very abuser said the same things to me. “You just want attention, you are selfish” and continued to beat the shit out of me. So yeah… people have reasons why they think like that. It isn’t as simple to stop being depressed. Not when people literally broke everything; it’s a long road of recovery. Don’t be ignorant.

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:42 PM

            You being abused, like me, was out of our control. Out of our abusers’ control, really, and a reality. It is selfish to take offense in every perceived invalidation of our hurt, and to navigate life looking for any special treatment based on the tragedy of our stories.

          • wearewalkingdead June 17, 2014 at 3:47 PM

            So basically you’re saying, “I dealt with it so suck it up?”. Idiot.

        • Reply Jo Aldridge April 9, 2014 at 3:04 PM

          I agree with your perception being that it is selfish toward others, but that is really only a selfish opinion.

          Because sooner or later, someone [like me] has to be selfLESS and treat a selfish person in a selfless way to show them the “right” way.

          Please consider how “selfish” this post would appear to someone who is at risk of suicide.

        • Reply Katherine April 25, 2014 at 10:51 AM

          I agree that depression is selfish. I also believe that it is real. It only becomes selfish when an individual chooses to stay in that mindset for a prolonged period of time. People fall on hard times and they may get depressed, and they either can stay in their own self pity, and use it as an excuse to do nothing – or they can pick themselves up and move forward and continue to live their life. But I do feel that your statement saying “If it can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word” is somewhat questionable. For example – a “conscience”. It to can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. But it is a fact that a conscience is real and most individuals have a conscience and there are others who lack one. Such as sociopaths and psychopaths. Ruthless individuals who violate others, con and scam, and even attempt to destroy a persons character and reputation, simply because they enjoy the suffering and humiliation of others. These people feel no guilt or remorse for the lies they tell and lives they destroy whatsoever. When first meeting a sociopath one would never suspect the person had no conscience because they cannot see it outwardly. People who do not have a conscience – pretend to care, and lying comes as natural as berthing to them. They do whatever they feel is necessary to manipulate (usually a caring, kind and empathic person) in order to get what they need. They use the person and discard them like trash. By the time the person realizes what is going on – it’s too late.. And they find their lives in turmoil, and are drained emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically. They attempt to put their life back in order, with a high chance of failure. The person that caused them all this trouble. Does not feel bad or sorry and has no regrets. In fact they will blame the victims and vilify them. Sociopaths are known to be able to pass lie detector test. They do not have care about anyone. They have no conscience. We cannot see a conscience (or the lack of one from an individual who doesn’t have one) but we know that a conscience does exist – and in the case of sociopaths – it does not exist. I think your writing was informative and good. This just my opinion regarding your statement about “if it can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real world”. There are many things that can’t be seen or touched but they are in fact real.

          I am an open minded person. And I like to try to view everyone’s personal opinions and try to understand why they may feel that way, and I try to relate.

        • Reply dez323 May 6, 2014 at 3:55 AM

          Fuck off some people are actually depressed and not because there selfish. Some people had thing happen to them to make them depressed and it was not a choice they made

        • Reply Laura V May 19, 2014 at 10:31 PM

          Depression can come from feeling helpless about the entire world.. not just over selfish matters. All of the pain and suffering in the world can make someone depressed.

        • Reply Izzy May 21, 2014 at 3:04 PM

          I disagree. I really don’t know why people call depression selfish, and why some people feel so angry about it. I have been fighting with depression for the last 10 years of my life. Even when I was diagnosed, I argued with the Doctor telling him that Depression for me was in no way possible. I had nothing to be depressed about. From the outside, people that know me, and people that don’t know me, would say that I appear to be an extremely upbeat person. Even at my age (50 years old) I love playing jokes on people. I known that I am, with out a doubt, one of the most fortune people around . I’ve been married for 28 years to a wonderful man who has loved me with all of his heart. I have grown children, that I am extremely close to, who tell me every day how much they appreciate me as a mother. I know that I’ve created a wonderful life for myself.. For me, there is a difference between just having sadness”, and being “Depressed”. Being sad comes from maybe a loved one dying, or a fire taking your home. There is actually a reason for normal sadness. Depression on the other hand doesn’t make sense. You wake up going about your day and suddenly. . . . there is a sadness that just hits you. There is no reason behind it. I just know that I feel sad. I know that it’s depression when everything is really wonderful in my life, and my feelings don’t reflect that. In my case, about two years ago, I started having several seizures through out the day. The doctors did many tests on my brain and have noted that I have many lesions (injuries) on my brain (Hundreds of them). In my case, these lesions have caused a chemical imbalance in my brain. My serotonin and dopamine levels don’t work together correctly. There are many reasons for this imbalance. I know that, exercise and a good diet helps tremendously. Take some vitamin B12. It really can make a difference. Good luck to those of you who fight depression on a daily basis. I know for a fact that Depression is real. Unless a person has had depression, it really is hard to understand.

        • Reply Noneya Business March 25, 2015 at 8:13 PM

          I definitely agree with you. Being depressed over people who didn’t give a shit about you is a waste of time and it is also somewhat selfish because you are being sad in front of those who actually want you and love you for who you are. I was used by the people who I thought were my friends, people I trusted most and i realized the reason why I was so sad all the time, was because I surrounded myself with such assholes and users who really didn’t give a shit about my feelings. I did not know how painful it was for my family to see me sad until I took my eyes off and me and my situation and looked at them. I have been happier since I let these users out of my life, sometimes I relapse, but then I remember the people who truly love me and I am able to tune out my negative thoughts.

        • Reply Ben Breathwick March 31, 2015 at 6:43 PM

          In the same way schizophrenia is selfish?

        • Reply Sarah April 21, 2015 at 3:56 PM

          What a load of rubbish I’m suffering from it due to bullying in the workplace and family issue people with cancer in the family! I wouldn’t say I’m selfish at all! This person obviously has never had depression. Everyone is different and you cannot tar people with the same brush! Everyone is depressed for lots of reasons, some people go on to have other mental conditions from being depressed. If it isn’t an illness then why do they treat it? Why do we have mental hospitals? Why did we have mental asylums? The person that wrote this is ignorant to the disease. You can’t say people who don’t have money aren’t depressed! People have a negative point of view on mental health and it should change! I hope that you don’t have to go through depression or a mental illness because positive thinking doesn’t always cut it!

        • Reply Nihan July 8, 2015 at 3:49 AM

          I agree that some kinds of depression is really just selfishness, but sometimes when you’re in an environment where no one likes you for absolutely no reason and you are not In a position and or age to get away from it and the only option is suicide in different forms but then you can’t because all life is sacred and you have hope that someday things will get better, then that’s depressing. It’s a situation where you can never be truly happy because someone or some people who have even the slightest power better than you do are doing all they can to make you miserable. If a person is in a state where even the smallest positivity they try to show is thwarted ruthlessly, who is constantly if not always in a state of unhappiness, mistrust, sad, non energetic, in general just miserable and with no significant human rights and you tell that person that being miserable or having negative thoughts is selfish, then you’re the one who’s being selfish.

        • Reply Your mom July 23, 2015 at 6:41 PM

          Obviously the author of this article has never had depression. What an insensitive jerk. If someone has been in the military and has ptsd and depression because they were just doing the job of looking out for other people I don’t know how you could come to the conclusion that they ate selfish. This writer proves they have no empathy or sympothy for the well being of others. Much more damn in than someone being “selfish” due to traumatic injury. JERK!!!

        • Reply DISGUSTED DEPRESSED SELFISH PERSON July 23, 2015 at 6:48 PM

          I agree with SLAPGAS. The writer of this article is an insensitive jerk. If someone has ptsd and depression due to military service which involved serving others I don’t see how anyone can come to the conclusion that it’s due to selfishness. Obviously the author has never experienced severe depression. The author shows the inability to have empathy or sympathy for another person which is one of the indicators of a sociopath and probably not too far off from a psychopath. Way to go you insensitive JERK!! I bet you make mom and dad proud.

        • Reply Coco September 29, 2015 at 8:03 PM

          Depression is a chemical imbalance.
          I feel like I’ve time warped back into the 1950’s
          Check out Hyperbole and a half adventures in depression part 1 and 2.

        • Reply K October 15, 2015 at 9:31 PM

          You are very uneducated!

          • Natalie October 28, 2015 at 3:49 AM

            …and you are the authority on this matter?

        • Reply merryjay November 11, 2015 at 9:04 AM

          Not selfish, I cry but don’t know why. I am generally a very happy person with a great life. But some things just kick me into feeling bad. Watching someone mistreat an animal makes me depressed because someone was actually capable of such a nasty act. And please learn how to communicate. I am not sure what the babble above was beyond you thinking depression is selfish.

      • Reply Halle Bowen July 19, 2013 at 5:06 AM

        I TOTALLY agree. I’ve had depression for a long time. But I was choosing to make it worse. And it got worse. Then, I quit having pity and stopped making excuses and got help. Guess what? I’m great. No meds or therapy.

        • Reply Jerry Skinner October 25, 2013 at 7:57 AM

          My son said he is unhappy long time and has had suicidal thoughts. He is 18 and just finished high school. Where can he find help?

          • eve ramos October 31, 2013 at 10:51 AM

            If he’s not on any medication, take him to a doctor to see what could be causing these suicidal thoughts. Maybe counseling could benefit him. I wish you and your son the best of luck with this!

          • dretta November 14, 2013 at 9:43 AM

            Send him to a PSYCHOLOGIST. They help, but without pushing medications on you at all.. They are like advanced guidance counselors. When I was severely depressed my psychologist helped me turn my life around

          • zapdmom November 15, 2013 at 7:10 AM

            While psychologists “cannot” prescribe you medication, pushing is really the wrong word. Maybe you have had a negative experience with that. Personally I saw a psychologist and social worker before I ever went to a psychiatrist. I only felt partially well. I accepted I was just meant to feel crappy my whole life. It wasn’t until years later (about 5) that I was worsening and becoming extremely lethargic and quiet. After seeing a psychiatrist when things were really bad, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. He told me I was curable. After a year of going off meds twice and each time relapsing back into that depression, I looked for another doctor. Unfortunately for almost 20 years I believed I would be better after being on meds for that length of time (equal to the amount of time I felt depressed) I was still depressed most of the time. I am still on meds. Without them, I know I would be dead. You have no idea how bad it feels, how much you cry because you cannot stop. I never did any of this in front of family or friends. In fact I stayed away and hid myself in a corner … crying incessantly. Not eating, not caring about anything or anyone. A part of me still hopes SOMEDAY there will be a cure. But until then I will try to understand the people who cannot take the time to understand me.

          • Kylie December 1, 2013 at 1:14 PM

            Take him to his doctor who could refer him to a psychiatrist and a counselor.

      • Reply Lou July 22, 2013 at 11:06 PM

        I think this is a massively over-simplified, insensitive and misguided article. NOT a helpful message to send to people suffering from acute depression. Telling them they are selfish is akin to implying they have 100% control over their crippling health problem, and they can simply wish it away. Would you tell someone they can cure their cancer by being less selfish? Depression is a DISEASE. In some cases it is a symptom of thyroid, vitamin deficiency and other serious health problems. Your sentiment is cruel and poorly expressed. :-(

        • Reply Nick July 23, 2013 at 2:34 AM

          I think it should be clarified that, if depressive symptoms are in fact due to “thyroid, vitamin deficiency or other serious health problems” then they are not considered psychiatric illness. In these cases, the patient should have the underlying medical condition treated in order to resolve his symptoms. “Major depressive disorder,” for example, is not a diagnosis that would be made if a person’s hypothyroidism can account for the symptoms.

          • Sam Huff August 17, 2013 at 1:33 AM

            Attempts to find physical reasons for depression are much less frequent that ideally. Much easier to treat the symptoms. Shrinks are unlikely to check for physical causes.

          • Marianne October 4, 2013 at 11:34 AM

            Actually, if one goes to a psych. MD and not a psychologist aka shrink, the psych MD will order various medical tests to rule out a medical condition before simply treating the symptoms of depression. And if for some reason, the MD does not. Then I suggest requesting tests or see another MD.

          • newzbug November 24, 2013 at 8:17 AM

            @Sam Huff, if your words are true, that means that GPs will not understand the depth of a mental illness. Yep, your words are so wrong.

        • Reply J August 12, 2013 at 6:38 AM

          by the authors definition of depression ” It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads,” happiness doesn’t exist either!

          • akimitsu August 23, 2013 at 9:01 AM

            If you want to get technical, all of your senses are controlled by and perceived in your mind. Using the logic that depression is only in your head is, therefore, completely true — and everything else that you see, hear, touch, taste and smell is also only in your head. Does that make it any less valid?

            There are many types of depression, and I think almost every singular case of depression is unique. It’s a mysterious state of being, to be depressed. If it were easily describable, it might be easier to get help and/or help oneself, or not to become depressed in the first place.

            I ended up on this article hoping it might actually have some good insight, and read it completely open-minded, but there was nothing there I hadn’t considered before.
            I don’t consider myself a person who feels self-pity. I have dealt with depression so long that I’ve become angry with it, and do everything to battle it. I have good self esteem, emotional and intellectual intelligence, and see more positive than negative in most things. I do not sit and wallow in my own bad feelings, or think bad things about others or myself.

            In fact, what I was originally looking for was perhaps someone else who also suffers depression that does not have necessarily negative thoughts or feelings of worthlessness. I’m kind of sorry that I read this article, because its lack of compassion is confusing.

            The depression that I suffer from is, as far as I know, not caused by any particular event in my life. It is not through laziness, self-loathing, overthinking — there is nothing that can be pinpointed. It is mainly a feeling of restlessness and emptiness. I keep going every day because I tell myself that each day is good, and every day I am getting better, but after years I had to admit to myself that I haven’t gotten better. There is no enjoyment in anything anymore, as much as I want there to be. All of the things I used to love, I have no feeling for anymore, except the feeling that I want to love them again, but somehow can’t seem to.

            It’s an emotional apathy that no amount of helping others, self-improvement, changing life activities, changing diet (I am on a permanent organic, paleo diet), getting enough exercise, socializing, being self-sufficient, — no amount of ANYTHING has seemed to help. For a long time, I told myself it was helping. Every thing that I changed, I just KNEW it was working, but I was lying to myself. The hardest thing was for me to be honest and finally take notice that at the end of everything, every day, there was only emptiness and somewhere a small desire not to feel this way.

            If you are still replying to comments on this article, I would love to hear any input you might have. It’s best to go into things open-minded, so if you could spare any time, perhaps I -am- being selfish somehow, and still do not see it. Thanks.

          • Toma September 4, 2013 at 9:22 PM

            Hi akimitsu. Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. Yours was the first comment after starting my recent hiatus, but I’ve had you in mind. You’ve covered so much about what you do, but you’ve said nothing of what you believe.

          • Ayla September 14, 2013 at 10:23 PM

            Can you also tell me what you would say to a child that has been sexually abused? Neglected? And are depressed? Tell them they are being selfish?

          • Toma September 14, 2013 at 10:43 PM

            A similar question to this has been asked previously. Children need nothing more than love. I would make that child feel loved completely and unconditionally. There is nothing more effective.

          • Sean September 15, 2013 at 12:04 AM

            Okay, so you would love this child as much as possible. There is no doubt about that. But when this abused child looks up at you completely bewildered and confused and in pain and asks, “But Daddy, why am I so depressed and in pain? I don’t understand. I am so scared all the time? Please help me! Please explain!” You would then reply, “son, none of those feelings are real. They are all in your head. You are depressed because you are selfish. Go outside and play in that beautiful sunny weather and look at those beautiful trees. You know, if you were doing your chores the way you should be you wouldn’t have time to think about your pain and if you did chores all day long you wouldn’t have any pain at all! But you are being selfish. This is why you feel so awful. And what you feel is all in your head. Part of your big imagination! But remember, daddy loves you!”

            That is essentially what you conveyed to us in this article. Would it be any different for a fragile child? I mean, isn’t it the same thing?

          • Toma September 16, 2013 at 8:52 AM

            Despite this article, it’s unlikely I would have that exact conversation with anybody, and certainly not with a child.

            I do have one small regret with this article, and it is the way in which I wrote it. While I still firmly believe in the underlying message, I do wish I had written it with a slightly softer tone so that what I was trying to convey came across more clearly. The way I wrote it, and in particular the title, seem to invoke so much emotion that the message gets lost completely. Your comment is evidence of this.

          • The cakes December 31, 2013 at 5:21 PM

            This guy is a genuine ignormanous!

            I do not think he fully even answered your question!
            September 16, 2013 at 8:52 AM#

            Despite this article, it’s unlikely I would have that exact conversation with anybody, and certainly not with a child.

            I hate to inform him but this was the article that he wrote so it was the conversation that he had with all of us not knowing our ages or what issues we may have had! I see him a man with no compassion; who is uncaring and should never give any more talks about depression! He does not apologize or tell anyone how sorry he is that they have had do endure some of the things that some of these people had! In fact, he probably should never have any children!; just in case as we would not want to see any more children messed up than are are already!

            September 16, 2013 at 8:52 AM#

            Despite this article, it’s unlikely I would have that exact conversation with anybody, and certainly not with a child.

            I do have one small regret with this article, and it is the way in which I wrote it. While I still firmly believe in the underlying message, I do wish I had written it with a slightly softer tone so that what I was trying to convey came across more clearly. The way I wrote it, and in particular the title, seem to invoke so much emotion that the message gets lost completely. Your comment is evidence of this.

          • Jen October 5, 2013 at 12:32 PM

            You mention in your article about going back to the happy childhood days. I suppose my selfish self should go back to the memories of the many times I was on my knees performing oral sex on a man and then asking me “if I wanted fucking salt and pepper on it” when I told him it didn’t taste good after he asked. Or the other molester her liked licking me many times, or the several men who fondled me. Or, I could always think about the happy times watching my mom almost get killed as a young teen, the moving from home to home and worrying about having food to eat or those absolutely fantastic times of getting my ass kicked by my stepmom. Wow! Thanks for telling me to stop being so selfish about this constant state of depression for about 26 years. I will go ahead and think about that happy childhood for you.

          • divya April 3, 2014 at 12:30 PM

            u would do that and that’s gr8! but some children are not so privileged to be so loved! and mind it they are not selfish!

          • akimitsu September 22, 2013 at 10:53 AM

            I’m not 100% sure I understand what you’re saying, so I apologize if this response isn’t what you were getting at.
            I believe that depression exists for all sorts of different reasons, and is different for every person. Perhaps what, from an outside point of view, can look like “selfishness” is just a symptom of depression. It is a self-defeating disease. I feel that expecting someone to use their thoughts/change their thought pattern to stop their depression is equivalent to expecting cancerous cells to not only stop being cancerous, but to start producing healthy, normal cells.

            There is, IMO, a very big, hard to explain difference between feeling depressed and having depression (as a disease). One can lead to the other, and they can both exist at the same time in one person, but they are different things. I don’t know if you have ever felt truly depressed, or suffered from depression. I hope you haven’t, because I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Trying to help someone understand what depression feels like is like explaining empathy to someone who has never felt it. People with depression CAN come off as selfish, but that is a symptom, not a cause.

          • Toma September 22, 2013 at 9:26 PM

            Thanks. I was more-so asking what you believe in and about life. God? No God? Life’s meaning? The definition of happiness? That sort of thing.

          • akimitsu September 26, 2013 at 1:57 PM

            Ah, got it. I believe there is something much greater than human beings, beyond what our minds can comprehend. I believe that whatever it is, it is benevolent, but also in a way most likely enigmatic to the human mind. I think that kindness is more important than anything. Beyond that, I can’t claim to know or believe in anything because my understanding is inherently limited. What about you?

          • Toma September 28, 2013 at 7:55 AM

            I believe that peace is found by serving God, and chaos is found by serving yourself.

          • Louise November 27, 2013 at 11:25 PM

            …oh yeah Toma, you are right…

          • Nadia September 17, 2013 at 8:37 PM


          • Katie September 29, 2013 at 11:00 PM

            Agreed! I don’t see why people even care about his opinion, he isn’t proving anything Scientifically. He is stating his opinion through a blog, and throwing in some “statistics”. He is confusing sadness with depression. I don’t think he has ever been exposed to mental illness, but I have first hand. My aunt had Bipolar Disorder, and the severity was devastating. She killed herself in March 2012, making light of mental illness because you think it’s a “mindset, or selfishness” is irresponsible as well as ignorant.

        • Reply girl August 13, 2013 at 12:39 PM

          Completely agree. This article might be helpful for people who are on the verge of finally overcoming depression, and just need a final kick of “tough love” to make it over the hump…other than that, every sentiment mentioned in this article…I can only imagine exacerbating existing mood disorder. Not saying that all depressed people need to simply be “babied” but I like your word choice of “misguided”

        • Reply boulton jeanette September 4, 2013 at 3:34 AM

          I agree with you you! Very insensitive, egoist & arrogant!!! Depression is not about being selfish.

      • Reply Lawerence frazier July 30, 2013 at 12:03 AM

        unbelievably shallow

      • Reply Mily August 6, 2013 at 4:27 AM

        This article just shows your utter ignorance about depression. The body mind and brain are connected. So depression is NOT about just thinking positively. Chemical imbalances have a major role to play. Also, in developing countries depression exists but it isn’t diagnosed and many of them end up committing suicide. Coming from a developing country myself I know about it.

      • Reply den August 9, 2013 at 8:29 AM

        You haven’t a clue you might have seen people go through it but that doesn’t make you an expert on the topic. Depression is different for everyone. Some of the ‘happiest’ people I know are suffering from it. But they don’t go complainin about it. Why? Because they don’t want to be annoying others with their problems yeah they are very selfish by doing that aren’t they? Unless you know what goes on or has gone on in the backrounds of people’s lives that have depression don’t claim to know better than the professionals you haven’t any idea what your talking about. Not one idea.I am one of those people with it for years and I’ve not had it easy but yet it’s only recently anyone knew I had it they only found out because it came up in discussion I can’t help I have it but i’m not being selfish I never was I work through it like everyone else tries to so if it was selfishness I guess someone would have realised before now don’t you think Wait I’m sure you’ll have an answer you already know everything don’t you doctor :-P

      • Reply kiddie kat August 17, 2013 at 2:30 PM

        I really don’t agree. You think that people put this on themselves? Is it really selfish to be bullied. No matter where you go you can actually hear people talking about you? Is it selfish that your dad abandoned you and actually told you that you’re worthless? Is it selfish that people get cheated on and then told that they “weren’t pretty enough to be with me”? It’s not selfish to take what people say to you seriously. Some people can’t help what people happen to them. So they shouldn’t be told there selfish for having a mental illness.

      • Reply mike August 26, 2013 at 10:26 AM

        I’m am a thirty year old male. Here’s a quick background. I didn’t have the best childhood. Nor the worst. But definitely family issues. After high school I did use prescription drugs for a few years. I don’t really recall ever being fully happy since I was a young kid. I definitely could get bye and feel somewhat happy. My point is I always had some mild form of depression. These past five years I’ve progressively gotten worse. About six months ago it hit me like a ton of bricks I almost wanted to leave work and quit. I fought to get through each day it only lasted that strongly for about a month. I was suicidal I can’t even explain the mental pain and stress this was. I couldnt sleep at nights. And I slept all day if I could. no intrest in anything that used to make me happy. And nothing selfish caused this yes I have normal stress and I drive for things. But please believe none of it was that important to make me feel the way I did. Stress absolutely contributes to the situation but this pain is on another level you can’t explain it to someone who hasn’t experienced it. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. There was nothing I could do to make it go away. It did subside. But I’m back to the way I was just somewhat happy. So to the author please believe you are completely wrong. This is a extremely serious issue. This pain is debilitating. I now see how people commit suicide. So I don’t know why you writing about something u obviousy have no clue about. I’m no wuss either believe me if I could have changed it by thought I would have believe me it’s bigger than that.

      • Reply justin August 31, 2013 at 7:18 AM

        then hows it i fill a state of sadniss for my siblings and why it is im stressed over if my gf lives with hapiness what about the people who arent depressed cause they dont have evrything but the people who are depressed over others with no hapiness or love? i mean no disrespect to your paragraphs on this topic……but could you explain my point of view i try not to be selfish because i know the value of family friends and even a bed so please fill this lad with some help

      • Reply Susanna Marie Gomez September 9, 2013 at 1:39 AM

        You are a total idiot. Depression is an organic disorder. If you understood anything at all, you would never have lifted your fingers to write such a stupid article about something you clearly know nothing about. You are just the sort of idiot who pushes people over the edge to where, when they can’t stand the mental pain and anguish any longer, they commit suicide. Great going, all because you fail to educate yourself. No, I don’t want any follow up from a total moron like you. You should be totally ashamed of yourself. Writing crap about something you won’t even self educate on. Dumbass.

      • Reply stephanie September 12, 2013 at 1:21 PM

        You an ignorant bastard. A person who clearly has NEVER dealt with depression. A person who is actually depressed is not going to sit there and complain about “I’m so ugly. I’m so fat. I have no friends” 1 people who truly suffer from depression usually don’t even talk about because they don’t want to come off as selfish. 2 it GOES DEEPER just “having no friends” It is a serious physiological problem. A person could think positive thought all day long but that won’t fucking cure it. So no people with depression are NOT selfish. You are are just to ignorant. People like YOU are the reason people struggling won’t get help out of fear that this is going to be a persons opinion on them. SO FUCK YOU AND FUCK AND SHOVE YOUR OPINION UP YOUR FUCKING ASS.

      • Reply Ayla September 14, 2013 at 10:18 PM

        You are a very uneducated individual. Your talking about people need to have spirit ….
        Just because someonebecomes depressed does not mean they don’t have spirit. I hope that someone who suffers depression does not read this and then go top themselves, thinking its not an illness. It is an illness. It is a very very serious illnes and not one that should be taken lightly. I hope that you or any off your close family members never suffer depression. It can ruin lives.

        Or do you have depression already and in denial? Trying to find a comfort in saying its something else? Its nothing to be ashamed off and over the years the stigma is being lifted.

        Only individuals like yourself hold onto that stigma.

        Please don’t write back with a sarcastic comment or at all, unless its to apologies to the millions of people you have just shat all over.

      • Reply rhys October 1, 2013 at 7:18 PM

        Interesting all the people who have depression read this and insist it’s real.are only trying confirming their own belief system that something in their body or something they eat or something they have no control over is what is responsible for the depression. It’s not me it’s something else something tangible that exsists ur wrong it’s perspective to all who are depressed take time out forget the modern world modern pressures etc and what happens depression lifts ur brain is the single most powerful organ u have at ur command learn it and master it and fill up ur day so u never get time to even ask urself am I depressed just flow the emotions in and out feel them recognise them for what they are and move on thr choice is urs

        • Reply Sarah October 4, 2013 at 1:24 AM

          If depression doesn’t exist, how about bipolar? Schizophrenia? Runs in my family, I have had 2 people I know institutionalised. My dad has aspergers/high functioning autism – I have bipolar II. I don’t want it, as much as someone who got screwed and ended up with Huntingtons wants it, I understand some people never feel it- good for you. The writer serving god does stop depression, if it does why did he give people diseases such as these? To overcome them? Lame. Just like the Mormon church – if you’re black and repent enough your skin will turn white. If you really serve god, you ought not to judge those things which you do not understand and leave it to him. If you don’t understand but one day get this epiphany “Boy, fat people are lazy let me go win on the internetz” you also need to stop and think of other physiological issues that cause people to accumulate fat. One shoe does not fit all, you’re leaving no grey area.

          • H October 4, 2013 at 12:49 PM

            “Depression runs in the family”. What nonsense! Mental illness is NOT genetic. If your parents, cousins, uncles or whoever in your family has depression it doesnt mean you have to get it too. Ever heard of “monkey see, monkey do”? Depression is a behaviour, and if you can stop let it happening to you then your children and their children will never even know what it is. By the way, depression doesnt come from God, it comes from Satan. He hates families and want to destroy them. God only let it happen to you to see how strong your faith is in Him.

          • Toma October 4, 2013 at 12:50 PM


          • Fuck you November 16, 2013 at 10:27 AM

            Dear Lost human,

            God doesnt exist.

            Fuck yourself

          • Louise November 27, 2013 at 11:21 PM

            yes He does, you havent tried Him, the bible says taste and see that God is good.

          • M May 31, 2014 at 5:47 AM

            Funny. I’ve “tasted” God since I was born. I saw only hurt and judgment made by people who claim their creator wishes for everyone to love one another. Makes me wonder why my heart tells me Mother Earth is the true creator. Yet I don’t try to make people believe in her, because I know she wouldn’t approve. With her I feel safe loving just by laying in Her grass, under the shade of Her trees. I see all of the beauty she makes, yet I’ve been depressed as a Christian and I still become depressed as a Pagan. Because it’s who I am, and it just happens to me. I don’t need to read a book written by human hands to tell me what my Mother feels. But I know she accepts me as the depressive, bisexual, loving, green-thumbed, and meek woman that I am. And she doesn’t want me to change, because as long as I bring no harm to anyone she loves me. Can the same be said about your creator who makes you repent for small “sins” on your hands and knees?

          • Amazon November 23, 2013 at 9:58 AM

            Complete and utter bullshit you smug, self-serving asshole! You don’t know shit regarding what you are writing about, go learn some Science. YOU are SATAN you are hurting sick people. I hope you get depression and kill yourself the world would be a better place. Fuck off and go to hell where you belong.

          • KAMUI December 31, 2013 at 2:39 PM

            If you believe in God… why do you challenge God’s creation?
            was our bodies not made by God? is all that is in existence made by God? has it not been proven there is a such thing as science and mechanics? whom are you to decide God’s decree?

            I am not sure about a God. But i am sure that religion is a manmade creation.

            Several people have made good arguments. the depression Toma speaks of is of his own observation/experience. it is not everyone’s. I am familiar with what he speaks of though. but what he speaks of as “selfishness” is not depression. he’s gotten it confused with “malingering”. It comes from today’s common false view that of “self-entitlement”. Its the spoiled child’s view that the world should work in favor of the spoiled child…. without any effort from the individual.

            if you believe in God, then you should not question why there is “variation”. and thus variation makes… tall and short people, fat and skinny people, and all types of other physical variation. some of us are smarter, and others not so. Thus so, there is variation in the human physical body. some people are born with all types of physical deformities, and some born with mental deformities. Can you honestly tell the developmentally disabled person he/she is not so??? i believe that is the stance you “Toma” have taken.
            I suffer from depression. So did some individuals in my family. So did Ernest Hemingway. So does Mariel Hemingway. It has been proven that genes are passed down.

            There is more things that people have mentioned that i agree with or not. However, addressing each one can take some time and the patience i was not born with.

            Perhaps i can follow up later. but now i have to be selfish and surf the net some more.

          • justin October 6, 2013 at 12:12 PM

            Look at this highly educated comment right here…

          • Faye October 20, 2013 at 8:07 AM

            Actually your wrong mental illness has genetic factors such as bipolar and schizopherna are both inherited depression to can have genetic inhertied factors. As someone who suppers from a mood disorder I can not control my disorder and often my symptoms will occur before my negative thoughts. I don’t believe in a god but I do believe in spreading posetivty and helping those around me. Despite of helping others and doing my best to be posetive i still get sick. You won’t understand what its like to be unwell because you have never had it. Please do not give hurtful advice to people without any basic understanding of the illness just because a family memeber has suffered does not mean you have a basic understanding. Please research what you are talking about before spreading more BS.

          • jessica November 7, 2013 at 4:45 AM

            You are right, having a genetic predisposition to depression or any disease for that matter does not predict you will get it. There are many factors involved in developing any disease, and in illnesses like depression stress plays a huge role (evidence suggests that it plays a role moreso than genetics). In fact, in psychology, there is a diathesis-strses model suggesting that a diathesis (genetic predisposition) and stress (significant life stress) work together in causing mental illness – with only one or the other, you do not get the illness. You need to have quite a bit of both genes and stress interacting in order to develop the illness.
            Depression CAN run in the family, there IS a genetic link. This is supported by countless studies and emperical evidence, unlike any of your opinion-based claims.
            You are right, however, when you say that the person will not get it just because it runs in the family – not because genes don’t play a role, but because genes don’t play the ONLY role.
            Depression is not a behavior, Satan does not cast depression on people. It is not a sin or work of the devil to have a mental illness. Mental illnesses aren’t all that different from physical, as most have physical causes, yet that is an idea that many people seem to be unable to grasp. In addition, many of the people who get depression believe in God just as much as the rest of the general population who do not have it.
            While are all entitled to our own opinions, but yours is quite off-base. Please have more understanding of things before making such sweeping generalizations.

          • Louise November 27, 2013 at 11:23 PM

            …I agree!!!…THANKS…

          • newzbug November 28, 2013 at 4:40 AM

            So what issues have made you so angry at other peoples’ illnesses? Is it that when you were sick, no one helped you? So you don’t want anyone else to have help? I feel so sorry for you with your limited mind. Even “GOD” helped the ill of all kinds. But YOU think you are so much better than others that you can tell them what to feel, who to be and what is right. People like you are dangerous.

          • Marie January 7, 2014 at 10:35 AM

            I was following (albeit not agreeing with) you until the whole Satan thing…

      • Reply Daniel Madden October 7, 2013 at 11:31 PM

        This article if demonstratively fallacious. For one depression ranges in degree of severity, and it does have a physiological basis, it is not a falsification; tell me why your opinion is valid? What qualifications do you have to even speak on the matter?

        Depression is more than ‘selfishness’ as you so wrongly stated. Mental illness is rooted in far more than some misinformed diagnosis of a personality trait. Depression can be caused by so many things and it is so pervasive that people (including yourself), a member of the public with nothing but a lay mans knowledge of Psychology will conclude it is a concoction.

        Depression’s causal basis involves not only a physiological disturbance but a cognitive disturbance.Learned hopelessness is an example of this. This states that when an organism learns that their actions cannot change the negative experience they are feeling, they over time believe that their actions cannot change their circumstances.

        Please, do your research before you pump out another painfully misguided blog post that actually causes me to reply in not even anger but just general fear. If you think this, god knows how many more people feel the same way.

      • Reply me October 16, 2013 at 9:32 AM

        think positive and you will feel positive. Bullshit

      • Reply me October 16, 2013 at 9:41 AM

        They have to deal with your self-inflicted bullshit the same way you do. It’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on them, and at the end of it all, when you do snap yourself out of it and ‘suddenly’ feel better, the truth will come to light. And that truth?

        Your depression was all in your head. It wasn’t real. You were never actually depressed. You were just being selfish. And if you refuse to admit that you were simply being selfish, then you still are.

        You seem pretty pissed off. Let me guess someone with depression didn’t put YOU in the spotlight enough? look at your entire article and tell me its not screaming attention whore

        • Reply Ari October 16, 2013 at 10:21 AM

          Yep. This guy is mad at the world. You should read some of his other stuff. He is pissed at homosexuals too. Thinks they should be celibate. You gotta be a Christian in order to be worthy avoiding to him. I can only imagine the anti Semitic comments he has floating in his head. Seems like a great person to be around, eh?

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:48 PM

            I bet you can imagine them..I bet you can.

        • Reply NL April 9, 2014 at 10:47 PM

          Reality: we all have opinions and seek attention. Others have the freedom not to give it any consideration.

      • Reply TK October 16, 2013 at 10:00 PM

        You think you know what you are talking about but you know nothing, probably because you’ve never had anything bad in your life that would make all the “bad thoughts in your head.” You may have had relatives that were depressed but you don’t know what its like and if you told them the same crap your blabbering your mouth about on here then that makes you insensitive and selfish. You just sound like a douche and closed minded.

      • Reply C. Pratt October 21, 2013 at 8:03 AM

        This is a totally thoughtless and judgmental article. It doesn’t deserve so many replies. Your assessment is just as unfortunate as all those people who would label melancholy with all kinds of DSM designations. There are some people who are doing poorly in life, and don’t see a way out of their financial or life predicaments ie. where they live in a dangerous neighborhood, lost their job and can’t find another, don’t have a support network etc…..After someone kills themselves that’s when people say all these things they would have done to help the person, if they had only called. Well, your article is evidence of the kind thought people who are suffering from sadness can be up against, and why they decide no one cares because so many people just want to teach them a lesson about their “bad attitude.”

      • Reply Cattrina Hull October 25, 2013 at 10:03 AM

        I’ve been sitting in a funk for over 4 months now. I’ve tried medications that just made me feel worse. I must say you are right. It is very selfish for me to sit here and be down and out. I was diagnosed with bipolar and major depression. It all started in my head and I know it. I do believe we have the power to make ourselves feel better by the way we think about things. I’ve tried though and I’m still sitting here. My relationships with my family and friends are going down hill because of how I feel. The only way to explain how I feel is that a piece of me died. I seriously woke up one morning and didn’t feel the same anymore. My energy was gone and all I want to do is sleep. I’ve even thought of suicide. I look at old pictures and see how I was so much more happier and now I’m not. I, I, I…..I guess I just want to be this way

        • Reply Ed October 25, 2013 at 12:07 PM

          I found in tests done when a lobster is given anti-depressant they become aggressive. Reading some of these letters clarifys that. I then found when looking, the area of your brain called Amydala is where fear occurs. So a serotonin uptake may help you with energy to defend yourself. But can’t help you when another area is bringing you down. When therapists discovered that one dose of mdma could treat ptsd,they banned it. No one should have a life time of depression. But that’s how they earn a living.

        • Reply Toma November 6, 2013 at 1:11 PM

          Do you have a vision for how you actually want to be?

      • Reply Mariah C. November 1, 2013 at 9:25 AM

        While I agree with the thesis of the article, I think you should’ve changed the title to “You’re not depressed, you’re just not grateful for the things you have.” For the people who are “depressed” they tend to take small remarks like “you’re selfish” and agonize about themselves even further. So from the get go, we should make more positive comments to put them on the right track for a less self-centered mindset.

        • Reply Toma November 6, 2013 at 2:33 PM

          But grateful to who?

      • Reply Dennis Mariegaard Jensen November 2, 2013 at 5:07 PM

        You obviously havn´t met people with severe depression. It is a very real medical diagnose. The worst thing you can tell a depressed persion, is that he is being selfish or it´s all in his head. I know the behaviour can seem selfish to people who doesn´t have this diagnose but it really is a diagnose that people cant just stop having on their own. I know lots of people say they feel depressed for a short while in their life and that can for many people not really be called depression…I do agree with you on the comparison on other countries and your view on appreciating smaller things in life but don´t judge depression to be unreal.

      • Reply Tami November 3, 2013 at 1:52 AM

        You’re not intelligent, you’re antagonistic.

      • Reply georgia November 6, 2013 at 10:19 PM

        Selfishness is a contagious paradox and it causes “depression”. Contagious because if you start thinking about how selfish somebody is, “all they do is think about themselves, they never think about how I feel, they don’t consider MY emotions and it really upsets ME”. The person then becomes selfish. This is paradoxical, selfishness causes itself.
        Depression is realism, depression is when people on this earth realise that people honestly aren’t that great. Think about it; you never see anybody saying “I feel so depressed because there aren’t enough trees” or “I feel so depressed because the sunshine is too warm in the summer”. It is the people, we’re all messed up.

        Now I am by no means depressed, but there is no solution to depression if we don’t all start to empathize. Can you all imagine if everybody put others first? Can you imagine how great life would feel? A harmonic and hopeful place to live. Selfishness causes depression. Depression is just the realisation of it.

      • Reply Steve. November 14, 2013 at 8:45 PM

        Why does your opinion matter? You have obviously never suffered a mental illness! Yes depression is a selfish illness, it turns your focus onto yourself because you are trying to work out what the fuck is wrong with you! So if there is nothing wrong, why can i become depressed when things are going well? Just had a baby, getting promoted, happy with everything and then a total flip in my reactions to everything in life, become withdrawn and trapped in my thoughts. It has come when i am unhappy, it has come in the summer, in the winter when i have had money and been loved or no money and worn out! Maybe its the word “DEPRESSION” as everyone uses it even if only a little unhappy or maybe its demonic possession. But whatever it is called it is Very Fucking real to me!!!!
        One time i was like it for 18months…..
        As a last resort i had a course of E.C.T.
        Was back in work after t weeks as if the last 18 months hadn’t happened… Explain that!
        Was it a righting of the chemicals after the convultions ( as was first noticed in epileptic patients feeling slightly happier after a fit) or did it drive out the demon until he gets in the next time, Me, i couldn’t really care less what it’s called as long as i can get out of it!
        Maybe there are more cases reported in the west because the west has somewhere to report it :-/ . Or is it the fact that alot of people use it as an excuse to get out of work like the bad back ‘ invisible ‘ illness.

      • Reply Anna January 3, 2014 at 3:30 AM

        I hate to say this, but I agree. Our thoughts have tremendous impact on our health, mental and physical. I have been depressed on and off for years, but all the while living a full life; eating healthy, raising a child, working out, being responsible etc, good job, family, friends. It’s when my thinking gets negative that I get depressed. To live a life of constant outward gratitude would negate depression, but it is freaking hard to do all the time. Am I pre-disposed to negative thinking? Was it my up bringing? Very likely. But it is within my POWER and control to change my thought process. Very hard. But, this article has helped. Thank you

      • Reply Leah January 4, 2014 at 11:10 PM

        Ok obviously you have never suffered from depression and don’t understand what it is whatsoever!!! I agree that your writing is very good but your idea of a mental sickness that cannot be controlled???!!! That’s what is selfish. I’m sorry but you’re being very unfair.

      • Reply Carlos Abreu January 22, 2014 at 2:29 AM

        I agree with you wholeheartedly. I deal with my partner’s so-called depression on a daily basis. Anything can set it off. It’s terrible. I should be the one trying to jump off a bridge. The real victims in all of this are not the depressed, it’s the people around them.

        • Reply lol u April 3, 2014 at 12:36 PM

          u r just selfish and donnot give A FLYING FUCK about ur partner! lol…poor her!

      • Reply marie January 27, 2014 at 2:25 AM

        well i think depression is complex and not just because of the ‘centre’. i’m a psychologist myself and its people like you who have never been so low as them and have no compassion that make it worse. they feel guilty then, misunderstood and they feel like they haven’t the right to be sad. they repress their feelings, don’t think about the situatio anymore, guess what? that leads often to ptsd with depression, long term lack of energy and sleep problems, not being able to work, without knowing why. Then it seems the person had a trauma, beaten and neglected when younger, and a unconscious belief that the world was dangerous and people weren’t to trust. its working trough that trauma, getting insight in the problems and helping the patient face it instead of denial and disscociative behavior, helping them cope with stress ( they have been under stress to long, and that why they can’t handle the same amount stress as’ normal’ people, they have gone over heir breaking point wich everbody has) empathise with those people, give them the trust, guidance and healthy empathic relationship and most get better and cured. when a person is raped, its very important to talk and have social support or the chance its great to develop depression. its important to have friends in the adolescence, very important for the self worth, not going in criminal behavior, and good school results. so yes’ i have no friends is very bad for that person and is not selfish. we are social animals, one who doesn’t get love will never be a sane person that is optimistic. reason why their is more depression in western countries is because its accepted. but look in all countries suicide is a big problems. in socialistic countries it is more outed by psychosomatic complaints because its not accepted. people who are depressed work sometimes ver hard and also don’t have time to think. they escape in work but become more drained and exhausted everyday because of unsolved issues. those people aren’t selfish, the have disfunctional views of the world and its my job to correct that view step by step by and giving them insight and alternative behavior. its not a choice to be depressed. i don’t know a signle person who was raped when he was a child ( a very sensitive period) who was neglected and teased for a long time that is able to get sane by himself. they aren’t selfish, they are broken and weak, and they need someone who has the patience to change their views and toughts (wich are often unconscious at first), and coping styles and its important to get the family involved so they can handle the situation right and so they can have understandment for the patients. sorry for my english

        • Reply Toma January 27, 2014 at 2:16 PM

          Hey Marie. You sound like a good person, and I am sure you help a lot of people, but you will help so many more if you stop labelling them as having ‘illnesses’ that don’t exist. Once you label people you alleviate them of their responsibility to self-correct. If you, as a trusted psychologist, tell someone who doesn’t have my convictions that they have an illness that a) doesn’t actually exist, and b) is not their fault, how in the hell are they going to fix it? It’s like pointing at a void and telling me to destroy whatever is in it, then watching me swing a sledgehammer at nothing but air.

          Why don’t we give a name to people who suffer from PTSD and Depression? Let’s call it Pospression. In the three seconds it took us to invent Pospression, nothing has changed in these people either psychologically or at a cellular level, yet they now magically suffer from it. Because of our ‘discovery’ of Pospression, there can now be a whole new category of therapists, and a whole new treatment methodology. We can even write books about it with lots of case studies and statistics that university students can study in Pospression 101. Pharmaceutical companies can invent new medication for Pospression that is a mix between Zoloft and Xanax, and they can call it Zolax. This is what depression is, and this is what you are doing to people by telling them that they suffer from it. It is NOT an illness. I find it ironic that therapists are the last ones to understand that.

          If you want to use your good nature to help even more people, don’t tell them what you think they have. Do all of the other good shit you said, but stop labelling them. If you do have to label them, because that’s what you’ve been blindly taught to do, then do it in your mind.

          • marie January 28, 2014 at 10:41 AM

            heej Toma,
            ok lets get that straight, i don’t label people. We psychologists, well at least in my country, are trained a long time to think critical and are educated at least five years (education based on valid research). I don’t label people. I don’t say to them that they have a mental disorder. Thats indeed giving the people like a death sentence for depression for example. But we have to use them if we want psychiatric support to describe a medicine. Those medicins don’t help in the long run, thats true, but they help the persons who suffer so much that they aren’t able to anything about their situation, medication gives them a short relief so that i can begin to work with them. And its not that it is a definitive sentence when the person is ‘cured’. Well, i certainly, after getting the perspective of my patiënt ‘completely’, give them responsibilty of their problems too. Seems like you have a completely wrong view of psychologists. My patiënts have to work during the sessions, they do a lot of things, a lot, they certainly take responsibility and action. I make also a whole schema of the problems with all the underlying factors (in the perspective of the patiënt and my knowledge). That remembers me hah :p One even did let make a poster of it. And belief me, its confronting to see your own faults and responsibilities of your ‘disorder’ too, and that can only with a good build therapeutic bound and a lots of empathy with the help of specific technics. Those labels are needed so people over different countries can do research and talk about the same problems without completely different understanding of the concept . Its merely a practical thing to communicate that is very important, we wouldn’t be able to communicate about depression now or autisme or OCD if we hadn’t a concept in or head and a label for it. If it is a ilness or not don’t really matter to me, fact is it need to be ‘cured’ and most people want to be cured from it. Let me tell you something very personal about my life. I suffered cancer, in my ovarians, i can’t have children because of that. But it didn’t matter how tired it was, i had still hope, probably sucked more for the people around me. The ptsd i was diagnosed with after a horrible experience, i don’t gonna talk about it here and it doesn’t matter now, was the most horrible thing in my life and felt like the worst ilness. I did want to be it a ilness and recognised. Because you know, ill people get compassion and understandment, i never had that for my ptsd, and that was maybe even worse than the trauma itself. People couldn’t handle see me so pale and tired and still working, they or ignored me because i wasn’t that fun anymore, (i didn’t complain or anything or wasn’t rude, always friendly) or just minimazed what was going on and indirectly insulting me of being weak. Well, lukely and finally i’m stronger than ever before and have become a very ambitious woman and a fighter. I have times with sadness i never felt before that, i feel less happy, once i was that girl always smiling, but i’m more driven. Sorry, i’m getting of topic now. What i wanted to say by that is that some patiënts ask me what is wrong, want a label, not to release the responsibility ( i always call a patient like that a person with adhd for exampme, not a adhd’er), but to be recognised (that it isn’t entirely their fault), or to get helped in a centre that fits their needs that are for too long neglected. Like autistic persons who got help far too late. Also for example for depression, how longer a person is depressed, how more difficult it is to feel real again. Not tp be some numb person without a sense of self walking like a dead zombie anymore.

          • Mala January 28, 2014 at 2:30 PM

            I apologize for the knee-jerk reaction. I’m not well and surely my defensiveness is evidence of that. I appreciate your well thought-out and honest response. TBH you sound a lot more grounded than most psychologists I know, including the ones in my own family (who I’ve never spoken to about my issues as that would be a huge conflict of interest). I appreciate you distinguishing between labeling people, and labeling symptoms as a means of understanding and communication between professionals, but be aware that not everyone thinks that way.

            I’m sorry that I was ugly in my response and I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to such an aggressive reply. I’ve just been having a hard time lately and I’ve finally gotten to the point where the only person who can help me is me. I want everyone to understand they can help themselves! And that they’re the only ones.

            I agree that medicine can help a lot of people get to the point where they can do the work, but too many people start popping pills and think that’s all they have to do, or do it for too long. I have been on medication. I wasted 5 years of my teens thinking they could help. I haven’t seriously need help since then until now, and the SSRIs actually triggered some horrifying other psychosis that I had not been experiencing, so I’m adamant to never go back.

            Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are a credit to your field.

        • Reply Mala January 28, 2014 at 11:31 AM

          I stopped reading after, “people like you who has never been as low as them.”

          I’m not going to go into my personal details, except to say that I have suffered every kind of trauma you can imagine and as recently as last week I couldn’t have a pair of tweezers, a bottle of bleach, a fucking bottle of VITAMINS in my possession. Don’t fucking tell me I don’t know low. NO ONE has more compassion for the mentally ill. Certainly not a “psychologist,” which I doubt you are.

          Don’t fucking speak up if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

          Of all the mental health “professionals” I have seen, (somewhere between 7-10) exactly ONE of them has been helpful. Psychologists are some of the most fucked up people I know. You think that just because you spent some time studying psychology you have any idea how humans work. Everything is nice in theory. But most of you people practice for shit.

          Honestly the nurses in the facilities have been more helpful than 90% of the doctors I’ve seen. Especially this last bout. Every doctor I saw just fucked me up and exacerbated the situation. Don’t fucking get me started on psychiatrists.

          Approach the situation like you’re talking to someone who can’t drive because it’s too tempting to drive off every overpass, and then I will consider what you have to say.

          Until then I will back up this “selfish” theory with all the strength of my convictions. No evidence you can present me will outweigh the knowledge and experience I have just living my damn life. How dare you label people and tell them they’re weak? THAT is more damaging than anything I could possibly say… Heaven forbid you encourage people to believe in themselves and their own potential…

          It’s assholes like you that keep people “sick.”

          • Natalie April 9, 2014 at 10:54 PM

            It is not his responsibility, nor anyone else’s, to give you what you need to make it through the day, or to influence how you think. God’s will is that each of his children grow their strength through their relationship to him. If you’re not spiritual you can discard that.

            Perhaps you can allow others to express themselves by not allowing it to affect you as a personal insult. I did not experience Toma’s reply as aggressive.

      • Reply A realist February 5, 2014 at 7:40 PM

        Ignorance is also selfish, And you are very Ignorant to assume you can walk in anybodys shoes is disgraceful of you and shows selfish up bringing,You are in fact a sad Bigot To say depression is selfish, The third world is not only where there is hardship,Starvation happens all over the world open YOUR EYE’S and more importantly your small mind,God forgive your children if ever they become unwell because it is clear as a Human being you would not have the mind and Heart to help them, Rape happens in every country in the world,I myself have Depression it’s not a state of mind it is’nt something you ask for and whilst it is your own worst enemy so is the the man that put me there,How dare you say thank you to people who say they appreciate what you say,
        Your Parents must be so proud of you………..
        You yourself will be judged But i suppose you dont beleive in the Lord either you cant do or you wouldnt be so small minded,I will tell you a book to go away and read it’s called the BIBLE go read it you may learn something,You small minded little man……..

      • Reply A realist February 5, 2014 at 8:08 PM

        Also to add to my earlier comment,
        I wonder how many Truely Depressed people have read your utter Crap and actually killed themselves?? You must certainly have blood on your hands but do you ever get told that?? Are you a Doctor??? because you have clearly never studied, I tell you something right now people like you who have proberly been the cause of pushing a good unwell person over the edge should spend some time in a prison get beaten,Fucked forcibly up the arse by a big man and then say Hey Ho thats life beleive me you would be pretty fucking depressed you dont shut down and say all ok that didnt happen,
        Your an idiot,You dont know me but you label me,I dont know you but i hate you and hope you burn in hell , What a horrible thing for me to say but hey if the shoe fits lace that bitch up and wear it, sleep well at night people like you always do

      • Reply Your Mother February 6, 2014 at 12:20 PM

        not everyone agrees with your 2 22. So go phuc yourself.

      • Reply Jane February 10, 2014 at 6:03 AM

        Hey I think this is completely insensitive and you should be ashamed of yourself. This obviously sounds like you have never suffered from major depression or suicidal thoughts. I suffer from PTSD and developed major depression because I was molested and raped as a child. Deep down I feel disgusting, angry and worthless because sexual abuse ruined my life. I have good days, sure. All people with depression do. But there are days when I physically can’t get out of bed or go anywhere because one little thing can trigger a meltdown. Because no matter what, I have to carry around those memories of being abused. I have to try not give anything away because I don’t want anyone’s pity.
        So god forbid my heart is always heavy and I have random meltdowns. I’m sorry I freak out when I’m touched or left alone with a stranger. I deeply apologize for being so selfish that I hide from people because I’m useless. I feel so guilty for being upset when I had my life ruined at the age of three and crying uncontrollably when I have a flashback. How selfish of me.

        Go fuck yourself.

      • Reply Gillian February 11, 2014 at 5:57 PM

        I understand what you’re trying to say here, however I must respectfully disagree. I have been a sufferer of depression and anxiety for most of my life. I don’t blame anyone for it, I’m just sad. I’m still a contributing member of society, I go to work and university and just “suck it up”. I’m hardly selfish as I do a lot for everyone. But nobody, not even you can possibly fathom the tumultuous struggle it is just to get put of bed each day. To force a smile and to be happy because let’s face it, nobody likes a debby downer. But for you to say all of those hurtful things in this article; is just presumptuous and small minded. The truth is, everybody is different and yes, even a person struggling with depression can still be functional.

      • Reply Harry Kennedy February 12, 2014 at 1:50 AM

        You are the biggest pig headed fool and i hope you experience every kind of torture that makes people DEPRESSED, Then you will understand how hard it is to try and be happy, to try and ‘get over it’ what a fucking ignorant bastard, My best friend died because of people like you telling her she is selfish for being upset about her abusive childhood, you’re article spits on her grave, she was the least selfish human being that i have ever met, she never told her own mother because she didn’t want to upset her! what a nasty person you really are, god forbid anyone with depression reads the title of this ‘YOU’RE NOT DEPRESSED. YOU’RE SELFISH’ that could tip them over the edge, making someone feel bad because they are depressed, how low do you actually want to go?? The people that have made them depressed and ‘ill’ are the selfish ones. You can not expect someone suddenly see a child dying in africa and say, my past is nothing ! i need to get over it and cherish my life! and live happily ever after. NO. I have never seen such a display of ignorance. This is so offensive of you to post this and a danger to the sufferers out there.

      • Reply maximuss February 28, 2014 at 10:53 PM

        You are wrong!. I know it is hard to be around a depressed person but you clearly have no idea what it is like to be inside a persons head who has depression. This is a mental illness which causes so much pain and heartbreak to the sufferer and those around him/her. You obviously believe that every person with depression chooses to be in such pain and turmoil, and also choose to inflict pain on their loved ones because they are selfish?? you have no idea!!!!!!! . The only positive I took from your post was the quote at the beginning, I feel sorry for your ignorance but I thank you for that.

      • Reply nidge01 April 6, 2014 at 5:13 PM

        Depression is in fact a serious illness, and like any other mental illness, it can kill you if left untreated. Don’t be too shallow to think that because you’ve never been diagnosed with it, the same should apply to all humankind. A lot of people seem to think depression is merely an excuse teenagers use to get attention and mistake sadness for depression. So you seriously think there cannot be a condition which can cause a person to have negative thoughts all the time? Where did you get your PhD on the matter at hand?

      • Reply GREEN April 7, 2014 at 12:26 PM

        SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THESE ARE ALL LIES!

      • Reply Alex April 12, 2014 at 7:20 AM

        I have Clinical Depression.
        I go to a university that I love, I make straight A’s, I won a scholarship a while back, I’m also a student worker, and I love my job.
        I wrote a play for my Intro to Theater class, and all I get is praise from my professor. I’m not a theater major, but I did love my professor and my class.
        I go home, and I get to relax, and go to sleep, and go to school again the next day.
        On the weekends I get to hang out with my beautiful girlfriend. I love her and she loves me.
        I have no complaints about my life. I love every part of it, and I love everything I do for my college, my girlfriend, my family, and everything in between.
        I have Clinical Depression.
        I feel depressed constantly, and I have nothing to be depressed about.
        And I have been feeling this way for the past 9 months.
        Here’s my story:
        In High School, I really know what I wanted to do with my life. I had a weird sadness that my life was going nowhere. Again during this time of my life I had nothing to be sad about, it’s just that I was sad. In my Junior year of High school, I started having seizures. Multiple ones, at least once a week. Then I got on a medication called Depakote. My seizures stopped and I felt happy. I found a new path in my life and I was ready to take on the world. In fact my seizures stopped so completely that when I went to my neurologist, they said that I had absolutely no chance of having a seizure again. So I stopped taking my medication, knowing that I would be safe…..and then it happened. Depression. Clinical Depression. Apparently my medication, Depakote, was also a mood stabilizer. Apparently that’s why I found my new path in life and that’s why I became so happy.
        So I spent the next 9 months of my life hating myself. I continued to do what I love, I continued to make straight A’s and follow my dreams. I continued to have a great relationship with my girlfriend because thank god she was so understanding.
        There was nothing to be sad about.

        So you do NOT know anything about Clinical Depression.
        Let’s look at it this way. My seizures were caused my a certain part of my brain that wasn’t functioning properly. Depression is the same way, Depression is caused by a lack of neurotransmitters in the brain, making certain parts of the brain not function.
        Telling me that Depression is caused by my own selfishness is like telling me that my seizures were caused by my selfishness. My brain caused my seizures and Depression. Not my selfishness.

        Quite frankly, when you come and tell me that the absolute worst time of my life is caused by my own selfishness, it’s incredibly childish, and thoughtless that you would even consider it.
        I would have shut your mouth before you start talking about something that you clearly don’t understand.

      • Reply cc April 16, 2014 at 1:28 PM

        This is horribly offensive and scientifically inaccurate.

      • Reply Maygin McEwn April 23, 2014 at 9:25 AM

        Depression is a mental health issue. Most of the people described in this article are miserable people not depressed. There are many different kinds situational, clinical, chemically induced, etc. You know what you are feeling and only you know the severity of it. People should not be putting information out there that they do not actually have. Unless you experience it, live with it, have seen MRI’s with the change in the brain then you really don’t have any room to speak. I am not saying to not state your opinion, but quit trying to pass it off as fact.

      • Reply sara April 28, 2014 at 12:14 PM

        you obviously lead a very sheltered and charmed life. your broad brush approach is really just that-broad. do you really think “poor countries” bother with windshield surveys? asking if those that are repressed if they are “depressed?” really? that particular comment shows a glaring naiveté on your part. there are people out there that have had very traumatizing experiences, which could lead to depression, believe it or not- shocking I know, people who can’t simply wish their misery and nightmares away by “sitting under a tree” and blissfully making it disappear. it’s understandable that your yuppie lifestyle has perhaps protected you from the real nightmares in society.

        very selfish on your part to assume that all experiences of depression are the same. you are the one being selfish here. congratulations, you are a certified hypocrite- with a healthy dose of narcissism to boot-since you are playing psychologist, I will too.

        • Reply Natalie May 12, 2014 at 9:50 PM

          Sara, all I saw was your ability to take someone’s given right to express a belief and turn it into a reason to make that person an undeserving and entitled ingrate who is responsible for your and others’ depression. You turned something that simply exists into the receptacle for your misplaced anger, because you think your empathy keeps you from living an unhindered life. No one on the earth is immune from witnessing pain and suffering, nor from enduring it.

          That’s all I gather from your comment. I can’t agree on your evaluation of Toma.

      • Reply Blablabla you know nothing lol May 11, 2014 at 11:28 AM

        I agree that’s the general truth. But I also know that there are people who simply suffer for how people hurt each other…kill each other… for how humans take over all the beauty for greed and etc etc etc….HUGE list. It’s truth it’s mainly a selfish thing but you’re also speaking lacking on experience I’m pretty sure of that…
        And no, I’m not depressed. The way I see it “This world is merciless, and it’s also very beautiful”. To find such pure beauty you must co-exist with tons of crap. And I’m willing to do it, with a smile on my face. And that’s belief in yourself more than anything… Which is also selfish in some way…
        Selfishness isn’t a bad thing all the time…

        • Reply Natalie May 12, 2014 at 9:55 PM

          Selfishness/emptiness exist in all of us. Without some level of it, we’d be useless in all ways. There’s no worth in evaluating those qualities as good or bad.

          • Raddmiral May 13, 2014 at 7:06 AM

            If we’re not evaluating whether being selfish is good or bad, then what value does this article bring anybody anywhere?

          • Natalie May 13, 2014 at 7:09 AM

            The purpose? To express thoughts and beliefs. There is no absolute truth that we can arrive at.

          • Toma May 13, 2014 at 7:29 AM

            This is an important point. To understand what the article is about, we must understand what selfishness is. People immediately assume it is something objectively bad. While it can lead to bad things, it could also be viewed as simply a state of being, which is neither good nor bad.

            Personally, I consider it an inferior state of being born of the ego. A self-centred person is more likely to do self-centred things, and those things are, on the whole, more likely to do more harm than good.

          • Simbarashe June 5, 2014 at 12:02 PM

            How egotistical is to say all that without the simple acknowledgment that you might be wrong. The truth isn’t available to everyone xD you self centered lunatic making this just so you can have more attention

          • Natalie June 5, 2014 at 10:20 PM

            I don’t see the need to apologize for expressing a thought and to offer a public disclaimer that one might be wrong.

      • Reply souls adrift May 13, 2014 at 11:16 AM

        You kinda had a decent thing going for a second.. then you messed up. “Cherish the smallest moments that life offers, like sitting under a tree on a beautiful day, the breeze against your skin, with not a thought in the world.” Well, I feel guilty for not being able to do this. How I would love to, but I can’t block my negative thoughts as hard as I try. You clearly have no credibility to speak about depression, you don’t understand it at all. And then I look over and see that you’re pro-religion. Man, religion has fucked the world in the ass more than anything else. “Pro-religion”. Go fuck yourself.

      • Reply joural May 15, 2014 at 1:35 AM

        You’re right, that feedback was brilliant, well thought out, and explains exactly why he agreed with you.

        On the other hand, are you a trained psychologist? Do you know anything about what you’re talking about? Have you ever been depressed? Known anyone who was depressed, and actually learned about it as a result? Have you ever used your access to the internet to find actual opinions that disagree with you, from professionals? Honestly, this is so uninformed it hurts.

        • Reply Natalie May 15, 2014 at 11:36 PM

          Perhaps changing your expectations of Toma and the world will result in less hurt on your part.

      • Reply Rocca May 16, 2014 at 1:51 AM

        Where are your citations? You are stating a personal opinion as fact. This is not an authentic argument. Where is your evidence, medical or otherwise?

      • Reply ed May 29, 2014 at 6:49 PM

        Pro religion, ha ha!!!!! You’re the most ignorant, judgmental, hateful and the farthest from a Christian. Who the hell do you think you are judging what you don’t know. When you’re in hell where you belong Karma is going to show you an eternity of depression.

        • Reply Natalie May 30, 2014 at 4:49 AM

          That’s awfully judgmental.

          • Jeremy May 31, 2014 at 10:43 PM

            Like most people who take religion that seriously

      • Reply Jeremy May 31, 2014 at 1:12 PM

        I’m depressed but I’m not selfish. If I was selfish than I would let people know. Instead I cry a day worth of frustration out on the pillow I sleep on as quiet as possible because my dad is dead, my grades are dropping, my mom is dying to provide for me because I’m not old enough to get a job and honestly the only reasons I am not hanging from my ceiling fan are because I’m afraid of death and because I’d hate leaving my mom to feel the pain I feel now…I fucking hate this life where I can’t change a thing but ending it all can’t be the answer…

        Help me
        Show me how I’m selfish so maybe, just maybe I can fix the pain so I can look at my mom and have a talk about my day without going to the bathroom to cry into my shirt.

        • Reply Lily March 24, 2015 at 3:06 AM

          Jeremy, I hope you are still hanging in there and that things have gotten better for you. Your story is heartbreaking. I do hope you didn’t take this ignorant article to heart. This guy doesn’t know what he is talking about and his attitude is decidedly unChristlike and just as offensive to a real Christian as it is to those who are not Christians.

      • Reply lily June 1, 2014 at 11:32 PM

        this whole article is so rude and incredibly insulting. you are 100% wrong. people with depression don’t have a choice. if we did we wouldn’t be depressed. you have no idea unless you’ve been through it. you are so narrow minded and disgusting.

      • Reply Gram June 7, 2014 at 1:42 AM

        “Depression is not real. It is something that exists in people’s minds” Ummm.. That’s exactly where it exists.

        I don’t want to be rude but you should stick to writing about things that you understand.

      • Reply Jessica June 18, 2014 at 1:37 PM

        Sorry, but you’re very wrong here, you even seem to explain why but you barely miss it. Hormone imbalances are fuel for mood changes and depression, in which hemisphere do we see that most common in? Other than that, you’re advice on how to battle depression is actually not bad, though I’m sorry you won’t recognize the disease.

      • Reply Sierra July 5, 2014 at 1:49 PM

        I understand where you are coming from, but it was my realization of my selfishness that deepened my depression or whatever the hell is wrong with me, but I don’t know how to snap out of it or if it’s possible to. It started as unselfish when I would let strangers vent to me online and it was then I saw the darkness of the world. I’ve been this way for coming up on two years now and instead of an intense sad feeling I feel numbness which I haven’t decided if that’s better or not, I believe depression is very real but self hypnotic, we drag ourselves down without a rope to pull us up. At the moment the only thing keeping me relatively sane is the fact I have people to save and adventures to find and a best friend who if I left would no doubt follow and she will be the greatest writer one day. As I am only 14, I don’t say this with arrogance, but I’m not your typical cake face boy crazy slutty teenager, but rather an antisocial poet that spends her time listening to music and thinking, which I believed killed me, for as you said, the more time you have to yourself the worse you’re off because the thoughts will hypnotize you. Though I don’t regret falling into this because I’ve gained some intellect and wise thinking, I’m sorry to have wasted your time of you reading this comment but I’ve said what I wanted to say, I agree and disagree.

        • Reply Susan Lea Rudd July 5, 2014 at 10:36 PM

          My depression started when I was younger than you, and my biggest regret is not seeking help sooner. I listened to my dad and people like Toma and didn’t get help til I was 30. Counselors helped me see how my life really was, instead of my denial. I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal to feel “numb” or sad all the time. I didn’t realize that when something bad happened that other people only went down 10 feet, not 100. I didn’t realize that I was much more “sensitive” than others. Anti-depressants got/kept me functional so I could hold a job. Don’t spend as many years miserable as I did. Still fighting depression today – but not all by myself.

      • Reply Ross Duncan July 9, 2014 at 3:26 AM

        So, you’re victim blaming on depressed people. Yeah, that’s going to get you far in life, sir.

        You’re telling people that it’s their fault for the way that they are. If this article is designed to help people, my God you must be joking. Telling me that only piles even more negative thoughts onto myself and makes me even more depressed, and then you say that getting rid of negative thoughts is the answer. Your own logic just collapsed on itself.

        Some people just can’t help negative feelings. They don’t choose to feel bad about something. E.g. when I woke up late this morning, I didn’t say to myself ‘huh, I woke up late, therefore I must feel angry with myself’. I naturally felt it. This article is completely inconsiderate about anyone else’s feelings; if you ask me, you’re the one who’s really being selfish here.

        And being selfish is no-where near the same thing as being depressed. Self-centered people can be very proud of stuff that they’ve achieved even though they may not be very outgoing.

        You can’t just tell people to “think positive” either. I want to feel positive, but the draining of mental energy from depression prevents me from feeling positive. And whenever I do try and think positive, my unconscious mind bars me from it; whenever I say to myself “you did something really good today”, my natural response when my mind is in a low-energy state is “no, you did a fucking terrible job and you’ve embarrassed everyone around you, so go fucking die.” Sometimes I just can’t help it.

        So I think you need to consider the feelings of real-life depressed people and those other articles surrounding the topic before creating social stigmas and re-inventing the wheel.

        This video will debunk a lot of what you’ve just said:

        This article did not help my depression and I will not read any of your articles again.

        • Reply Natalie July 9, 2014 at 7:53 AM

          Unlike you, I feel empowered by the thought that my state is 100% in my hands. Even when I struggle, I still rest my head at night knowing all that’s needed to change is in me. I can’t tell you why I think this way, and I don’t think it makes me better than you.

          But when you say something like:
          “So I think you need to consider the feelings of real-life depressed people and those other articles surrounding the topic before creating social stigmas and re-inventing the wheel,” you’re managing to guilt trip and make far-fetched assumptions to such a degree that there is no room for discussion. Those who are not “real-life depressed people ” are shamed into backing away slowly from you…That’s when understanding goes away to die.

          • Erika April 16, 2015 at 8:26 AM

            What you don’t understand is the fact that people who are clinically depressed will still feel depressed even though they definitely do have control over what they do. They can do the things that make them happy, they can live a more positive life, but they will always have that sadness churning deep down. It usually stems from a chemical imbalance. And if they don’t do those things, yes then that feeling becomes much more prevalent even if they are taking meds. It is suffering and it is sad that you trivialize it.

            I can agree that being selfish doesn’t help with depression but being depressed doesn’t equate to be selfish. People I know who are depressed usually can cry for others because they understand their pain.

            Also, I would like to add that not all of them are sad over things that only have to do with them. They can absolutely be depressed over things that are happening outside of them.

          • Natalie April 20, 2015 at 8:51 PM

            Thanks for your comment. However, I find it very assuming that you declare I or others who only post a perspective don’t understand depression or empathy. I don’t doubt many clinically depressed individuals are upset over circumstances of others. However, or that some have more trouble than others when it comes to their feelings. I do believe putting control over one’s own feelings into the hands of others or a diagnosable disease can be self defeating.

            What I do believe is that those who claim the author or similar thinkers are lacking in understanding and owning high degrees of self-righteousness are guilty of a sin of the same degree, a different side of the same coin.

      • Reply sapy July 14, 2014 at 8:55 AM

        if anyone is selfish it’s you!
        you are the biggest idiot iv’e ever found on the internet. and i believe, in the entire world. i wish you, from the depth of my heart, g-d should punish you with the worst clinical depression ever! and than will see if being depressed is being selfish. shame on you! idiot. (and you still have the cheek of asking people “to be nice” with the comments)

        • Reply Natalie July 15, 2014 at 1:04 AM

          I think it is defeating and selfish to associate your behavior to depression.

          • Lily March 23, 2015 at 4:04 PM

            Nobody is using depression to justify immoral behavior. That’s something that idiots like this Toma guy and the possibly even bigger idiots who support them don’t seem to get when they are trying to declare a legitimate mental health disorder to be non-existent.

      • Reply Laura Hogarth July 16, 2014 at 2:10 PM

        haven’t read all the responses you have received to this article or your follow up and I have no intention to. Comparing Depression to selfishness is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard on the topic. You want to know why so many friends and family members say things like “I had no idea” “this came as such a shock” “Why didn’t they just talk to me about it” “s/he seemed to be getting better!” after a loved one has killed his or her self? It is because people with depression don’t talk to their friends and family out of fear of being judged the way you have just done. They don’t want to tell their mom and/or dad because they don’t want to worry them or cause them pain, they don’t want to tell their friends about it because their friends are all dealing with problems as well so ‘why should you bother them with this’; it’s misplaced logic like this that depressed people often face, and it’s perpetuated by people like you. In your follow up article you stated “I’m not even remotely a genius” and clearly you are not a professional so may I offer you some advice? Your arguments are based on a complete misunderstanding. People dealing with depression have to deal with this on a daily basis, and you are perpetuating myths that serve only to cause harm. Learn the difference between being selfish, feeling sadness and being depressed before you write an article like this again.

        • Reply Natalie July 16, 2014 at 11:10 PM

          The logic is only misplaced from your perspective. In my opinion, it’s just Toma’s logic. And it makes sense to me in a lot of ways.

      • Reply Daniel July 17, 2014 at 10:59 AM

        This is the most dumbest, pathetic article I’ve ever read. I got a new rule.

        Idiots that claim depression is a choice, must also admit that parkinsons and cancer are choices too.

        “I just feel sad. My career isn’t going well. My kids don’t talk to me. My dad was an alcoholic. I hate my job. I hate my life. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I don’t have many friends. People don’t like me … are the sort of typical comments that we hear from the depressed. Nowhere in there is there a mention of other people. It’s all about you”

        All about me? So getting upset over your dad being an alcoholic somehow means I’m narcissistic and am only thinking about me? Did you even research depression before you typed up this stupid cluttered pile of nonsense and idiocy? This article is the most unprofessional thing I’ve ever read. Even the people on Fox-News are more professional than you.

        “We have everything, they have nothing. You’d think that somebody who doesn’t have food for their family would feel pretty fucking depressed, yet no, it’s the western businessman with everything who feels depressed.”

        So money somehow equals happiness? Wow what a very immature, fucked up, materialistic view of life you have. You got raped and tortured? PSHH FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS! Atleast you don’t live in africa!

        There could be a person that is fairly wealthy but is struggling day by day to live with a terminal illness like Parkinsons or MS but you know fuck them, their life is just so god damn perfect because they don’t live in a third world country.

        You’re no doctor and you have no knowledge on basic physiology if you think that people choose depression. Do some research next time before expressing your opinions you pseudo intellectual.

        • Reply Natalie July 17, 2014 at 11:58 PM

          It’s funny that you mention science and research but all you do if talk about emotions and lay a guilt trip.

      • Reply Lez king July 24, 2014 at 2:04 PM

        You are right..the reason I am in my situation is because of the stupid decisions I have made. Mainly selfish ones!

        So I will continue now with a desire to fix my shit ,,,not for me but for my family….thanks mate!

      • Reply adam February 18, 2015 at 5:12 AM

        You are incredibly stupid

        • Reply Natalie February 25, 2015 at 3:59 AM

          And you are rude, among other things. Face palm.

      • Reply appauled February 24, 2015 at 1:49 AM

        You’re opinion means nothing to me but could be dangerous to others. Be a responsible human being and stop touting you’re half baked ideas on public forum where they do more harm than good!

        • Reply Natalie February 25, 2015 at 3:54 AM

          There is such a thing as freedom of speech. I believe opinions such as these are a case of misplaced blame. I find it odd to place so much weight on an article. The people sho may find this dangerous need something, but censoring others’ freedom of speech seems like an unfair symptom of so called depression rather than a reasonable cause.

      • Reply Smurf March 18, 2015 at 2:52 AM

        You’re a mystical idiot.

      • Reply steelflower17 March 27, 2015 at 9:02 AM

        You said that this is all about me.Well no.My case of depression is not about me.

        The woman who’s daughter I am is dying for 4 illnesses.The woman who’s sister I am is more depressed than you can believe.And if there is one I in this is that I lived for them and to witness their suffering.If it was about me I would have died 2 years ago.This is the only I in my story.The rest is them!

      • Reply Steve L Finch April 11, 2015 at 8:12 AM

        Well appreciate this. You speak of serving God and how spiritual and right with God you are. Well the most unselfish deed ever done by man was by Jesus Christ who didn’t have to but went to the cross to die for all of us anyway even for an insensitive jack ass like you!!! He got severely depressed. He sweated drops of blood and said, “my soul is exceedingly sorrowful even unto death”. He was mostly depressed not for Himself but for the condition of all of us who crucified Him. He was depressed not because He was proud and selfish but because He was completely selfless and compassionate and sad for people. Also if you read many of the Psalms, Psalm 13 for example you’ll see that King David was the most bi-polar, depressed person ever and God called David “a man after His own heart.” I’ve followed and served Jesus since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I am very thankful for Jesus, and the revelation He’s given me. I’m thankful for my sons, and my home and my many blessings given to me by God. I have nothing that God didn’t give me and neither do you. I am even thankful for the adversity God has given me. I am especially grateful and honored to serve Him by leading worship music and doing children’s ministry both as a worship leader and a gospel clown. I am severely depressed and I am also the most selfless, generous, compassionate for others, person you will ever meet. In fact I think the biggest reason I am depressed is because I see all of the people hurting in the world that don’t have it as good as me and I can’t do anything about it. The injustice, and inhumanity from insensitive, theologically ignorant, vile, judgemental hateful, evil piss poor excuses for human beings like you is doing nothing except cause people who are already struggling, great harm. How dare you? You ought to apologize to the Lord. You have got to be the absolutely stupidest, pudding headed-est, pea brained, soulless, piece of self righteous crap that I’ve ever encountered on the internet.

      • Reply Anonymous April 26, 2015 at 9:43 PM

        I just want to say that “Toma” and anyone who agrees with “him” should be FUCKING DEAD. DISGUSTING IGNORANT PIECES OF SHIT.

      • Reply Donivan April 27, 2015 at 2:10 PM

        Oh how amusing it is when somebody goes on and on about something they clearly know very little about as though they are experts on the subject. Alas, you are obviously not. I cannot tell whether you’re just another typical troll or just someone who is just plain ignorant and uneducated, but for the sake of putting things into perspective, I’ll give you the shadow of the doubt. Whilst agreeably, depression does make people selfish in some sense, depression is not selfishness. A genuinely depressed person might often feel sad, suicidal, lack motivation, not be able to focus or concentrate properly, not sleep properly or just plainly let themselves go. A person who is just simply selfish is very unlikely to experience any of these things.

        On another note, the mind is an extraordinarily powerful product of the brain and it creates the programs on which people so to speak. Just because something might not be physically real, that doesn’t make it any less real in the mind of the person experiencing it. Take pain for example. If you burn yourself it hurts and you will automatically pull yourself away, yet the pain isn’t physically real. It’s just in your mind. I suppose you don’t believe people who suffer with PTSD too or Schizophrenia since they exist in people’s minds too.

        Now use your mind if you would and think intelligey about the things you’ve said and the things I’ve said and please don’t tell me that intelligence doesn’t exist in your world too because it’s a product of the mind, though it might help explain a few things.

      • Reply Beth May 7, 2015 at 1:50 AM

        I have depression and today I am at my worst, feeling low and suicidal I wanted to look online for some possible help. Just something to know that I’m not alone in this terrible feeling that no matter how hard, I can not explain nor can I figure out why I feel this way from time to time. But I come across your page, seeing that I am selfish for hurting so deeply inside and not knowing why suicide just might be the only answer, since I am so selfish for feeling so terrible. I am so grateful that you will never know this pain, because of how selfish I am, I would never want anyone to feel the way I feel.

      • Reply Alias Alibi May 31, 2015 at 7:06 PM

        Unfortunately chemical imbalances do exist in human brains that cause depression and it is not a matter of selfishness in these cases. This article has a very “New Age” take on depression in my opinion and does not do well to back up the idea that “depression isn’t real” as the writer says. This article is nonsense to me. Depression is very real and to say it is selfishness is offensive to those who truly suffer. I don’t know this for a fact but perhaps depression isn’t reported in 3rd world countries because these people do not have the same wide access to mental health professional as in other developed countries and therefore are never diagnosed and put on record. This is not to say there are not people there suffering feelings of hopelessness/emptiness, feeling like there is no point to their life because of an imbalance, I would ask you about the suicide rates in these developing countries and then you tell me how depression isn’t real again.

      • Reply none of your business June 10, 2015 at 8:11 PM

        there is nothing special or impressivd about the expression of such a narrow minded view… on anything, but especially on people who have legitimate medical problems. i really wish people had to take some kind of test before starting a blog or expressing an opinion. it would be called “are you an over opinionated asshole?” you should probably design the test yourself. it would give you something better to do than being an asshole :-)

        • Reply Natalie June 28, 2015 at 1:13 AM

          Have you considered the possibility that you’re projecting?

          • Watcher November 13, 2015 at 5:48 PM

            Have you considered the possibility that YOU are, as well?

      • Reply Bill Spoonhauer June 13, 2015 at 12:10 PM

        Your writing style is fine, but your ideas are exceptionally ignorant. I don’t know if God is real, but I am certain that suicide is real. I gave all of myself to family members trying to keep them alive in the face of severe, “clinical depression” but to no avail. That they took their own lives was the most selfish of acts, by definition.

        Their depression wasn’t “all in their heads”. Their depression manifested with tremendous pain throughout their bodies. None of us “feel” emotions in our brain– we feel them in our body.

        In your previous post, you report that depression is reported at lower rates in non-“western countries”. Please review suicide rates by country to understand that in “poor” countries under-reported depression reveals the highest actual suicide rates. A given nation’s tradition of spiritual practice has nothing to do with its rate of self-inflicted death, rather its social values and the genetic character of its citizens.

        If God exists, why does he make humans suffer to the extent of self-termination? If depression didn’t exist, there would be no great art, for without darkness there is no light. Have to sign off now to “go sit under a tree and feel the beautiful breeze against my skin” and wallow in my self-inflicted pain.

      • Reply Jun July 4, 2015 at 12:22 PM

        I think I love you.
        All joking aside, I love your take on depression. I don’t really understand why some of these people felt the need to specifically point out that you, who only said the truth, were selfish… It’s human nature for people to be selfish, right? Personally, I think it’s quite sad that the number of people who are “depressed” is increasing and that this mental disorder is actually becoming something akin to the common cold (though in the psychological world), but you know about those first-world problems! The people who deserve to feel depressed are those who live in third-world countries (or those in a similar state) who struggle for resources and sh*t.
        Sorry that you had to read something like this since it’s technically just me ranting (if you even read this at all)…

        • Reply Toma July 4, 2015 at 2:14 PM

          Thanks Jun. I read ’em all.

      • Reply Kevin July 6, 2015 at 8:39 PM

        This is by far one of the most ignorant articles that i have ever read. I am bipolar and suffer from depression, not because i choose to or because i am narcissistic, or because i’m just not thinking positively but because of a chemical imbalance that runs in my family. I don’t choose to be depressed just like i don’t choose to have psychotic episodes *Which also is a real thing*. I would suggest that you actually learn something about psychology before acting like you have all of the answers because ignorance is a choice, depression is not.

      • Reply me July 7, 2015 at 2:01 AM

        Wow your right. Depression is selfish. Why don’t I just stop being sad? Should be simple. Like willing away the pain of being stabbed. Oh wait. That’s virtually impossible. Like pain , it takes time to heal. Just because it is in your head, doesn’t mean it is not real. It is an emotion you idiot. Can you stop yourself from being angry? From being happy? Embarrassed? No. So why don’t you get your head out of your ass and show a little compassion and understanding.

      • Reply Jellyfish2 July 10, 2015 at 7:56 PM

        Depression may be avoidable in some cases, but once you’re in it it is very hard to get out of. You can’t just snap out of it by reading this article or watching a TED talk. A big part of the agony of depression is wanting so badly to feel well, and if anyone who was depressed could, trust me, they would. Depression is painful. A big part of the agony is realizing there is so much to life to be grateful for but not being able to enjoy it physically. You can look at yourself and understand completely how ridiculous it may be to be depressed, but it doesn’t change the fact unless you take steps to work on it every day (which, in depression, takes great strength. It’s almost a paradox). Depression is a mountain, not some sand to be brushed off your feet. Progress takes time. I think anyone who beats severe depression deserves a medal. People who are depressed aren’t stupid and are quite aware of their situation. Actually I think it makes you smarter in the long run. Have you ever been depressed? You are seriously confusing it with ‘the blues’. But really you’re a troll.

      • Reply Becca July 21, 2015 at 5:10 AM

        False. I do not believe depression itself is selfish and I think it is very real. I think how people respond is selfish. I believe you can have depression and a continuous sort of pain that most of the world doesn’t understand that you can make go away, regardless how hard you try, but choose not to respond to it. You can feel like that and be unable to change the fact the feel that way, but once you’re at the point, you’re at a cross road. You have the choice of giving into it or not. Giving into it is selfish, not giving into it is self control and strength. So you’d still be depressed, just strong enough to respond in a positive way that empowers you and causes you to do so much more than you could have been motivated to do without it. Yet by frowning upon it and calling depression itself bad, instead of how people choose to respond bad, you’re taking away the potential to grow form it, because people are now ashamed instead of seeking to move forward with it. It could be like being strongly passionate about something. If you want an example. People could take that passion and do very bad or violent things or they can respond in a positive way and make a difference.

        One of the worst things society does is saying different is bad. For example the holocaust. Don’t judge something you don’t understand. It seems to be one ugly plant in a beautiful garden that gives the whole thing a bad name.

        Also your argument about depression always being selfish is invalid. Many depressed people end their life because they fully believe by doing so it will make other’s lives better. Even if they don’t to end their life, but they will for others.

      • Reply Marley July 24, 2015 at 4:35 AM

        do you think it is productive to call a depressed person selfish? I agree with many points but Your approach is close to shaming, and so counterproductive. You aren’t an expert, just a dick. see? that isn’t constructive, just mean. “self-inflicted bullshit” ???? who the fuck do you think you are dude?

      • Reply Pissed off lady July 26, 2015 at 2:04 AM

        Where’s your phd in psychology? Have you ever actually met a severely depressed person? It isnt selfish. Its a mental illness. When my sister is so sad she can’t get out of bed and doesnt have the energy to feed herself or look after her hygiene is that selfish? No thats suffering. So stfu my sister thinks of everyone and never herself. She neglects her own needs trying to meet others while struggling to love herself again. Depression isnt selfish your fucking attitude and lack of empathy towards mentally ill people is.

      • Reply Homnath July 27, 2015 at 5:45 AM

        My depression arises from anxity, fear and hatred. I always hate people for some time than again start to think that i should not have hatred them. it goes on. i fear fortune. i fear in work. have no control over my emotions. all shit happens . i left my job also. i am dutiful but all of a sudden i fell in filth. all of a sudden i anger. and most of all i am hating my family, step father because he never did what he said like i will make homes for you, 20 years has past but never. i think that he want to spoil my future so that i could not do anything. i was a very talent in my school. but slowly i degraded i have bad habits and slowly i am depressed.

        now, i began to hate my mother also. i know i am wrong but i cannot tolerate my step father. i have bad feelings about him, although he is right to all my family members.

        Please help me doctors and friends

      • Reply Jeremy August 11, 2015 at 8:28 AM

        Toma, did you grow up with two parents?

        • Reply Toma August 11, 2015 at 8:29 AM

          Can you be more specific?

      • Reply drew August 11, 2015 at 9:42 PM

        Let me ask you something? If I injected you with a bunch of chemicals that threw off your brain’s chemical balance do you honestly think you could just power through with your positive thoughts?

        • Reply Toma August 11, 2015 at 11:19 PM

          Not at all.

      • Reply Jennifer August 13, 2015 at 9:42 PM

        My experience is limited. Regardless, I’d like to express my opinion. Let me apologize if I offend anyone. It is not my intention to offend anyone. I agree with this article to the extent that depression can be countered with positive thoughts but I must say I disagree with the underlying belief that depression is a choice. Environmental factors play a large role in a person’s development. If a person is exposed to a string of failures and critism, he will most likely develop a distorted sense of self perception and arrive at the conclusion that he is somehow lesser of a person than the people around him. So yes, depression does stem from negative thoughts and can be countered with positive thoughts; however, depression is not a choice. There is a difference between simply thinking positive thoughts and actually believing those thoughts. For example, if you were to tell a person with low self-esteem that he is intelligent, handsome, talented, etc., he wouldn’t believe you. There lies the issue. In most cases, a person who is depressed doesn’t choose to be depressed. Most depressed people don’t even realize that they’re depressed; they simply have a distorted sense of self perception, a certain way of thinking that was instilled early on. They hold the conviction that they are not good enough. It’s for this reason that depression isn’t a choice. Some questions: why is depression considered “non-existant,” is it because depression is intangible/not visible? Is a person’s pain any less real simply because they have necessities (food, shelter), things that poor countries lack?

      • Reply u stupid cunt August 13, 2015 at 10:48 PM

        U r retarded and should be killed. Depression is a hormone imbalance lmfao at u dumbasses. What fixes it? Well for men fucking hot slugs 24/7 and eating. For woman well who cares

      • Reply Cecilia August 22, 2015 at 7:23 PM

        You seem to lack empathy, it’s sad when ignorants like you would write something so ignorant like this. You have no idea how painful is depression and how can it affect someone so how dare you say those things? You have no idea since you have never dealt with. I suggest you keep your ignorance to yourself and stick a knife up your butt.

      • Reply Michael August 29, 2015 at 9:43 PM

        Toma, you obviously must have had a wonderful life, and everything must be going great for you. It must be nice to be perfect.
        Of course you probably have no feelings about life itself. And you probably don’t give a rats ass about anybody other than yourself.
        And you probably don’t understand the meaning of the word feelings.
        To say that depression is all in the persons head. Is absolutely right! Because you’ll never understand what some people have been through throughout there life.
        Which makes me believe that your not very bright, are you?
        Clueless about life.

        Fucking idiot

      • Reply Cilit August 30, 2015 at 8:16 AM

        Did you ever think that perhaps what you’ve written is just wrong?

        • Reply Toma August 30, 2015 at 8:22 AM

          Yes, but the truth doesn’t change, and what I have written is the truth.

      • Reply Li September 14, 2015 at 12:11 AM

        Depression is a mental illness. You won’t get better by thinking posite, that’s sadness not depression. My uncle feels depressed, his brain releases much less endorphins than the average human brain, that means it is borderline physiologically impossible for him to feel happiness without the use of his medication. If he stops using it, in days he will isolate himself and show suicidal intentions to his very close friends who are still able to talk to him.

      • Reply September 19, 2015 at 5:49 AM

        You are condemning the very thing that you are. An “I” oriented man who cannot think outside of any viewpoint but his own. You are embodying the root of all evil in this world, judgment and lack of compassion/empathy for others who think differently than yourself. You are limited and ego driven.

        • Reply Natalie September 29, 2015 at 5:41 PM

          So i take i you believe yourself to be unlimited. Please enlighten me as to what you’re driven by.

        • Reply Natalie September 29, 2015 at 5:48 PM

          Many of the same people who claim to have empathy reserve the right to judge who deserves it. People like Toma are deemed unworthy of their empathy for exercising freedom of speech. What kind of empathy is that? Just a fickle and self centered one for strengthening the denial of the one who claims it. They search this article and condemn it and its author.

      • Reply Isaac September 25, 2015 at 8:21 PM

        Let’s assume that your facts are correct (which they are wildly incorrect), the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. if you don’t know what you’re talking about, don’t say anything

        • Reply Toma September 25, 2015 at 8:29 PM

          That argument goes both ways.

      • Reply Coco September 29, 2015 at 7:58 PM

        Toma, Respectfully, you have no clue regarding depression. Your article is recycled obsolete, negative stereotypes about depression, that only shame people into silence, and stop others from seeking help. I have yet to meet a single person who suffers from depression concerned with having or not having “STUFF”. EVER… to get a quick glimpse at depression check out
        Hyperbole and a Half Adventures in depression
        And. Hyperbole and a half adventures in depression part 2
        Also I would be glad to answer any questions you have about depression, from my personal experience .

      • Reply Sun-Shiney September 30, 2015 at 8:41 PM

        About 10 years ago, I went from happy, smiley to so depressed that my thoughts scared me. I slept too much. My hair began thinning. My skin itched so much that I began to bleed from the scratch wounds. And my weight went from skinny to thick. I finally saw a doctor. My thyroid was non-functional and I was close to having a heart attack because the lack of hormone was causing a severe decrease in my metabolism. One week after being on thyroid med, I was on the road to my normal self. To say that my thoughts caused my depression and I was being selfish is hurtful and mean and a signal of a lack of your patience with other humans when something goes wrong with them. Shame on you!

        After ten years of fun times, my 50’ish husband recently had cancer and died here in my arms at home, at the same times as my mother, father died, and one month earlier my sister was also taken. Forward one month and both of my inlaws were killed. My wonderful son moved 2000 miles away to a great job. And here I was — totally alone in the middle of miles of rural wheatfields — and without cash, as the hospital bills had been, needless to say, huge, taking most of our life savings.

        Am I sad. You bet. Losing all of your tribe is not easy. Selfish because I’m sad. Really?

        When you are much older, I hope you revisit your post. Perhaps by then, you’ll have lived enough life to know that yes, some folks are self-centered, while others simply have life mountains to climb that are a bit too steep and take the breath away from us.

        I pray you develop compassion.

      • Reply Nonya Bizness October 6, 2015 at 4:32 PM

        So I’m assuming you don’t believe that scitzphrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder PTSD, and the many others are all in people’s heads as well? Congratulations, you just cured all of mental illness! If this is all a choice, then maybe you could choose not to be an ignorant jerk. You are part of the problem.

      • Reply Smriti October 23, 2015 at 10:11 AM

        I strongly disagree. And also, you need to widen your perspective. You’re only taking that one aspect of depression into consideration.

      • Reply bullshit October 25, 2015 at 8:56 PM

        Oh really? So me giving up all my dreams to take care of the people I love, with me being the only income right now makes me selfish? Bullshit. What you’re telling me to do is dismiss what a person is going through with a quick fix pill. You’re actually projecting your own impatient selfishness on another person b/c you just don’t want to deal with them. and you’re wrong: my family rose up from a 3rd world country. I still have family struggling in that 3rd world country. They suffer depression. They suffer the fears of taking care of their own as well. TO BECOME A POSITIVE PERSON REQUIRES PROCESSING WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU AND THEM COPING WITH IT. IT’S ACTUALLY A NORMAL PROCESS –> but when you tell someone to get over it, you’re actually telling them to skip that necessary process and when they do, they never make it to that next step — because you just told them their feelings don’t matter,and in turn you’re also saying they don’t matter unless they think like you do. And I suspect that you will never understand this until you walk in their shoes. But what do know about that, right? Not like you’re “unselfish” enough to be understanding of that anyway.

      • Reply jey November 1, 2015 at 8:58 AM

        I don’t suffer from depression any longer, but I have to tell you, you and people like you who are so adamant to exalt yourselves above others just because you do not and probably never have suffered from something like depression are truly arrogant to a degree only God can reveal to you. I see the point you tried to make about selfishness however, do you take into consideration at all that FEELINGS are very much important and they are REAL. There are things and PEOPLE such as yourself who contribute much to a person’s reasons for being depressed. We all take things differently we are effected in a variety of ways. You say that someone who is depressed is only focused on themselves and that is a lie straight from hell. MOST often people are depressed because they have very big hearts, but unfortunately they are surrounded by egotistical bullies like yourself who because you have a platform (bigger etc) more people to back what in actually is YOUR OWN SELF CENTEREDNESS AND SELF EXALTATION, their feelings are made to be nothing more than a tantrum. These people are made to feel insignificant, irrelevant, and almost crazy if they have been weakened enough. People like you are quick to point out what very well may be weakness, but forget that you have a weakness as well. Yo have something in your life/hear/mind that were someone to approach you with the lack of care or compassion you have proven you do not possess, you’d be ready to break as well. You are nothing more than a bully airing your self righteous opinion on a battle you probably have no true understanding about. What you have expressed is not tough love, it’s not the reality these people face, it’s pure arrogance.You should be silent.

      • Reply Emily November 1, 2015 at 3:33 PM

        I have depression and I have for nearly three years. Today I searched for ways of how to help end it and this website came up. And you can believe me when I say that thousands of people would commit suicide after reading this. If they believe that the world thinks we’re selfish, they’ll kill themselves so that they don’t have to disgrace the world, so that they don’t have to disappoint anyone. I have depression and believe me, I would stop being depressed right now if I could. I would stop being so “selfish” immediately and act happy again. But it’s not that easy. There are millions and millions of people who aren’t depressed but have problems that they relate to themselves, that are all about them. The difference is that these problems don’t bring about an overwhelming wave of sadness and self loathing. The whole world is selfish because our world has so many limited resources and we have so many needs and wants that we are selfishly destroying our own earth through pollution and over fishing and by littering and through producing greenhouse gases. These are the things that are selfish because they are going to ruin this world for our future generations. Selfish is not wanting to kill yourself. That is horrifyingly sad and tragic and painful and deadly. But it is not selfish to feel like you can’t live here and to feel nothing but sadness. That is a true pain that I would drop in a second if I could.

      • Reply mark November 4, 2015 at 5:50 PM

        I’m depressed after reading your article

      • Reply mark November 4, 2015 at 5:56 PM

        It’s extremely selfish of a spoiled brat like you to come up with a one-size-fits-all solution to a topic of which you know nothing about, my guess is you’ve never had anybody screw you over or suffered through a traumatic event in your life, I would love to see someone like you have everything in their lives taken away from them just to see how you would react, your comments are all dime a dozen, I doubt that you have ever expressed an unpopular opinion that gets rejected by anybody in your stupid social media circles

      • Reply mark November 4, 2015 at 6:07 PM

        I believe it is physically impossible for somebody with a pea sized brain like yours to even get depressed, you’re too stupid to even realize we live in a society now where you get punished for being intelligent, keep on telling everybody everything you think they want to hear on your little social media and you’ll be just fine little girl

      • Reply Thad November 9, 2015 at 5:38 AM

        Wow. I am struggling right now with some depression… I have no friends or family to reach out to. I’m sitting in my car in a dirt parking lot scouring the internet for some word that might comfort me and I come across this… Absolutely hateful, what an abusive form of invalidation. This type of discussion from a loved one or co-worker would make me feel completely alienated and alone.

        I am disgusted with your comments and you should be ashamed of your hateful attitude.

      • Reply Agominta November 11, 2015 at 7:32 PM

        What pieces of shit most of you are. You don’t get to fucking sit here and tell ME that MY disease is bullshit and it’s all my fucking fault. My constant state of feeling like shit is selfish? My ruining almost every good thing in my life is selfish? My attempts at suicide were selfish? All I ever fucking do is put others before myself, and that is a huge part of my depression. Shut the fuck up about things you have no idea about, because you and all of those who agree with this article are arrogant wastes of human beings. Yes, you are allowed to state your opinions! But that doesn’t make you any less of an arrogant piece of shit. I’m appalled that there are such people in the world, and I hope you all get what’s coming to your sorry asses. Fuck you.

      • Reply CleverDetective November 16, 2015 at 6:56 PM

        So anything you can not see or touch doesn’t exist? Lol this has to be one of the most idiotic statements I’ve ever read in my life. Color can not be perceived by the blind, so it doesn’t exist for them. But it certainly exists for those who have sight. Sound doesn’t exist for the deaf. But it also certainly exists for those who can hear. What exists or doesn’t exist can change depending on the individual, dumbass.

        Instead of writing articles in an attempt to make already hurting people feel even more shitty about themselves, stick with knitting some sweaters or some shit. Maybe the world will get lucky and you’ll fall face first on one of your knitting needles. Lord knows we could use less ignorant and judgmental bitches in this world.

      • Reply Jeffrey November 19, 2015 at 6:05 PM


    • Reply laine August 20, 2013 at 5:42 PM

      what many do not realize is depression can and most likely is the reaction to food allergies and being toxified by the current diet of industrialize nations. that is why you see it much more in the modern societies. (that is why its inherited, the offspring have the same sensitivities and once toxified early in life you struggle for a lifetime) to all depression patients i would have yourself tested for food allergies. wheat/gluten overdoes can be a big component, which rules the modern diet. a depression patient should first start out with allergen sensitivities first and begin a total detox of and elimination of allergens, next move on vitamin deficiencies. then move into sluggish digestive systems and lymph systems (all things you can do for yourself no prescription needed once you have your allergy test). use holistic docs and non prescription remedies. today’s medical community is into treatments and not cures, and the treatments go on forever. holistic docs look for causes and cures, stay away from traditional docs who treat symptoms. look into mark hyman too and innovative secular md who believes in curing. toxicity is a gradual poisoning will cause people to go turn on themselves and loose their happiness. educate yourself there is always a cure that the medical community is not willing to share with you or use. they are evil, stay away from them.
      this is a start. participation in scheduled exercise, we are built to be very active as humans. sunshine is important too. God Bless everyone and pray you find your depression cure, as its not God’s plan for your life. your food is your medicine. from personal experience, i went completely on organics (which means i ate everything i wanted like before just food free of pesticides chemicals hormones antibiotics and was never deprived like a diet) and immediately i looked 10 yrs younger in the face. within three months i went to the weight of my 20s, i looked 20 yrs than my age and all my grey hair started going in my natural brunette color……. i never felt bad or had illness, but clearly i was toxic and poisoned. those that have illness or aliments you have got be thoroughly toxic. those of you who are depressed severely toxic.

      *if your adventurous look into the origins of diet and realize different races and blood types need and tolerate different types of foods (modern medicine is not telling your that, they want to treat you for life and give you rx’s because you have conditions). if you eat for your type you will be healthy and many of today’s aliments will never affect you.

    • Reply dan t justice September 20, 2013 at 3:03 AM

      This guy is a fraud…
      I,ve seen people attacked this way because the word “I” or “me” is used in a sentence a thousand times. Hes trying to turn an emotion into a gramatical error and its just pure BS.
      So a rape victim who is depressed is just selfish? They should just change thier thought paterns… Hey look!< I said they, that must mean im not self centerd!

      • Reply A realist February 5, 2014 at 7:41 PM

        well said

    • Reply justin October 2, 2013 at 6:04 AM

      Some depression is just in the mind. Most though, has to do with biological/physiological psychology. There are people with weak minds only and just need some philosophy to put them on the path to a better life. There are countless more, who no matter what they do with their mind, will also have to exercise, change their diet, balance gut flora, curb neural inflammation, take herbs/supplements or in a last resort meds. Calling depression selfishness is ignorant, un-empathetic and causes damage.

    • Reply Lindsay October 9, 2013 at 5:16 AM

      GREAT ARTICLE!!!!!!!!! 100% AGREE.

      There are some people commenting on this article explaining how they are diagnosed with depression and how they completely disagree. I mean just the fact that you are using the internet is pretty cool! There are millions of people in this world who don’t even have access to the internet. C’MON people, life can be much worse. Embrace what you have and stop feeling sorry for yourself. No matter how horrible you think your life is, remember that there are probably thousands of people who wish to be in your shoes.

      • Reply hiway202 October 9, 2013 at 9:17 AM

        Except for what you just mentioned isn’t depression. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Of course there are other types of depression, like depression caused by traumatic events and such. My depression is combined as both, but I will refrain from talking about it because that would be so “selfish” of me and, according to some, attention seeking. And I’m sure NO ONE wants to be in my shoes. Yes, everyone has problems, and some people have it worse, but that doesn’t mean that other peoples’ problems aren’t anything at all!

        “You have to embrace what you have and quit feeling sorry for yourself.” But people with depression don’t just sit around and think, “oh, poor, poor me. I just broke my iPod. Everyone, feel sorry for me.” That’s not how it works! And also, do you think we want to be depressed? I sure as hell don’t and I have yet to meet anyone who does!

        You are very lucky to not be able to suffer from depression. TRUE depression, like a chemical imbalance or suffering a traumatic event. And if you did suffer from a traumatic event and you didn’t get depression then you are amazing and I wish I could be like you. But I’m doomed like this forever, and it’s not my fault.

        • Reply Lindsay October 9, 2013 at 10:00 AM

          I do not believe you are doomed! That is a little much! Sorry, but saying you are “doomed” is ridiculous! I would think you were doomed if there was mass murderer standing in front of you revving his/her chainsaw. Saying something so negative like that is your problem right there! You saying you are doomed is just ridiculous!

          Sitting on the internet googling the word depression is not going to make anything any better.

          Depression is a controversial subject. I am sorry, but I believe there is no reason to feel sorry for yourself.

          • hiway202 October 9, 2013 at 1:03 PM

            I don’t just “sit on the internet and google the word depression” I found this on a depression support group (someone posted it and talked about how it made them feel) And I don’t just sit around feeling sorry for myself.

            By the way, is living with a rapist that no one believes is a rapist count as being doomed, or am I still being ridiculous?

      • Reply Mr Cellophane November 13, 2013 at 9:32 PM

        Holy crap, Lindsay. Fuck you. Absolutely fuck you.

        When I read your comments (and frankly, when I read Toma’s article, so this is just as much a reply to him), I hear a naive 14 year old who likes to hear herself talk, and who says “You know, cigarettes are bad for you. You should totally stop,” to a smoker.

        And “Hey, I’m sure if you just try to be their friend, they’ll love who you are!” to a victim of severe bullying.

        And “Don’t you realize you touched that doorknob already? That’s just silly! It’s already locked!” to someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

        And “C’mon, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Some people in Africa don’t even have food. Eat up!” to someone with anorexia.

        And “You know, if you got a job, I’m sure you could save up money and buy yourself a house pretty soon!” to a homeless person.

        And “C’mon people, life can be much worse! Saying you’re doomed, now that’s just ridiculous!” to someone with major depressive disorder. …..Oh, wait.

        Changing the way you think is one component of tackling symptoms of depression (just like it is one component of tackling the symptoms of literally any mental illness, including addiction). ONE component. Not the ONLY component, and certainly not an EASY component to address. Combating ingrained, deeply supported, deeply habituated, often chemically rooted thought patterns with new, unfamiliar (“happy”) thought patterns is incredibly difficult and takes months, years, decades to grasp.

        And treating thoughts as something completely distinct from chemicals is ludicrously inaccurate. Human beings have thoughts because we have chemicals in our brains. If neurons did not communicate chemicals to each other every time you thought “Man, I want a cheeseburger,” you would not want a cheeseburger. You would not have that thought. Thoughts ARE chemical transmissions.

        Nobody denies that maladaptive thought patterns are part of mental illness — it is why psychotherapy is often stressed as an important aspect of treatment. Along with lifestyle changes. Along with medication. Along with finding social support. By reducing the idea of cognitive changes (arguably the most complex and difficult aspect of treating mental illness) to a simple “Cheer up, silly!” you are invalidating millions of people’s real struggles. Completely fucking invalidating.

        God, what a horrendously shallow, bitchy, ignorant, fucked up thing to say. I’m sorry if the incredibly dark and complex thoughts that a depressed person experiences are beyond your naive grasp — no, they are not as simple and cinema-ready as oh-no-there’s-a-chainsaw-murderer-in-the-next-room-so-I’m-allowed-to-feel-distress. But DON’T YOU DARE presume to say, so matter-of-factly, that something does not exist just because the idea is too complex, too abstract, and too far outside your own daily experience for you to grasp. Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you.

        And fuck Toma, too. Ignorant son of a bitch.

        • Reply Toma November 27, 2013 at 1:50 PM

          Read this short book, then get back to me.

          • Raddmiral May 13, 2014 at 7:09 AM

            Nice, replying to an honest comment with a sales pitch. Go to hell.

        • Reply Nobody December 21, 2013 at 12:30 AM

          Mr Cellophane: …you are right on…you nailed it! Couldn’t agree more. People who’ve never suffered severe depression tend to way over-simplify what it really is & how to deal with it…it’s like they are annoyed by it and feel it’s only a decision away from being alleviated! That only shows their lack of knowledge as well as compassion. Thank you for setting the record straight here!

        • Reply A realist February 5, 2014 at 7:53 PM

          I have just read this mans article and to be honest i think it is back tracking asking you to read another article,I think you put everything so wonderfully,it says next to please leave a comment to keep it nice but the small minded little man TOMO wasnt being nice when he labled depression so cruelly,I hope no one in his family ever need him emotionally and to be honest it wouldnt suprise me if this man now has blood on his hands,Depressed people take everything to heart,i know and reading this has just made me feel totally worthless so thanks Tomo you truely are a fucking twat…………
          Im glad you replied to him Mr Cellophane,you helped me,your a good person

    • Reply angelmom2584 October 12, 2013 at 8:02 PM

      I have suffered with depression on and off since I was 13, I am now 53, and I still go through depression from time to time. I am going through a rough patch at the present time and am in therapy now. I have a husband who has verbally abused me for the majority of our married life. I am sure you can understand what 30 years of verbal abuse does to a person-it seriously affects one’s confidence and just entire way of thinking about themselves, especially when I suffer with depression to start with and he knows that. There is a history of major depression in my family as my dad suffered with it the majority of his life (he passed away New Years Eve 2011), and I have 2 sisters who are narcissistic).is I have always been a faith-filled Christian person, and my relationship with GOD has always been very important to me and always will be. I just know that depression, in part, stems from anger and unresolved feelings and/or situations, and I think you may have a point about selfishness, but it’s not the entire story. There is much more to depression that that. People don’t enjoy being depressed, it’s a miserable state of being for those of us so seriously affected regularly by this mental health disorder.

      • Reply Cat December 3, 2013 at 9:29 AM

        God bless you. I’m a 16 years old girl and currently going through a big depression. For some reason, you’ve really touched me. Many members of my family have had depressions. Some of them even attempted suicide. I’ll pray for you to have a beautiful life filled with love. You deserve it. ♥

      • Reply newzbug December 3, 2013 at 2:20 PM

        @angelmom1584 I am right up there with you. I don’t really know when it began, but I was diagnosed in 1990. And have been on meds ever since. I hope you and your family find the peace you so are looking for. check out the site of Inspire. It’s a great place to find comraderie and friendship with others like you. I have been there a year and find it offers a great support system.

    • Reply Toma haiku is as intelligent as average american October 15, 2013 at 4:27 AM

      Don’t praise this ignorant shithead, he is doing a lot of damage to the psychological sciences for every hillbilly dumb enough to believe it. He is in fact a potentional liability in the advancements of humanity. Congratulations on aiding him in fucking up further generations beliefs and understanding of the human body and the world around us.

    • Reply Haley October 30, 2013 at 12:06 AM

      You are an ignorant person who obviously doesn’t even know how depression goes. Being sad over something isn’t being depressed. Depression can be a chemical imbalance. You can’t feel love so love isn’t real? You don’t love your parents spouse or children? This was ignorant crap please don’t spew shit that you don’t even know about.

      • Reply Ed October 30, 2013 at 8:56 AM

        There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance,people.

        • Reply Nobody December 21, 2013 at 12:37 AM

          OMG! U look like a real nut case with a chemical imbalance> As a woman of science I can unequivocally state you don’t know what the heck your talking about!

          • Lily March 23, 2015 at 4:11 PM

            Yes, the greatest irony about people who deny the existence of chemical imbalances and mental disease – they invariably display symptoms themselves. Remember Whacko Tom Cruise’s TV rant at Matt Lauer? He looked and sounded exactly like an untreated bipolar sufferer on a paranoid bender.

    • Reply Arminosaur November 5, 2013 at 1:18 AM

      I hope arrogance isn’t contagious, or I may be in danger by reading this article.

    • Reply Jeff November 6, 2013 at 11:52 AM

      Wow, when I read this, I fully expected to see at least one piece of peer reviewed material… One shred of scientific fact. I guess it’s just another realiipus zealot keeping in line with ignoring evidence and creating a false reality of their own. I assume by you writing this that you’re an MD? DO? PA? NP? What credential do you own besides being another clueless keyboard scientist who spreads falsehoods? I also assume that by your logic, you think schizophrenia, personality disorders and the like are all “selfish” as well. Please, please, please tell me your credential which make allow you to accurately make these asinine comments

    • Reply v November 21, 2013 at 9:15 AM

      “Why in poor countries are reported rates of depression significantly less than in western countries? We have everything, they have nothing. You’d think that somebody who doesn’t have food for their family would feel pretty fucking depressed, yet no, it’s the western businessman with everything who feels depressed”

      Because depression as a medical disease most likely isn’t a societal ailment or a ‘thought’ ailment. If it doesn’t make sense for someone who’s wealthy to be depressed, I don’t know why suddenly that wealth and all it brings suddenly becomes the reason for the depression.
      Depression is probably a disease that I personally suspect is caused by some ubiquitous endrocine disruptor or some such that simply doesn’t exist in large quantities in undeveloped nations, yet. (We only test compounds in everyday use for toxic effects…mental health issues aren’t exactly things we look for in lab rats.)
      Last I checked, these same poor countries don’t exactly have strong family bonds and morals. Places where rape and abandonment of kids is commonplace. That sounds pretty selfish to me.
      Besides which, where do you get the idea that these fictitious ‘poor people who only work to bring home food to their family’ are happy?
      Importantly, I find it hard to believe that we have any sort of proper studies that truly measure depression in the poorest of countries. These places don’t even have regular medical care, much less mental health treatments.

      What you have is a theory that is already disproven by the fact that the poor people in America are more likely to be depressed than the rich people here.

      • Reply Toma November 27, 2013 at 3:29 PM

        “What is unclear is if there is a relationship between poverty and depression, they said, noting depression could lead to poverty in some circumstances, poverty could lead to depression in others, or some third factor could be causing both.”

        • Reply Anonymous January 9, 2014 at 10:35 AM

          I’m wondering if you have ever heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

    • Reply Louise November 27, 2013 at 11:13 PM

      Now yes I ‘ve said this all along, the only way to get deppressed is you must feel sorry for your poor little self and slip into that pit and give yourself permission to go there or not. But you must catch yourself before you go there. Jealousy has a lot to do with it. Look at those poor people in the Phillipeens they have no home to relax in. Thats depressing!!! Be thankful !!! thats how I beat that ugly word. I wont use it. If I’m alittle sad, I kick myself in the ass so to and thank God for all I have, I’ve got a bath and a half and so much more I cant tell here. Happy getting yourself out of depression and stay away from those Quacks who call themselves Doctors. Lookup how they make money from your sadness. Billions per year. And I have someone in my house who they hooked. Makes me sad. But depression I quick out the door. Thanks for this article !!!!

      • Reply Toma November 27, 2013 at 11:21 PM

        I agree with so much of this comment. Thanks, Louise.

      • Reply Anon November 28, 2013 at 12:18 AM

        You said it yourself; “when I get a little sad.” That is not what depression is, just a little sadness. It is this deep, complex illness. My doctor asked me when was the last time I was truly happy. I sat there, trying so hard to remember, but it has been so long, I can’t. I believe my depression is just as real as my Lupus. And like the Lupus, I have my bad days and my good days. It is not because I am jealous of material things. If you knew me, you could ask anyone I know, they know is all I want is to be happy.

        To the person that said something along the lines of, you have to let God will it; believe me, I have tried so many times. My ex fianceé is Muslim and that is a major belief, “inshallah or in God’s will” and he is receiving professional help for his depression. Maybe it is God’s will for us to seek his help.

        • Reply kaatie December 7, 2013 at 11:41 AM

          I remember thinking the same thing I can’t remember an instance of happiness ever,I am incredibly happy now ,I feel utter joy most days even though there is constant hiccups and disaster around me,I never saw a doctor or anything.,I filled some sort of spiritual void and it fixed me,I also stopped thinking about myself all the time ,and most of all faced really dreadful things that I had to strengthen and live through that left me no time to be depressed,it’s a luxury this is why you never see people eating cicadas in Africa with depression.this is a spiritual illness.

          I love what you’re writing toma.

      • Reply newzbug November 28, 2013 at 4:32 AM


        You are the kind of person who has no intelligence when it comes to illnesses and their causes. you appear to be too smart to allow yourself to get sick. Nice to know how do you do it? How about when you feel bad, put a sign on yourself and allow US to kick you in the ass

    • Reply Josh December 10, 2013 at 6:12 AM

      Never in all my life have I ever read such a beautiful, consummate masterpiece
      of ostentatious ignorance, tenuous incite and crippling inability to really understand the human mind.
      I think you should really leave it to the professionals who, let’s face it, actually know what they are talking about. Just because you think you possess an oracular knowledge of religion and philosophy, scarcely makes you an authority on this delicate topic. The very fact you’ve published your inflammatory views in such a foolish way is concerning. I as an atheist wouldn’t publicly judge or stigmatise you for your creed, but I will seeing as you’ve inflicted it upon us in such a tragic manner.
      It’s the easiest thing in the world to judge rather than to understand, from this it seems that the sheer ubiquity of mental illness in our society is too abstract and too great a challenge for your limited remit of human understanding. Ignorance is born from fear.
      Jesus himself was feared rather than understood.
      Science has provided profound evidence for the existence of depression and other mental illnesses alike.
      You should try basing your opinions on something more solid.

    • Reply Keith December 18, 2013 at 10:34 PM

      All of you are mindless followers of an idiotic prophet. Depression does exist. It is a result of the chemical interactions of the brains neurons. Some people don’t have genuine depression. They just have crapy lives and are too lazy to change things. As for the 4% of us that do have the neurological disorder, you belittle us by your in educated rantings. You wouldn’t say that someone who is paraplegic is lazy so why do you think it is OK for you to say this about us. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

    • Reply sgtaponeAnderson December 20, 2013 at 3:47 AM

      just the motivation I needed to put a 7.62 through my brain. depression is selfish. human beings are selfish. thank you for your honesty, everyone always says get help and stuff. well you cant help selfish so peace :)

    • Reply blahblah1233445 January 11, 2014 at 6:26 AM

      His writing style is worst than a commercial hollywood movie.

    • Reply brendon January 26, 2014 at 12:01 PM

      I don’t agree with you because I know a lot about reality and chemistry. The entropy lets say and Iso of such. (visa versa since ur a dumb shit I thought I would put this in brackets) I get what you say, but you are being an ignoramus.

    • Reply jane February 8, 2014 at 12:25 AM

      This is honestly one of the most ignorant and closed minded things I have ever read. Depression is an illness caused by chemical imbalances and the fact that there are still people who believe it to be something the person can just “snap out of” is crazy to me. While I do not wish depression on anyone, I hope that someday you understand the hell that it is- trust me, if people could just cure their depression as easily as you’re saying, they would.

      • Reply Estaban Haroon February 9, 2014 at 2:29 PM

        “This is the most close-minded thing I’ve ever read. Now let me tell you my perspective on things that is the correct way to look at things without a shadow of doubt and not even try to listen or understand anything you said.” Gj

    • Reply amelia March 7, 2014 at 8:47 AM

      you’re not factual, you’re ignorant.
      studies show their becomes a chemical imbalance in the brain when one develops a brain disorder, when developing depression the emotional/memory part of the brain shrinks, therefore you become numb and feel like you can’t do anything. being a sufferer from depression or in your words “Selfish” i don’t actually say “i hate my life” or ” i’m so ugly” or “my parents don’t care about me” i just want to feel happy and sane, but i’m washed over with this feeling of sadness that never seems to cease, i want to recover, i don’t yearn for the feeling of wanting to die. It’s purely a complication in the brain, the brain is easily messed, because the brain is the most complex organ.
      I may never change your opinion, or you may not even consider my opinion to be valid.
      But if you can be so ignorant and horrible about brain disorders
      i’m allowed to speak my opinion, from experience.

      • Reply amelia March 7, 2014 at 9:03 AM

        also, i am appreciative of what i have
        but depression turns you into a different person
        you become a shell of anger, numb, grief and nothing
        i’d much rather be poor and barley have anything yet be happy, than have everything i need yet feel deep sadness. when one is depressed, they feel like they have nothing because they’re simply ill. Just because depression is in you mind, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
        For example blood clots in the brain, you can’t see it therefore it can’t be real, right?
        Because that’s the logic i’m receiving from your article.

        also depression can be caused with mix up of hormones, i’m 13, and no i’m not just purely stating i’m “depressed” and i’m really just a stupid teenager that has crazy hormones.

        because i actually have something wrong with my hormones therefore resulting in feeling the way i am.

        I feel your article is unfair and ignorant, You’re just venting out your frustration on the ill, which isn’t right.

        My opinion once again may not be “valid” to you, but as you could spur such an ignorant opinion, i felt obliged to tell you mine.

    • Reply chris March 28, 2014 at 8:44 AM

      Depression is an illness but too many drugs make it worse you can sort it yourselfelf

    • Reply Erin March 29, 2014 at 5:58 PM

      I disagree. I think that poor folks are more depressed than rich people, they just won’t admit it. My proof is common sense. Nice article by the way, I just disagree. I think that it’s f***cked up to be happy that you’re working at Burger King and sucking somebody else’s d*ck for a living, sorry…

    • Reply Anon April 1, 2014 at 2:52 AM

      Ridiculous. Poor countries diagnose it less, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist there. And telling someone with a real, severe depression to think positive to make it go away is like telling a diabetic to think about making more insulin.

    • Reply M April 1, 2014 at 11:54 AM

      “There are chemical imbalances, yes, but they are caused by negative thoughts, not the other way around.”
      Curious, what is your basis in this statement? I am assuming you study or studied psychology/the human brain? Perhaps you should include this information more readily in your article, that would make it a lot more credible. I see you have received a lot of criticism here, so including specific study information relating to this statement as well as the rest of this article should certainly cut down on that.
      Or perhaps these claims are based on other people’s research? If so, I think some credit it very much due.

    • Reply Ed April 5, 2014 at 10:44 PM

      Sorry, but i think everyone’s here is depressed… and also are selfish :D, i’m depressed and i’m being selfish too; maybe everyday. If not… what the hell are we doing reading this insane amount of comments? Well, that’s it. We’re depressed. So… advide: turn off the pc/notebook/smartphone/tablet or whatever you´re using and go to sleep/walk/meet someone/do any thing that’s not this :D

    • Reply Johnathan Murphy April 7, 2014 at 6:54 AM

      Everyone ignore that idiot “Juan Legerta” he would argue with a snail for going the wrong way. Hes obviously so depressed he wants to caps lock and cuss everyone here into misery with him, ya know misery love company.

    • Reply Nothankyou April 10, 2014 at 10:20 AM

      You’re not happy. You’re selfish.
      Happiness is not real. It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads. People, in stereotypical attempts to make what they do look relevant, identify endless causes for happiness, and for each cause there is an unnecessarily complex reasons. My contention is that there is but one true cause, and it has to do with your centre.

      You’re not religious. You’re selfish.
      God is not real. It is something that exists in people’s minds. It can not be seen or touched or identified by sight or spirit in the real word. It’s all in people’s heads. Churchgoers, in stereotypical attempts to make what they do look relevant, identify endless causes for God, and for each cause there is an unnecessarily complex solution. My contention is that there is but one true cause, and it has to do with your centre.

    • Reply AnnaMateo May 15, 2014 at 3:22 PM

      Depression is caused from conformity to a society you don’t agree with. Living under your potential. Allowing others to step on your head to get over you. Lack of exercise. Psychological beatings from childhood. It isn’t selfishness, sometimes it is from being too generous. Persons entire life is giving and nothing comes back. Selfish people are rarely depressed. They don’t care what anyone thinks of them or how their behavior effects others, why would they be depressed.

      • Reply Raddmiral May 15, 2014 at 5:09 PM

        Thank you for saying what I wish I could have said.

      • Reply Natalie May 15, 2014 at 11:33 PM

        In my experience, it’s about caring too much. So much that it causes one to vigilantly pursue evidence that others also care and empathize to the same degree.

        My depression is selfish when I allow it to grow. Maybe you’re right about what causes it, but I can’t say I’m especially generous or giving of myself. What do have is reserved for myself. Maybe according to your definition, I’m not depressed.

        I have people close to me who are depressed and giving of themselves but clearly expect something back in every case. Giving is great when it comes from within and not an associated disappointment from what isn’t reciprocated. It’s a pattern that leads to drawn out misery and self loathing.

    • Reply Freud June 28, 2014 at 1:19 AM

      The article is written by someone who have absolutely no knowledge about psychology or neurology, which is really sad. The more sad thing is that many people started believing in the misinformation he provided. My facebook friend gave me the link of this page to have some laughs. I have no idea that how he got into such incredibly stupid blog :D I’ve treated hundreds of patients and trust me, depression is an illness. Don’t trust me? No problem; just do a quick google search about the brain scans of a depressed person. Yes, you can see the signs of depression with the help of brain scans. Sometimes depression can be caused by low dopamine levels. If your views about depression are still not changed then I challenge you to take meds that lower the dopamine levels, and then i’ll ask you if depression is selfishness or an illness.

    • Reply LogicOverEmotions July 9, 2014 at 12:56 AM

      I have to agree with Venkat, this article is brilliant Toma. You appear to be quite qualified, seeing as all the posts on here that disagree with you are nothing more than profanity and ignorant anger, that is. I am yet to see any of these comments actually bring up a logical argument to your article.

    • Reply Bob July 11, 2014 at 7:15 PM

      Pathetic article— Depression is a neurological problem with complexities beyond your knowledge. Your ignorance is abhorrent. Depression can be about one’s self or about a slew of other things: various political injustices, social constructs, inescapable socioeconomic entrapments. To suggest that ALL depression can be classified under the moniker of selfishness is hysterically absurd. This article is a waste of time. I would never consider reading another one of this writer’s articles considering the rubbish contained in this one. Do not undermine a mental condition. Do not trivialize other peoples’ emotions and mentalities. I value your opinion as a human being, but it is, without question, misguided and utter ignorance.

    • Reply Jennifer July 14, 2014 at 9:27 AM

      First, I would like to know Toma, if you have experienced depression before?
      Second, I would like to see some citation of where exactly you get your information, for instance “… in poor countries are reported rates of depression significantly less than in western countries.” How exactly do you even get your information in general? Before commenting on one of your articles I took the liberty of reading a few more of your “articles” and decided to try to be a bit open minded about your opinions. However it becomes quite hard to take your information seriously when in a few articles you have entertwined foul language within your blog such as words like “pissed” “WTF” and others. It really does discredit your opinion. Seeing as you have no certification or proof that you have done some extensive research in Depression and this is simply just a blog, I hope that people who are currently depressed and in search of help do not take this blog seriously. If you find yourself feeling depressed, I urge you to get help. It’s not easy to will yourself into positive thinking. I speak from personal experience,although I know and understand that someone else’s experience will not be identical to my own. In my case while i felt depressed. It was more feelings of guilt of things I shouldn’t have felt guilty of. Things that weren’t my fault or were even out of my own control. There are many reasons for depressions, not simply cause by one’s own selfishness.

    • Reply Lyle Crawford April 5, 2015 at 1:04 AM

      Yeah, cancer is selfish too.

    • Reply clandestinemirage April 9, 2015 at 3:37 AM

      I’ve been battling depression on and off for more than ten years. I thought I’d finally escaped and gained a perspective that would block any recurrence. And then at random while on my laptop, with no reason to be sad…I visualize myself dead upon the carpet. A possible self doubt I’ve tossed away, overcome?. It’s not an issue until the visions keep happening. I begin crying, confused and unsure of how to reach out about something like this. It’s not my desire, it’s my mind messing with me. When I express it, people tell me I’m stronger than suicide. But I’m trying to tell them how frightened I am.
      I have confident and happy moments, I get past my depression. And then I say something awkward and a switch is hit. My inner voice mocks me. People would be better without my presence.
      I do not seek pity. So do not apologize to me. I’m aware I’ve been programmed horribly in my childhood years. I complicate relationships. Been to therapy and distanced myself from certain people…but my reactions are dysfunctional. Everyone is laughing at me. It doesn’t matter what you say, it just sounds like lip service. I’m exhausted of pretending I’m normal.
      Because I don’t know how to. And I’m always considering everyone else before myself. I don’t want this anymore.
      Every day is a battle. A battle to overcome my worthlessness. Over thinking everything because I don’t know which way is up.
      ‘Nuisance, selfish, annoying, no one cares, shut up.’ My inner voice quiets me with these words.

    • Reply Emelda April 29, 2015 at 12:09 AM

      This is one of the most narrow minded blinkered opinions I’ve read in a long time. I feel sympathy for such a cold soul that can’t recognise genuine solice or hardship.
      Long may this Toma live in his parallel universe with no consideration for those with no one to offend with their sadness or those who have little time left to reconcile their plight.

    • Reply Clarise May 12, 2015 at 9:56 PM

      This is BS, obviously you don’t know what depression is… It’s a disease caused by chemical imbalance in brain… Not selfishness… You’re just an arrogant dick that is afraid sick people might steal some attention from you…

    • Reply none of May 14, 2015 at 8:53 AM

      You are cruel.

    • Reply Adalee May 20, 2015 at 6:41 PM

      Sorry but your wrong it’s a chemical embalance which makes it so you can’t think happy thoughts. It is not selfish!!!

    • Reply foxy June 13, 2015 at 8:24 PM

      Needed to read this. I spend way too much time worrying about myself when time could be much better spent helping someone else. and the more i give, the richer i feel.

    • Reply Akanksha June 15, 2015 at 1:33 PM

      Are you crazy!!!!!!!! Depression is selfishness. How can you even say so, you don’t know how it feels. If suppose you have hypertension can you bring it down by just thinking. I like to tell how it is. You want to go out with friends but can’t leave the bed.Every day evevery second your head is throbbing like hell. It feels someone is slicing your heart. You feel like a piece of shit. You think decide that I’ll feel happy today but their is a devil sitting inside you which drags you inside, each step feels so heavy as if you gonna fall. I hope your next article would be cancer is nothing but just a way out so that everyone sympathizes with you. If you think cancer should go away it will. All those patients are just attention seekers. It’s just because ofguys like you ppeople avoid to get themselves treated. You have created that social stigma . DEPRESSION IS AS MUCH A ILLNESS AS CANCER OR DIABETES IS. IT NEED TREATMENT AND PAITENTS NEED AS MUCH CARE.!!!!

      • Reply Toma June 15, 2015 at 2:57 PM

        What stigma? Society supports so-called mental illness more than ever before, same as it supports abortion, and homosexuality, and adultery. Any shame stems from your own insecurity.

    • Reply Ciw37 June 15, 2015 at 6:03 PM

      You sir have no idea what you are talking about. I suggest you stop embarrassing yourself. It is clear you do not suffer from depression therefore you have no experience on the matter. I truly intelligent person doesn’t speak on subjects they have no experience in. I am attractive, in shape, and highly successful. I have a supportive family and no serious problems in my life yet I still need a medication to avoid a crippling depression. How does your pseudo logic explain that?

      • Reply Natalie June 28, 2015 at 1:25 AM

        Wouldn’t an argument be pointless if you’ve already decided the author is clueless and has no experience? Clearly you are the authority so an argument is null.

    • Reply Suzie June 21, 2015 at 10:54 AM

      I can’t quite believe how ignorant this article is, what you’re describing is not depression, merely feeling sad – it is not the same thing. Please dont belittle people with depression, there is often no reason that they can think of, no ‘I didn’t get that promotion’ or ‘I’m too fat’. Depression is far far past that, believe me “thinking positive” does not just cure something like this, that’s like telling a someone with cancer to think away there illness. It is very much physical.

    • Reply Sonia July 4, 2015 at 5:42 PM

      Only an unlearned fool would say depressed people are selfish. Depression is a disease and not the same as occasional sadness. The brain of a depressed person is physically different from a regular person’a brain. NO ONE chooses to be depressed. I’m sick and tired of this self help revolution and the message that being depressed is selfish or caused by negative thinking .That”s so far from the real truth. How is calling them selfish helpful? Adding guilt to the already daily horrible thought will help bring suicide quicker. The lack of conversation and understanding is the real problem. All that self help is detrimental and does not treat the depression. Depressed people need to involve both medication and psychotherapy from real professionals.

    • Reply Haley July 9, 2015 at 11:02 AM

      It is also selfish to attack others in order to make a point. It is pride (hubris) which is the base of selfishness. It’s nice that you wrote an article, however, if your intention was to help others you should note, only gentleness, love and respect heal. If your intention was to express your anger with situations you find difficult, then it would be more dignified simply to state that. People don’t change because they are shamed. They change because they are loved. True strength is expressed in restraint not force.

    • Reply Becca July 21, 2015 at 5:28 AM

      You’re Christian? CS Lewis was depressed. Many biblical characters were depressed. People learn more before you post things over things you have little experience of yourself.

      • Reply Natalie July 27, 2015 at 8:17 PM

        Does comparing yourself to admired historical figures make you feel more worthy? I was trying to find a more sensitive way to way this, but I figured there wouldn’t be a way so here goes. I don’t think biblical figures policed the opinions and thoughts of others, or spent time comparing themselves to others, finding offense in objective words. It appears to be an obsession with self image, and there is plenty of denial (of a basic human trait that all people share, and should not be inherently shameful). How can life be productive, even if at every turn one tries to find ways to help others and dismiss the possibility that one is selfish, if ultimately one is absorbed in image? That, to me, is selfish. It is no one else’s duty to tread carefully around your mental state. If you choose to perceive it as an insult, that’s your choice.

        • Reply Watcher November 13, 2015 at 5:58 PM

          ….says the ever-fawning follower of Toma. Actually…

          Natalie MIGHT be Toma, using another name! If that’s so, well that’s not credible at all!

    • Reply Stien July 25, 2015 at 3:28 PM

      Cool trolling article bro. That, or go educate yourself.

    • Reply ryan July 28, 2015 at 3:04 PM

      excuse me, to the person that wrote that depression is SELFISH. You are incredibly ignorant and clueless and obviously don’t know what it means to feel depressed. I am clinically depressed and I am by no means selfish and have never been considered selfish by anyone. Do you think I choose this illness? It runs in my family. Your ignorance is scary. Your judging people over an illness they can’t control. Would you accuse people with cancer with a negative personality trait? When your truely depressed you feel hopeless, your tired of living, your lethargic, your fatigued. You have no clue at all about what you are talking about. There are physical and mental symptoms that are terrifying. I would rather miss a limb then to have this. If you were in my shoes you would not make such ignorant, insensitive, SELFISH, and cruel remarks about a disease you obviously know nothing about. How dare you. People that are depressed DIE everyday. You should be ashamed of yourself for your judgmental remarks. You don’t have a single clue what it is to be severely depressed and if I were you I’d shut my mouth and do a little more research.

    • Reply dolly pardon August 27, 2015 at 6:01 PM

      frankly,its garbage. the article the style all of it

    • Reply Holly August 28, 2015 at 2:47 AM

      Selfishness exists all around, in most people. Your writing style was a selfish choice.
      You cannot judge the state of a person’s emotional wellbeing by how they physically appear, e.g, young, wealthy, cheerful sounding voice, rich, etc. All those things can be wrongly judged or not a true reflection of who is inside them. People in poorer countries still get depression they just don’t get help. Perhaps you should scroll through this Facebook page and try telling those people it was all in their head (where else would it be?)

    • Reply ephemera September 15, 2015 at 8:13 PM

      I agree. But I believe that in severe, honest cases, depression causes self centeredness. There are certain types of brain damage that make it difficult for some people to act “normal”. Unfortunately there are drugs (like ecstasy, cocaine, and meth) that used at a developmental age in a person’s life will permanently damage their limbic system. Meaning that the production of dopamine and serotonin stop completely in severe cases. This is known as anhedonia. ‘An’ meaning without ‘hedon’ pleasure ‘ia’, the state of being so. I suffer from major depression on paper, and all of the symptoms manifest in my life to a T. I like what you had to say and agree that positive thinking can change your life and outlook.I have been able to do so even in prison. Even when I had destroyed my life completely and had betrayed every value and goal that mattered to me because I wanted to feel better. I don’t blame others for my circumstances in life (anymore). I am where I am because I have fried my brain. Narcissist’s, get very angry at those who portray qualities of weakness, fear, insecurity, and self doubt. That is because they are driven by a vacume of insecurity and fear themselves. The difference between them and someone with empathy is that they will stop at nothing to gain power and security so that this fear and anger might be pushed as far away as possible. Suppressed deep within, they feel all of those qualities they HATE in others. Yet instead of recognizing and having empathy for those that do, they project on to people they characterize as different, or dissimilar to them those very qualities in order to compare and then deny that they posses them. Im not going to argue that positive thinking can produce great results in a persons life. I agree that altruism is a great quality to have. But if you haven’t been there, you cannot have empathy for those who have. Without empathy,your going to have a hard time successfully being altruistic. I sure as hell am not going to respect your opinion if you do not recognize or have never experienced lasting severe depression. You clearly have disdain for all meekness and “negativity” . What your saying doesn’t account for brainwashing, brain damage, emotional abuse (the technique your exercising in this article to abuse those you dislike is called invalidation. The one Im exercising is called projection). I could go on and on but you wont listen or internalize any of this. Depression is a real disease represented not by a compilation of a whiney 1st world nation housewives but by sufferers of literal brain damage. The brain is an organ like anything else. It can fail just like your liver or heart would and develop diseases. It is an organ. Can I positive think my diabetes or cancer away??? Sure they arent similar to SADNESS. Because SADNESS ISNT DEPRESSION. Get your godamn facts right before you criticize a large group of people. If you want to write an article on why you think the modern science behind mental health and brain disease is bullshit maybe I will be inspired to use “positive thinking” as the only cure. But irrationaly criticizing people who suffer from a well known and proven illness using invalidation and misunderstanding as your only basis is just going to piss people off.

    • Reply Kelly September 24, 2015 at 2:17 PM

      Have you ever even been suicidal? Depression isn’t sadness: people don’t necessairily get depressed because of anything or anyone. An episode of depression is not even the same game as chronic depression. Have you ever had everything you ever enjoyed taken away from you, lost all feeling, lost all hope? How can you cherish “little moments” when even just eating and bathing become huge battles of will? Depression isnt a choice, because trust me, nobody would ever knowingly choose it. People in first world countries dont have it probably because we do not survive there. You’re article might as well be calling cancer a selfish disease because all terminal cancer patients can think about is how much it hurts and how much they are hurting their loved ones. Why dont they just go outside and enjoy the butterflies after intensive chemo? Because that’s just not how pain works.

    • Reply NoTwoSameRealities October 5, 2015 at 5:44 PM

      Does anybody stop to fucking consider parenting????? Or being detached from positive thoughts physically???… Sometimes people get so beat that physically it takes a toll on them. They can’t eat, they can’t sleep which messes with their cognitive thinking… Or have had chronic anxiety and fighting it or realizing it’s their??? They go to the gym, they think positive, they meet new people, they change the way they eat but then someday they wake up and the stress feels like 3x their body weight holding them down that no amount of “positive thinking” can get them through. And ironically “positive thinking” is what got them there to not see the negativity that was holding them down to escape it. There are TOXIC people out there and believe me, it’s not depressed ones who have gone through so much hurt in their life and stayed positive that now have DEPRESSION as an illness. They are the most empathetic and understanding people. Who cant get a single bit of empathy when they have hit rock bottom because the toxic people around them are being annoyed that they are sad. The people that they loved and thought about and were selfless for. Whom they actually apologize to for being depressed. To realize they don’t give a shit. Then you go to a Doctor to hear that you are selfish??? or ill. .. Never fucking judge somebody when you never lived their life. pathy goes a long way. Humans are simple. That’s a natural human survival need and you would be surprised how many people are starved of it. Selfish??? Taking medication selfish??? Wow. It’s anything but selfish. Its taking care of yourself. It’s having humility. It’s being strong enough to say “hey I need this medication and therapy because I need help.” I need to be selfish to be selfless because I can’t take care of other people or bring positivity to them if I don’t get better first “

    • Reply Jash October 6, 2015 at 2:51 PM

      You heard it guys the best way to beat depression is to ignore what you want.
      Because people who only think of themselves are just plain crazy. Why sometimes I think about making other people happy so much that I forget who I am. Oh wait that’s just EXACTLY what depressed people do. They just don’t think for themselves and hold back.
      And before you judge us for holding back I just want you to think about anyone you’ve known who suffered through depression and I fucking guarantee that person was more of a risk taker than you were.

    • Reply Adam October 13, 2015 at 1:42 AM

      Perhaps it isn’t always best to give specific terms to aspects of life/mentality. Words can work against us at times. Still…considering we have a choice with what we say…hear this out
      I wonder…if another time will come, when you may become ‘depressed’ will you stand by these words? Rich or poor, broken-hearted, ill. Or…as is the case with many damn fine people – you might find yourself low for no good reason at all and helplessly unable to see ways of tackling it.
      Regarding your “Poor Man” perspective; if you found yourself on a desert island, stranded, beyond poverty – you would have to strive to survive yes? Do this, achieve your basics, live simple, YET STILL you may well find yourself becoming depressed. Just as a wealthy prince in a far off tower will feel – Just as a poor man in any given location will feel. Just as a lion, a dog, a monkey might feel. Are they being selfish?
      Positive + negative = life itself. Both are NATURAL. And both will keep hapkening my friend, either making small or bigger waves.
      Perhaps depression – sorry – “depression” wouldn’t be so prevalent if people stopped making it as such. The lows, the negative, the dark – it’s all meant to be within us as much as the highs, the positives, the light. Within us and without us, it will go on.
      Next time the circle turns – will you accept ‘depression’ for what it is? Or will you be re-reading your bold statement, wondering if at the time you hit that button, you yourself were being somewhat ‘selfish’

    • Reply MS Mama October 13, 2015 at 7:04 AM

      You are an idiot if you believe this.

    • Reply Gavin November 21, 2015 at 4:53 AM

      Depression is real. As someone who pursues neuroscience as a major, AND has had first-hand experience with being depressed, I can ascertain that this article is an archetype of the attitude that need to stop.

      If you want to know my personal story first, I suffered abuse, schoolyard bullying, rape, and gang violence in my pre-pubescent years of life. This set the pace for how my brain formed and how it processes hormones.

      People who are depressed have a wiring malfunction in the mind. They either lack dopamine/serotonin, do not recycle it efficiently enough to function as efficiently as the “standard” mind, or lack the receptors to “recieve” the hormones themselves. This has been proven by tangible, publishable and applicable results. I am on a gentle touch of medication, a very low dose of an SDRI, and it has made ALL the difference in my life.

      I did not spend my spare time looking at negatives. There is brain damage in the depressed mind. The organelle responsible for memory, the hippocampus is smaller and the organelle that orchestrates “survival” emotions, the amygdala, is larger. This ratio tells me that the hippocampus cannot hold on to emotional stimulus long enough to process it as positive. And thus starts the chain reaction. People who are depressed suffer with compromised immune systems, digestion problems, problems regulating alertness and blood pressure, etc. You respond to the brain’s demands to “think positive” or “negative” JUST as naturally as you respond to its demands to breathe or walk or digest.

      You probably have spent too much time in the privileged parts of society and believe that everyone who is depressed create their own hell. This is not the case. You probably buy into the glorified media standard that people who seek help, take medication, and manage and cope effectively have minor problems that they can’t handle, or refuse to engineer their thoughts to steer them in a positive direction. Some have had beginnings like mine, some are genetically pre-disposed to a faulty cognitive wiring. Some are overseas and clawing at one another for scraps of food and crying at night. I supposed they should just reflect on the positive, and sit under a tree and that will magically eradicate their problems? Sadly not.

      Depression is a real disease, as it has taken lives, significantly damages quality of living, destroys relationships, and is PHYSICALLY PROVEN WITH PET SCANS to denote a deformity in the mind. For you to trivialize it on your little blog speaks volumes about your deplorable character. You and those who share similar beliefs, are people I hold in regards slightly above criminals, because you are a detriment to societal progress, and your words belong pidgeonholed here, and absolutely no where else.

  • Reply Lee March 10, 2013 at 12:19 PM

    It takes an immense amount of guts to post something like this, I commend you for that. However, I believe your reasoning is flawed in the way that you that depression isn’t real because it’s all in the head. Guess what else is only in the head, everything that’s not tangible. This statement would assume that emotions aren’t real, theories aren’t real, arguments aren’t real. Nothing is real. Also, where are your sources on ‘chemical imbalances are caused by negative thoughts’? I acknowledge that this is still in the unknown and the cause of depression is still not specifically confirmed, but that does not justify you asserting your own beliefs and claiming them to be true. Have you ever been depressed? Have you ever had a close family member be depressed? You would quickly find out that your article is not that sound in logic. You probably have many friends and family that are diagnosed with depression, but you don’t know. Why? Because they are trying. They are trying to not make your life miserable, they are trying to become better people. They are not sitting in their homes leeching off people, because they are outside working in the real world to get themselves somewhere. It may not seem like it on the outside, but to these people each and every day may be an energy-draining struggle.

    • Reply Toma March 10, 2013 at 12:29 PM

      Thanks for your comment, Lee. I recognised the arrogance of the title when I wrote it, but I do believe it’s true.

      Real guts (and/or stupidity) would be posting something like this if I hadn’t personally seen or experience depression. I have seen it at it’s extreme, and it is for that very reason that I stand by my post. I saw a perfect family destroyed by ‘depression’, and ultimately it turned out that it was simply a way for one of the partners to escape. They were being selfish. This is but one case I have witnessed. There are others.

      The fact is, if something is more important than one’s self then the depression will never take hold because the force of that other is greater. If one places one’s self ahead of that other then the depression will take hold. It is that placement that makes one selfish. I ask you to have a read of my article on The Centre. It’s an important principle.

      • Reply Grace Evon August 20, 2013 at 4:57 PM

        How dare you?! Many people close to me and myself are VERY depressed! I know some of your information is right from my time in HOSPITALIZATION but that is one idea! Look it up before you open your mouth next time and effend people!

      • Reply Anonymus Teenager August 26, 2013 at 10:37 AM

        I sincerely apologize if I come across in any negative way, but I only wish to share my opinion/current experience. Though what you say may be true for some, and I may just have a different mind set, but I do have depression (due to bullying, parent problems and such). I do realize I’m using the word I a lot, but unlike the people you have described, rarely it is that I think about myself. I care more about the well being of those that are around me; and again, unlike those you have described, my life goal is to ensure the happiness of others. I wish to bring them up, where as you told them to think as themselves as selfish. I may think of myself as selfish, as well as many other negative things but I hardly ever talk about myself like this unless necessary for project and such. Again, I apologize if I came across as rude, but thank you for taking your time to read this, if you did.

      • Reply Emma September 21, 2013 at 11:15 AM

        you are a little FUCKER> i have had clinical depression since I was in 2nd grade, I tried to HANG myself in my room after school. GO DIE. Unless you have had it more than half of your life, you are NO authority. That is unless you have a medical degree and a white lab coat…

        • Reply Killingspree September 28, 2013 at 12:34 PM

          Wow you sound like a good person to be around. You took life and family for granted and tried to hang yourself. NOW that is the DEFINITION of selfish.

          • Sarah October 4, 2013 at 1:28 AM

            Well of having depression is so awful, seems like you accepting lot would be much happier if we erased ourselves.

          • Person October 16, 2013 at 1:24 PM

            And you have just touched on the reason why most people are depressed, including me. Sure, my constant negative thoughts have something to do with it, but the underlying cause is because I have been ostacized by EVERYONE that I have met aside from three other people my age. And that really doesn’t help much, because they were ostacized just like me as a result, and I often blame myself.That ostacision started on day one of preschool and has never stopped.

            For Tomo’s primate brain, here is how it works in a few steps.

            1. You walk in to a room full of people you hope that you will be friends with.
            2. They all think you are some kind of wierdo and dont even give you the chance.
            3. You try anyway. And if you are strong enough you fight through the pain and try and try and try. And always fail.
            4. They hate you. They thought you were wierd before. Now they think you are annoying too.
            5. After hearing all of this for a lifetime, you begin to take the things they say deeply and seriously in your own head, leading you to hate yourself.

            You just another asshole. No different from most everyone else I have ever met.

          • Raddmiral May 13, 2014 at 7:21 AM

            This is the most truthful comment on this article. Thank you Person, for letting us know that there are other people out there who experience the same horrible things we do.

            Toma: Read this comment and answer this question: in such a case Person is describing, how is depression resulting from this circumstance caused by being selfish? Is it not instead the compassion we feel for other people, that we wish to share our time with them, to make their lives better, and grow with them in the process, and being denied that time, that instead makes people like me, and like Person, depressed?

            Answer this honestly and truthfully and all is forgiven.

      • Reply Eddie October 4, 2013 at 9:49 AM

        I have family members that have bipolar. Nothing has worked for them but therapy. When the therapy stops ( putting blame on others ),then what achievements were made disappear shortly. Since I’ve witnessed all their behavior on these drugs and nothing to suggest a wellness of any kind. The doctors are either a fraud or the patients are beyond any help we can give them. I don’t believe God has made them this way. No,they do chose to treat others as if they can’t control themselves. I believe its more than being selfish. I myself have had panic attacks. Zoloft helped and after some time later I’m fine now. Still I believe what your saying. Even then I had a lot of burdons with my company,among others was the sick people in my life that are still with me. I got rid of my failing company,sold my home,downsized a bit. Now my new job lets me travel to get away from the ill so they can’t bring me down again. That said,I’ve never felt better. But when I go home to rest its as if I’ve never left. They must love feeding off each others shortcomings is all I figure. They’re the most selfish people I’ve ever met. Or I work around the least self absorbed in the world?

        • Reply H October 4, 2013 at 1:34 PM

          Hi Eddie
          Its good that you try and distance yourself from people that get you down. Depression is “contagious”. Doesnt matter how happy or upbeat you are they will always find a way to bring you down. And no matter how much you love them, you cant help them. They love to wallow in their own self pity. Maybe one day when theyre old and sitting alone theyll realise that theyve alienated all their loved ones that tried to help them. Maybe then theyll come right or not. You just carry on as you are and be with people that share your happiness.

          • Mr Cellophane November 13, 2013 at 9:50 PM

            “They love to wallow in their own self pity.” What the actual fuck? I can’t believe mindsets like this exist.

            You are the problem. You. This fucking attitude right here.

  • Reply aprilwolfe March 18, 2013 at 7:25 PM

    It seems what you’re actually describing from your own situation is narcissism, not depression. Depression isn’t always–or ever–caused by a specific stimuli from a person’s life, i.e. their terrible job, their terrible car, the things their neighbors have that they don’t. Depression tends to have its roots in much larger circumstances that the depressed person knows she cannot control, more akin to a philosophical breakdown when a realization occurs that some problems may have no solution, no matter how hard you try. For instance, the war, the Steubenville rape trials, the Israeli Palestine conflicts. I don’t think it’s fair of you to trivialize the very real depression of others by assuming your experience is the litmus test for depression. Also, suffering from narcissism is very real, too. It destroys marriages and families, and it’s a persistent mental illness with high links to heart disease and stress. Though narcissism really is a form of self-centeredness, and perhaps it can be treated with what you describe in your post, but it will rarely disappear.

    • Reply Toma March 18, 2013 at 11:23 PM

      Thanks for your comment, April. I appreciate your effort in writing it. Unfortunately your comment epitomises everything that I despise about psychology. Too much science, not enough spirit. Each and every human issue has to be broken down into micro-issues with micro-causes, the end result of which is confusion and a path that has nothing to do with the actual origin.

      In this article I am not referring to narcissism, I am talking specifically about depression. Where psychology tends to treat these issues as separate, I analyse them from a spiritual standpoint and the cause is identical for both. Problems such as multiple-personality disorder, bi-polar disorder, depression, anxiety and narcissism stem exclusively from the human spirit, and all have a spiritual cause, not a scientific one. It may seem that I am trivialising depression through simplification, but I am not. My assessment is a spiritual one, not an intellectual one, hence it can not and should not be analysed intellectually. A big ask for some, I know.

      Having something in life greater than one’s self ensures no depression, no anxiety, and no fear. That something is an absolute centre. Mine is God. I can say that with absolute certainty and without hesitation. Ask a depressed person what their’s is and see what kind of answer you get.

      • Reply Hayley April 14, 2013 at 11:31 AM

        Unfortunately you’re very wrong, Toma. I am a Christian, and have faith in God. That didn’t fix me. I also started volunteering my time for a greater cause. While it helped stopped me taking my own life (I knew I couldn’t because I was being relied upon), it didn’t cure me. I wasn’t unhappy. I felt worthless, hopeless and like the world had too many problems that it was beyond fixing.

        I hope anyone reading your blog goes and gets advice from someone who actually understands mental illness, and seeks support from friends and family who love them. No one deserves to live with ‘the buzz’ as one of your commenters described it. Most people I know who falsely claim that depression doesn’t exist, or is selfish, either have lost someone to depression and find it easiest to deal with the loss in that way, or are looking to find a way to avoid having to act or care about people they know who suffer depression. Either way Toma, I’m praying for you.

        Ps. It’s taken me five years, but I have finally taken control of my illness, and am starting to make the most of my life and the gifts I’ve been given.

        • Reply Toma April 17, 2013 at 5:58 PM

          Hey Hayley. I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, so much so that I wrote a blog post inspired by your comment. I hope you will get my point.

          The most dangerous word in the English language

          • AshCrash June 15, 2013 at 6:29 PM

            You’re a real arrogant asshole… You say someone who’s depressed is being “selfish” because it involves “them”. Sorry but, that is not being “selfish” by any means. Many people have reasons for feeling the way they do and sometimes not everyone is strong enough to just pull-out of it. Not everyone has the mental capability to just say to themselves “I’m sad because of this but I’m being selfish so I need to just get over it” That’s so fucking stupid you make me sick. As a person who is familiar with depression I assure you that your thoughts are very flawed. Have you ever thought, gee, these events that occurred in this persons life are not going to be reversed and maybe there’s absolutely nothing they can do to change the situation or make it better… and you expect them to just get over it? You said your solution was “God”. Well, good for you. Not everyone believes in the man in the sky and that isn’t a solution for everyone. Quit being egocentric.

          • Toma June 16, 2013 at 11:34 AM

            At no point did I say that God is THE solution, only A solution, and my recommended one.

            I don’t expect people to simply click their fingers and feel better. I do expect them to come to a better understanding of themselves, and of the real causes of their suffering, which are the exact same causes for ALL of us. Things needn’t be complicated, but that’s not the same as saying they are easy.

          • Ugh, you disgust me. October 16, 2013 at 1:42 PM

            So you are taking some of the most fragile psyches you could possibly choose as a target audience and calling them selfish, and now evil all on the same blog?

            “Listen. You are NOT a bad person. You are a very good person whom bad things have happend to.” – Sirius Black

            So I wonder, then, who is really the evil one in this debate?

          • Ari October 16, 2013 at 3:15 PM

            Toma, you are as selfish as almost anyone else, are you not? You are no more perfect than the average Joe. You certainly are more self centered than Mother Theresa was. Yet you have never suffered from depression and she did. I know many self centered people who are free of depression and I know of some very selfless humans who suffer with depression greatly.

            Depression often manifests from fear. It is not a direct result of self centered ness. You are clearly no Mother Theresa and yet you are depression free. And on top of that you choose NOT to educate yourself on severe depression outside of your family situation and then post a very flawed and angry speech on how depression is selfish bullshit.

            There are so many self absorbed people out there who have never tasted depression and vice versa. You seem to conveniently ignore this fact.

      • Reply Andy Webb April 27, 2013 at 4:12 PM

        Toma, you are correct to an extent because its not the thoughts we have that make us depressed, its our attachment to those thoughts. Situational depression such as the death of someone we love or depend upon is often transient and directly related to the incident of loss but generally, if we don’t think about being depressed, we are less likely to feel it. I suffer with it on and off but mine is based around a complete and utter nihilistic view of the world which i now cannot shake. Existential depression can’t be cured by taking up a cause because the way you’ve trained yourself to think to put yourself there in the first place makes you question the value of the cause and even what ‘value’ is in the grand scheme of things. I believe its the distraction, not the cause that pulls you our of the spiral. I once spoke in depth to a Jehovahs Witness about the afterlife and their core beliefs of everlasting life after Armageddon and what-not. Even though the whole idea just came across as a preposterous work of fiction designed purely to suck in those who are at a wits end and vulnerable, looking for meaning, you could tell that the years of indoctrination his depressed mother had pushed him through had worked and he genuinely believed he was going to live forever.

        Keep yourself distracted, keep your eye on the ball and keep a firm grasp on what your idea of progress is and strive for it because when you lose track of these 3 cornerstones, it will find you. Selfishness has nothing to do with it.

        • Reply Toma April 27, 2013 at 4:28 PM

          Although I use the word selfish the more appropriate term would be self-centred, hence the reference to my article on The Centre. Whatever the reasons for depression they come from within, which is to say from one’s own centre. The dissolution of self cures that, such that whatever the cause is ceases to matter. It’s important that we free our minds, not distract them further.

          • Andy Webb April 27, 2013 at 4:56 PM

            Wouldn’t that suggest that depression is purely a symptom of us not living up to our ego though? The buddhists are keen on the whole disengagement with the ego in order to become enlightened but unfortunately, you end up with Nihilism waiting at the other end (speaking purely from my own perspective of course) and when you start to question causes, goals and progress and whether or not ‘progress’ as a concept even exists, it lands you in a state of complete cognitive dissonance towards all your previous goals. I have not been able to identify what progress is for some time now and because of it, when i cannot keep myself distracted, I slip in and out of depression. I don’t mean to come across disrespectful towards your beliefs and am aware this is likely to sound patronising but I have not been able to successfully convince myself that religion is a plausible step forward up to now and frequently turn to more self destructive routes such as alcohol. If you have any suggestions on how this nihilism can be combatted, I’d be very interested in hearing them because the usual response is ‘take up a cause’ and as you can see the problem then becomes cyclical.

          • Toma April 27, 2013 at 5:14 PM

            It’s not just Buddhism that emphasises the disengagement of ego. Christianity does also. He who loses himself will find himself, and so forth.

            If you haven’t already, you should check out Tony Robbins’ bit on the 6 Human Needs. Although I strongly disagree with the man on a lot of things, sometimes he manages to hit the nail on the head. Very briefly, we have core needs that must be met, and meeting those needs dictates our behaviour. Smoking for example fills a need, and quitting smoking does not mean we no longer have that need. Hence why we can leave alcohol, for example, and then go back to it. The need is still there. We must identify it and find other ways to meet it. The disillusion of ego is the most permanent way.

            The unwillingness of the ego to let go of the ego out of fear of Nihilism is the fruit of a rotten tree. It is a thought born of the ego, so how can we trust it’s objectivity?